Right - I am aware that I am almost 4 weeks behind (or actually 4 weeks) with my blog. I am sorry. However, I if I don´t blog about this now, then I probably won´t remember.
I´m touring Spain for the next two weeks, and so I have decided to try and make daily updates (Did not work! I am back in Edinburgh!! But nonetheless I am determined to finish it soon) to try and capture all the mayhem. Hive boys on tour(Sung to the tune of girls on film) - I will try and catch up with the rest once I get back, cos there is some good shit that happened!
Day 1 - Friday - Woke up absolutely smashed, my phone was out of battery and my buzzer was ringing. The night before was my birthday, and the night before was the flat party. I was fucked. After a few minutes of the bell ringing, I immediately thought ´oh fuck, I´ve slept in and missed my flight!´It was just lucy ringing to give me my birthday present. A pair of flip flops and a Super Turbo Ring. Pretty cool. Except the flip flops dont fit... It was like 1030, I had no idea what was going on. I still had to do loads of shit for Spain but I couldnt think what. It was quite funny. Spoke to dad and he said he was coming at 1230. By the time I got in the shower it was already 1130. I decided to shower with the door open, because I really wanted to listen to linkin park. I spent ages on the phone trying to top up my travel card, but it didnt work. Dad picked me up then. I just picked up loadsof shit and took it downstairs. Drove to Craigs and picked him up. All good. The tom tom was giving directions my dad didnt want to follow... We made it to aidans and picked up him and dom. Aidan had the flight details, so I confirmed with him ´Glasgow Airport yeah?´He replied ´Yeah´- Nothing comical about it... Drive through to the Airport was sound, talking about the night before etc. Just as were pulling up at Glasgow Airport i said ´We were at Prestwick last year werent we? I dont think I´ve been here before´. Aidan goes ´No, We were at Glasgow last year...But Prestwick this year.´Umm no..Were at glasgow this year and were at prestwick last year. Aidan says ´we are at prestwick this year, Im not joking..´What the fuck.. You said glasgow. ´I thought you were joking when you asked...´Why the fuck would I joke about that, it was a serious question! Fuck, are you kidding. So we then had to drive to Prestwick airport which was 30 miles away, literally as we pulled up at Glasgow airport. Aidan probably performs surgery on 3 people a week, yet he doesent notice that we are driving to the wrong airport. Doctors. Well the car was pretty quiet for the next wee while. I changed the tom tom to spanish which annoyed my dad a bit, but on the whole he took it pretty well. That was our all day breakfast out the window.....
Made it to the airport and theres A policeman with a fucking machine gun is standing there...Dont shoot! Went in and got in the queue. I went for the toilet and almost bought a really cool Lisbon lions T shirt. We started singing ´Take it easy´ For some reason. We realised that not everyone’s bags were within the limit. Namely Dom´s who had packed 6 kilos of underwear. we distributed it evenly between us and went on through.Got through customs and The man gave me the No feeling. He gave Aidan the Yes feeling so it was alright. He also seemed slightly confused as to why we each had 4 pairs of boxers in our carry on luggage. I felt fairly hungover at this stage. We got some food - A shite toastie, a bottle of coke and a yoghurt. We got called to the plane before it finished. I didnt have time to eat all my food. So i decided to take it on board and eat it on the plane. I asked the woman if it was OK for me to take it on the plane. We then decided it would be funny if I carried this yoghurt all the time on our holiday. In all our photos there would be just pictures of me with a yoghurt. Also, I was to ask anyone I could if it was ok for me to take the yoghurt with me - Taxi drivers, bar staff, hostel keeps, anyone. The woman just before we got on the plane wasnt sure I should take it on. I persuaded her with a convincing ´Go on!´. Got settled on the plane, the pilot was pished. There was some fat bitch next to me who ended up being sick the whole time. Still had my yoghurt. The plane took off to a resounding cheer. My throat was so dry for the whole flight, I was gasping on a drink the whole time. The trolley woman started at the front of the plane and worked her way down to the back(where we were). This took 2 hours because some fucking stag cunts kept stopping her to get vodka. I was raging, and in dire need of a drink. I finally got it, and it was something ridiculous like £3 for a miniature can of coke(like the ones you used to get in Woolworths). Downed it in 1 and continued being thirsty. Aidan taught me the phrase 'Il Y a problem con yogur?' 'is there a problem with the yoghurt?' Awesome. Pretty smooth flight overall, but the co-pilot pushed the pilot just as he was touching down, nose dive straight into the ground. It's all good, we shook it off. Got off the plane. I considered asking the customs officer about my yoghurt, but i thought he might shoot me. I asked the taxi driver and he gave me a look that said 'fuck off you dick'. Got to our hostel, Maximo Park showed us our room and told us what there was to do. Not a bad place. Got settled in and showered. My aftersun bottle had exploded over my bag. Gay. I decided I couldnt be arsed with this yoghurt business anymore so i binned it.
So we were all starving to get some food and a few drinks, We headed out and about in malaga in search. Found a wee place where we sat down in the square and ordered quatro cervesa and quatro hamburguesas. We were pretty hungry, so the guys got hot dogs and I got a spanish omelette(potato, served in toasted bread..pretty cool) We discovered a slightly strange spanish custom(I am going to say this now, and i mean no offense to anyone, but its true - The spanish are weird, and as time went on, they kept getting weirder), If 4 people order, they will typically serve 3 meals, then the 4th one 5 minutes later...we just couldnt figure it out. It always seemed to be dom that got the short straw aswell. Having been my birthday the night before, I was struggling to drink and eat. The beer was alright like. After waiting for ages, we asked for la quenta. The bill. It is nearly impossible in spain to take away food. If you want a coke or a sandwich you have to sit in and ask for la quenta. Becomes a pain in the ass. We met this seemingly spanish guy, who asked if we were english.. we replied 'no scottish!'(dunno, we decided to big up the patriotic thing!) He then shouted in an english accent ' Ah Scottish'. Strange. We went into his bar and got 4 litres of Mojito. For some reason. They were fucking massive. Our man invited us for a shot, saying 'welcome to malaga'. Awesome. I like this place already. The women were fucking unbelievable. In scotland(no offense to scottish girls btw) we rate girls 1-10, 10 being the highest. In spain, they are rated 9.1-10. With an average spanish girl being a 9.5 or 9.6. Honestly, it’s amazing. I decided there were 2 spanish phrases I needed to learn(neither of which I have learnt) - Number 1 - I got bitten by a shark but I survived with only a light graze because I'm so awesome. Number 2 - You are gorgeous, will you marry me?. Another strange thing about the Spaniards.. they all go fucking insane to 'I will survive'(i.e. as long as i have weetabix), in a manner similar to 500 miles for us scots. It was bloody insane, we were just standing there being like what the fuck is going on?
We went for a walk to find some cool club to find some hot bitches, we struggled...but we did come across a few people walking about with plastic cups. eventually we found the epicentre. A big street had been closed off by the gay police and hundreds of people were drinking on it. Awesome...but its 2am and we have no vodka(another thing, time goes crazily fast). We wandered about aimlessly for a while until we found a chinese run newsagent who gave us vodka. Good effort. Street we! Drank on this party for a while... but we had noone to talk to, and we couldnt speak to the hot spanish because we didnt speak spanish...except aidan, but he was too shy(really?) We also realised that a lot of the people here couldnt be much older than 16, and there was definately some who were a lot younger. Different cultures I guess... A jailbait culture. good effort. We drank some vodka...mine was ridiculously strong.. Eventually decided to call it a night and head back.
