A Few Screws Short Of A Picnic

A good week, followed by an absolutely MENTAL weekend! Had my 21st party etc which was fucking immense.Monday - Worked 9-6 on floor services, was an awesome day. I was still pretty pished from the night before… Got in at 9, went for breakfast, no meat today, just an egg roll. There was hundreds of us working, yet only minimal amounts of work to do - this worked in my favour since I would’ve really struggled to do anything that required a decent amount of effort. I was a SHITHEAD according to Rory Ross, Joe, and their magic game of cards. Not sure what I did that evening….but not much. Just nursed my hangover and laughed at all the amazing photos. Tuesday - Not really sure what I did….. Oh..infact yeah.. I did a pussy wee hosting shift as I remember it, was just me in on my own. Almost went out to stereo, the guys had me convinced - but they took too long to come and meet me, so I just ended up going to sleep. Sounds like I missed a good night, but probably for the best.Wednesday - Hosting 8 - 6, Team Leader motherfucker!! Alright day as I remember it - although it ran really late, so seemed like we wouldn’t get away on time. However I managed to get away at 6, ran, got changed, ran to cab vol…to find we still hadn’t sound checked. We were first on at 715, and got told to be ready by 705 by the latest. At 710, there was another band still sound checking. Was a case of onstage, plug in and go. We had nothing in the monitors, couldn’t hear a thing. Bit of a nightmare. Considering we were on so early, it was actually pretty busy. Average set…Went to Tron with Tori and Kristine after. They were hammered after 3 pints, and we went to Siglo so they could dance on each other(still running with this whole lesbian theory…) Turned out it was dead, so we went to Greyfriars bobby(the statue) and danced there. This is like 11pm haha. They went home cos they were so hammered, shouted abuse at the taxi driver haha. I went to liquid rooms where I met pete and dougall, and got fucked and met loads of other people. And got more fucked bla bla Kara‘s right breast became a member of the AAA. I was speaking to this girl I knew(totally innocent, I knew she had a boyfriend) as I was picking up my bass from the cloakroom at the end, and her BF seen this and smacked me in the face, then ran away. I was fucking raging, I ran upstairs once I got my bass, and couldn’t find him. Cock. I’m gonna kick his cunt in once I find out who he is. DICK. My sister helped calm me down, got her on the bus and went home. Seriously though, who the fuck is that insecure about their relationship that they attack anyone who speaks to their girfriend. Get a grip mate. Thursday - Hosting 8-6, was alright. Blablabla, infact, now I think - I was mashed the whole morning, talking absolute shite to anyone and everyone. Especially Maisie. Took a bag of ice along to Emondo in the afternoon when they were short. After work went to Festie with John, John, and Nige for a couple pints. Nick and Aidan then dragged me, to see Sex in The City. I swear to god. It is the worst thing I have ever had to endure. Fucking hell, it was so so bad. Nothing exciting happened whatsoever. Went to emondo after, Aidan and Nick had Cosmos, I had pint to put my balls back in place. Got a pizza!!Friday - Was working in the morning. Hmm. Went home and did some stuff which I cant remember - maybe I listened to no doubt or something.. That rings a bell I was pretty dead from the week, so I caught.1 hours sleep, didn’t help. I then got prepared for my super sweet 16 21st party! ‘got prepared’ meaning had a shower and put clothes on.. None of this feeding the ponies, or briefing the dancers…im afraid it doesent quite live up to the tv show. Mummy wouldn’t pay for a B52 bomber to fly me in, I mean whatever - does she hate me or something. Went and met Craig John and Aidan at Mamas pizza for some pre party pizza at 530 - pretty shit hot. Parma ham, rocket, chicken and mushroom - all in a massive pizza. Couple more pints in various places and we hit odd fellows for 730. Thanks for everyone who came down, it was a cracking night, thanks for any presents etc they were all awesome. Vicky and Fei Fei got me a card with a massive 21 badge that had flashing lights on it - stuck that on. Annie, Lois, Roisin and Katy got me a T in the Park survival kit, consisting of a Tent, First Aid Kit, Pro Plus, Poncho, Shades, a gay as fuck hat with a bow, and some tennants. Needless to say the Poncho went on, aswell as the shades. After some persuading I donned the hat minus the bow. At any point in the night, I had 3 drinks in different locations, and could just pick what I wanted to drink - awesome and thank you! Was doing ok, started off on the beer - but didn’t really feel myself getting drunk. John was mashed, having been on the JD since 730, so I decided it was time to switch to spirits. Then people started buying me shots of everything. This is where things start to get hazy. We played PONCHO, which was awesome. I was running about odd fellows with all my attire, badge still flashing away. I apparently refused to walk to the hive, so I lay on the ground and let 4 people carry me. A limb each haha. Got to the hive - I forward rolled UP niddry street to get there, and we decided(apparently) to not go in. I have a feeling I was in opium, but whatever happened, I appeared at bobby with a wet paint sign(and poncho etc) meet the guys. I lay on the ground some more, shouted at some guy ‘DAD, why don’t you return my letters!! You just gave me your sperm and left. ha-ha. We then got a taxi back to johns…im sure someone stayed in the taxi to go past johns… but I have no idea who. Watched some shite film then went to bed. I slept in the basement because I thought there was loads of folk there, and loads of spare beds. Turns out there wasnt that many people there, and loads of spare beds. i also couldnt get the folding bed out straight, couldnt understand how the support bar worked, so i just slept on the couch. Saturday - didn’t feel too hungover surprisingly. Sat in the sun then watched the rugby. Got a call from seamus, who couldn’t get into the drive. Went out and found a row of traffic cones blocking off the driveway. Have no recollection of doing that. Went in to the mercat for the football at 5, john started at 6 - so he worked and I got drunk. Nick met me, and we went to cargo for the second game. We were up for heading out somewhere, getting fairly tipsy by this stage. Noone else wanted to do anything. Went back to the flat for a regroup and some Mario kart. Maisie was heading to the city café, so we went with her. Met loads of folk, including Harry, kerry, and my stalker(shes everywhere) chatted to harry for ages, then headed back with maisie. Almost got home, when andy phoned me, and was like ‘yo dude u comin to hive?’ this was like 130am. I said yeah. So went to the hive, bla bla bla. Walking home through the cowgate, I stole an irish girl, picked her up and ran away. She didn’t seem to like it. Chatted to the girls standing in the cowgate til 5am, then I went home. Mad. Sunday - wandered round the meadows for ages, trying to get a burger. Theres lots of weird cunts in the meadows. Reggae folk etc. straaange. Eventually got a burger from some shan kebab shop. Had a CATM practise(for once..this gig is looming close) got back, and mike and nick came up - we went to CAV. Of course. Pretty quiet, but awesome as usual. Fuck yeah! Kara and beth came back afterwards, and im not sure what happened, but it involved a lot of talking, and a lot of chewing gum. By the time they left I was fucked. Random weekend, but fucking awesome!Apologies im behind schedule with blogs at the moment - I know theres one due now! Il get it done asap, its gonna be a fucker - my actual birthday, 1 guy 1 cup, A weekend in Kingussie - at least the start of it anyway. Off to berlin this week, which is gonna be awesome! One way or another, T is coming……