HEY! Your Messing With My Delirium!

I put my budget into full force this week – And it worked pretty well, I only bought 1 pint, and no kebabs. The only money I spent was on food.

Monday – Struggled to get out of bed after work the night before, Supposed to be doing the reception job 12-6, but my internet wasn’t working so I spent the first 2/3 hours trying to fix my internet. Funny thing being that the phone was working, but the internet wasn’t – they both use the same connection to work. It didn’t make any sense, but it was a real pain in the ass. The thing about it is, if I can’t get on the internet then I can’t work, and because I get paid by the amount of work I do, I make less money.. Even though I’m still putting time and effort into getting my connection working. As well as this, It’s a pain for my employers because if I can’t get on the Internet then I can’t work, and that put’s a strain on them which they don’t want, that’s why the employed me. Ha, that last few sentences was just a jumble of rambling. At some point the internet started working again(completely randomly-theres no actual solution) and I worked for a while. Finished at 6, made myself some tea – Pasta I believe(how exciting). Gig with Arcane Corps – I ran down to henrys after my pasta, listening to some tunes on my ipod(which I really need to update – I’ve not put any new music on it since like November or something stupid like that. As awesome as my music taste was back then, I’m getting bored. I needed a poo poo on my way, I got there and we were soundchecking right at that moment. Mysteriously, I didn’t need a poo poo anymore. Maybe some scientist people can do some experiments to discover the difference between what we actually “need” and what we want. Infact, I was meaning to speak to John about this for some reason.. I cant remember why. I’m starting to believe that some people are actually Superman, and when I say ‘someone’ I actually mean everyone in the world. If we “need” to do something, be it suppressing a poo for that vital soundcheck; outrunning someone who’s trying to kick your cunt in; or lifting a fat bastard out of a burning building... then we can actually do it. I realise that I kind shifted my angle a bit there, and I’m not really sure why I went into that..but there you go.
After soundcheck we went to Footlights to get some food for the guys(I had already eaten and I am on a budget so I got some crisps), they got burgers and steak pie and shit. The food looked alright. The place was absolutely dead, Like we were the only folk in there. The bar girl was pretty hot and had a bit of banter(i.e. ‘we’ve only got salt and vinegar crisps’). Back to Henrys where the first band was just starting. Oh my god. I cannot remember when I have been less impressed by a band. It literally slowed my heartrate down. I don’t even know how to describe it. Very very slow metal(i think its called doom) They don’t change chords, the singer does nothing but growl very slowly in a very deep voice(almost like the wind, but very boring and absolutely shit). They played 3 songs in a 45 minute set. Each of them sounded exactly the same. I’m a fan of metal, but I just can’t see how people can like that. We were on next – I must admit, I have been really bad – I’ve been working so much and I’ve not really made the effort to get down to the studio to contribute to the recordings. We had a practise earlier in the day – but I was working so I didn’t make it down. As such, my performance was fairly sloppy(sorry dave!) It didn’t help that they had changed parts of the songs without telling me!(my fault really I guess). The biggest shock of the set was when Chris announced “Down On My Knees!”. We haven’t played that since November..literally. I spent the first few bars thinking frantically ‘how does this go???’ I got it tho!(except for the parts they had changed) After the gig me and andy went up to meet mick at chanter where he was doing the pub quiz on his own. We were going on the radio in the morning and so wanted to have a little team talk to see what we would talk about. I bought my 1 pint of the week. It went down fucking well, I was so tempted for another, but i resisted. By the way, does anyone wanna assemble a team for the chanter pub quiz? The few questions I stayed in for were a piece of piss. I went back to watch the last band(because they were from Greece and had no friends). It was absolutely pissing it down by this stage. I caught the end of the band after ours set. Just as fucking awful to me. Two twin brothers, dressed up like the devil playing speed metal..nothing but drums and guitars. Sounds pretty cool? Not for 45 minutes. Am I too harsh on bands? Call me old fashioned, but I like my bands to play songs with singing...not just a guitar riff/solo for 45 minutes. Stupid. I’m even gonna spell that stoopid. I watched a bit of the greek band, who were pretty cool. Their bass player looked like he was doing a lot of mental stuff(tapping etc) but you couldn’t really hear it.. Again.....I am very harsh on bands.. these guys were fucking awesome at what they were doing...It was really cool! But I was like whatever..boring. Nothing interesting there. I’m such a dick. I left halfway through there set(oh btw, their bassist was a fucking geek. A greek geek haha). Walked home in the pouring rain, got home, had some supernoodles and went to bed.

