If We Can't Break The Silence

Wow – Actually quite a busy week. A good week too. I was working a lot, and I’m bloody knackered cos of it – I also seem to have gotten in the habit of spending loadsof money on crap(amazing) food which isn’t so cool.
Monday – This is the first day I’ve been able to wake up whenever I want, and do nothing for the whole day. Absolute bliss. I was off the phone job because it was Easter Monday. That’s the good thing about working an ‘office’ job. Got up at like 1. Churned out a couple hours of my blog. Takes fucking ages to write. I then went down to the meadows to chill for a bit. Sent a couple texts on my way.. see if anyone else was about. Roisin promptly replied, so I met her and her friend Rachael, and her boyfriend who I think was called Steven. We went and sat in the meadows, it was really nice. Roisin had her alternative easter egg(a bag of dried fruit). It got cold pretty quick.. Well cold considering I was wearing shorts. Camp came down with a bottle of Captain Morgan’s, which tempted me slightly considering I had agreed to not drink for two weeks. I didn’t drink any of it though. Poor Rachael, she couldn’t handle Campbell’s intense measures. We went to find a toilet, forgetting it was a bank holiday. Public toilets were shut so we went to Doctors. It was so warm in there! Took a nice toilet break... Got back to the group and Jason, Liam and some of Twam’s friends had joined us. They had been drinking all day and as such were fairly smashed. We quickly decided to go back to Jasons flat. Sat there and watched father ted. Speaking to some Irish guy, he seemed pretty sound and he offered me a beer.. I said no thanks. He was like ‘you can’t refuse an Irishman when he offers you a beer.. that’s the worst thing you can do’...aaah I don’t wanna drink. I had that can in the end. The guy(Mike) told me a very funny(and very harsh story) about why he had a shit phone. He had smashed his old phone off the bouncer at opium’s head... He did this because he had been absolutely cunted, off the rails sort of mood(as happens) going up and shouting abuse at girls, and throwing drinks over them. He seen this really fat girl and was like ‘1 drink isn’t gonna do’ so he bought 3 pints, went up to the girl and threw them over her. As I said.. harsh, but funny. Jason and Liam were playing some game that was a cartoon and I dunno how it was a game.. Basically a cartoon. A gay Japanese cartoon.. looked cool though. Rachael had a surprisingly big measure of the captain, and it was quite funny to watch.. within two minutes she was pished, rolling about and shouting for someone to put on I Don’t wanna miss a thing. 10 minutes later she was sober again haha. Roisin’s friends left cos one of their party was too drunk, and I think he was wanting to fight me cos i was being a bit smart with him. We decided to depart for the Royal Oak. I was still absolutely freezing in my shorts. Got to the Oak, it’s a really cool place – basically a small room with lots of ugly people and some guy playing guitar. A very cool intimate atmosphere. I had 1 pint. The worst bit was when some boy cracked out a set of bagpipes. The room was so small.. I was like na.. see you later. Went and stood outside. Tried to have some chat with the guy who was running the night.. but he was a twat. Went out later with Rachael and he was sound. Seems all you need is a pretty face. Roisins friends came back, minus the drunk guy who they had apparently just met.. I told the Irish guy I was gonna go home soon because I needed some food.. He went to the shop and bought me a Samosa. Legend.. but I’m still going home! We said our long goodbyes then I went home and slept.

Tuesday – Thank god for the bliss of Monday. I actually got up this morning at 9 and went for a run(a fairly short run as I was totally fucked considering I’ve not ran in weeks), and then went for an essential shop(i just bought crap). Also in this time me and nick got craig some Ipod speakers for his birthday. Back at my phone job 12-6, my email was packed out since I hadn’t checked it since the Wednesday before. I don’t think I could do this full time. But 3 days a week is cool. Hopefully I’l make a half decent wage out of it! I spent a lot of time phoning the same database from the week before.. NO,no,no,no,maybe,no,yes,no,no,no. Great fun. Finished that at 6, had a shave and ran to Biddy’s. The Liverpool game was absolutely crazy. Madness. The guy who plays on Tuesday is seriously average at best.. He plays the tunes..But he doesn’t play them very well. I can’t remember what i did after the shift, I don’t think I went straight home.. But that makes the most sense. Maybe I got a Kebab. Yes.. I think I did. Working so close to Cappadoccia is gonna be the death of me. If I make decent tips, get a kebab. If i don’t make decent tips.. Get a kebab. Aaaah.