A successful night, however slightly disappointing that we didnt speak to anyone other than Maximo park and the waiter, and that cool guy from the bar. I love college.
Saturday, 13 June 2009
Monday, 8 June 2009
He's Holding Back He's Hiding
Again, due to the busyness/laziness of me, this blog is outdated by a good couple of weeks. All I can do is apologize, but at least I am writing it, and I am trying to catch up! Gig on the Monday night – which turned out to be pretty mad, and pretty much just working the rest of the time!
Monday – Worked the phone job during the day.. Woke up at my parents and got a lift up the road. I believe I bought some essential items from morrisons. Phone job was alright – I can’t remember if there was issues with my internet connection(actually I think this may have been one of the rare occasions when there wasn’t) Just as I was finishing at 6(like5.59), some crazy woman phoned me and ranted absolute shit for 15 minutes. Her husband was abusing her because some guy from ‘my’ company had come round earlier in the day to do something, but she hadn’t paid attention to what he was doing, so she couldn’t tell her husband what the guy had been doing, so he was calling her an idiot. How this is my problem I have no idea. Strange woman. Finished up and made myself some tea. I cant remember what I had(this is like 2 weeks ago!). I was bored with the music on my ipod so I plugged it into Craigs laptop to get some of his tunes on it. It gave me 2 of marcs songs(which I’m sure are great! But not quite what I had in mind). Something funny went on with Craigs laptop too. Oh well.. Spotify, Can you feel the love tonight! I got to the gig about 3 hours after I was supposed to...oops. The guys soundchecked without me apparently. It made them appreciate how lost they would be without me. Andy produced a setlist which our management had emailed to us, insisting that we play those songs. Luckily it was almost identical to our usual setlist. If anyone has ever been in sneaky petes, Its fucking tiny!(pretty cool too!) The headline band, Amazing Baby had no joke these massive orange stack amps, filled half the place. Pretty funny though. Pretty cool too, I got a beasting bass tone. I did feel sorry for all the punters who didn’t have earplugs. The bar had a Jager machine. Which is essentially an optic the size of a fridge. Slightly pointless, but really cool. The barman was just covering for his mate, so I took it upon myself to ask him as many awkward questions about the venue as possible. We had a marvellous chat about the future of the band... although it’s typically all talk and we probably wont follow through with it that much. We shall try. Craig and Marc came down. We used craig’s I pod touch phone along with my skills as a hacker(I am W32) to break into sneaky petes wireless, and find out the answer to the question ‘which male sang ‘a whole new world’ and beauty and the beast’(£1 for whoever can give me the answer, and craig..you are not qualified to enter). The band on before us were kindof cool. A number followed by a word, so it was something like ‘6 degrees’ or ’25 chairs’. We went on after that. Managed to sort out our rider with the promoter... giving me 2 free bottles of Tyskie. Mick decided(i didn’t realise he had been drinking all day, and I did encourage him in this) to go for 2 jagerbombs. We played the set(we had not practised for fucking ages!), it pretty well. Mostly. The first time I noticed something wasn’t quite right was during the outro to 3 versions of time – We have pushes while Mick plays some fancy thing on the keyboard. Micks part just sounded like a mash of notes, and I was a bit like wtf. Then in our last song In, theres a big fancy piano intro. Mick spent 5mins trying to remember how to play the intro. Normally I would be pissed off, but it was so funny. He didn’t know what key to play in, or where to play the notes. In the end we decided to just skip the intro and go right into the song. That went fine, although his piano solo at the end was kindof ‘interesting’. Went up and got my second Tyskie after the set. Amazing baby were on next, they had supported MGMT on their tour or something, it was pretty busy. I half listened to the band from the back of the room. They seemed ok. After their set I was chatting to one of the guys – For 1, he had a metallica T shirt on, good effort! He was like ‘oh god, I can’t believe I threw up’ I was like, oh right earlier or that? ‘no, onstage during our set’. It turns out that 2 of them threw up on stage because they were so fucked. That is so awesome. By this stage I was getting quite up for partying. I had convinced Craig aswell, although Marc went home. Met some of Micks mates, Kat and VAG. What an awesome name, Vagina. We got some Jagerbombs. Cheap cheap cheap. Nice barman. We then went to the hive. We basically had all our equipment with us, but the cloakroom at the hive was shut. Luckily JT appreciated our issue and put them all away for us. We then went hammering onto Jagerbombs. Proper style. We invited the bar girl to our party cos she looks like someone we know. Also, she was hot. We asked the dj to put on various songs, including Can you feel the love tonight, Britney Spears, and Black Cherry(whatever that song is.. ). The DJ said ‘NO rock’ and then went on to play Black cherry(which is quite clearly a rock song). Yet he would not play any of the others we requested. We danced around a broken glass for a bit, then went to drink some more. I kindof lost track of what happened the rest of the night, I cant really think what happened... all I know is that I spent under £10.. and craig spent over £40... I probably owe him a drink or 2! Anyway, various things happened and We ended up in Craigs room with 2 lesbians(or bisexuals as it were, although they claimed they loved each other..) Unfortunately, Nick had his exam the next day, and this was the one night that we weren’t definitely not to bring people back. But lesbians!! Oh well, He passed!
Tuesday – Worked the phone job 12-6, as I said I think this was a rare occasion where my net was working. I spent most of the day listening to different versions of Can you feel the love tonight, and at the same part of each version(Why won’t he be the king I know he is) I would stand up and put my arms in the air. Totally fucked likes! I don’t think I did much that night(this is the trouble, this actually happened almost a month ago!)
Wednesday – Phone job during the day... I have a feeling my net connection started to fuck up... pretty substantially. Back at the old EICC for a night shift. I cant remember what happened really, It was pretty a pretty dull event though. Barely got away on time at 2 oclock. But I did, so it was ok.
Thursday – I’m just going to try and avoid writing stuff that I cant remember, apologies.. But I really want to be caught up before I go away on holiday(that means 4 blogs in 2 days. (p.s. its not going to happen!) I taught in the afternoon, don’t know what else.
Friday – Worked as a host in the morning, It was pretty good seeing everyone again(everyone was talking about my hair, which I got cut fucking ages ago!) I worked at Biddys that night. Some bird gave me £10 tips! What a legend. I love people who tip. Kara Hazel and Lucy came into visit me. They got fucked up. They were like ‘can we get a shot please’. I gave them half tequila half sambuca, loaded with bitters(which is apparently poisonous). They danced with some Irish guys, who then started shouting at me for drinks. ‘Chris’ ‘Chris’. They were all pretty fucked, but Hazel was absolutely wrecked. She came up again and could barely stand haha. I gave her some water. I looked over, and they were in the corner, with Hazel looking like she was gonna throw up on the floor. I shouted at Kara to get her out of there. So she did. Ralph was saying that whenever my mates come in they just get totally fucked out their tits. To be fair, that is what we do. Maybe a little too often. Some guy totally trumped Hazels close call with the puke, by pissing against a pillar inside Biddys. I kicked his cunt in. What a twat. Lucy was stotting about after, so I told her she could get a taxi with me. I went in to book the taxi, Came out and she was gone. Oh well. They ended up at opium and had some carnage. Sounds quite funny actually. Hazel was funny though.
Saturday – Worked at biddys at night. I think I watched some kind of football during the day. John had finished his exams and was happy. Speaking to Mikey and he was saying how fucked my friends were, as well as that he could tell my sister a mile away. Average shift as I remember. Went home to sleep after.