Tuesday – Woke up early to go and be on the radio, Although while I lay in bed, I realised that I didn’t have enough time to go to Leith, be on the radio, come back and start work all before 12 o clock. I stupidly decided not to go. Anyway, I think 3 people doing the same radio interview is a bit much. It just gets a bit crowded. Still.. It would have been cool to be on the radio. Turns out I would have had enough time anyway. I listened in to the guys – it was pretty cool – although for whatever reason they just lied loads! “we’ve got our CD in ripping records””we did a massive charity gig last month” “we are actually Coldplay, we just put on wigs”. Went to start work and guess what.... the internet wasn’t working again! This time the net was working fine.. the phone would not work! I spent a good hour on a help line, and as nice as the woman was.. she did not help me! Eventually.. After 2 and a half hours.. It started working(again..no explanation whatsoever). So again, this is cutting quite severely into my earnings you know! A load of gash. I ran out of energy after this. I was gonna go to Lina’s to watch the football.. I was also gonna go and meet up with Twamcamallidomcot and go to the hive. In the end I was so tired I decided to watch the football in the flat. This means carrying through my tv from the bedroom to the living room. I spent the first half of the game summoning up the energy(while lying in my bed) to do this. Watched the last 30 mins.. a bit dull. I then watched a seriously shit/brilliant film on some strange channel(no not porn). A teenager(who looks like Tom Cruise gets transferred to a school at some creek. But all the kids there have been brainwashed and are like ‘hello steven’ and then they kick his cunt in. Theres only 3 people who haven’t been brainwashed – Tom Cruise, hot goth girl(turns out it was Katie holmes..maybe) and token stoner. Also theres the ‘janitor’ who all the kids call him a retard and spit on him, but in the end he manages to get all the kids to jump on his car while he drives them into a waterfall(while shouting “HEY TEACHER, LEAVE THEM KIDS ALONE!”..Great and slightly random reference to Pink Floyd).Thats the end of the film. I went to bed not too long after that.

Wednesday – Got up(struggled slightly). Craig had been out the night before, and I heard a girls voice from his room. Hello. Turns out it was just Roisin. phone job 12-3 – The first time this week my internet was working without a hitch! Fucking amazing. Finished the shift, I then spent a fair amount of time playing a league in FIFA. Italian League, I was Juventus – I swear to god I lost every game 1-0. Fucking shit, yet so addictive. Eventually(a lot later than I had been planning) I went up to my folks. I was kindof banking on being offered a Chinese, so when I got there and my mum was like ‘you can have pizza or pasta or a chicken burger’ I kindof ignored the question for a while. I was just getting ready to concede and have some pasta when my dad came in and was like ‘I can get a Chinese if you want?’ Score. Felicity phoned it, she phoned some crap place and it was a very average Chinese! Still a Chinese nonetheless. I watched some Simpsons then had a bath. I was going to watch the football but at 7.30 I realised my parents don’t have sky sports, so I watched some crap programme about kids going to Jamiaca to have their cunt kicked in by a strict mum. After coming down from my bath I was gonna watch some TV, but felicity was watching Desperate Housewifes(even though she has a TV in her room) so I had some food and went to bed. Asleep by 1030, barry as fuck.

Thursday – Woke up having had an epic sleep. My dad did me a fry up which was pretty good. I then walked up to tesco’s, did a bit of a shop. I bought nothing but rubbish really. Doesn’t matter. Went and did some teaching. Came back and played a bit too much fifa. Went to bed, read like a page of my book then fell asleep.

