Happy Birthday!!

A crazy week, involving a new year, Aidans 21st, and the traditional pre new year smash up. I think I’ve recovered now, but who actually knows.Monday – This is the 29th, I think pretty much this was my last day of vegetating after Christmas, as you do. I think I may have had a Chinese. Tuesday – Just chilled throughout the day, maybe – I did try for a run, in a t shirt – had to come back after 5 mins because my hands were frozen. Bad idea. I Aidan picked me and sib up and we went to Johns. Stopped off to pick up some beer, £5 a crate – Credit crunch rules! Went to Johns where we met Ahmed, John, Duncan and his bird, and mike. Proceeded to get drunk, fight. John stabbed Craig in the chest with a kitchen knife – Craig shat it! 2 girls showed up and tried to release Johns gecko’s into the wild. I stopped them. Got a taxi to town, we gave a crate of beer to a homeless guy – Happy Christmas. Went to the hive, everyone was there, it was good fun – a nice way to traditionally get smashed before new year – problem with the hive is, I always get far too drunk and decide to leave for a kebab. I tried hard not to do this, just wandered about cos I lost everyone. Went for a kebab, got there and it was shut! I hadn’t realised it was after 4 in the morning GOD DAMMIT! Somehow met Craig and walked home with him. Talked for ages in the hall – Nick got up and shouted at us. Wednesday – Funniest thing ever, Craig got up, to find his James Bond memory stick, and immediately started humming(drunkenly) the James bond theme tune. Haha. Was totally fucked all day. Could barely move. I think I watched the family guy where the bird is the word. Please take my advice, and watch this – cos its great. Yes. Thought I should eat something before new year, so I phoned a Chinese. It was a real struggle, I was shouting when I was eating it cos I was so fucked. Me and Craig were workin at the studios, so nick had a flat party for new year, just him. It was such a cold day. Couldn’t believe it. Started work at 10, so headed over. There was a metallica tribute band playing, so watched them soundcheck, and started getting things ready. About quarter past 10 craig gave me a drink. It begins. It is new year after all, so no matter how hungover I am, gotta keep drinking. Craig’s sister was there, fairly smashed, kept asking me if I had her bag. At the bells, I shut the cloakroom and went to the bar. Got given a Jagerbomb, and some Pink Champagne(with a shot of Jager in it) HAPPY NEW YEAR, got them down us. Then me and Craig went to reminisce about Berlin – Havana Club – 1,2,3,1,2,3,4 boom. Tried it with Vinto too – not bad. Metallica tribute band went on, watched them playing – Craigs sister went up to the bass player(while he was on stage) and was like your shite, let crusher up. Haha. Back to the cloakroom, big que. Oh well. The night continued like this, drinking Havana while serving people their coats. I couldn’t find a coat straight away, so when I bent down to have a look she goes “What a Cunt” im like I can still here just cos you cant see me, the cloakrooms less than 2 metres squared! So I told her if your gonna call me a cunt then your not getting your coat, you cunt. People kept buying me drinks, on top of the ones craig was giving me. Kirsty came into the cloakroom for a bit, and had a chat with her boyfriend..wasnt really why I invited you in tbh haha. Eventually everyone left and I was able to close up, waay. Some girl lost her bag, and was quite upset – helped her look everywhere for it, then Found out Wes had it upstairs. She was happy. Someone came up the stairs and was like someones looking for her, goes by the name “boyfriend” haha. The band had left all their equipment set up, to pick up the following day – So me, one of the bouncers, and the Engineers jumped up and jammed some tunes for ages – great fun, except I was smashed and the bass was have a step flat so I was having to transpose everything! Got home about 9, after trying to find a party but no one was still up. We figured the curfew had passed so we hammered some drums, waking Kev and Mark. Opened a couple beers for me and craig, but he wouldn’t have his..so I did. Put Fleetwood Mac on through the amp, while craig tried to drum along. Then put on No Doubt while he tried to drum to Metallica. Went to bed. Joss Ross arrived at 1030 and crashed out. Thursday – New years day – Had some Goujons, played some drums, left. Joss Ross gave us a lift home, we were both completely smashed, I had to give him directions such as “watch out that cars parked” and “Stop, this is a junction” that u2 song about new years day came on, so we sang that. Went up to my folks and basically struggled through the day. So fucked. Went to bed at 7pm, thought I had slept for ages, woke up at 11pm. Didn’t get to sleep until 3, fuckin rubbish. Carrie woke me up with a phone call at 11am, I’m so tired. Friday – Had a chat with Carrie, went to The links bar to begin the greatest day of our lives. Present