Sunday – Again, I may have watched some football. Covered a shift at the links bar. Was alright, A lot quieter than Biddy’s, good for a change. Met a couple cool people. Some drunk guy made me go through James bond films in order, and give the year and the actor who played james bond. Inevitably, I was shite. Some French cunts were in to watch the French football. I got a burger for tea...With egg, haggis and tattie scone on it! Very messy..but awesome. I thought I was on until close, but I got let away at 11. Mike had text me saying they were at cav and I should come down. I assumed it would be DMH, Jakil, and various other people who had been to the gig. It was Mike and John, plus Duncan, duncans bird, Chloe, and her mate. I fucking hate cav. I am never going again. I paid £7 to get in!(I cant believe I actually paid that!). It was shit. John spotted me a £10 for the night cos I couldn’t be arsed going to the cash machine. Checkout number 7(Jaqueline) was there with a couple friends, Ruben, and Jewel(i though her name was Jules until she added me to facebook!such a cool name). I walked back with them, cos mike was hiding in a bush with number 7. Btw, he was being a dick for some reason. Jewel’s feet were hurting, so I offered to carry her, but instead she walked along the (wet) street with no shoes on. Ruben for some reason, decided to take his shoes off too. But insisted on walking along the middle of the road. Also, Ruben thought my name was Courgette...I didnt bother correcting him. Got back to mine and chilled for a bit, talked about cereal deals in morrisons and the like. Eventually Mike and Jaqueline arrived. Mike was quite the gentleman and took the supersleeping bag for himself. I gave Jaqueline a variety of fur garments to keep her warm. I listened to can you feel the love tonight while I slept. Awesome.
Next week – Kara’s last week in town, and I think I see more of her this week than I have done in the past 6 months. I visit dynamic earth, play a gig. Rugby final at the weekend..fucking nightmare. I’m going to really try hard to get up to date! Keep the faith!
Monday – Worked the phone job during the day.. Woke up at my parents and got a lift up the road. I believe I bought some essential items from morrisons. Phone job was alright – I can’t remember if there was issues with my internet connection(actually I think this may have been one of the rare occasions when there wasn’t) Just as I was finishing at 6(like5.59), some crazy woman phoned me and ranted absolute shit for 15 minutes. Her husband was abusing her because some guy from ‘my’ company had come round earlier in the day to do something, but she hadn’t paid attention to what he was doing, so she couldn’t tell her husband what the guy had been doing, so he was calling her an idiot. How this is my problem I have no idea. Strange woman. Finished up and made myself some tea. I cant remember what I had(this is like 2 weeks ago!). I was bored with the music on my ipod so I plugged it into Craigs laptop to get some of his tunes on it. It gave me 2 of marcs songs(which I’m sure are great! But not quite what I had in mind). Something funny went on with Craigs laptop too. Oh well.. Spotify, Can you feel the love tonight! I got to the gig about 3 hours after I was supposed to...oops. The guys soundchecked without me apparently. It made them appreciate how lost they would be without me. Andy produced a setlist which our management had emailed to us, insisting that we play those songs. Luckily it was almost identical to our usual setlist. If anyone has ever been in sneaky petes, Its fucking tiny!(pretty cool too!) The headline band, Amazing Baby had no joke these massive orange stack amps, filled half the place. Pretty funny though. Pretty cool too, I got a beasting bass tone. I did feel sorry for all the punters who didn’t have earplugs. The bar had a Jager machine. Which is essentially an optic the size of a fridge. Slightly pointless, but really cool. The barman was just covering for his mate, so I took it upon myself to ask him as many awkward questions about the venue as possible. We had a marvellous chat about the future of the band... although it’s typically all talk and we probably wont follow through with it that much. We shall try. Craig and Marc came down. We used craig’s I pod touch phone along with my skills as a hacker(I am W32) to break into sneaky petes wireless, and find out the answer to the question ‘which male sang ‘a whole new world’ and beauty and the beast’(£1 for whoever can give me the answer, and craig..you are not qualified to enter). The band on before us were kindof cool. A number followed by a word, so it was something like ‘6 degrees’ or ’25 chairs’. We went on after that. Managed to sort out our rider with the promoter... giving me 2 free bottles of Tyskie. Mick decided(i didn’t realise he had been drinking all day, and I did encourage him in this) to go for 2 jagerbombs. We played the set(we had not practised for fucking ages!), it pretty well. Mostly. The first time I noticed something wasn’t quite right was during the outro to 3 versions of time – We have pushes while Mick plays some fancy thing on the keyboard. Micks part just sounded like a mash of notes, and I was a bit like wtf. Then in our last song In, theres a big fancy piano intro. Mick spent 5mins trying to remember how to play the intro. Normally I would be pissed off, but it was so funny. He didn’t know what key to play in, or where to play the notes. In the end we decided to just skip the intro and go right into the song. That went fine, although his piano solo at the end was kindof ‘interesting’. Went up and got my second Tyskie after the set. Amazing baby were on next, they had supported MGMT on their tour or something, it was pretty busy. I half listened to the band from the back of the room. They seemed ok. After their set I was chatting to one of the guys – For 1, he had a metallica T shirt on, good effort! He was like ‘oh god, I can’t believe I threw up’ I was like, oh right earlier or that? ‘no, onstage during our set’. It turns out that 2 of them threw up on stage because they were so fucked. That is so awesome. By this stage I was getting quite up for partying. I had convinced Craig aswell, although Marc went home. Met some of Micks mates, Kat and VAG. What an awesome name, Vagina. We got some Jagerbombs. Cheap cheap cheap. Nice barman. We then went to the hive. We basically had all our equipment with us, but the cloakroom at the hive was shut. Luckily JT appreciated our issue and put them all away for us. We then went hammering onto Jagerbombs. Proper style. We invited the bar girl to our party cos she looks like someone we know. Also, she was hot. We asked the dj to put on various songs, including Can you feel the love tonight, Britney Spears, and Black Cherry(whatever that song is.. ). The DJ said ‘NO rock’ and then went on to play Black cherry(which is quite clearly a rock song). Yet he would not play any of the others we requested. We danced around a broken glass for a bit, then went to drink some more. I kindof lost track of what happened the rest of the night, I cant really think what happened... all I know is that I spent under £10.. and craig spent over £40... I probably owe him a drink or 2! Anyway, various things happened and We ended up in Craigs room with 2 lesbians(or bisexuals as it were, although they claimed they loved each other..) Unfortunately, Nick had his exam the next day, and this was the one night that we weren’t definitely not to bring people back. But lesbians!! Oh well, He passed!
Tuesday – Worked the phone job 12-6, as I said I think this was a rare occasion where my net was working. I spent most of the day listening to different versions of Can you feel the love tonight, and at the same part of each version(Why won’t he be the king I know he is) I would stand up and put my arms in the air. Totally fucked likes! I don’t think I did much that night(this is the trouble, this actually happened almost a month ago!)
Wednesday – Phone job during the day... I have a feeling my net connection started to fuck up... pretty substantially. Back at the old EICC for a night shift. I cant remember what happened really, It was pretty a pretty dull event though. Barely got away on time at 2 oclock. But I did, so it was ok.
Thursday – I’m just going to try and avoid writing stuff that I cant remember, apologies.. But I really want to be caught up before I go away on holiday(that means 4 blogs in 2 days. (p.s. its not going to happen!) I taught in the afternoon, don’t know what else.