Wednesday – I struggled to get up this morning.. No run today. 12-3 phone job.. Not bad. Quick kip, then into Biddys for 5. Not a bad shift.. too many staff on probably. Craig, Nick and Kev came in about 1045. They were all(especially Nick and Kev) smashed. Covered in cider and stuff. It was craigs birthday too. I finished just before 11. Got myself a nice wee snakebite. I’ve not drunk one of them since the days of the holyrood tavern. One sip and my head immediately feels a bit strange. Annie, Roisin, Katy, Marc, Kim, Lois and Mhairi came too – I didn’t realise they were coming! Kim bought us all a Jagerbomb.. Which btw..how much money has she got? That must have been close to £30.. For some reason Marc screamed in my ear, I came pretty close to smacking him, I was raging. Kev was standing there, and he dropped his pint which smashed everywhere. He went up to the bar(presumably to ask for a brush) and came back with another pint. I cleaned it up.. Kim helped. Kev went to the toilet, he came out and Ralph was like ‘is this your mate? He was pissing everywhere’ I was like kev mate.. come on. Kev told me that Ralph was lying, and that he was a wanker. We were just leaving, So i told Ralph sorry, and that we were just going. Kev tried to tell me he was a wanker.. I was like whatever man, let’s go. We left and headed to opium. Me and Nick did our Fifa celebrations to each other.(mine being running around him swinging my arm..I punched him like 3 times). Matt joined the group. He was telling me He’d never seen Nick this pished before.. I was lke bloody hell.. are you nicks mate?? To be fair, he was pretty pished. Kev sang some Man City songs, and we went to opium. Suprised we all got in..to be fair, it is opium. Got a booth(and some vodka).Oh btw, I think i forgot to mention(or maybe I didn’t need to).. but my no drinking thing fell down the toilet. It’s Craig’s birthday!! I think Marc thought I was absolutely raging with him, So he was trying to buy me drinks and be really nice etc.. I wasn’t absolutely raging.. just momentarily angry with him for shouting in my ear.. We got the whole of opium to sing happy birthday to craig.. but it didn’t really work.. some guys came over and tried to shag Roisin.. they were pretty cool but Kev gave them some abuse. He realised Kev was pished and so didn’t fight him. I think he was in the army or something. We called time and went to Liquid faith. Queing for Liquid faith and some girl comes bounding up to me with a smile on her face and shout’s ‘Phil!’ ‘oh sorry i thought you were my manager’.. I can be your manager.. let’s go! So we went in. Managed to blag myself in for £1. This girl had loads of balloons. I went in with her and was like ‘3 questions’ 1. Where’s the toilet? 2. Where’s the bar? 3. Why have you got so many balloons? Met the twins in the toilet. I couldn’t find that girl(who worked at the standing order btw). Bumped into Mick, said hello, then danced with some girl he was with. I was in a generous mood(i dunno why, I’m fucking skint!) so I bought her a drink. It was going on my card, and minimum was £5.. So I got 3.. 1 for me.. 1 for her.. and a communal drink(which she knocked onto the ground) Craig pulled me away to tell me that he’d decked Nicks wee brother.. I was like ‘good one.. now i’m a bit busy’ He kept telling me and I was just like, It’s a funny joke.. but not while I’m trying to get with this girl... I went back to dancing with the girl, some ginger cunt came along and after that she ignored me.. Strange.. Last time I buy anyone a drink ever. Some girl who I think I went to college with(she was fucking fit, spoke to her maybe twice the whole two years I was at college!!!) came over and was like ‘what’s happenin?’ I was still trying to pull that ginger lover and so ignored the ridiculously hot girl. Poor show. Danced with Mick, Kim, Annie, Roisin etc for a bit – Some other ridiculously hot girl came up and was like ‘can I dance with you so it looks like I have friends?’...Yup! Did the nice thing and bought her a drink(going for the 1 for me, 1 for you, 1 to sure approach -) But my card got declined.. Ginger Lover!! She bought me a drink instead which was nice. We were standing outside after the club had closed and I am sure I saw a certain crazy engaged woman who has sent me multiple death threats in the past. I put my hood up and faced the other way. This next bit seriously felt like something out of one of these Jail movies.(or more specifically that episode of Smallville where there’s a jailbreak) You know the scene where there’s a riot going on in the middle of the canteen, and the two rivals are standing at opposite ends, with the big ‘evil’ rival advancing through the crowds towards the good guy, who is probably handcuffed. (I think in Smallville(which is amazing, yet amazingly bad)The evil guy was a red kryptonite infused Clark, and the good guy was Lionel Luthor(who btw, i think is similar to morrisey – in that their both old men, but could kick your cunt in). Anyway, Me and this girl were standing talking, the street was full of revellers who had just left the club The 2 guys to the left of me started fighting, rolling about the floor etc. It started with them, and spread right the way across the street. At this point I was like ‘bird, let’s go’ and we just walked through it all, stepping over bodies on the ground, people getting thrown past us etc. In hindsight, we were probably very lucky to not get hurt. Apparently Mecaniuk got Hospitalised for nothing.. Bastards.
Walked that girl home, bumped into Ian from Biddy’s who was fucked.. Didn’t stay to chat, just kept on walking. On the walk home I noticed that while she had a relatively pretty face, and a smoking hot body, she had a well big nose. Oh well.. Dropped her off, then went up to the ’24 hour’ costcutter. It was fucking shut. I only had like £1 anyway. Met some guy and he was like(in an English accent) ‘Mate, where can I get some food?’ I was like well the all night bakery’s just down there, it might be shut though. I took him down, it was open. To show his gratitude for me showing it to him, He bought me a Sausage roll, Scotch Pie, Doughnut and a Pastry. Absolute legend. I fucking love him. Some guy came in while we were there and asked if he could use his card. The boy was like no. He kept asking every couple of seconds, and the guy who bought me the pie’s and various other stuff was like shut the fuck up mate or I’ll kick your cunt in you jambo fuck(he was wearing a maroon top). I gave Craig a phone to see if they were still up. He was, and was continuing with this ‘Joke’ about him hitting nick’s bro. Turns out it wasn’t a joke. Sounds like he deserved it though.. but that basically put’s a rift between my flatmates.. I’m staying out of it..