was Me, Aij, Mike, Fluff, CripDom, Craig, and Nick. Pub lunch, had loads of burgers. Headed into town. The day was basically spent looking in loadsof shops to try and get the guys a hat like mine(amazing fur Russian hat) and standing in circles outside shops. Mike bought a snow leopard print hat, with a tail – 2 minutes later he found an even better one – A CAT HAT. So he bought that too. We watched some people ice skating, there was one really poncy guy, wearing a suit who was whizzing round, going backwards and doing backflips and stuff. Nick Stripped bullock naked, donned the cat hat, and charged him down. Some woman fell and cracked her head, ouch. Carried on, went on the Ghost Train – Once You’ve passed, you’ve missed your chance mwuhaha. It was so scary. Not. Oh, also in this time I bought the Journey Box Set – containing all their albums. Btw, Journey are severely underrated..legends! Got a taxi to the cinema, realised there was nothing decent on and went to the flat, despite nicks desperation to see Australia – I refuse to watch that film, it looks dreadful. Got some pizzas and watched Old School(was that what its called? Will Ferrell etc) which was fucking hilarious. Lads left, Played fifa or something. Had another shite sleep, I think my Pattern is fucked. Saturday – Aidan’s birthday. Headed over to his house for about 6, John gave me a lift which was legendary, because it was freezing. It was a family thing, kids running around and stuff. Me and john just talked about how my cake looked like poo, and told funny stories about poo while I was eating it. Almost puked. We were telling Aidan’s auntie that I’d given up the rock and roll lifestyle to become a priest. Father Killer is my name. I bless you my child. Played pass the parcel, duck duck goose, and some crazy game where you put a cereal box on the ground and have to pick up with your mouth. It ends up that your just picking up a little piece of cardboard. Claire won, just before smacking her face into the ground. Amazing. We then did sit up shots, exercise and alcohol combined into one. On an inclined bench, sit up, do the shot, straight back down. Great fun. We then jumped into a taxi, a taxi being johns bus. I was in the back with laura, and when it came to get out, we couldn’t find the catch. I went to do a forward roll over, and at the same time Claire found the catch and put the seat forward. Somehow this caused my trousers to rip. I was trying to make a point of not embarrassing myself in oddfellows tonight, since I do it every time I’m there. Failed even before I walk in the door. Oddfellow’s was banging, lots of people I’ve not seen in ages. We did a Jager train, which was about 12 carriages long – thank you Claire! Paramore was there too, I dunno what I was talking to her friends about, im just sure it was absolute pish. Oh mike was absolutely hammered at this stage I believe. All of Aidan’s friends were sitting around the top of the balcony, at different tables. We had a war with everyone else in an effort to get everyone united. It worked. Off to the hive. Banter as usual, lots of good dancing, including a new move introduced to me by one of aidans cousins. Its called the priest. It was Fraser’s birthday too, so all that lot were out, resulting in some banter of the highest variety. Danced for ages, then I had the craving for a kebab. Having missed my chance earlier in the week, I went for one shortly after 2, so I couldn’t miss it. Bumped into tom in Cappadoccia, not sure if I spoke to him much – I was fairly engrossed in my kebab. Got back, and so did craig, and Mike too. Made Craig sit up shot a bottle of tequila(not actually, but he did a bottle of millers) talked absolute pish until some point, when we crashed out. Did a lot of forward rolls too. I had my duvet on my head aswell as my Russian hat. Amazing. Sunday – Showed mike the bird is the word family guy. Played some Perfect Dark. Mike(with a broken ankle), wanted to walk to the St. James centre for a greggs. We tried, but ended up in McDonalds. Apparently the night before, Paramore had bought Aidan a dirty pint – But since she works there, it didn’t cost – and it had 2 shots of everything in it, with no lager or anything. He was gone shortly after. John got a voicemail saying “Pray for me John” and “John il fuckin fight you lets go” its so funny. Spoke to aidan the next day, said he walked home in the wrong direction for an hour, thinking it was a computer game. He woke up in his parents bed. Went to my folks to finish my book. I’m sorry, 6 books, its just getting interesting(its all interesting, but its getting really interesting) and they end it all with a 2 and a half page epilogue that round everything off loosely. Raging. But it was a great series to be fair, Amtrak Wars. Boom – crazy week, crazy times. Im taking a couple weeks off drinking to try and save some cash up, because im completely skint. Next session will be at the work Christmas party on the 15th! Boom over and out.