Friday – Worked as a host in the morning, It was pretty good seeing everyone again(everyone was talking about my hair, which I got cut fucking ages ago!) I worked at Biddys that night. Some bird gave me £10 tips! What a legend. I love people who tip. Kara Hazel and Lucy came into visit me. They got fucked up. They were like ‘can we get a shot please’. I gave them half tequila half sambuca, loaded with bitters(which is apparently poisonous). They danced with some Irish guys, who then started shouting at me for drinks. ‘Chris’ ‘Chris’. They were all pretty fucked, but Hazel was absolutely wrecked. She came up again and could barely stand haha. I gave her some water. I looked over, and they were in the corner, with Hazel looking like she was gonna throw up on the floor. I shouted at Kara to get her out of there. So she did. Ralph was saying that whenever my mates come in they just get totally fucked out their tits. To be fair, that is what we do. Maybe a little too often. Some guy totally trumped Hazels close call with the puke, by pissing against a pillar inside Biddys. I kicked his cunt in. What a twat. Lucy was stotting about after, so I told her she could get a taxi with me. I went in to book the taxi, Came out and she was gone. Oh well. They ended up at opium and had some carnage. Sounds quite funny actually. Hazel was funny though.
Saturday – Worked at biddys at night. I think I watched some kind of football during the day. John had finished his exams and was happy. Speaking to Mikey and he was saying how fucked my friends were, as well as that he could tell my sister a mile away. Average shift as I remember. Went home to sleep after.
Sunday – Again, I may have watched some football. Covered a shift at the links bar. Was alright, A lot quieter than Biddy’s, good for a change. Met a couple cool people. Some drunk guy made me go through James bond films in order, and give the year and the actor who played james bond. Inevitably, I was shite. Some French cunts were in to watch the French football. I got a burger for tea...With egg, haggis and tattie scone on it! Very messy..but awesome. I thought I was on until close, but I got let away at 11. Mike had text me saying they were at cav and I should come down. I assumed it would be DMH, Jakil, and various other people who had been to the gig. It was Mike and John, plus Duncan, duncans bird, Chloe, and her mate. I fucking hate cav. I am never going again. I paid £7 to get in!(I cant believe I actually paid that!). It was shit. John spotted me a £10 for the night cos I couldn’t be arsed going to the cash machine. Checkout number 7(Jaqueline) was there with a couple friends, Ruben, and Jewel(i though her name was Jules until she added me to facebook!such a cool name). I walked back with them, cos mike was hiding in a bush with number 7. Btw, he was being a dick for some reason. Jewel’s feet were hurting, so I offered to carry her, but instead she walked along the (wet) street with no shoes on. Ruben for some reason, decided to take his shoes off too. But insisted on walking along the middle of the road. Also, Ruben thought my name was Courgette...I didnt bother correcting him. Got back to mine and chilled for a bit, talked about cereal deals in morrisons and the like. Eventually Mike and Jaqueline arrived. Mike was quite the gentleman and took the supersleeping bag for himself. I gave Jaqueline a variety of fur garments to keep her warm. I listened to can you feel the love tonight while I slept. Awesome.
Next week – Kara’s last week in town, and I think I see more of her this week than I have done in the past 6 months. I visit dynamic earth, play a gig. Rugby final at the weekend..fucking nightmare. I’m going to really try hard to get up to date! Keep the faith!
Tuesday, 26 May 2009
When I got home on monday night...As Drunk as Drunk Could Be....
Hmm.. All this shit happened like 2(3) weeks ago, so forgive me if it’s not 100% accurate – I’m doing my best to remember what happened, but something tells me it shall not be easy.
Monday – No idea.. I was plagued by internet problems at the phone job, a real pain in the ass.. and theres no solution.. It will just randomly start working. I think I spent a lot of time on the phone to various support teams, trying to get it fixed.. but it just was not happening! I’m not 100% sure on this, but I probably went to bed pretty early, or went up to my folks or something.
Tuesday – Similar internet problems as well. I have no idea what happened for the rest of the day.. probably bed early. Watched the football i think. Or not.
Wednesday – Internet problems blab la... Gay as fuck. Mike phoned me up and was like can i come over to watch the football.. yeah. He then phoned me and was like can I come over now. ‘I have a story to tell you’. Well tell me a bit, and i’ll get the rest when you come over. ‘well.. I got kicked out my house’ ok, see you soon. He came over and it turned out he had been kicked out of his house for battering his dad. ‘warning shots’. Fucking crazy bastard. He chummed me into town to deposit some cheques, we went to McDonalds. Played some fifa, played some Smash Bros. I do not play that game enough. It is cracking. Sonic is a machine(a speed machine) He’s awesome. We got some pizza and watched the football. Actually I got a kebab. Picked up some beers from steels house, which mike then dropped all over the pavement and got them dirty and shit. A kind gentleman helped us pick them up. Devoured the kebab. Since the beers were dirty, we drank them in pint glasses. Major fucking head haha. Awesome. Twam and Camp brought a bottle of Captain Morgan’s over.(cos its got a fucking pirate on it. Btw, i don’t like pirates that much)I was going to get some limes, but I forgot/couldn’t be arsed. I don’t like drinking Rum without limes. Drank it anyway. Listened to some Katy Perry. Our plan had been to just drink that, for a cheap night in. Mike wanted to go out. We decided to go out. Craig came too. We got a taxi to the hive. Mike wanted to leave. ‘not happenin mate’ Got a drink from Jagerbird. Left. To be fair, it was dead. Went down to faith. Bumped into my sister and this weird manwoman. Looks like a girl. Bumped into Giselle and Sean in faith, Mikey was there too..pretty fucked. Within 5 mins of being there, mike said he was going out for a minute.. we never seen him again. Faith was pretty gash. Spent more money than planned, got quite drunk. I don’t like faith that much. Some guy was chatting Roisin up, Laura used a signal to see if she was alright. She misread the signal, so I went over and got this massive bouncer and told him the guy was harassing my friend. I then realised Laura had misread the signal. Told the bouncer I would take care of it and keep him in the loop. Craig got caught by the bouncer shagging some slag in the girls toilet. He didn’t throw him out, instead he told the barstaff who then started pointing and laughing at craig, who was then like ‘can we go now...’ Got a taxi home. Played some titanic music(probably quite loud..but not too loud..) woke nick up. Mike came in at some stage... fuck knows where he’d been. Crazy bastard. Roisin gave birth to me on craigs sofa bed, not sure what happened, but fell asleep.
Thursday – Spent some time in the morning feeling hungover. Roisin was going in to Uni to discuss a particularly bad essay with her tutor... she left the essay at mine. Oops. Me and Mike decided to go to pizza hut for the weekly feast(we are failing miserably). We didn’t go, got some rolls and made some bacon rolls. Mike didn’t eat any so i eat them(it was a struggle, I was fucking hungover). Played a bit of Fifa, a bit of Smash bros. I went to do some teaching. It was really strange.. all of a sudden the lad seems to have gotten great. I was telling him stuff for weeks that he just couldn’t seem to grasp.. and all of a sudden he seems to have got it. Good lad. Got back and I was going to this Born to be wide thing with Sam and stuff. He told me to head for his for 20 past 7. He actually meant 20 past 6. Therefore I was late. Every month I get an email about Born to Be Wide, it’s a meeting place for the Edinburgh music scene, they always have good people speaking and it looks really interesting – Every time, I get the email the night before! And I always have something planned! This was the first time I could make it. It was really cool, Carrie was there – Not seen her in an age. We both wished that we had brought a pen and paper, it was all really interesting stuff... I can barely remember a word of it now. Haha. However, I did have quite a serious revelation – I want to be a musician, it’s what I want to do with my life... I want to make a living working in the music industry. At this point in my life, I am putting almost no effort into this.. I’m focusing on paying the bills, I don’t have any energy to put into being a successful musician. This is not cool, and it’s time to change. Ultimately, I would love to play bass in a massive touring band – Like Christina Aguilera or something – Some awesome pop band. Time to turn things around. Waited on Carrie to get a bus, it was pissing with rain.. I decided to walk home anyway. Got fucking drenched, got a kebab, I was fucking freezing! Got home and put on my furry hat.. It keeps you so warm. Mike and Craig were up playing Guitar hero. I went to bed... mike crashed again. Sound..Casa del Crusher. B&B.
