Poker, Poker, Poker Fucking Face!

Okay... A busy busy week! A LOT of working, and a little too much vodka. I seem to be falling off the bandwagon in spectacular style. I spent the whole week looking forward to Friday, and when it happened it was amazing!

Monday – Started at Biddys at midday. Left from my parents, and did not give myself nearly enough time to walk up. Made it to the top of morningside before jumping on a bus. Barely made it in on time. The place was mobbed when i came in, died down about 2ish and was pretty dead for the rest of the day. Apparently we did like 60 breakfasts! Which is loads. Finished at 10 and I had been expecting to go home and transcribe a set that Ben had sent me for Tuesday, but he text me saying the guitarist had pulled out so we weren’t playing. Got home, played some fifa and went to bed.

Tuesday – A woman came round to my flat to give me a phone for my new job, and she did some training etc with me.. but my internet didn’t work properly so it was a bit of a waste... I’ve started a new job where I essentially answer phone calls in my flat(its not a sex line!) and patch them through to various clients. The money i earn is dependent on the amount of calls i answer so I’m gonna see how it goes – but it seems pretty cool. I don’t have to wear any clothes which is a bonus. I bought a massive Ethernet cable which goes from my room to the back of the living room. I love that thing(i’m not really sure why, it’s just cool).

Wednesday – Started my ‘job’(it is a real job actually, but i say it in inverted commas because to get to my ‘job’ i have to open my bedroom door, then open the living room door , and i’m at work. Finished that at 3 then went to Biddy’s for 5. 5 -11. Watched the Scotland game while working. Good result. There was a few folk from biddys in drinking, so when i finished i was like.. I’l have one. I then started absolutely hammering double vodkas. Went to Faith with Mark and Shauno and Did a Strawpedo – aswell as more vodka. It’s not like Liquid Rooms... drinks are more expensive, and i don’t know anyone that goes there. The only people i saw that i knew were Jakil(fucking great to see them tho!). I don’t remember leaving.

Thursday – I woke up in a polo shirt and some shorts. Fair enough, nothing out of the ordinary. I look round, and in my bed next to me is another polo shirt. Strange. I then see a pile of clothes on the floor(not even clothes I had been wearing) and they are wet. Not soaking wet, but like a half pint of water had been thrown on them. I went into the hall, and another polo shirt is lying there. I have no explanation for any of this. Strange. Went to do some teaching.. feeling slightly hungover which i don’t like doing.. It was an absolutely gorgeous day. Nick and Matt came over and we played far too much fifa. I signed up for twitter.. which i don’t really get to be honest.. i guess it’s since i don’t have a mobile device so it makes it kindof hard to keep updating it. Went to bed far to late(well about 11).

