Hmm.. All this shit happened like 2(3) weeks ago, so forgive me if it’s not 100% accurate – I’m doing my best to remember what happened, but something tells me it shall not be easy.
Monday – No idea.. I was plagued by internet problems at the phone job, a real pain in the ass.. and theres no solution.. It will just randomly start working. I think I spent a lot of time on the phone to various support teams, trying to get it fixed.. but it just was not happening! I’m not 100% sure on this, but I probably went to bed pretty early, or went up to my folks or something.
Tuesday – Similar internet problems as well. I have no idea what happened for the rest of the day.. probably bed early. Watched the football i think. Or not.
Wednesday – Internet problems blab la... Gay as fuck. Mike phoned me up and was like can i come over to watch the football.. yeah. He then phoned me and was like can I come over now. ‘I have a story to tell you’. Well tell me a bit, and i’ll get the rest when you come over. ‘well.. I got kicked out my house’ ok, see you soon. He came over and it turned out he had been kicked out of his house for battering his dad. ‘warning shots’. Fucking crazy bastard. He chummed me into town to deposit some cheques, we went to McDonalds. Played some fifa, played some Smash Bros. I do not play that game enough. It is cracking. Sonic is a machine(a speed machine) He’s awesome. We got some pizza and watched the football. Actually I got a kebab. Picked up some beers from steels house, which mike then dropped all over the pavement and got them dirty and shit. A kind gentleman helped us pick them up. Devoured the kebab. Since the beers were dirty, we drank them in pint glasses. Major fucking head haha. Awesome. Twam and Camp brought a bottle of Captain Morgan’s over.(cos its got a fucking pirate on it. Btw, i don’t like pirates that much)I was going to get some limes, but I forgot/couldn’t be arsed. I don’t like drinking Rum without limes. Drank it anyway. Listened to some Katy Perry. Our plan had been to just drink that, for a cheap night in. Mike wanted to go out. We decided to go out. Craig came too. We got a taxi to the hive. Mike wanted to leave. ‘not happenin mate’ Got a drink from Jagerbird. Left. To be fair, it was dead. Went down to faith. Bumped into my sister and this weird manwoman. Looks like a girl. Bumped into Giselle and Sean in faith, Mikey was there too..pretty fucked. Within 5 mins of being there, mike said he was going out for a minute.. we never seen him again. Faith was pretty gash. Spent more money than planned, got quite drunk. I don’t like faith that much. Some guy was chatting Roisin up, Laura used a signal to see if she was alright. She misread the signal, so I went over and got this massive bouncer and told him the guy was harassing my friend. I then realised Laura had misread the signal. Told the bouncer I would take care of it and keep him in the loop. Craig got caught by the bouncer shagging some slag in the girls toilet. He didn’t throw him out, instead he told the barstaff who then started pointing and laughing at craig, who was then like ‘can we go now...’ Got a taxi home. Played some titanic music(probably quite loud..but not too loud..) woke nick up. Mike came in at some stage... fuck knows where he’d been. Crazy bastard. Roisin gave birth to me on craigs sofa bed, not sure what happened, but fell asleep.
Thursday – Spent some time in the morning feeling hungover. Roisin was going in to Uni to discuss a particularly bad essay with her tutor... she left the essay at mine. Oops. Me and Mike decided to go to pizza hut for the weekly feast(we are failing miserably). We didn’t go, got some rolls and made some bacon rolls. Mike didn’t eat any so i eat them(it was a struggle, I was fucking hungover). Played a bit of Fifa, a bit of Smash bros. I went to do some teaching. It was really strange.. all of a sudden the lad seems to have gotten great. I was telling him stuff for weeks that he just couldn’t seem to grasp.. and all of a sudden he seems to have got it. Good lad. Got back and I was going to this Born to be wide thing with Sam and stuff. He told me to head for his for 20 past 7. He actually meant 20 past 6. Therefore I was late. Every month I get an email about Born to Be Wide, it’s a meeting place for the Edinburgh music scene, they always have good people speaking and it looks really interesting – Every time, I get the email the night before! And I always have something planned! This was the first time I could make it. It was really cool, Carrie was there – Not seen her in an age. We both wished that we had brought a pen and paper, it was all really interesting stuff... I can barely remember a word of it now. Haha. However, I did have quite a serious revelation – I want to be a musician, it’s what I want to do with my life... I want to make a living working in the music industry. At this point in my life, I am putting almost no effort into this.. I’m focusing on paying the bills, I don’t have any energy to put into being a successful musician. This is not cool, and it’s time to change. Ultimately, I would love to play bass in a massive touring band – Like Christina Aguilera or something – Some awesome pop band. Time to turn things around. Waited on Carrie to get a bus, it was pissing with rain.. I decided to walk home anyway. Got fucking drenched, got a kebab, I was fucking freezing! Got home and put on my furry hat.. It keeps you so warm. Mike and Craig were up playing Guitar hero. I went to bed... mike crashed again. Sound..Casa del Crusher. B&B.
Friday – Covered a shift on the phone job – really quiet day.. very quiet indeed... I think I actually did this until 6. Quick bite to eat/game of fifa then off to biddys. I can’t really think what happened. I got talking to these 2 hot irish girls, Ciara and Nisha.I couldn’t remember their names at first..I just knew they sounded similar. When they came up later and asked if I could remember their names I said yes! I then called them Kisha and Nisha...not amused haha! Turns out they live at Biddys tho. The dj(who i’ve never seen before) played this epic song that basically goes ‘well i got home on Monday night, as drunk as drunk could be, I saw a horse outside my house where my old horse should be. So i called my wife and i said to her ‘will you kindly tell to me, who owns that horse outside my house where my old house should be’ oh your drunk, your drunk your really drunk.’ That continues through the week until Sunday. Its a fucking epic song. Was an OK night, but I was pretty shattered by the end of it! Straight to bed.
Saturday – Struggled out of bed for the old firm. Fucking pish. Fucking huns. Went to work.. I seriously struggle to remember what happened it was just that long ago... I’m sorry.. but.. go fuck yourself! I almost sold a girl a bottle of vodka for £60..almost. Aidan was texting me telling me how pished he was and how shit rush was. I got finished up, made about £10 tips.. Went to meet him at the hive, spent my tips pretty quickly. Carrie and Claire welsh were there. We did a jager bomb round.. but Claire told us she was allergic to red bull just before she downed it. She survived. Thankfully. They were all smashed. Aidan and Carrie mainly. Me and Claire started a pool. Swimming. I had a conversation with aidans mate about how I hate it when people come up to you and you don’t know their names. We also talked about football and stuff. Lucy and Krista appeared at some stage. We drank until 2.55(bearing in mind i never got there till about 2!) then me and Claire went for a dance to 500 miles. End of the night. Decided we should make a trip back to the flat. Claire asked the barman(not usual..but looked slightly similar. Jagerbird did not serve us – shock!-) if we could buy a bottle of lemonade off him.... Eh no. I managed to get everyone outside the hive(well me, and aidan to a slight degree) singing the 7 drunken days song! Awesome. Me and Aij started walking and talking about how Celtic should re-sign Henrik. The girls were dying on the toilet, we sent them up an alley... While they did that, I noticed that ppl were still in biddys(must have been 330 or4!) So I went to investigate. Basically everyone was there, just having finished their post work drink...I probably just talked a bit of shite, then left. We then tried to find a taxi(if I had been thinking straight we could have phoned my staff taxi). Took us absolutely ages, and it was not happening. Carrie phoned a company and started crying saying ‘I’m on my own, I don’t know how to get home.. I’m scared’... They then said they would send one right away(point of interest, if you ever want a taxi, just say that you are a scared girl and think you might get raped). No more than 3 minutes later, she phoned the taxi company back being like ‘eh hello, i ordered a fucking taxi and it’s not fucking here yet, what the fuck are you playing at?’ the girl on the phone replied ‘ you only ordered it 3 minutes ago, you need to give it time to arrive’ at which Carrie hung up. Pretty funny. Some old boy sitting there ended up giving us a lift home(he was a taxi driver). Oh yeah...all this time we were singing Papapapapapoker face, and poking each other in the face. Got back to the flat, listened to 7 drunken nights(i had to prove to them that it was a real song) and we then listened to lady gaga’s album. Which, is fucking pretty good btw. We went to the kitchen and drank some of craigs vodka(tried to write a thankyou note, but in the end it did not work). Carrie knocked so much shit about the kitchen/living room, I’m not quite sure how she managed it. Quite funny actually. So funny. Nick got up (and apparently had time to put jeans on, although I believe they were frog trousers). He was not chuffed. Neither was i, so I ignored him. Claire was cold so I offered her my duvet.. I then realised that I would be freezing, so i slept on the green couch with her...unfortunately, that couch(as anyone who has slept on it knows...) does not fit an average sized human being, let alone 1 and a girl. So i did not have much sleep at all. I cant even remember what the chat was.