Friday – Covered a shift on the phone job – really quiet day.. very quiet indeed... I think I actually did this until 6. Quick bite to eat/game of fifa then off to biddys. I can’t really think what happened. I got talking to these 2 hot irish girls, Ciara and Nisha.I couldn’t remember their names at first..I just knew they sounded similar. When they came up later and asked if I could remember their names I said yes! I then called them Kisha and Nisha...not amused haha! Turns out they live at Biddys tho. The dj(who i’ve never seen before) played this epic song that basically goes ‘well i got home on Monday night, as drunk as drunk could be, I saw a horse outside my house where my old horse should be. So i called my wife and i said to her ‘will you kindly tell to me, who owns that horse outside my house where my old house should be’ oh your drunk, your drunk your really drunk.’ That continues through the week until Sunday. Its a fucking epic song. Was an OK night, but I was pretty shattered by the end of it! Straight to bed.
Saturday – Struggled out of bed for the old firm. Fucking pish. Fucking huns. Went to work.. I seriously struggle to remember what happened it was just that long ago... I’m sorry.. but.. go fuck yourself! I almost sold a girl a bottle of vodka for £60..almost. Aidan was texting me telling me how pished he was and how shit rush was. I got finished up, made about £10 tips.. Went to meet him at the hive, spent my tips pretty quickly. Carrie and Claire welsh were there. We did a jager bomb round.. but Claire told us she was allergic to red bull just before she downed it. She survived. Thankfully. They were all smashed. Aidan and Carrie mainly. Me and Claire started a pool. Swimming. I had a conversation with aidans mate about how I hate it when people come up to you and you don’t know their names. We also talked about football and stuff. Lucy and Krista appeared at some stage. We drank until 2.55(bearing in mind i never got there till about 2!) then me and Claire went for a dance to 500 miles. End of the night. Decided we should make a trip back to the flat. Claire asked the barman(not usual..but looked slightly similar. Jagerbird did not serve us – shock!-) if we could buy a bottle of lemonade off him.... Eh no. I managed to get everyone outside the hive(well me, and aidan to a slight degree) singing the 7 drunken days song! Awesome. Me and Aij started walking and talking about how Celtic should re-sign Henrik. The girls were dying on the toilet, we sent them up an alley... While they did that, I noticed that ppl were still in biddys(must have been 330 or4!) So I went to investigate. Basically everyone was there, just having finished their post work drink...I probably just talked a bit of shite, then left. We then tried to find a taxi(if I had been thinking straight we could have phoned my staff taxi). Took us absolutely ages, and it was not happening. Carrie phoned a company and started crying saying ‘I’m on my own, I don’t know how to get home.. I’m scared’... They then said they would send one right away(point of interest, if you ever want a taxi, just say that you are a scared girl and think you might get raped). No more than 3 minutes later, she phoned the taxi company back being like ‘eh hello, i ordered a fucking taxi and it’s not fucking here yet, what the fuck are you playing at?’ the girl on the phone replied ‘ you only ordered it 3 minutes ago, you need to give it time to arrive’ at which Carrie hung up. Pretty funny. Some old boy sitting there ended up giving us a lift home(he was a taxi driver). Oh yeah...all this time we were singing Papapapapapoker face, and poking each other in the face. Got back to the flat, listened to 7 drunken nights(i had to prove to them that it was a real song) and we then listened to lady gaga’s album. Which, is fucking pretty good btw. We went to the kitchen and drank some of craigs vodka(tried to write a thankyou note, but in the end it did not work). Carrie knocked so much shit about the kitchen/living room, I’m not quite sure how she managed it. Quite funny actually. So funny. Nick got up (and apparently had time to put jeans on, although I believe they were frog trousers). He was not chuffed. Neither was i, so I ignored him. Claire was cold so I offered her my duvet.. I then realised that I would be freezing, so i slept on the green couch with her...unfortunately, that couch(as anyone who has slept on it knows...) does not fit an average sized human being, let alone 1 and a girl. So i did not have much sleep at all. I cant even remember what the chat was.
Sunday – The girls got a taxi pretty early(like really early) I cannot fathom how early this was. Literally like 5 mins after they left, my nose started bleeding. Fuck. Eventually stopped it. It started bleeding again at 11.50. It was my dads birthday and I was meant to be meeting the family for brunch at 12. Fucksake. Why do my nosebleeds also happen at moments of such inconvenience!(or maybe ANY time for a nosebleed is inconvenient. This time it didn’t stop for like over an hour. It was fucking crazy. I hate nosebleeds. I phoned up biddys to say that I might not make it in that night. Just to give them the heads up. I slept for a bit, then decided my nose would probably hold up.(maybe just) Just as I was gonna phone andy, he called me to say it was fine, they had covered the shift. Cool. So i went up to my folks, gave my dad his crap birthday present(which, it turns out is actually pretty cool..and anyway...I got him something else in the future!)We had pizza... to compensate for me missing brunch...still gutted I missed that! Nice bath and early to bed. If i had worked at Biddys, my nose probably would have bled.
Next Week – Bear in mind... at the time of writing ‘next week’, is actually at the very least 2 weeks ago. Gig at Sneaky petes with the marvels, Going back into the EICC(did i do that last week?) and covering a shift in the links on Sunday! Sounds boring... but it was actually quite a fun week. I’m hoping to get the blog out on WWW(world wide web..or World War Water)in the next couple of days! Apologies again for the delay!
Monday – No idea.. I was plagued by internet problems at the phone job, a real pain in the ass.. and theres no solution.. It will just randomly start working. I think I spent a lot of time on the phone to various support teams, trying to get it fixed.. but it just was not happening! I’m not 100% sure on this, but I probably went to bed pretty early, or went up to my folks or something.
Tuesday – Similar internet problems as well. I have no idea what happened for the rest of the day.. probably bed early. Watched the football i think. Or not.