Friday – Started work at Biddys at 6.45. I assumed it was for the delivery, but actually it was just for breakfast. I was pretty tired. Not a bad day, i cut up a load of limes and stuff. The craziest thing happened. I went to get a pint glass from up above, but it was wet and it slipped out my hand, just missed some guy who was leaning over the bar, bounced off the ground and miraculously it didn’t smash! I had visions of this guy covered in blood. Crisis averted.
The best night of our lives..I spent to whole day anticipating it! Unfortunately i forgot to really invite everyone, because I had spent too much time playing fifa the night before. I Finished at 5 and immediately got a pint. It has never tasted so good. Spoke with Roddy for a while, he bought me another pint – so I owe him one and then i left. Made it back to the flat about 645, with people coming round for 7. I assumed people wouldn’t arrive on time, so i could get like 30 mins kip or whatever. Nope. Everyone showed up on time. Worked our way through 2 crates of tenants, and Costa and Matt had a keg. I can’t actually remember what nick was drinking, but it was probably Bulmers. Played fifa, ordered a Chinese – Demolished a Chinese. It was fucking gorgeous. (I’m actually quite tempted to get another one as i write this) Looked and laughed at some old school photos in Karas facebook page, and mike showed us Jaqueline number 7’s photos of our night out.. which she never tagged us in.. Maynard and Devon came round, and i swear to god Maynard is so funny. He brought his collapsible(not convinced thats the right spelling, but spell check says it is) wheelbarrow to the hive so that he could drag some bitch home in it. I beat him at tennis on the wii, but his shit chat is so funny. He called my partner a whore. Naomi I think she was called. We got taxis up to the hive at 1030. The driver was sound, he let me drink. Although he didn’t let Maynard smoke, because it was not a big fat dubbie of Marijuana. Haha. Me and Dom went in first cos aidan was scared about Dom using his ID. We went in and fired some vodka down us. The vodka is actually the worst thing i have ever tasted. It was so rank. And i like glens. They aren’t doing buy one get one free on spirits.. It’s now ‘Buy one.. Get another one a little bit cheaper!’ However, they were doing buy one get one free on Jager. Craig was like ‘can i get 6, no 10, no 14, no 300!’ just shouting constant abuse at the girl. He even offered to buy her one, she said she wasn’t allowed to drink. Yet she came back later and asked for one. It was sophies birthday, so everyone was pretty much out. It was good banter, very good banter. We all ran through and danced to lady gaga, then went back to the bar. The whole bar sang happy birthday, and we were banging and banging. We also sang about Henrik Larsson. Billy Liar was there.. he apparently walked into the bar, seen me, turned and walked right out haha. Tough times. Craig and Aidan pulled..now this is where it gets confusing... A Swede who lives in Denmark and a German.. and got there numbers. The Swede was called Lima. I played Ludo at a Swedish girl with an irish accent’s flat later, and she was called Lima, but it was a different girl.. We think.. they have different phone numbers so it surely can’t be. I don’t really remember anything about the hive after the first hour(this seems to be the norm with the hive). Next thing I know, I’m in a flat which i have no idea where it is, and I’m playing Ludo with an Irish girl who says she’s Swedish, listening to The Libertines. I was so drunk I didn’t have a clue what was going on. The Ludo board was like a roller coaster aswell. Craig phoned me up and i let her speak, she was like a found this phone and i quite like it. Craig was like ‘give me my crusher back’. I then phoned craig from her phone, and was like i lost my phone, but i found this one! Kara apparently phoned me too and i told her i was in my flat and wasn’t sleeping haha. I was pretty close to falling asleep, but she kept making me tell her stories.. i don’t know any stories. I don’t really remember a lot of stuff that happened.. but apparently I told her a story about 3 men and a river. One of them crossed the river and the others stayed on the river bank.... How did i think of that haha? I started to tell her the complete works of harry potter, but she got bored and wanted a story about drugs.. so i told her about harry potter in skins. I also found Sinead O Connors greatest hits.. I’m not sure why it’s called greatest hits... the vast majority of her stuff is absolute garbage. At some stage i think i fell asleep... i honestly was so drunk.

Saturday – Woke up and felt totally fucked. Headed up to the flat around midday. Turned out i had been at the meadows. I had a band practise at 2. Dave was late again. I tried to get some food but failed miserably. I was raging with dave, just giving him one word answers and not really speaking to him. Then he was like ‘il go to mcdonalds for you’.. That made me instantly forgive him. He brought the McDonalds, and it was good. The practise was a struggle. I kept making strange faces and noises. Still sounded alright. Afterwards I was planning to go home for a 20 minute sleep, but we won two free sundaes from McDonalds, so me and Dave went for them. He promised me he would be in the studio between 3 and 5 the next day so i could pick up my bass. The sundaes were ok.. but by this point i was seriously falling asleep. Got home, changed my clothes and went to work. Started at 6, and It was properly busy from 6 until close. I got some soup and a sandwich which went down surprisingly well. Working at biddys on a Saturday night is just like being at Cav.. on a Saturday.. but the tunes are good. I’ve not been to Cav in a while, but i imagine Lady Gaga would be prominent on the set list. Poker Face is such a tune. I was totally running on empty. It was my job to keep the front bar stocked.. so i had to push through a full pub of dancing drunks with 3 crates of magners at a time. That was tough. For the last hour i was on the floor, having to do the same, but with a try of hot glasses. Got away about 2. I got a beast of a kebab. Very nice. Walked home.. bumped into Max and Ross at the same bus stop..they don’t know each other.. Got home, read half a page of my book and KO’d.

