Nostradamus

Super super Kingussie. A fucking awesome weekend, although actually it started on Sunday... lots of bevvying, firemaking and outdoor activities. A good time with John, Mike, Dave and Steel.Sunday – a cheeky wee 6am start at work, turning the whole building round. I was first in, and Berry called me into his office, explained that there was shit loads of work to be done etc, bla bla bla, work hard. I was like sound, cos im off at 1. Jamie didn’t turn up atall.. you know those early starts are a nightmare so why bother with it. Just rammed it all. Thought we were struggling to keep on course when Mr Berry shows up and starts powering through with us. I left at 1, but they seemed on course!Quickly got changed, shades et al, and jumped into the super bus. Headed to tesco at South Queensferry to pick up Steel/spend an hour shopping. Steel was black and blue from fighting/shagging the night before. I took the food trolley, and john took the booze trolley. Mine remained empty for a while, while the booze trolley overflowed, and the wheels buckled under the pressure. Class. No one was up for the sausages, but i fired them in. I had to. Got steaks and shit, plus a load of other crap. I was pioneering for bananas, but no one was game. After we took the stuff back to the car(the boot was proper full) we went in to get some lunch. I had already bought a sandwich for the journey. But i bought another one, except this was cheese. I also bought some strawberry and crème. But as i got out of tescos, dave asked me to hold his water. So i dropped my strawberry and crème, and they went all over the pavement...proper gutted. On the road finally, good banter. Some Killers, some other shit. Dunno really, well thats it eh. Dunno what else happens, but anyway, a few beers later, we’re at the cottage. A bit of target practise on discarded tenants cans. Took a drive up to feshie bridge, stripped down, and jumped off a really high rock into a freezing cold river. Why? Cos were idiots. It was fucking awesome! Dried off, and went back. Started a BBQ going. Considered how much money it would take before we pressed our hands on the BBQ. Quite a lot. A few burgers each did the trick. Dave got a shit hot fire going. In his spaced state of mind, it was quite an art, and he was quite an artist. Watched the football, and somehow, Capadoccia managed to triumph over whoever it was. Fucking shit hot. Dave fell asleep, so we jumped out the window, woke him up. He went to the kitchen to roll a J, and he couldn’t figure out how we had gotten back in. ‘Did you use the back door?’ theres no back door dave! ‘oh fuck’ haha class. Getting more and more pished, we headed up in search of some elk(is that right?deer or whatever). Mike was pished and wanted to go to the city, although he did find a natural coaster, which seemed to relax him.(it was a flat rock). We seen a hedgehog, so i got a photo next to him..a good lad he was. A while on, we cleared the forest, and sat down to look at the mountains..fucking awesome. So beautiful. John went rummaging in some heather for some reason.. he later discovered that he’d lost his knife, so he went back while we walked on. We then hid in the heather, and came very close to falling asleep. He didn’t see us so we had to shout him. Slept some more. After a while, we got off and headed home. Me dave and john the mountain warriors.. while mike and steel traipsed behind talking absolute shite. We hid in the bushes, and they had no idea where we were. Total stealthy cunts. Quite funny. Got back to the cottage, drank a bit of vodka, then went to bed..pretty early to be fair.Monday – got up, had a john made fry up.. not bad, burnt eggs but other than that was half decent. We then took a drive up to kingussie for some lunch preparations..maybe it was the fact that we hadn’t been in female contact for 24 hours, but the girls in costcutter were hot as fuck. We were gonna get them involved in an evening cottage party. No avail. We got some cool stuff, i finally got bananas! Got some bread, which i know swear by – Warburtons TOASTIE. And some ham and turkey, for sandwiches. Headed to HQ to prepare the sandwiches, also got some crisps, chocolate and ice cream. Went up somewhere and hired bikes, then rode them about the mountains for hours. It was awesome, loads of mad hills awesome scenery. Great fun. Stopped by a loch for some lunch. Dave almost convinced us to swim to the middle island.. in hindsight, im glad i didn’t – since my time in berlin shows im seriously out of practise at swimming. Went on cycling for a few more hours, cycling is awesome. After the mountains, we pelted it along a road for ages before making it back to the cycle center. Drove back to feshie bridge, and jumped in again – so refreshing, it was awesome. Back to the cottage. John took me out hunting for some rabbits. Had a few near misses, but the rabbits got the idea someone was after them. We also walked through a field of cows, making sure the lone bull didn’t get pissed off. It turned out that they were all bulls... and we were pretty close to pissing them off. Got back and watched the football, while Dave went off with John for round 2. They took fucking hours. And it turned out they’d been up in the mansion drinking fine wine. They got back and we were pretty pished. I’d made a fire, and dave is right, its an art! Good crack. Dave and john prepared steaks. Dave’s mushroom sauce was actually the best thing ever. Awesome tea. Straight after steaks, john fell asleep(on a giant aero bar as it turned out, so he woke up with it flattened). Wondered where steel was..he was listening to Megadeath in the toilet..haha good lad. I banished dave t outside while sugababes performed on tv . My faith is starting to waver in these girls. They say they’l play T. Cancel, and play Oxygen on the same weekend. Don’t invite me to their gig in Edinburgh castle. Fucking bitches. We spent fucking ages looking for the vodka, like looked EVERYWHERE! Turned out it was behind the hula hoops. Lol. Sat in my room drinking the vodka, i lost £10 to mike cos i didn’t believe Heidi used to be in Atomic Kitten. How?? Steel, who has obviously never talked to dave t about metal, got a proper rant started. It was a fucking nightmare. And then he started on St Anger. Fucking hell. Eventually got to sleep. Tuesday – Got up, did a proper tidy of the house. Got the fry up team on the go. I did sausages, mike did bacon, dave poached the eggs, steel..poured juics. There was beans, mushrooms, loads of shit. Im so glad i got the sausages. It was actually the perfect fry up!Properly tidied the cottage, vacated the premises. John went to drive the V12 mercedes..dick. Headed home. Via kingussie Costcutters.. so hot. Went to the Gyle for free burger king, it was ace. John bought a new phone cos the girl was hot. Steel lost his wallet...somehow. still cant figure it out. Got home and went straight to bed. It was an awesome end to an awesome weekend!