Wednesday – Internet problems blab la... Gay as fuck. Mike phoned me up and was like can i come over to watch the football.. yeah. He then phoned me and was like can I come over now. ‘I have a story to tell you’. Well tell me a bit, and i’ll get the rest when you come over. ‘well.. I got kicked out my house’ ok, see you soon. He came over and it turned out he had been kicked out of his house for battering his dad. ‘warning shots’. Fucking crazy bastard. He chummed me into town to deposit some cheques, we went to McDonalds. Played some fifa, played some Smash Bros. I do not play that game enough. It is cracking. Sonic is a machine(a speed machine) He’s awesome. We got some pizza and watched the football. Actually I got a kebab. Picked up some beers from steels house, which mike then dropped all over the pavement and got them dirty and shit. A kind gentleman helped us pick them up. Devoured the kebab. Since the beers were dirty, we drank them in pint glasses. Major fucking head haha. Awesome. Twam and Camp brought a bottle of Captain Morgan’s over.(cos its got a fucking pirate on it. Btw, i don’t like pirates that much)I was going to get some limes, but I forgot/couldn’t be arsed. I don’t like drinking Rum without limes. Drank it anyway. Listened to some Katy Perry. Our plan had been to just drink that, for a cheap night in. Mike wanted to go out. We decided to go out. Craig came too. We got a taxi to the hive. Mike wanted to leave. ‘not happenin mate’ Got a drink from Jagerbird. Left. To be fair, it was dead. Went down to faith. Bumped into my sister and this weird manwoman. Looks like a girl. Bumped into Giselle and Sean in faith, Mikey was there too..pretty fucked. Within 5 mins of being there, mike said he was going out for a minute.. we never seen him again. Faith was pretty gash. Spent more money than planned, got quite drunk. I don’t like faith that much. Some guy was chatting Roisin up, Laura used a signal to see if she was alright. She misread the signal, so I went over and got this massive bouncer and told him the guy was harassing my friend. I then realised Laura had misread the signal. Told the bouncer I would take care of it and keep him in the loop. Craig got caught by the bouncer shagging some slag in the girls toilet. He didn’t throw him out, instead he told the barstaff who then started pointing and laughing at craig, who was then like ‘can we go now...’ Got a taxi home. Played some titanic music(probably quite loud..but not too loud..) woke nick up. Mike came in at some stage... fuck knows where he’d been. Crazy bastard. Roisin gave birth to me on craigs sofa bed, not sure what happened, but fell asleep.
Thursday – Spent some time in the morning feeling hungover. Roisin was going in to Uni to discuss a particularly bad essay with her tutor... she left the essay at mine. Oops. Me and Mike decided to go to pizza hut for the weekly feast(we are failing miserably). We didn’t go, got some rolls and made some bacon rolls. Mike didn’t eat any so i eat them(it was a struggle, I was fucking hungover). Played a bit of Fifa, a bit of Smash bros. I went to do some teaching. It was really strange.. all of a sudden the lad seems to have gotten great. I was telling him stuff for weeks that he just couldn’t seem to grasp.. and all of a sudden he seems to have got it. Good lad. Got back and I was going to this Born to be wide thing with Sam and stuff. He told me to head for his for 20 past 7. He actually meant 20 past 6. Therefore I was late. Every month I get an email about Born to Be Wide, it’s a meeting place for the Edinburgh music scene, they always have good people speaking and it looks really interesting – Every time, I get the email the night before! And I always have something planned! This was the first time I could make it. It was really cool, Carrie was there – Not seen her in an age. We both wished that we had brought a pen and paper, it was all really interesting stuff... I can barely remember a word of it now. Haha. However, I did have quite a serious revelation – I want to be a musician, it’s what I want to do with my life... I want to make a living working in the music industry. At this point in my life, I am putting almost no effort into this.. I’m focusing on paying the bills, I don’t have any energy to put into being a successful musician. This is not cool, and it’s time to change. Ultimately, I would love to play bass in a massive touring band – Like Christina Aguilera or something – Some awesome pop band. Time to turn things around. Waited on Carrie to get a bus, it was pissing with rain.. I decided to walk home anyway. Got fucking drenched, got a kebab, I was fucking freezing! Got home and put on my furry hat.. It keeps you so warm. Mike and Craig were up playing Guitar hero. I went to bed... mike crashed again. Sound..Casa del Crusher. B&B.
Friday – Covered a shift on the phone job – really quiet day.. very quiet indeed... I think I actually did this until 6. Quick bite to eat/game of fifa then off to biddys. I can’t really think what happened. I got talking to these 2 hot irish girls, Ciara and Nisha.I couldn’t remember their names at first..I just knew they sounded similar. When they came up later and asked if I could remember their names I said yes! I then called them Kisha and Nisha...not amused haha! Turns out they live at Biddys tho. The dj(who i’ve never seen before) played this epic song that basically goes ‘well i got home on Monday night, as drunk as drunk could be, I saw a horse outside my house where my old horse should be. So i called my wife and i said to her ‘will you kindly tell to me, who owns that horse outside my house where my old house should be’ oh your drunk, your drunk your really drunk.’ That continues through the week until Sunday. Its a fucking epic song. Was an OK night, but I was pretty shattered by the end of it! Straight to bed.
Saturday – Struggled out of bed for the old firm. Fucking pish. Fucking huns. Went to work.. I seriously struggle to remember what happened it was just that long ago... I’m sorry.. but.. go fuck yourself! I almost sold a girl a bottle of vodka for £60..almost. Aidan was texting me telling me how pished he was and how shit rush was. I got finished up, made about £10 tips.. Went to meet him at the hive, spent my tips pretty quickly. Carrie and Claire welsh were there. We did a jager bomb round.. but Claire told us she was allergic to red bull just before she downed it. She survived. Thankfully. They were all smashed. Aidan and Carrie mainly. Me and Claire started a pool. Swimming. I had a conversation with aidans mate about how I hate it when people come up to you and you don’t know their names. We also talked about football and stuff. Lucy and Krista appeared at some stage. We drank until 2.55(bearing in mind i never got there till about 2!) then me and Claire went for a dance to 500 miles. End of the night. Decided we should make a trip back to the flat. Claire asked the barman(not usual..but looked slightly similar. Jagerbird did not serve us – shock!-) if we could buy a bottle of lemonade off him.... Eh no. I managed to get everyone outside the hive(well me, and aidan to a slight degree) singing the 7 drunken days song! Awesome. Me and Aij started walking and talking about how Celtic should re-sign Henrik. The girls were dying on the toilet, we sent them up an alley... While they did that, I noticed that ppl were still in biddys(must have been 330 or4!) So I went to investigate. Basically everyone was there, just having finished their post work drink...I probably just talked a bit of shite, then left. We then tried to find a taxi(if I had been thinking straight we could have phoned my staff taxi). Took us absolutely ages, and it was not happening. Carrie phoned a company and started crying saying ‘I’m on my own, I don’t know how to get home.. I’m scared’... They then said they would send one right away(point of interest, if you ever want a taxi, just say that you are a scared girl and think you might get raped). No more than 3 minutes later, she phoned the taxi company back being like ‘eh hello, i ordered a fucking taxi and it’s not fucking here yet, what the fuck are you playing at?’ the girl on the phone replied ‘ you only ordered it 3 minutes ago, you need to give it time to arrive’ at which Carrie hung up. Pretty funny. Some old boy sitting there ended up giving us a lift home(he was a taxi driver). Oh yeah...all this time we were singing Papapapapapoker face, and poking each other in the face. Got back to the flat, listened to 7 drunken nights(i had to prove to them that it was a real song) and we then listened to lady gaga’s album. Which, is fucking pretty good btw. We went to the kitchen and drank some of craigs vodka(tried to write a thankyou note, but in the end it did not work). Carrie knocked so much shit about the kitchen/living room, I’m not quite sure how she managed it. Quite funny actually. So funny. Nick got up (and apparently had time to put jeans on, although I believe they were frog trousers). He was not chuffed. Neither was i, so I ignored him. Claire was cold so I offered her my duvet.. I then realised that I would be freezing, so i slept on the green couch with her...unfortunately, that couch(as anyone who has slept on it knows...) does not fit an average sized human being, let alone 1 and a girl. So i did not have much sleep at all. I cant even remember what the chat was.