Sunday – The girls got a taxi pretty early(like really early) I cannot fathom how early this was. Literally like 5 mins after they left, my nose started bleeding. Fuck. Eventually stopped it. It started bleeding again at 11.50. It was my dads birthday and I was meant to be meeting the family for brunch at 12. Fucksake. Why do my nosebleeds also happen at moments of such inconvenience!(or maybe ANY time for a nosebleed is inconvenient. This time it didn’t stop for like over an hour. It was fucking crazy. I hate nosebleeds. I phoned up biddys to say that I might not make it in that night. Just to give them the heads up. I slept for a bit, then decided my nose would probably hold up.(maybe just) Just as I was gonna phone andy, he called me to say it was fine, they had covered the shift. Cool. So i went up to my folks, gave my dad his crap birthday present(which, it turns out is actually pretty cool..and anyway...I got him something else in the future!)We had pizza... to compensate for me missing brunch...still gutted I missed that! Nice bath and early to bed. If i had worked at Biddys, my nose probably would have bled.
Next Week – Bear in mind... at the time of writing ‘next week’, is actually at the very least 2 weeks ago. Gig at Sneaky petes with the marvels, Going back into the EICC(did i do that last week?) and covering a shift in the links on Sunday! Sounds boring... but it was actually quite a fun week. I’m hoping to get the blog out on WWW(world wide web..or World War Water)in the next couple of days! Apologies again for the delay!
Tuesday 26 May 2009
Monday 11 May 2009
HEY! Your Messing With My Delirium!
I put my budget into full force this week – And it worked pretty well, I only bought 1 pint, and no kebabs. The only money I spent was on food.
Monday – Struggled to get out of bed after work the night before, Supposed to be doing the reception job 12-6, but my internet wasn’t working so I spent the first 2/3 hours trying to fix my internet. Funny thing being that the phone was working, but the internet wasn’t – they both use the same connection to work. It didn’t make any sense, but it was a real pain in the ass. The thing about it is, if I can’t get on the internet then I can’t work, and because I get paid by the amount of work I do, I make less money.. Even though I’m still putting time and effort into getting my connection working. As well as this, It’s a pain for my employers because if I can’t get on the Internet then I can’t work, and that put’s a strain on them which they don’t want, that’s why the employed me. Ha, that last few sentences was just a jumble of rambling. At some point the internet started working again(completely randomly-theres no actual solution) and I worked for a while. Finished at 6, made myself some tea – Pasta I believe(how exciting). Gig with Arcane Corps – I ran down to henrys after my pasta, listening to some tunes on my ipod(which I really need to update – I’ve not put any new music on it since like November or something stupid like that. As awesome as my music taste was back then, I’m getting bored. I needed a poo poo on my way, I got there and we were soundchecking right at that moment. Mysteriously, I didn’t need a poo poo anymore. Maybe some scientist people can do some experiments to discover the difference between what we actually “need” and what we want. Infact, I was meaning to speak to John about this for some reason.. I cant remember why. I’m starting to believe that some people are actually Superman, and when I say ‘someone’ I actually mean everyone in the world. If we “need” to do something, be it suppressing a poo for that vital soundcheck; outrunning someone who’s trying to kick your cunt in; or lifting a fat bastard out of a burning building... then we can actually do it. I realise that I kind shifted my angle a bit there, and I’m not really sure why I went into that..but there you go.
After soundcheck we went to Footlights to get some food for the guys(I had already eaten and I am on a budget so I got some crisps), they got burgers and steak pie and shit. The food looked alright. The place was absolutely dead, Like we were the only folk in there. The bar girl was pretty hot and had a bit of banter(i.e. ‘we’ve only got salt and vinegar crisps’). Back to Henrys where the first band was just starting. Oh my god. I cannot remember when I have been less impressed by a band. It literally slowed my heartrate down. I don’t even know how to describe it. Very very slow metal(i think its called doom) They don’t change chords, the singer does nothing but growl very slowly in a very deep voice(almost like the wind, but very boring and absolutely shit). They played 3 songs in a 45 minute set. Each of them sounded exactly the same. I’m a fan of metal, but I just can’t see how people can like that. We were on next – I must admit, I have been really bad – I’ve been working so much and I’ve not really made the effort to get down to the studio to contribute to the recordings. We had a practise earlier in the day – but I was working so I didn’t make it down. As such, my performance was fairly sloppy(sorry dave!) It didn’t help that they had changed parts of the songs without telling me!(my fault really I guess). The biggest shock of the set was when Chris announced “Down On My Knees!”. We haven’t played that since November..literally. I spent the first few bars thinking frantically ‘how does this go???’ I got it tho!(except for the parts they had changed) After the gig me and andy went up to meet mick at chanter where he was doing the pub quiz on his own. We were going on the radio in the morning and so wanted to have a little team talk to see what we would talk about. I bought my 1 pint of the week. It went down fucking well, I was so tempted for another, but i resisted. By the way, does anyone wanna assemble a team for the chanter pub quiz? The few questions I stayed in for were a piece of piss. I went back to watch the last band(because they were from Greece and had no friends). It was absolutely pissing it down by this stage. I caught the end of the band after ours set. Just as fucking awful to me. Two twin brothers, dressed up like the devil playing speed metal..nothing but drums and guitars. Sounds pretty cool? Not for 45 minutes. Am I too harsh on bands? Call me old fashioned, but I like my bands to play songs with singing...not just a guitar riff/solo for 45 minutes. Stupid. I’m even gonna spell that stoopid. I watched a bit of the greek band, who were pretty cool. Their bass player looked like he was doing a lot of mental stuff(tapping etc) but you couldn’t really hear it.. Again.....I am very harsh on bands.. these guys were fucking awesome at what they were doing...It was really cool! But I was like whatever..boring. Nothing interesting there. I’m such a dick. I left halfway through there set(oh btw, their bassist was a fucking geek. A greek geek haha). Walked home in the pouring rain, got home, had some supernoodles and went to bed.
Tuesday – Woke up early to go and be on the radio, Although while I lay in bed, I realised that I didn’t have enough time to go to Leith, be on the radio, come back and start work all before 12 o clock. I stupidly decided not to go. Anyway, I think 3 people doing the same radio interview is a bit much. It just gets a bit crowded. Still.. It would have been cool to be on the radio. Turns out I would have had enough time anyway. I listened in to the guys – it was pretty cool – although for whatever reason they just lied loads! “we’ve got our CD in ripping records””we did a massive charity gig last month” “we are actually Coldplay, we just put on wigs”. Went to start work and guess what.... the internet wasn’t working again! This time the net was working fine.. the phone would not work! I spent a good hour on a help line, and as nice as the woman was.. she did not help me! Eventually.. After 2 and a half hours.. It started working(again..no explanation whatsoever). So again, this is cutting quite severely into my earnings you know! A load of gash. I ran out of energy after this. I was gonna go to Lina’s to watch the football.. I was also gonna go and meet up with Twamcamallidomcot and go to the hive. In the end I was so tired I decided to watch the football in the flat. This means carrying through my tv from the bedroom to the living room. I spent the first half of the game summoning up the energy(while lying in my bed) to do this. Watched the last 30 mins.. a bit dull. I then watched a seriously shit/brilliant film on some strange channel(no not porn). A teenager(who looks like Tom Cruise gets transferred to a school at some creek. But all the kids there have been brainwashed and are like ‘hello steven’ and then they kick his cunt in. Theres only 3 people who haven’t been brainwashed – Tom Cruise, hot goth girl(turns out it was Katie holmes..maybe) and token stoner. Also theres the ‘janitor’ who all the kids call him a retard and spit on him, but in the end he manages to get all the kids to jump on his car while he drives them into a waterfall(while shouting “HEY TEACHER, LEAVE THEM KIDS ALONE!”..Great and slightly random reference to Pink Floyd).Thats the end of the film. I went to bed not too long after that.