Thursday – I did something.. I’m sure of it. I’m just not sure what. Maybe I spent most of the day watching Southpark and Smallville(It’s fucking amazing..both of them! Do you like fishsticks?) The worst thing is that E4 is now showing the advert for the new smallville, which basically shows what I’m just about to watch. Ended up going to my folks for some tea and a bath, I think I stayed up there. Ah yeah.. I was considering going out to see DMH but I was so tired, and after much debate, I fell asleep. Good

Friday – Got up bright and early, The Marvels were meeting with ‘Unscein Records’. The other lads were fucked because they had both gone to see DMH, and had lost many drinking games to Mike and John. Apparently now whenever we play, we have to introduce ourselves as ‘Hi, we’re the Marvels. Dirty Modern Hero are better than us.’ That was for starters, Mick had gotten us the wrong address for the meeting. We got the right address and jumped on a bus down there. Only 20 minutes or so late. The girl on reception... My god.. Her breasts... Basically, they were cool. Very cool. But in general, she was fucking stunning. Went through and met the guy. He seemed to talk a slight amount of nonsense.. His idea was that basically, We give him exclusivity for all Edinburgh gigs in the next 12 months, and he’l put us on at the ark once a month with 5 other bands who agree to it(not quality controlled). We bring 35 people to each gig at £5 a ticket and give all the money to him. In return, He gives us either time in a recording studio, time in a rehearsal studio, or money – all of which will add up to the amount of money we give him first.. ok... Maybe not. I must say I was tempted just for the chance of more opportunities to see that girl on reception. She could probably do a better job of persuading bands to join. I phoned Mike and Steel for our weekly Pizza Hut expedition. Steel never answered, Mike was like ‘Oh i’m at Chloes, I don’t want to move’. So me and Andy went and got the buffet ourselves. Sat down, and some guy who was next to us was like ‘is my crutch in the way where it is’ we were like no, it’s cool. He then bursts into a spiel about how ‘i’m a chef, so i know that when people eat in a restaurant It’s not just about the food, It’s about the space they have to eat’. He then spoke to us for the next hour. Not quite giving us our all important space... He was sitting directly behind Andy, and I was a bit further away – so he was mainly talking to andy.. especially since they were both cockney’s etc. Because of this, Andy then told me he was going to start dropping me into the conversation. “Chris thinks this about that, Don’t you Chris.” And I’m like uh... The best one, which I couldn’t help laughing out loud at, was “What’s that saying you have about spoon’s Chris?” and the guy looks at me, waiting for me to tell him my expression about spoons. Eventually we asked for the bill, and the guy rolls into this ‘joke’ about why haven’t they invented robots for kitchens yet, but he stands up and starts waving his arms at the waitress. Eventually He leaves, and the waitress is like ‘Was he with you?’ We’re like nope.. and then we told her all that he’d been saying to his. She was pretty sound, so we tipped her. Pizza hut.. always an Experience.
I got back to the flat, had a shower, had a shave, went to work! Now that we actually have enough glass collectors working with us – It makes the weekend shift a fair amount easier than during the week.. It’s still tough, and absolutely rammed all the time – But now we can focus on purely serving drinks. On the front bar, If you need a keg changed it’s just a radio call away. You don’t have to leave the bar! Also, having loads of staff on, means that clean up at the end takes no time at all. Which is great. We stayed behind for a pint or 2 after.. A slow pint.. Got home at like 430 or something. I was gonna go up to Maisies, but I assumed they had fallen asleep!(apparently they hadn’t.. gutted). Got home, watched some Smallville.(They start each episode with ‘previously on smallville’ and then show a bunch of clips that have no bearing on what happened in the episode before, it’s just a bunch of stuff that happened before, and it’s not in any context whatsoever.. so you have no idea what’s going on if you miss an episode. Went to bed.