Sunday – The girls got a taxi pretty early(like really early) I cannot fathom how early this was. Literally like 5 mins after they left, my nose started bleeding. Fuck. Eventually stopped it. It started bleeding again at 11.50. It was my dads birthday and I was meant to be meeting the family for brunch at 12. Fucksake. Why do my nosebleeds also happen at moments of such inconvenience!(or maybe ANY time for a nosebleed is inconvenient. This time it didn’t stop for like over an hour. It was fucking crazy. I hate nosebleeds. I phoned up biddys to say that I might not make it in that night. Just to give them the heads up. I slept for a bit, then decided my nose would probably hold up.(maybe just) Just as I was gonna phone andy, he called me to say it was fine, they had covered the shift. Cool. So i went up to my folks, gave my dad his crap birthday present(which, it turns out is actually pretty cool..and anyway...I got him something else in the future!)We had pizza... to compensate for me missing brunch...still gutted I missed that! Nice bath and early to bed. If i had worked at Biddys, my nose probably would have bled.
Next Week – Bear in mind... at the time of writing ‘next week’, is actually at the very least 2 weeks ago. Gig at Sneaky petes with the marvels, Going back into the EICC(did i do that last week?) and covering a shift in the links on Sunday! Sounds boring... but it was actually quite a fun week. I’m hoping to get the blog out on WWW(world wide web..or World War Water)in the next couple of days! Apologies again for the delay!
Monday, 11 May 2009
HEY! Your Messing With My Delirium!
I put my budget into full force this week – And it worked pretty well, I only bought 1 pint, and no kebabs. The only money I spent was on food.
Monday – Struggled to get out of bed after work the night before, Supposed to be doing the reception job 12-6, but my internet wasn’t working so I spent the first 2/3 hours trying to fix my internet. Funny thing being that the phone was working, but the internet wasn’t – they both use the same connection to work. It didn’t make any sense, but it was a real pain in the ass. The thing about it is, if I can’t get on the internet then I can’t work, and because I get paid by the amount of work I do, I make less money.. Even though I’m still putting time and effort into getting my connection working. As well as this, It’s a pain for my employers because if I can’t get on the Internet then I can’t work, and that put’s a strain on them which they don’t want, that’s why the employed me. Ha, that last few sentences was just a jumble of rambling. At some point the internet started working again(completely randomly-theres no actual solution) and I worked for a while. Finished at 6, made myself some tea – Pasta I believe(how exciting). Gig with Arcane Corps – I ran down to henrys after my pasta, listening to some tunes on my ipod(which I really need to update – I’ve not put any new music on it since like November or something stupid like that. As awesome as my music taste was back then, I’m getting bored. I needed a poo poo on my way, I got there and we were soundchecking right at that moment. Mysteriously, I didn’t need a poo poo anymore. Maybe some scientist people can do some experiments to discover the difference between what we actually “need” and what we want. Infact, I was meaning to speak to John about this for some reason.. I cant remember why. I’m starting to believe that some people are actually Superman, and when I say ‘someone’ I actually mean everyone in the world. If we “need” to do something, be it suppressing a poo for that vital soundcheck; outrunning someone who’s trying to kick your cunt in; or lifting a fat bastard out of a burning building... then we can actually do it. I realise that I kind shifted my angle a bit there, and I’m not really sure why I went into that..but there you go.
After soundcheck we went to Footlights to get some food for the guys(I had already eaten and I am on a budget so I got some crisps), they got burgers and steak pie and shit. The food looked alright. The place was absolutely dead, Like we were the only folk in there. The bar girl was pretty hot and had a bit of banter(i.e. ‘we’ve only got salt and vinegar crisps’). Back to Henrys where the first band was just starting. Oh my god. I cannot remember when I have been less impressed by a band. It literally slowed my heartrate down. I don’t even know how to describe it. Very very slow metal(i think its called doom) They don’t change chords, the singer does nothing but growl very slowly in a very deep voice(almost like the wind, but very boring and absolutely shit). They played 3 songs in a 45 minute set. Each of them sounded exactly the same. I’m a fan of metal, but I just can’t see how people can like that. We were on next – I must admit, I have been really bad – I’ve been working so much and I’ve not really made the effort to get down to the studio to contribute to the recordings. We had a practise earlier in the day – but I was working so I didn’t make it down. As such, my performance was fairly sloppy(sorry dave!) It didn’t help that they had changed parts of the songs without telling me!(my fault really I guess). The biggest shock of the set was when Chris announced “Down On My Knees!”. We haven’t played that since November..literally. I spent the first few bars thinking frantically ‘how does this go???’ I got it tho!(except for the parts they had changed) After the gig me and andy went up to meet mick at chanter where he was doing the pub quiz on his own. We were going on the radio in the morning and so wanted to have a little team talk to see what we would talk about. I bought my 1 pint of the week. It went down fucking well, I was so tempted for another, but i resisted. By the way, does anyone wanna assemble a team for the chanter pub quiz? The few questions I stayed in for were a piece of piss. I went back to watch the last band(because they were from Greece and had no friends). It was absolutely pissing it down by this stage. I caught the end of the band after ours set. Just as fucking awful to me. Two twin brothers, dressed up like the devil playing speed metal..nothing but drums and guitars. Sounds pretty cool? Not for 45 minutes. Am I too harsh on bands? Call me old fashioned, but I like my bands to play songs with singing...not just a guitar riff/solo for 45 minutes. Stupid. I’m even gonna spell that stoopid. I watched a bit of the greek band, who were pretty cool. Their bass player looked like he was doing a lot of mental stuff(tapping etc) but you couldn’t really hear it.. Again.....I am very harsh on bands.. these guys were fucking awesome at what they were doing...It was really cool! But I was like whatever..boring. Nothing interesting there. I’m such a dick. I left halfway through there set(oh btw, their bassist was a fucking geek. A greek geek haha). Walked home in the pouring rain, got home, had some supernoodles and went to bed.
Tuesday – Woke up early to go and be on the radio, Although while I lay in bed, I realised that I didn’t have enough time to go to Leith, be on the radio, come back and start work all before 12 o clock. I stupidly decided not to go. Anyway, I think 3 people doing the same radio interview is a bit much. It just gets a bit crowded. Still.. It would have been cool to be on the radio. Turns out I would have had enough time anyway. I listened in to the guys – it was pretty cool – although for whatever reason they just lied loads! “we’ve got our CD in ripping records””we did a massive charity gig last month” “we are actually Coldplay, we just put on wigs”. Went to start work and guess what.... the internet wasn’t working again! This time the net was working fine.. the phone would not work! I spent a good hour on a help line, and as nice as the woman was.. she did not help me! Eventually.. After 2 and a half hours.. It started working(again..no explanation whatsoever). So again, this is cutting quite severely into my earnings you know! A load of gash. I ran out of energy after this. I was gonna go to Lina’s to watch the football.. I was also gonna go and meet up with Twamcamallidomcot and go to the hive. In the end I was so tired I decided to watch the football in the flat. This means carrying through my tv from the bedroom to the living room. I spent the first half of the game summoning up the energy(while lying in my bed) to do this. Watched the last 30 mins.. a bit dull. I then watched a seriously shit/brilliant film on some strange channel(no not porn). A teenager(who looks like Tom Cruise gets transferred to a school at some creek. But all the kids there have been brainwashed and are like ‘hello steven’ and then they kick his cunt in. Theres only 3 people who haven’t been brainwashed – Tom Cruise, hot goth girl(turns out it was Katie holmes..maybe) and token stoner. Also theres the ‘janitor’ who all the kids call him a retard and spit on him, but in the end he manages to get all the kids to jump on his car while he drives them into a waterfall(while shouting “HEY TEACHER, LEAVE THEM KIDS ALONE!”..Great and slightly random reference to Pink Floyd).Thats the end of the film. I went to bed not too long after that.