Wednesday – Got up(struggled slightly). Craig had been out the night before, and I heard a girls voice from his room. Hello. Turns out it was just Roisin. phone job 12-3 – The first time this week my internet was working without a hitch! Fucking amazing. Finished the shift, I then spent a fair amount of time playing a league in FIFA. Italian League, I was Juventus – I swear to god I lost every game 1-0. Fucking shit, yet so addictive. Eventually(a lot later than I had been planning) I went up to my folks. I was kindof banking on being offered a Chinese, so when I got there and my mum was like ‘you can have pizza or pasta or a chicken burger’ I kindof ignored the question for a while. I was just getting ready to concede and have some pasta when my dad came in and was like ‘I can get a Chinese if you want?’ Score. Felicity phoned it, she phoned some crap place and it was a very average Chinese! Still a Chinese nonetheless. I watched some Simpsons then had a bath. I was going to watch the football but at 7.30 I realised my parents don’t have sky sports, so I watched some crap programme about kids going to Jamiaca to have their cunt kicked in by a strict mum. After coming down from my bath I was gonna watch some TV, but felicity was watching Desperate Housewifes(even though she has a TV in her room) so I had some food and went to bed. Asleep by 1030, barry as fuck.
Thursday – Woke up having had an epic sleep. My dad did me a fry up which was pretty good. I then walked up to tesco’s, did a bit of a shop. I bought nothing but rubbish really. Doesn’t matter. Went and did some teaching. Came back and played a bit too much fifa. Went to bed, read like a page of my book then fell asleep.
Friday – Covered a shift at the office job during the day. Well, until 3. Around this time I discovered I couldn’t find my phone charger. Where is it? I phoned my dad to see if I had left it there. “No definitely not, without a doubt it’s not here”..ok.. where the fuck is it then!! I went to Biddys for 7. John gave me my watch back! Wahey. Got my break about 845. Just as I was about to sit down and start eating, Andy tells me I’m going to the links and my taxis outside. Cool.. but I’m eating my food first! Had my Bacon and Cheese burger. It was pretty good. Damn good. Went out and the taxi driver moaned about everything the whole way. Basically it was my fault. Everything was my fault. He moaned about the fact he had been waiting there for 20 mins. Not my fault. He moaned that people didn’t realise cars could drive down the cobbles in the grass market. Not My fault. He moaned that I didn’t have a slip. Not my fault. He was just a moany fucking bastard. Went into the Links expecting it to be heaving. Fairly quiet actually. I think they were just short staffed. The links has some crazy assed taps for Caledonian – It was like having a shower. There was karaoke going on. If Aidan fails to be a doctor, he can always run karaoke nights. Sounds like fun. These two guys did ‘Don’t let the sun go down on me’(Elton John, George Michael).. A fucking good version of it! Harmonies and everything.. They had obviously practised. Back to Biddys about 1130. Around this time my phone died.. Just after getting a text from Roisin saying they were in opium. Mike came in to visit me in Biddys, He ordered a pint of Guiness.. in all the years I’ve known him, I have never known him to drink Guiness. He was pretty fucked to be fair. Some bird gave me £5 for being cute. Good girl. It’s kindof hit or miss with the tips really.. either make about £10 or 30p. Good night though. It was broken up quite nicely considering I was moving about every 2 hours. Although because of this, I did hear alot of songs twice. I decided to spend my tips at Opium. Hayden and Kenny were there, Hayden showed me that he had a girls stockings on his arm. Mike and Steel and Lad were there too. According to Steel it was ‘Hoaching with fanny’ upstairs.. It was alright.. although I wouldn’t say hoaching. Dave T was there, and he spent about 30 minutes trying to get served. Funny. Rachael now works on the bar! Roisin, Laura, Kim, Max, Liam, Henderson were there too. So was Leanne Rimes and her friend who likes Frightened Rabbit. So, considering it’s opium.. There was a fair crew there. Quite impressed by it actually. Hazel showed up at some stage too! I spent all my tips on vodka, we then went for a bit of a dance. Danced to a bruce springsteen song. Or maybe it was a guy who is very similar to him... I can’t remember what the song was. It’s a tune tho. Kindof like dancing on the ceiling(except not by lionel Ritchie). It looks like the barman I don’t like very much has been turned into a superstar dj. Congratulations. Sincerely. We decided there was a party happening at Polwarth. Whether it be my place or steels, so we headed that way. I gave Leanne a very fast lift through the grassmarket. Full speed ahead. We lost Dave T, and the girls on the way across. Mike went home cos he was totally fucked. Leanne and her friend decided to go home. Steel was cheesing cos he ‘beat’ mike, held that girls hand and kissed her on the cheek. Me and steel lost everyone and started walking back to his. We met two people who were mates of his, and we walked back to steels. We did take a fair amount of time, and my phone was dead. We got back to steels, went into the kitchen – sitting in a nice line was Dave, Roisin, Laura and Kim and Liam. How the fuck did you get here! Turns out ben had let them in. Mike gave them directions(they thought he was there already) They rang the buzzer, thinking it was mike. They asked ‘can we come in?’ Ben was like yeah sound, no problem. Me and steel pissed ourselves at that. One of his mates shared round some beer. And everyone smoked some weed. I didn’t. We danced about till 7am, then went back to mine. My bed was full. Liam went off to get some crazy train to Aberdeen.
Saturday - Seriously didn’t get that much sleep. We went to the meadows at like 11! Got a Wrap from the Wrap shop. It was damn good. I walked back to the flat for about 1230 to watch the football. Celtic fairly hammered Aberdeen. Totally addicted to FIFA, I played a couple of games then went to work for 5. The Rugby was on. Leinster vs Munster. I couldn’t give a shit. There was a lot of people who could however, and thus the place was fucking heaving. One of the teams fucking humped the other one. After that alot of people left. The DJ started right after the game(probably about 7 oclock as apposed to the usual 10 o clock. Because of this, throughout the night Poker Face and La Roux were probably played about 6 or 7 times haha. To be honest, if I was a DJ i would probably to this too. Except there would be a lot of Sinead o Connor mixed in there aswell. I discovered that Delirium is a tune. HEY! You’re messing with My Delirium! It was an alright night. I had a breakfast for my tea. STRANGE. The place was pretty dead(not actually dead..but considering it was a Saturday night...)I went to the toilet(disabled one was engaged so i went to the boys). It looked as if 2 guys in there were maybe fighting. I kept my eye on it. Thing is, I think one of them was just being a dick. He was dressed in a suit, and after the other boy left he just stood looking into the mirror, flicking bits of water into his hair and muttering ‘you look amazing’. I watched him with disgust, then walked out. I told john about it. He made me laugh, but I can’t utter why because John will probably lose his job. It was so fucking funny though. Good lad. The night finished, and we got away pretty quick. I went straight to my bed.(I may have played fifa first)
Sunday – I slept during the day – Fucking great!! Got up, went to farmfoods with craig(bought a lot of crap) I then watched the second half of the huns. Fucking huns. I think I started work at 6 or something. It was pretty quiet. Or should I say totally dead. No worry. Me and Ralph cleaned up the keg room. After I had done the outside furniture, I came back in and it became fucking heaving. Like properly heaving. At least as busy as Saturday – except we had half the staff on. I basically spent the whole shift washing glasses. It was fucking great. I decided to start wearing earplugs when working on the back bar – because it’s so fucking loud! Worked a treat, and I could still hear what people wanted to drink! I was fucking knackered/and a bit wet. Straight to bed!!!!
Monday – Struggled to get out of bed after work the night before, Supposed to be doing the reception job 12-6, but my internet wasn’t working so I spent the first 2/3 hours trying to fix my internet. Funny thing being that the phone was working, but the internet wasn’t – they both use the same connection to work. It didn’t make any sense, but it was a real pain in the ass. The thing about it is, if I can’t get on the internet then I can’t work, and because I get paid by the amount of work I do, I make less money.. Even though I’m still putting time and effort into getting my connection working. As well as this, It’s a pain for my employers because if I can’t get on the Internet then I can’t work, and that put’s a strain on them which they don’t want, that’s why the employed me. Ha, that last few sentences was just a jumble of rambling. At some point the internet started working again(completely randomly-theres no actual solution) and I worked for a while. Finished at 6, made myself some tea – Pasta I believe(how exciting). Gig with Arcane Corps – I ran down to henrys after my pasta, listening to some tunes on my ipod(which I really need to update – I’ve not put any new music on it since like November or something stupid like that. As awesome as my music taste was back then, I’m getting bored. I needed a poo poo on my way, I got there and we were soundchecking right at that moment. Mysteriously, I didn’t need a poo poo anymore. Maybe some scientist people can do some experiments to discover the difference between what we actually “need” and what we want. Infact, I was meaning to speak to John about this for some reason.. I cant remember why. I’m starting to believe that some people are actually Superman, and when I say ‘someone’ I actually mean everyone in the world. If we “need” to do something, be it suppressing a poo for that vital soundcheck; outrunning someone who’s trying to kick your cunt in; or lifting a fat bastard out of a burning building... then we can actually do it. I realise that I kind shifted my angle a bit there, and I’m not really sure why I went into that..but there you go.