Saturday – Got up pretty late, watched some Smallville and some Southpark or that. Headed to work, It was all good – I was on the back bar meaning I was on keg duties – running up and down the stairs every 20 minutes. I missed pokerface. But luckily the girl played it 3 times.. including 1 minute of it at the end..It’s a good song, but whatever. Hopefully these DJ’s will realise the brilliance of Calvin Harris’ new tune soon enough. Was an alright night.. fairly uneventful(as i remember it.. loadsa shit could’ve gone down). Just got a taxi home after. Got home.. take a guess..watched Smallville!

Sunday – Woke up, stupidly watched an episode of Smallville which I definitely did not have time for! Checked the bus timetables to wherever the fuck I was going(Paintballing in the country!) and realised the only one that wouldn’t make me late was coming to Haymarket in 13 minutes. I got dressed and ran down. Just caught the bus. The bus driver was a dick, made me get off at the wrong stop(it cost £2.40!!) and told me to walk a mile back the way. I realised at about 12.45(we were meeting at 1!) that I had walked a mile in the wrong direction, so I now had 2 miles to walk in 15 minutes. Fuck it, I’m a fast runner, started running. Chow phoned me and said they’d come and pick me up. Thankyou! Paintballing’s pretty good fun. As in.. It’s fairly awesome. I was fairly shite.. To quote Danny, “There’s no rhyme or reason as to where it shoot’s”. It was a very still day, but still the pellets fly all over the place. I’m not actually sure if I hit anyone, but I did provide a lot of covering fire(i.e. not shooting at anything in particular, just keeping the opposition in hiding). My one crowning moment was in a game where we had to touch the opponents barrel, which they were defending from they’re base. From the word go, I sprinted and made it to some cover 3 quarters of the way up the field. Just on the other side of that cover was the barrel. I lay there for a minute or so, waiting for my team to push up. They didn’t. Eventually I was like fuck it, sprinted out(being shot at by about 10 folk) firing my gun and dived ontop of the barrel. The barrel went flying, and I got pummelled. We won! The marshall was like “That was a very good run at the start, have you done paintballing before?” I’m like no. He’s then mutters “that was a very good run at the start”. As I said, I was fairly shit for the rest of the day. At the end the guy said that anyone with any ammo left could have a free for all. Turned out it was just me and this 10 year old boy. We both went behind opposite trees and started trying to get each other. He was being boring and hiding behind a tree, I was like fuck it – Started running in a circle around him – You know, the old circle strafing from Goldeneye(It makes you invincible like the matrix..at least it did on the N64) – I got shot to fuck. He just about hit me in the dick. I’ve got a massive bruise just south. I think I got hit more then than I did throughout the whole day. Got a lift to the bus stop, banged my head on the way out. Maria and stuff picked me up again, and drove me to asda. Again, I hit my head on the way out.. I’m not sure how haha. I went into ASDA and got them to make me a pizza(which I assumed they would cook) Chicken, mushroom, sweetcorn and onion..£2.50. They didn’t cook it so I went to McDonalds. Walked home, cooked my pizza. Quick shower then off to Biddy’s. Again.. This place is always fucking busy. The band were so loud. I really need to start bringing my earplugs with me. Although I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to hear people ordering.. but I don’t care, It’s destroying my ears. Not a bad shift. Up to cappadoccia after, a nice Doner. Although.. This was my first Cappadoccia I have ever had which did not include chips. Still pretty good.. but the chips are a big part you know. Got to Polwarth Roundabout and nicks wee brother was standing in the middle of the roundabout pretending to be abducted by aliens. Up to the flat and finished off my pizza from before. Bed.

Next week – Biddy’s staff night out, Sam’s birthday, work, planning, teaching, learning, decisions, remorse, guilt, snake. I love my snake.