Sunday - Woke up a little too early. Went back to bed, then got up again about 1130. Went into town with nick(i wore shorts cos it was nice..however it was very cold) and got myself a hoodie. I was pretty much planning to spend the day chilling, and then going along to the chanter about 9ish for my gig. How wrong I was. Went round to pick up Sam’s drumkit.. hashy let us in.. good lad! Taxi to Andy’s. Then Mick told us there was already a drumkit there. Grr. Then he told me to bring a bass amp. Grr a little notice please. Got my dad to pick me up and took it there. Not much of an issue but a pain. He picked me up in the campervan.. which is actually quite cool, but it’s very cringeworthy. Went into the chanter.. the girl was nice but didn’t really know what they had etc. While this was happening.. Dave(who said he would definitely be at the studio) was telling me he was too tird. “I’m too knackered man.. Actually.. I’m not knackered.. I’m just really high.” To open up his studio and so there was no way i could have my bass for tonight. I mean what the fuck, that’s totally gay. Fair enough he didn’t know the band would cancel, but i need my fucking bass. He also told us(when we thought we needed a drumkit) that there was no way he would hire us his drumkit because he was too stoned. Does he want his business to succeed or what.. I’m sick of trusting him with stuff.. he’s too much of a liability. It’s not just my bass I didn’t have access to.. It’s my whole set up, my leads my tuner, everything that ensures i have what I need to do a good show. Fucking raging. After phoning various people, i ended up using my stagg bass(worth about £50 and it shows) Steel legend lent me his cables, and craig gave me his wee shitty tuner. I felt so fucking amateur. Got down to Chanter for about 830. Mick tells me there’s no mike stands, but he’s just ordered some Scampi so he’l ask some pubs for some after his scampi. I was like, no.. go and find a fucking mike stand. While he went away, I started setting up the PA.. in the cupboard is like 5 mic stands.. When they said there was no mic stands did anyone actually check?? Trying to sort out the PA, so many duff cables etc etc... the microphone wasn’t working.. blab la.. totally stressed.. finally got it all sorted, and i got myself a nice cold pint. Chanter is good.. £1.50 for any drink. Cannot be beaten. Played the set.. it went cool. Afterwards I said I liked the Sugababes better than Girls Aloud, so Andy made me sit on my own and drink a bottle of wine. I wasn’t allowed to rejoin the group til i finished the bottle. That bottle probably convinced me to go out. Stayed at the Chanter till close, then went to the hive. Andy kept buying me tequila. I threw it up. I am no longer drinking vodka in the hive, it is fucking repulsive. I can’t put that shit in my body any more. Apparently some crazy shit was going down. Piggy back fighting on the dance floor, forward rolls during the final countdown; Some old gay guy in a suit andy kept buying drinks for; andy shoving my(used) earplugs up his nose and trying to spit them across the street. It took fucking ages to get home, apparently me and mick had a forward roll competition down niddry street. Andy took his trousers off and declared chamber street “Law Territory”. I went to the All night bakery. The guy was there, but he told me it was shut.. i was like ‘but there’s a pie right there’ “we’re shut” ‘but i can see the pie....’ I got home and made supernoodles and i didn’t set the kitchen on fire! Fucking brilliant.

Next week – I’m basically working all the time. Gigging with Arcane Corps at Studio 24 on Saturday – We’re celebrating craigs birthday. I haven’t played with them for a good month or so, and Remembering the songs may be tricky.. ach well. Get pished. I’m not drinking till Saturday. I need to recover my strength. Have a good week you bunch of cool folk!