After soundcheck we went to Footlights to get some food for the guys(I had already eaten and I am on a budget so I got some crisps), they got burgers and steak pie and shit. The food looked alright. The place was absolutely dead, Like we were the only folk in there. The bar girl was pretty hot and had a bit of banter(i.e. ‘we’ve only got salt and vinegar crisps’). Back to Henrys where the first band was just starting. Oh my god. I cannot remember when I have been less impressed by a band. It literally slowed my heartrate down. I don’t even know how to describe it. Very very slow metal(i think its called doom) They don’t change chords, the singer does nothing but growl very slowly in a very deep voice(almost like the wind, but very boring and absolutely shit). They played 3 songs in a 45 minute set. Each of them sounded exactly the same. I’m a fan of metal, but I just can’t see how people can like that. We were on next – I must admit, I have been really bad – I’ve been working so much and I’ve not really made the effort to get down to the studio to contribute to the recordings. We had a practise earlier in the day – but I was working so I didn’t make it down. As such, my performance was fairly sloppy(sorry dave!) It didn’t help that they had changed parts of the songs without telling me!(my fault really I guess). The biggest shock of the set was when Chris announced “Down On My Knees!”. We haven’t played that since November..literally. I spent the first few bars thinking frantically ‘how does this go???’ I got it tho!(except for the parts they had changed) After the gig me and andy went up to meet mick at chanter where he was doing the pub quiz on his own. We were going on the radio in the morning and so wanted to have a little team talk to see what we would talk about. I bought my 1 pint of the week. It went down fucking well, I was so tempted for another, but i resisted. By the way, does anyone wanna assemble a team for the chanter pub quiz? The few questions I stayed in for were a piece of piss. I went back to watch the last band(because they were from Greece and had no friends). It was absolutely pissing it down by this stage. I caught the end of the band after ours set. Just as fucking awful to me. Two twin brothers, dressed up like the devil playing speed metal..nothing but drums and guitars. Sounds pretty cool? Not for 45 minutes. Am I too harsh on bands? Call me old fashioned, but I like my bands to play songs with singing...not just a guitar riff/solo for 45 minutes. Stupid. I’m even gonna spell that stoopid. I watched a bit of the greek band, who were pretty cool. Their bass player looked like he was doing a lot of mental stuff(tapping etc) but you couldn’t really hear it.. Again.....I am very harsh on bands.. these guys were fucking awesome at what they were doing...It was really cool! But I was like whatever..boring. Nothing interesting there. I’m such a dick. I left halfway through there set(oh btw, their bassist was a fucking geek. A greek geek haha). Walked home in the pouring rain, got home, had some supernoodles and went to bed.
Tuesday – Woke up early to go and be on the radio, Although while I lay in bed, I realised that I didn’t have enough time to go to Leith, be on the radio, come back and start work all before 12 o clock. I stupidly decided not to go. Anyway, I think 3 people doing the same radio interview is a bit much. It just gets a bit crowded. Still.. It would have been cool to be on the radio. Turns out I would have had enough time anyway. I listened in to the guys – it was pretty cool – although for whatever reason they just lied loads! “we’ve got our CD in ripping records””we did a massive charity gig last month” “we are actually Coldplay, we just put on wigs”. Went to start work and guess what.... the internet wasn’t working again! This time the net was working fine.. the phone would not work! I spent a good hour on a help line, and as nice as the woman was.. she did not help me! Eventually.. After 2 and a half hours.. It started working(again..no explanation whatsoever). So again, this is cutting quite severely into my earnings you know! A load of gash. I ran out of energy after this. I was gonna go to Lina’s to watch the football.. I was also gonna go and meet up with Twamcamallidomcot and go to the hive. In the end I was so tired I decided to watch the football in the flat. This means carrying through my tv from the bedroom to the living room. I spent the first half of the game summoning up the energy(while lying in my bed) to do this. Watched the last 30 mins.. a bit dull. I then watched a seriously shit/brilliant film on some strange channel(no not porn). A teenager(who looks like Tom Cruise gets transferred to a school at some creek. But all the kids there have been brainwashed and are like ‘hello steven’ and then they kick his cunt in. Theres only 3 people who haven’t been brainwashed – Tom Cruise, hot goth girl(turns out it was Katie holmes..maybe) and token stoner. Also theres the ‘janitor’ who all the kids call him a retard and spit on him, but in the end he manages to get all the kids to jump on his car while he drives them into a waterfall(while shouting “HEY TEACHER, LEAVE THEM KIDS ALONE!”..Great and slightly random reference to Pink Floyd).Thats the end of the film. I went to bed not too long after that.
Wednesday – Got up(struggled slightly). Craig had been out the night before, and I heard a girls voice from his room. Hello. Turns out it was just Roisin. phone job 12-3 – The first time this week my internet was working without a hitch! Fucking amazing. Finished the shift, I then spent a fair amount of time playing a league in FIFA. Italian League, I was Juventus – I swear to god I lost every game 1-0. Fucking shit, yet so addictive. Eventually(a lot later than I had been planning) I went up to my folks. I was kindof banking on being offered a Chinese, so when I got there and my mum was like ‘you can have pizza or pasta or a chicken burger’ I kindof ignored the question for a while. I was just getting ready to concede and have some pasta when my dad came in and was like ‘I can get a Chinese if you want?’ Score. Felicity phoned it, she phoned some crap place and it was a very average Chinese! Still a Chinese nonetheless. I watched some Simpsons then had a bath. I was going to watch the football but at 7.30 I realised my parents don’t have sky sports, so I watched some crap programme about kids going to Jamiaca to have their cunt kicked in by a strict mum. After coming down from my bath I was gonna watch some TV, but felicity was watching Desperate Housewifes(even though she has a TV in her room) so I had some food and went to bed. Asleep by 1030, barry as fuck.
Thursday – Woke up having had an epic sleep. My dad did me a fry up which was pretty good. I then walked up to tesco’s, did a bit of a shop. I bought nothing but rubbish really. Doesn’t matter. Went and did some teaching. Came back and played a bit too much fifa. Went to bed, read like a page of my book then fell asleep.