Friday – Covered a shift at the office job during the day. Well, until 3. Around this time I discovered I couldn’t find my phone charger. Where is it? I phoned my dad to see if I had left it there. “No definitely not, without a doubt it’s not here”..ok.. where the fuck is it then!! I went to Biddys for 7. John gave me my watch back! Wahey. Got my break about 845. Just as I was about to sit down and start eating, Andy tells me I’m going to the links and my taxis outside. Cool.. but I’m eating my food first! Had my Bacon and Cheese burger. It was pretty good. Damn good. Went out and the taxi driver moaned about everything the whole way. Basically it was my fault. Everything was my fault. He moaned about the fact he had been waiting there for 20 mins. Not my fault. He moaned that people didn’t realise cars could drive down the cobbles in the grass market. Not My fault. He moaned that I didn’t have a slip. Not my fault. He was just a moany fucking bastard. Went into the Links expecting it to be heaving. Fairly quiet actually. I think they were just short staffed. The links has some crazy assed taps for Caledonian – It was like having a shower. There was karaoke going on. If Aidan fails to be a doctor, he can always run karaoke nights. Sounds like fun. These two guys did ‘Don’t let the sun go down on me’(Elton John, George Michael).. A fucking good version of it! Harmonies and everything.. They had obviously practised. Back to Biddys about 1130. Around this time my phone died.. Just after getting a text from Roisin saying they were in opium. Mike came in to visit me in Biddys, He ordered a pint of Guiness.. in all the years I’ve known him, I have never known him to drink Guiness. He was pretty fucked to be fair. Some bird gave me £5 for being cute. Good girl. It’s kindof hit or miss with the tips really.. either make about £10 or 30p. Good night though. It was broken up quite nicely considering I was moving about every 2 hours. Although because of this, I did hear alot of songs twice. I decided to spend my tips at Opium. Hayden and Kenny were there, Hayden showed me that he had a girls stockings on his arm. Mike and Steel and Lad were there too. According to Steel it was ‘Hoaching with fanny’ upstairs.. It was alright.. although I wouldn’t say hoaching. Dave T was there, and he spent about 30 minutes trying to get served. Funny. Rachael now works on the bar! Roisin, Laura, Kim, Max, Liam, Henderson were there too. So was Leanne Rimes and her friend who likes Frightened Rabbit. So, considering it’s opium.. There was a fair crew there. Quite impressed by it actually. Hazel showed up at some stage too! I spent all my tips on vodka, we then went for a bit of a dance. Danced to a bruce springsteen song. Or maybe it was a guy who is very similar to him... I can’t remember what the song was. It’s a tune tho. Kindof like dancing on the ceiling(except not by lionel Ritchie). It looks like the barman I don’t like very much has been turned into a superstar dj. Congratulations. Sincerely. We decided there was a party happening at Polwarth. Whether it be my place or steels, so we headed that way. I gave Leanne a very fast lift through the grassmarket. Full speed ahead. We lost Dave T, and the girls on the way across. Mike went home cos he was totally fucked. Leanne and her friend decided to go home. Steel was cheesing cos he ‘beat’ mike, held that girls hand and kissed her on the cheek. Me and steel lost everyone and started walking back to his. We met two people who were mates of his, and we walked back to steels. We did take a fair amount of time, and my phone was dead. We got back to steels, went into the kitchen – sitting in a nice line was Dave, Roisin, Laura and Kim and Liam. How the fuck did you get here! Turns out ben had let them in. Mike gave them directions(they thought he was there already) They rang the buzzer, thinking it was mike. They asked ‘can we come in?’ Ben was like yeah sound, no problem. Me and steel pissed ourselves at that. One of his mates shared round some beer. And everyone smoked some weed. I didn’t. We danced about till 7am, then went back to mine. My bed was full. Liam went off to get some crazy train to Aberdeen.

Saturday - Seriously didn’t get that much sleep. We went to the meadows at like 11! Got a Wrap from the Wrap shop. It was damn good. I walked back to the flat for about 1230 to watch the football. Celtic fairly hammered Aberdeen. Totally addicted to FIFA, I played a couple of games then went to work for 5. The Rugby was on. Leinster vs Munster. I couldn’t give a shit. There was a lot of people who could however, and thus the place was fucking heaving. One of the teams fucking humped the other one. After that alot of people left. The DJ started right after the game(probably about 7 oclock as apposed to the usual 10 o clock. Because of this, throughout the night Poker Face and La Roux were probably played about 6 or 7 times haha. To be honest, if I was a DJ i would probably to this too. Except there would be a lot of Sinead o Connor mixed in there aswell. I discovered that Delirium is a tune. HEY! You’re messing with My Delirium! It was an alright night. I had a breakfast for my tea. STRANGE. The place was pretty dead(not actually dead..but considering it was a Saturday night...)I went to the toilet(disabled one was engaged so i went to the boys). It looked as if 2 guys in there were maybe fighting. I kept my eye on it. Thing is, I think one of them was just being a dick. He was dressed in a suit, and after the other boy left he just stood looking into the mirror, flicking bits of water into his hair and muttering ‘you look amazing’. I watched him with disgust, then walked out. I told john about it. He made me laugh, but I can’t utter why because John will probably lose his job. It was so fucking funny though. Good lad. The night finished, and we got away pretty quick. I went straight to my bed.(I may have played fifa first)

Sunday – I slept during the day – Fucking great!! Got up, went to farmfoods with craig(bought a lot of crap) I then watched the second half of the huns. Fucking huns. I think I started work at 6 or something. It was pretty quiet. Or should I say totally dead. No worry. Me and Ralph cleaned up the keg room. After I had done the outside furniture, I came back in and it became fucking heaving. Like properly heaving. At least as busy as Saturday – except we had half the staff on. I basically spent the whole shift washing glasses. It was fucking great. I decided to start wearing earplugs when working on the back bar – because it’s so fucking loud! Worked a treat, and I could still hear what people wanted to drink! I was fucking knackered/and a bit wet. Straight to bed!!!!