You Can Go Your Own Way

Okay hello – my blogging skills over the past 6 months have been absolutely appalling, and I’m so sorry. Now this isn’t exactly in sync with the usual Monday to Sunday thing I used to do – however, I’ve decided to just go for it while I’m sitting here with some time to spare. Now just to recap for anyone who I’ve not spoken to since then – some things have changed, not much, but some. I live in a flat in Polwarth with Nick and Craig, it is perhaps the best flat ever. My car is off the road, sitting in my garage awaiting a time when I need and can afford it. Because I live in a flat, and pay all the council tax myself cos my cunts of flatmates are students-I have no money ever. I truly miss my car, and on several occasions I cry because of it. I still work at the EICC but cant really be fucked with it anymore, I also work at Studio 24 from time to time, and I’m meant to be putting on a weekly club indie club/gig night at base but we’ll see how that goes. I also play in bands and other shit. It’s barry. Anyway, to try and BLOG AGAIN. – where will I start from, our flat party.Monday – Christmas flat party night – I have had the flu for over a week, but the show must go on. I’m almost over it anyway. Wake up to craig fucking hammering away like a mad cunt. Stop hammering, its 10am! Craig’s shit at hammering anyway, so I went through and helped him hammer up the portraits. Our flat has an unfair democracy in place, me and craig voted for the east wall to host the portraits, nick disagreed so we put them on the west wall. Dunno how that worked. I went up to the parental and shopped like a mother fucker. Infact, I also went via mikes. Rigged up the bass amp locked the shit away jumped in the shower and waited for people to arrive. My account of things is hazy at best, because I was smashed, but it was actually a fucking mental party with probably 100 people involved. Craig borrowed the Laser machine from studio 24 – a laser machine actually used in a night club! Amazing, we kept it hidden tho. We decorated the flat like a Christmas tree, not to mention the Christmas tree. There was a point in the night, where I stood with Claire and my sister next to the door, and the buzzer was constantly ringing, so I would push the button, wait 30 seconds then open the door and repeat. We allowed people to smoke in the kitchen, and I almost died in there. At midnight, the portraits were unveiled – baby pictures of the 3 of us on canvas, nicks scares the fuck out of me, his stare never leaves me. They had been covered in some kind of material, Took that off to the theme tune of Jurassic park, cut the lights, fired on the laser machine and pumped some rage against the machine. Thing is, no one was really dancing, people were just sitting talking and being like “turn the music down, and take those lasers out of my eyes” and im like, na its a fucking party! Spent a lot of time in my room with various people, various people destroying my room completely. Me and Aidan were taking it in turns to hit each other over the head with my lamp(why, im not sure) and he won, causing blood to stream down my face. Great fun. Also, the neighbours across the landing were complaining, but we won them over and they came in to party. 1 of them was like 45, and was with his 16 year old son. Apparently someone pulled the 16 year old, dunno who, but good effort. We found a note(somehow) pinned to the outside of our door. How were we gonna see that? It read exactly “Turn the music down, and be quiet, or the police will be called. Its 3am, grow up” Eh, excuse me but how about you grow the fuck up, if you’ve got a problem ring the bell, were not savages. Somehow, proceedings moved to craigs room. I believe, by this point most people had left. In the sofa bed was craig, aidan, and some random girl – I didn’t know where she’d come from – and constantly asked who she was. She was quite funny to be fair, and told us she was 16 – as a joke. Hahahahah. Joss Ross – called such because he looks like Joss – was in craigs bed with some girl. I was lying on the bench press doing sit ups and the like, and some girl was there too – dunno who she was, but apparently she was a raj ned. At some stage I went to bed. I was woken up by the bell ringing constantly for 20mins, I was like who the fuck is this. Finally got up and answered the door, and it was veronica, the woman from the house next door. Apparently someone had written “yer ma” on her car, in lipstick jam donut, and she wanted us to clean it – because it was of course one of our friends who did this, even tho her car was not parked inside our flat. Whatever. So I went through to craigs room, and we talked for like 20mins, then the bell went again. Ok, so me and craig went down in our shorts and cleaned her car. Boom. Next day – TUESDAY – went for a subway for some reason, fucking shite. They all went for a pub lunch, I had work that night so I couldn’t. This was a really funny day, I don’t know why, but it was. Got back to the flat, and was trying to take a shower, but a fuse in the kitchen blew, tripping everything else. I didn’t know where the box was, so i had to get 2 extension cables attached together with a lamp, and it barely reached the toilet, and I had a shower in lamp light. By this point I still hadn’t got round to tidying my room, or finding the broken glass from the bulb of the previous night. No injury to my bare feet though. Went to work, and it was the ikea party, everyone got fucked, loads of slags etc. Good night. Wednesday – Christmas eve, went did all my shopping, went for a meal with the family at night. Good fun.Thursday – Christmas day – usual nice family stuff, etc etc. Woo.Friday – Boxing day – went shopping with Mike, John, Finlay and Craig. Bought lord of the rings trilogy. Spent the whole day trying to not swear in front of Fin, then we get in the car and blast Lil Wayne(or some other rapper) and immediately its like “im gonna fuckin kill you you fuck, after I rape your dead whore who I fucking killed”etcetc – so does it really matter if we swear in front of finlay.... hmm. Saturday – I believe I stayed in. Sunday – who knows.Well, fancy that – it did take on the usual format. Hope you enjoy, even though it was pretty long winded. Im gonna try and do next weeks soon, even though the week isn’t finished, but so fuck!