Friday – Covered a shift at the office job during the day. Well, until 3. Around this time I discovered I couldn’t find my phone charger. Where is it? I phoned my dad to see if I had left it there. “No definitely not, without a doubt it’s not here”..ok.. where the fuck is it then!! I went to Biddys for 7. John gave me my watch back! Wahey. Got my break about 845. Just as I was about to sit down and start eating, Andy tells me I’m going to the links and my taxis outside. Cool.. but I’m eating my food first! Had my Bacon and Cheese burger. It was pretty good. Damn good. Went out and the taxi driver moaned about everything the whole way. Basically it was my fault. Everything was my fault. He moaned about the fact he had been waiting there for 20 mins. Not my fault. He moaned that people didn’t realise cars could drive down the cobbles in the grass market. Not My fault. He moaned that I didn’t have a slip. Not my fault. He was just a moany fucking bastard. Went into the Links expecting it to be heaving. Fairly quiet actually. I think they were just short staffed. The links has some crazy assed taps for Caledonian – It was like having a shower. There was karaoke going on. If Aidan fails to be a doctor, he can always run karaoke nights. Sounds like fun. These two guys did ‘Don’t let the sun go down on me’(Elton John, George Michael).. A fucking good version of it! Harmonies and everything.. They had obviously practised. Back to Biddys about 1130. Around this time my phone died.. Just after getting a text from Roisin saying they were in opium. Mike came in to visit me in Biddys, He ordered a pint of Guiness.. in all the years I’ve known him, I have never known him to drink Guiness. He was pretty fucked to be fair. Some bird gave me £5 for being cute. Good girl. It’s kindof hit or miss with the tips really.. either make about £10 or 30p. Good night though. It was broken up quite nicely considering I was moving about every 2 hours. Although because of this, I did hear alot of songs twice. I decided to spend my tips at Opium. Hayden and Kenny were there, Hayden showed me that he had a girls stockings on his arm. Mike and Steel and Lad were there too. According to Steel it was ‘Hoaching with fanny’ upstairs.. It was alright.. although I wouldn’t say hoaching. Dave T was there, and he spent about 30 minutes trying to get served. Funny. Rachael now works on the bar! Roisin, Laura, Kim, Max, Liam, Henderson were there too. So was Leanne Rimes and her friend who likes Frightened Rabbit. So, considering it’s opium.. There was a fair crew there. Quite impressed by it actually. Hazel showed up at some stage too! I spent all my tips on vodka, we then went for a bit of a dance. Danced to a bruce springsteen song. Or maybe it was a guy who is very similar to him... I can’t remember what the song was. It’s a tune tho. Kindof like dancing on the ceiling(except not by lionel Ritchie). It looks like the barman I don’t like very much has been turned into a superstar dj. Congratulations. Sincerely. We decided there was a party happening at Polwarth. Whether it be my place or steels, so we headed that way. I gave Leanne a very fast lift through the grassmarket. Full speed ahead. We lost Dave T, and the girls on the way across. Mike went home cos he was totally fucked. Leanne and her friend decided to go home. Steel was cheesing cos he ‘beat’ mike, held that girls hand and kissed her on the cheek. Me and steel lost everyone and started walking back to his. We met two people who were mates of his, and we walked back to steels. We did take a fair amount of time, and my phone was dead. We got back to steels, went into the kitchen – sitting in a nice line was Dave, Roisin, Laura and Kim and Liam. How the fuck did you get here! Turns out ben had let them in. Mike gave them directions(they thought he was there already) They rang the buzzer, thinking it was mike. They asked ‘can we come in?’ Ben was like yeah sound, no problem. Me and steel pissed ourselves at that. One of his mates shared round some beer. And everyone smoked some weed. I didn’t. We danced about till 7am, then went back to mine. My bed was full. Liam went off to get some crazy train to Aberdeen.
Saturday - Seriously didn’t get that much sleep. We went to the meadows at like 11! Got a Wrap from the Wrap shop. It was damn good. I walked back to the flat for about 1230 to watch the football. Celtic fairly hammered Aberdeen. Totally addicted to FIFA, I played a couple of games then went to work for 5. The Rugby was on. Leinster vs Munster. I couldn’t give a shit. There was a lot of people who could however, and thus the place was fucking heaving. One of the teams fucking humped the other one. After that alot of people left. The DJ started right after the game(probably about 7 oclock as apposed to the usual 10 o clock. Because of this, throughout the night Poker Face and La Roux were probably played about 6 or 7 times haha. To be honest, if I was a DJ i would probably to this too. Except there would be a lot of Sinead o Connor mixed in there aswell. I discovered that Delirium is a tune. HEY! You’re messing with My Delirium! It was an alright night. I had a breakfast for my tea. STRANGE. The place was pretty dead(not actually dead..but considering it was a Saturday night...)I went to the toilet(disabled one was engaged so i went to the boys). It looked as if 2 guys in there were maybe fighting. I kept my eye on it. Thing is, I think one of them was just being a dick. He was dressed in a suit, and after the other boy left he just stood looking into the mirror, flicking bits of water into his hair and muttering ‘you look amazing’. I watched him with disgust, then walked out. I told john about it. He made me laugh, but I can’t utter why because John will probably lose his job. It was so fucking funny though. Good lad. The night finished, and we got away pretty quick. I went straight to my bed.(I may have played fifa first)
Sunday – I slept during the day – Fucking great!! Got up, went to farmfoods with craig(bought a lot of crap) I then watched the second half of the huns. Fucking huns. I think I started work at 6 or something. It was pretty quiet. Or should I say totally dead. No worry. Me and Ralph cleaned up the keg room. After I had done the outside furniture, I came back in and it became fucking heaving. Like properly heaving. At least as busy as Saturday – except we had half the staff on. I basically spent the whole shift washing glasses. It was fucking great. I decided to start wearing earplugs when working on the back bar – because it’s so fucking loud! Worked a treat, and I could still hear what people wanted to drink! I was fucking knackered/and a bit wet. Straight to bed!!!!
Friday 1 May 2009
I love college..But I love Drinking..
A good start to the week – Just got pretty messed up, Thursday I started my budget period – which will last until the 5th of June. Hopefully by then I will have saved up enough cash to fund my trip to spain.
Monday – Got up about 1130. Had some breakfast(no milk so not a very good breakfast..more like a banana or spaghetti or something). Phone job 12-6. All good, starting to get the hang of it I reckon..I just hope it gives me some money for doing it. Finished at 6, quick shower and off to the Biddy’s staff night out. On leaving the flat, I realised that I couldn’t walk because I was so stiff from Paintballing the day before! I bought a packet of Mcoy’s and a Milky bar kid bar for my tea. Probably not the best idea. San Miguel and Vodka mixer’s were free while we were at Biddy’s. Got there pretty much bang on 7, I figured just drink San Miguel(albeit quickly) while we were there. By 7.40.. everyone was drinking double vodka kick’s(cheap red bull). Ah fuck it! I think that may be the earliest I have ever drunk vodka in that quantity. Must have had about 3 doubles by the time we left. We were doing some sort of treasure hunt or something.. for starters we had to make a poster with our team name on it. I cant remember what it was, but our poster was fucking ace! It had boobs! We had Me, Sean(girl), Shaun(Boy), Kate and Jenni on our team. Next step was to swap clothes with a member of the opposite sex in our team. Thus I spent most of the night wearing a girls blouse. Our team was shit. We took ages to go anywhere or decide on anything! Still we had fun. Singing ‘I’m a little Tea Pot short and stout, Here is my handle here is my spout’ How does the rest of the song go? I was convinced it was “Incey Wincey spider dad a dad a dada.” Apparently not though. I’ve still to really see photos from the night.. but a LOT were taken. We went into Oz bar and had to get a kiss off a girl.. unfortunately the girl I picked had already been asked by the 8 other teams! All the teams ended up in three sisters and this is where things get pretty hazy! Swapped back clothes with Kate and then just drank loadsof vodka. Me and Kim(apparently) thought that they would give us the doubles in wee tiny glasses(like in the hive), so we bought 2 at a time and they came in big massive things. This is what I’m told.. I’m not too sure what was going on. There was some kind of awards ceremony in the courtyard, then I vaguely remember getting in a taxi, but that’s about it.
Tuesday – Woke up properly fucked, covered in so many bruises that I could barely walk. Like I had a limp for 3 days. I had a massive bruise on my hip, bruise’s on both my elbows and bruises on the palms of my hands. What the hell happened. I got a text from Sean later being like ‘You got carried out of Lulu, you are my hero’. I was in Lulu?? Apparently we all went to Lulu, and one after the other we all got chucked out. I don’t remember any of this, but it’s all good. I just wish I knew where these bruises came from! Went over to Santans and bought a Haggis Pizza, Chocolate Buttons yoghurt and a bottle of orange juice(even though i had orange juice in the flat already). Cooked my pizza and started working at the phones. Quite hungover.. I went down to Pizza Corner, John met me there. I got a doner, he got a chicken. Pretty tasty stuff. Went up to the flat and played a bit of guitar hero. We were planning to be at sam’s by about 730. We left the flat at maybe 830/840. John somehow convinced me to go to Chloes. John managed to doorknob me a fucker. The bad thing is that he went easy on me.. in my crippled state I was in no condition to push past him to a doorknow(which btw, chloe has none of). Stayed there for half an hour then made a move to Sam’s. Stopped off at Scotmid for a couple tins of Tyskie and a bottle of wine. Got to Sam’s door and there was some girl there. We were like ‘you going to Sam’s?’ she said yeah. John introduced himself and she was like ‘I’m amy’. But she completely ignored me, so I went ‘Yeah, and I’m Crusher’. She was like “yeah.. I know you”. Where from? When from? “Well, for one thing.. You got chucked out of Luluz last night! And the other, I went out with John McGee 4 years ago.” Turns out she had been working on the cash desk in Lulu. Apparently I hadn’t been carried out. She saw me just kindof standing there in a daze, not really moving, and then the bouncer just kindof guided me out. It still doesn’t explain the bruising! So we went up and got to Sam’s door. She was like ‘this isn’t where Sam lives’..yes it is.. ‘no..’ yes.. wait, is Sam a boy or a girl ‘a girl!’ oh.. different Sam!. So she went upstairs, and we went in to the real Sam’s flat. We were greeted by Jo singing me my drunken song “I went to the doctors guess what he told me? He said ‘girl you gotta try and have fun no matter what you do’.. He’s a fool!” Went into Stalk’s room and the whole of the 1f1 boys were KO’d on his bed, Liam was getting in his dressing gown just about to go to sleep. Went through to the kitchen and there was this fucking weird boy sitting on a stool playing guitar, singing in falsetto... damn did he love college. Noone knew who he was or spoke to him. Oh, did I mention it was Sam’s birthday – everyone had been in the meadows drinking/smoking since 1030am.. hence was absolutely cunted. Amy and the girl Sam came down after a couple of minutes.. turns out they were Sam’s hot neighbours. Steel was absolutely baked, so I talked with him about bass for like 40 minutes. What do I think of him as a player, what does he think of me, what do we think of other people, what other people do we hate, isn’t bass the best instrument, having so many jobs stops me from progressing with me instrument. Etcetc. We’ve had this conversation a million times. I love drinking..and i love girls.. but damn do we love college. John had worked his way through the second bottle of wine, and thus started putting people in headlocks. I had only brought 2 cans with me, and so I ran out pretty quick. John took an absolute stinker of a shite which meant no one could go in to the toilet. I waited a few minutes then went in brandishing an incense candle which cancelled out the poo. Everyone in the flat sang Sinead ‘O’ connor for a while, before moving onto the fact that we all love college, drinking and girls. Daisy arrived at some stage. We planned to go to the hive, and we did. Everyone was wanting to walk.. It would have literally taken me an hour to walk to the hive, so i jumped in a taxi with the girls. Caitlin forgot everything, so girl Sam lent her money. Got into the hive, some guy started chanting at me in the toilet.. weird. Went round and had a jagerbomb with the girls. There goes me taking it easy right out of the window. The rest of the walking crew arrived. More jager. Ramage was there, spoke with him for a bit. The legend of a barman was there, so I drinking ‘the usual’. Pretty good. Loadsof other people came, Fraser, Cav, Fergus, others.. I got drunk after a while.. I think Barry was there too! Fraser tells me he has become a semi-professional poker player since I last seen him. He apparently won £2000 in a week. Bloody dick. I found out that one of the barstaff at the hive lives next door to me! Waay. John was trying to get me to go to Mulan Rouge..na. It was carries birthday, i wanted to go to stereo with them.. but I had already spent all of my money. And stereo ain’t free. I did a jager bomb(or more than one), then things get hazy again. I remember seeing Robbie, and I’m sure I spent a lot of time dancing with him and some girls.. They were familiar but I can’t think where from(probably the hive..since I’m there all the time!).
Wednesday – I woke up.. I don’t know how I got home, but I did! I was meant to be doing the phone job, but my internet was being a dick so I couldn’t. I spent over an hour fucking about with connections etc but still no luck. Did anyone else in Polwarth experience this? Bloody bastards. Went up to my parents – It took me an hour and a half to walk because of my limp!! What the hell. I bumped into Sam and Caitlin who were eating sushi in a church(surely that’s some kind of sin! We had some chat about the night before, then I went on my way. I had some tea(Felicity made Carbonara) I slept a fair amount, and I had a bath. Which felt great considering all my bruises. Eventually I got out of bed and jumped on a bus down to Leith for a Music Foundry meeting. We discussed ways to get myself more business, and ideas for a summer school we are hoping to run. It was good to meet with the other tutor(guitar – he’s stealing all the students). We had quite a good chat, some promising ideas – It actually gave me a lot more hope for my future with this company – that they are actually trying to get me business, rather than just ignoring me! I was hungry on the way home, I considered buying a naan bread or something. In the end I settled with a nice Donner from Pizza Corner – Laura – What have you done! You’ve left me and now I cant stop eating kebabs!! Damn you. I am going to try and make a sustained effort to eat better and budget from this day forth.
Thursday – Finally, I am no longer hungover. YES! That’s how it works. I went to teach Ben – I really need to properly organise my teaching stuff, get some CD’s and backing tracks made etc. Next week! Met Hazel on the bus back, she’s like me – working loadsof days – but she’s at uni too. She refuses to have a pool party because she doesn’t have the key or something! Damn her. Dropped my stuff off, played Craig at a quick game of Fifa(quick 3 games) I beat him of course. We decided to go crap teams – I went Sampdoria and they were alright like. After that I walked up to my folks – It didn’t take and hour and a half this time, more like 40mins, which is a bit more respectable, although still not great. I had a bath and some tea etc. Chili con carne which was actually very nice, although I was still pretty starving after it! I had a bath, watched some family guy then went to bed!
Friday – Got up, quite lazy. Had a total pig out on some food. Cornflakes for breakfast. Followed quickly by loadsof chicken then a pizza(the pizza smelt like vomit unfortunately). I then walked down the road. Went to Tesco for a shop. I bought a load of crap. It’s so hard. Can a nutritionist please accompany me next time I go. Got home, watched some Smallville then went to work. Apparently I had been fucked on Monday – but you know how the rumour mill spreads, and apparently I not only got thrown out of Luluz.. but I passed out and had to be carried out by the bouncers. This did not happen. I have had the benefit of speaking with the only sober girl of the night(amy-who works at luluz), and she said I was on my feet. Apparently there was no scandal, just a lot of drunkenness. I had some scampi for my tea! The shift was shit. The dj had the music on SOO loud, I could not hear a thing and my ears got absolutely pummelled. I was also stressing out and coming close to punching people who decided that while standing next to the speaker, the best way for me to hear what they wanted was by whispering. Fucking twats. Especially this Irish stag party.. I almost never served one of them cos he was pissing me off so much. The night just dragged and dragged. Veitch came in to visit me, although I didn’t get to chat to him much because the place was so damned busy. He has had a lot more tattoos done on his arm – looked pretty cool! Joanna also came into visit me. I think that’s the first time I’ve seen her when she’s not jumped on me and then ignored me a few minutes later.. I served some dick(mini hulk Hogan) and he walked off before I gave him his change. 5 minutes later he came back and started screaming at me for his change. I was like mate. Fuck off, I’l get to you in a minute. You can’t have access to your change whenever the fuck you want, you get it when you buy the drinks or you get it later. Fucking dick. I was glad to get home. I think I probably watched an episode of Smallville when I got in too. Reaching the end of the series, serious..I don’t even know why I watch it, its not that good.
Saturday – Spent the whole day in bed, - pretty bad, considering it looked gorgeous outside! On the other hand, I did get myself completely up to date with Smallville. That had better not be the end of the series cos it was a shit ending. I actually had tickets to go and see Frightened Rabbit tonight in Sneaky Petes. I had been planning all week to pull a sicky and go to it. But this morning my conscience(and the fact that Sneaky Pete’s is right next to biddys and i would almost definitely get seen by someone) got the better of me, and I didn’t go. I’ve seen them before, and I’ll see them again. But still...... Gutting. I sold one of my tickets to Andy’s friend. Gutting. Went into work, and I was in a surprisingly good mood. I had a nice juicy burger with bacon and cheese on it for my tea, and quite a good night – The dj wasn’t playing too loud Not long after she started I was gonna ask her to play Calvin harris at some stage. She played it twice! Legend. She also played the Subways! Legend. She was getting a bit ridiculous with Poker Face though.. 4 times throughout the night!! There was a couple of random power surges throughout the night – A legendary moment was during journey. The power cut out but everyone kept singing. Fucking great. I was chatting to this girl, she used the phrase ‘my friend thinks your barry’ while her friend was standing next to her blushing. Haha, amazing. What a phrase. Also a group of (hot) Irish girls declared me as the best thing to happen in their night(because I told them they could get student discount..they were students). This really hot girl though.. I know her from somewhere, I just cant think where. Kindof strange since she lives in Ireland. Oh infact, it might just be that she looks like that bird on Something for the weekend. At the end, John had chucked some Italian builders out(who had actually been staying at the Hotel for over a year!) because he thought they stole a bottle of corona. Radek was helping me bring the furniture down from upstairs, and these (6) Italians came bursting through the door, wanting to speak to security. I was like na guys were shut, yet they came through. Fair enough.. I want to get home.. I don’t want to get my head kicked in by some Italian builders. Someone else can deal with it. Came down the lift and all I could hear was lots of shouting(bastardo, Mario etc). Shaun(who wasn’t even working) was stuck in the middle the Italians trying to calm them down. Next time I came down, they were all shouting at John and he was speaking in Italian, telling them to fuck off cos he was Scottish or something. That’s what all good pastry chefs do. Next time I came down they were all apologising to each other. Crisis averted. Had a quick pint and home.
Sunday – Got out of bed about 145, I had a quick shower. Aidan and Dom came up. Time to book Spain holiday. We managed to get a flight to Malaga for £50 no problem. Aidan was incharge of the computer. We then were looking for a homeward bound flight. Aidan spent ages and had no luck. He then went to the toilet. Within 30 seconds of him going, I had found us a flight from Alicante for free! Once tax and stuff got included it was £40.. but still! We’re going to spain! Me, Craig, Aid and Dom. Gonna be fucking brilliant. We also used this opportunity to plan out the whole of June. 5th,6th,7th – Take the campervan away somewhere with Kara’s campervan(but she’s turning into a frog and so isn’t coming)- Still hopefully do that. 10th June – Flat party to celebrate my birthday(Biannual Polwarth Garden’s party too). 11th June – Some sort of food with my folks, then probably go see DMH at Cab vol. Since they are my best mates and if I don’t go with them then I wont have any friends for my birthday. 12th June – We fly to Malaga. 24th June – We Fly home from Alicante. 25th June – The Marvels, DMH and Boycotts at Sneaky Petes. A bit of rest, then T in the park. An issue with all of this is money. I then went back to bed, got up and went to work. My teeth have been hurting a little bit.. not that sore, but its a bit of an annoyance! I had a steak sandwich for tea. It was alright likes. Hurt my teeth a wee bit. Not a bad shift, that Irish band were playing.. They were ok. I was on the front bar for most of the night, So I didn’t need any earplugs. That group of Irish Girls were in. Good girls. It was dead for most of the night, but then at 12 a load of people came in. Got finished up.. I was considering(strongly) going to cappadoccia, but I managed to resist and I got a taxi home. Super noodles – then bed.
Next week – Work, work, work. I’m not spending any money until june. I can’t afford to. Gig on the Monday, radio on the Tuesday, work work work.
Monday – Got up about 1130. Had some breakfast(no milk so not a very good breakfast..more like a banana or spaghetti or something). Phone job 12-6. All good, starting to get the hang of it I reckon..I just hope it gives me some money for doing it. Finished at 6, quick shower and off to the Biddy’s staff night out. On leaving the flat, I realised that I couldn’t walk because I was so stiff from Paintballing the day before! I bought a packet of Mcoy’s and a Milky bar kid bar for my tea. Probably not the best idea. San Miguel and Vodka mixer’s were free while we were at Biddy’s. Got there pretty much bang on 7, I figured just drink San Miguel(albeit quickly) while we were there. By 7.40.. everyone was drinking double vodka kick’s(cheap red bull). Ah fuck it! I think that may be the earliest I have ever drunk vodka in that quantity. Must have had about 3 doubles by the time we left. We were doing some sort of treasure hunt or something.. for starters we had to make a poster with our team name on it. I cant remember what it was, but our poster was fucking ace! It had boobs! We had Me, Sean(girl), Shaun(Boy), Kate and Jenni on our team. Next step was to swap clothes with a member of the opposite sex in our team. Thus I spent most of the night wearing a girls blouse. Our team was shit. We took ages to go anywhere or decide on anything! Still we had fun. Singing ‘I’m a little Tea Pot short and stout, Here is my handle here is my spout’ How does the rest of the song go? I was convinced it was “Incey Wincey spider dad a dad a dada.” Apparently not though. I’ve still to really see photos from the night.. but a LOT were taken. We went into Oz bar and had to get a kiss off a girl.. unfortunately the girl I picked had already been asked by the 8 other teams! All the teams ended up in three sisters and this is where things get pretty hazy! Swapped back clothes with Kate and then just drank loadsof vodka. Me and Kim(apparently) thought that they would give us the doubles in wee tiny glasses(like in the hive), so we bought 2 at a time and they came in big massive things. This is what I’m told.. I’m not too sure what was going on. There was some kind of awards ceremony in the courtyard, then I vaguely remember getting in a taxi, but that’s about it.
Tuesday – Woke up properly fucked, covered in so many bruises that I could barely walk. Like I had a limp for 3 days. I had a massive bruise on my hip, bruise’s on both my elbows and bruises on the palms of my hands. What the hell happened. I got a text from Sean later being like ‘You got carried out of Lulu, you are my hero’. I was in Lulu?? Apparently we all went to Lulu, and one after the other we all got chucked out. I don’t remember any of this, but it’s all good. I just wish I knew where these bruises came from! Went over to Santans and bought a Haggis Pizza, Chocolate Buttons yoghurt and a bottle of orange juice(even though i had orange juice in the flat already). Cooked my pizza and started working at the phones. Quite hungover.. I went down to Pizza Corner, John met me there. I got a doner, he got a chicken. Pretty tasty stuff. Went up to the flat and played a bit of guitar hero. We were planning to be at sam’s by about 730. We left the flat at maybe 830/840. John somehow convinced me to go to Chloes. John managed to doorknob me a fucker. The bad thing is that he went easy on me.. in my crippled state I was in no condition to push past him to a doorknow(which btw, chloe has none of). Stayed there for half an hour then made a move to Sam’s. Stopped off at Scotmid for a couple tins of Tyskie and a bottle of wine. Got to Sam’s door and there was some girl there. We were like ‘you going to Sam’s?’ she said yeah. John introduced himself and she was like ‘I’m amy’. But she completely ignored me, so I went ‘Yeah, and I’m Crusher’. She was like “yeah.. I know you”. Where from? When from? “Well, for one thing.. You got chucked out of Luluz last night! And the other, I went out with John McGee 4 years ago.” Turns out she had been working on the cash desk in Lulu. Apparently I hadn’t been carried out. She saw me just kindof standing there in a daze, not really moving, and then the bouncer just kindof guided me out. It still doesn’t explain the bruising! So we went up and got to Sam’s door. She was like ‘this isn’t where Sam lives’..yes it is.. ‘no..’ yes.. wait, is Sam a boy or a girl ‘a girl!’ oh.. different Sam!. So she went upstairs, and we went in to the real Sam’s flat. We were greeted by Jo singing me my drunken song “I went to the doctors guess what he told me? He said ‘girl you gotta try and have fun no matter what you do’.. He’s a fool!” Went into Stalk’s room and the whole of the 1f1 boys were KO’d on his bed, Liam was getting in his dressing gown just about to go to sleep. Went through to the kitchen and there was this fucking weird boy sitting on a stool playing guitar, singing in falsetto... damn did he love college. Noone knew who he was or spoke to him. Oh, did I mention it was Sam’s birthday – everyone had been in the meadows drinking/smoking since 1030am.. hence was absolutely cunted. Amy and the girl Sam came down after a couple of minutes.. turns out they were Sam’s hot neighbours. Steel was absolutely baked, so I talked with him about bass for like 40 minutes. What do I think of him as a player, what does he think of me, what do we think of other people, what other people do we hate, isn’t bass the best instrument, having so many jobs stops me from progressing with me instrument. Etcetc. We’ve had this conversation a million times. I love drinking..and i love girls.. but damn do we love college. John had worked his way through the second bottle of wine, and thus started putting people in headlocks. I had only brought 2 cans with me, and so I ran out pretty quick. John took an absolute stinker of a shite which meant no one could go in to the toilet. I waited a few minutes then went in brandishing an incense candle which cancelled out the poo. Everyone in the flat sang Sinead ‘O’ connor for a while, before moving onto the fact that we all love college, drinking and girls. Daisy arrived at some stage. We planned to go to the hive, and we did. Everyone was wanting to walk.. It would have literally taken me an hour to walk to the hive, so i jumped in a taxi with the girls. Caitlin forgot everything, so girl Sam lent her money. Got into the hive, some guy started chanting at me in the toilet.. weird. Went round and had a jagerbomb with the girls. There goes me taking it easy right out of the window. The rest of the walking crew arrived. More jager. Ramage was there, spoke with him for a bit. The legend of a barman was there, so I drinking ‘the usual’. Pretty good. Loadsof other people came, Fraser, Cav, Fergus, others.. I got drunk after a while.. I think Barry was there too! Fraser tells me he has become a semi-professional poker player since I last seen him. He apparently won £2000 in a week. Bloody dick. I found out that one of the barstaff at the hive lives next door to me! Waay. John was trying to get me to go to Mulan Rouge..na. It was carries birthday, i wanted to go to stereo with them.. but I had already spent all of my money. And stereo ain’t free. I did a jager bomb(or more than one), then things get hazy again. I remember seeing Robbie, and I’m sure I spent a lot of time dancing with him and some girls.. They were familiar but I can’t think where from(probably the hive..since I’m there all the time!).
Wednesday – I woke up.. I don’t know how I got home, but I did! I was meant to be doing the phone job, but my internet was being a dick so I couldn’t. I spent over an hour fucking about with connections etc but still no luck. Did anyone else in Polwarth experience this? Bloody bastards. Went up to my parents – It took me an hour and a half to walk because of my limp!! What the hell. I bumped into Sam and Caitlin who were eating sushi in a church(surely that’s some kind of sin! We had some chat about the night before, then I went on my way. I had some tea(Felicity made Carbonara) I slept a fair amount, and I had a bath. Which felt great considering all my bruises. Eventually I got out of bed and jumped on a bus down to Leith for a Music Foundry meeting. We discussed ways to get myself more business, and ideas for a summer school we are hoping to run. It was good to meet with the other tutor(guitar – he’s stealing all the students). We had quite a good chat, some promising ideas – It actually gave me a lot more hope for my future with this company – that they are actually trying to get me business, rather than just ignoring me! I was hungry on the way home, I considered buying a naan bread or something. In the end I settled with a nice Donner from Pizza Corner – Laura – What have you done! You’ve left me and now I cant stop eating kebabs!! Damn you. I am going to try and make a sustained effort to eat better and budget from this day forth.
Thursday – Finally, I am no longer hungover. YES! That’s how it works. I went to teach Ben – I really need to properly organise my teaching stuff, get some CD’s and backing tracks made etc. Next week! Met Hazel on the bus back, she’s like me – working loadsof days – but she’s at uni too. She refuses to have a pool party because she doesn’t have the key or something! Damn her. Dropped my stuff off, played Craig at a quick game of Fifa(quick 3 games) I beat him of course. We decided to go crap teams – I went Sampdoria and they were alright like. After that I walked up to my folks – It didn’t take and hour and a half this time, more like 40mins, which is a bit more respectable, although still not great. I had a bath and some tea etc. Chili con carne which was actually very nice, although I was still pretty starving after it! I had a bath, watched some family guy then went to bed!
Friday – Got up, quite lazy. Had a total pig out on some food. Cornflakes for breakfast. Followed quickly by loadsof chicken then a pizza(the pizza smelt like vomit unfortunately). I then walked down the road. Went to Tesco for a shop. I bought a load of crap. It’s so hard. Can a nutritionist please accompany me next time I go. Got home, watched some Smallville then went to work. Apparently I had been fucked on Monday – but you know how the rumour mill spreads, and apparently I not only got thrown out of Luluz.. but I passed out and had to be carried out by the bouncers. This did not happen. I have had the benefit of speaking with the only sober girl of the night(amy-who works at luluz), and she said I was on my feet. Apparently there was no scandal, just a lot of drunkenness. I had some scampi for my tea! The shift was shit. The dj had the music on SOO loud, I could not hear a thing and my ears got absolutely pummelled. I was also stressing out and coming close to punching people who decided that while standing next to the speaker, the best way for me to hear what they wanted was by whispering. Fucking twats. Especially this Irish stag party.. I almost never served one of them cos he was pissing me off so much. The night just dragged and dragged. Veitch came in to visit me, although I didn’t get to chat to him much because the place was so damned busy. He has had a lot more tattoos done on his arm – looked pretty cool! Joanna also came into visit me. I think that’s the first time I’ve seen her when she’s not jumped on me and then ignored me a few minutes later.. I served some dick(mini hulk Hogan) and he walked off before I gave him his change. 5 minutes later he came back and started screaming at me for his change. I was like mate. Fuck off, I’l get to you in a minute. You can’t have access to your change whenever the fuck you want, you get it when you buy the drinks or you get it later. Fucking dick. I was glad to get home. I think I probably watched an episode of Smallville when I got in too. Reaching the end of the series, serious..I don’t even know why I watch it, its not that good.
Saturday – Spent the whole day in bed, - pretty bad, considering it looked gorgeous outside! On the other hand, I did get myself completely up to date with Smallville. That had better not be the end of the series cos it was a shit ending. I actually had tickets to go and see Frightened Rabbit tonight in Sneaky Petes. I had been planning all week to pull a sicky and go to it. But this morning my conscience(and the fact that Sneaky Pete’s is right next to biddys and i would almost definitely get seen by someone) got the better of me, and I didn’t go. I’ve seen them before, and I’ll see them again. But still...... Gutting. I sold one of my tickets to Andy’s friend. Gutting. Went into work, and I was in a surprisingly good mood. I had a nice juicy burger with bacon and cheese on it for my tea, and quite a good night – The dj wasn’t playing too loud Not long after she started I was gonna ask her to play Calvin harris at some stage. She played it twice! Legend. She also played the Subways! Legend. She was getting a bit ridiculous with Poker Face though.. 4 times throughout the night!! There was a couple of random power surges throughout the night – A legendary moment was during journey. The power cut out but everyone kept singing. Fucking great. I was chatting to this girl, she used the phrase ‘my friend thinks your barry’ while her friend was standing next to her blushing. Haha, amazing. What a phrase. Also a group of (hot) Irish girls declared me as the best thing to happen in their night(because I told them they could get student discount..they were students). This really hot girl though.. I know her from somewhere, I just cant think where. Kindof strange since she lives in Ireland. Oh infact, it might just be that she looks like that bird on Something for the weekend. At the end, John had chucked some Italian builders out(who had actually been staying at the Hotel for over a year!) because he thought they stole a bottle of corona. Radek was helping me bring the furniture down from upstairs, and these (6) Italians came bursting through the door, wanting to speak to security. I was like na guys were shut, yet they came through. Fair enough.. I want to get home.. I don’t want to get my head kicked in by some Italian builders. Someone else can deal with it. Came down the lift and all I could hear was lots of shouting(bastardo, Mario etc). Shaun(who wasn’t even working) was stuck in the middle the Italians trying to calm them down. Next time I came down, they were all shouting at John and he was speaking in Italian, telling them to fuck off cos he was Scottish or something. That’s what all good pastry chefs do. Next time I came down they were all apologising to each other. Crisis averted. Had a quick pint and home.
Sunday – Got out of bed about 145, I had a quick shower. Aidan and Dom came up. Time to book Spain holiday. We managed to get a flight to Malaga for £50 no problem. Aidan was incharge of the computer. We then were looking for a homeward bound flight. Aidan spent ages and had no luck. He then went to the toilet. Within 30 seconds of him going, I had found us a flight from Alicante for free! Once tax and stuff got included it was £40.. but still! We’re going to spain! Me, Craig, Aid and Dom. Gonna be fucking brilliant. We also used this opportunity to plan out the whole of June. 5th,6th,7th – Take the campervan away somewhere with Kara’s campervan(but she’s turning into a frog and so isn’t coming)- Still hopefully do that. 10th June – Flat party to celebrate my birthday(Biannual Polwarth Garden’s party too). 11th June – Some sort of food with my folks, then probably go see DMH at Cab vol. Since they are my best mates and if I don’t go with them then I wont have any friends for my birthday. 12th June – We fly to Malaga. 24th June – We Fly home from Alicante. 25th June – The Marvels, DMH and Boycotts at Sneaky Petes. A bit of rest, then T in the park. An issue with all of this is money. I then went back to bed, got up and went to work. My teeth have been hurting a little bit.. not that sore, but its a bit of an annoyance! I had a steak sandwich for tea. It was alright likes. Hurt my teeth a wee bit. Not a bad shift, that Irish band were playing.. They were ok. I was on the front bar for most of the night, So I didn’t need any earplugs. That group of Irish Girls were in. Good girls. It was dead for most of the night, but then at 12 a load of people came in. Got finished up.. I was considering(strongly) going to cappadoccia, but I managed to resist and I got a taxi home. Super noodles – then bed.
Next week – Work, work, work. I’m not spending any money until june. I can’t afford to. Gig on the Monday, radio on the Tuesday, work work work.
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