Wednesday – Got up(struggled slightly). Craig had been out the night before, and I heard a girls voice from his room. Hello. Turns out it was just Roisin. phone job 12-3 – The first time this week my internet was working without a hitch! Fucking amazing. Finished the shift, I then spent a fair amount of time playing a league in FIFA. Italian League, I was Juventus – I swear to god I lost every game 1-0. Fucking shit, yet so addictive. Eventually(a lot later than I had been planning) I went up to my folks. I was kindof banking on being offered a Chinese, so when I got there and my mum was like ‘you can have pizza or pasta or a chicken burger’ I kindof ignored the question for a while. I was just getting ready to concede and have some pasta when my dad came in and was like ‘I can get a Chinese if you want?’ Score. Felicity phoned it, she phoned some crap place and it was a very average Chinese! Still a Chinese nonetheless. I watched some Simpsons then had a bath. I was going to watch the football but at 7.30 I realised my parents don’t have sky sports, so I watched some crap programme about kids going to Jamiaca to have their cunt kicked in by a strict mum. After coming down from my bath I was gonna watch some TV, but felicity was watching Desperate Housewifes(even though she has a TV in her room) so I had some food and went to bed. Asleep by 1030, barry as fuck.
Thursday – Woke up having had an epic sleep. My dad did me a fry up which was pretty good. I then walked up to tesco’s, did a bit of a shop. I bought nothing but rubbish really. Doesn’t matter. Went and did some teaching. Came back and played a bit too much fifa. Went to bed, read like a page of my book then fell asleep.
Friday – Covered a shift at the office job during the day. Well, until 3. Around this time I discovered I couldn’t find my phone charger. Where is it? I phoned my dad to see if I had left it there. “No definitely not, without a doubt it’s not here”..ok.. where the fuck is it then!! I went to Biddys for 7. John gave me my watch back! Wahey. Got my break about 845. Just as I was about to sit down and start eating, Andy tells me I’m going to the links and my taxis outside. Cool.. but I’m eating my food first! Had my Bacon and Cheese burger. It was pretty good. Damn good. Went out and the taxi driver moaned about everything the whole way. Basically it was my fault. Everything was my fault. He moaned about the fact he had been waiting there for 20 mins. Not my fault. He moaned that people didn’t realise cars could drive down the cobbles in the grass market. Not My fault. He moaned that I didn’t have a slip. Not my fault. He was just a moany fucking bastard. Went into the Links expecting it to be heaving. Fairly quiet actually. I think they were just short staffed. The links has some crazy assed taps for Caledonian – It was like having a shower. There was karaoke going on. If Aidan fails to be a doctor, he can always run karaoke nights. Sounds like fun. These two guys did ‘Don’t let the sun go down on me’(Elton John, George Michael).. A fucking good version of it! Harmonies and everything.. They had obviously practised. Back to Biddys about 1130. Around this time my phone died.. Just after getting a text from Roisin saying they were in opium. Mike came in to visit me in Biddys, He ordered a pint of Guiness.. in all the years I’ve known him, I have never known him to drink Guiness. He was pretty fucked to be fair. Some bird gave me £5 for being cute. Good girl. It’s kindof hit or miss with the tips really.. either make about £10 or 30p. Good night though. It was broken up quite nicely considering I was moving about every 2 hours. Although because of this, I did hear alot of songs twice. I decided to spend my tips at Opium. Hayden and Kenny were there, Hayden showed me that he had a girls stockings on his arm. Mike and Steel and Lad were there too. According to Steel it was ‘Hoaching with fanny’ upstairs.. It was alright.. although I wouldn’t say hoaching. Dave T was there, and he spent about 30 minutes trying to get served. Funny. Rachael now works on the bar! Roisin, Laura, Kim, Max, Liam, Henderson were there too. So was Leanne Rimes and her friend who likes Frightened Rabbit. So, considering it’s opium.. There was a fair crew there. Quite impressed by it actually. Hazel showed up at some stage too! I spent all my tips on vodka, we then went for a bit of a dance. Danced to a bruce springsteen song. Or maybe it was a guy who is very similar to him... I can’t remember what the song was. It’s a tune tho. Kindof like dancing on the ceiling(except not by lionel Ritchie). It looks like the barman I don’t like very much has been turned into a superstar dj. Congratulations. Sincerely. We decided there was a party happening at Polwarth. Whether it be my place or steels, so we headed that way. I gave Leanne a very fast lift through the grassmarket. Full speed ahead. We lost Dave T, and the girls on the way across. Mike went home cos he was totally fucked. Leanne and her friend decided to go home. Steel was cheesing cos he ‘beat’ mike, held that girls hand and kissed her on the cheek. Me and steel lost everyone and started walking back to his. We met two people who were mates of his, and we walked back to steels. We did take a fair amount of time, and my phone was dead. We got back to steels, went into the kitchen – sitting in a nice line was Dave, Roisin, Laura and Kim and Liam. How the fuck did you get here! Turns out ben had let them in. Mike gave them directions(they thought he was there already) They rang the buzzer, thinking it was mike. They asked ‘can we come in?’ Ben was like yeah sound, no problem. Me and steel pissed ourselves at that. One of his mates shared round some beer. And everyone smoked some weed. I didn’t. We danced about till 7am, then went back to mine. My bed was full. Liam went off to get some crazy train to Aberdeen.
Saturday - Seriously didn’t get that much sleep. We went to the meadows at like 11! Got a Wrap from the Wrap shop. It was damn good. I walked back to the flat for about 1230 to watch the football. Celtic fairly hammered Aberdeen. Totally addicted to FIFA, I played a couple of games then went to work for 5. The Rugby was on. Leinster vs Munster. I couldn’t give a shit. There was a lot of people who could however, and thus the place was fucking heaving. One of the teams fucking humped the other one. After that alot of people left. The DJ started right after the game(probably about 7 oclock as apposed to the usual 10 o clock. Because of this, throughout the night Poker Face and La Roux were probably played about 6 or 7 times haha. To be honest, if I was a DJ i would probably to this too. Except there would be a lot of Sinead o Connor mixed in there aswell. I discovered that Delirium is a tune. HEY! You’re messing with My Delirium! It was an alright night. I had a breakfast for my tea. STRANGE. The place was pretty dead(not actually dead..but considering it was a Saturday night...)I went to the toilet(disabled one was engaged so i went to the boys). It looked as if 2 guys in there were maybe fighting. I kept my eye on it. Thing is, I think one of them was just being a dick. He was dressed in a suit, and after the other boy left he just stood looking into the mirror, flicking bits of water into his hair and muttering ‘you look amazing’. I watched him with disgust, then walked out. I told john about it. He made me laugh, but I can’t utter why because John will probably lose his job. It was so fucking funny though. Good lad. The night finished, and we got away pretty quick. I went straight to my bed.(I may have played fifa first)
Sunday – I slept during the day – Fucking great!! Got up, went to farmfoods with craig(bought a lot of crap) I then watched the second half of the huns. Fucking huns. I think I started work at 6 or something. It was pretty quiet. Or should I say totally dead. No worry. Me and Ralph cleaned up the keg room. After I had done the outside furniture, I came back in and it became fucking heaving. Like properly heaving. At least as busy as Saturday – except we had half the staff on. I basically spent the whole shift washing glasses. It was fucking great. I decided to start wearing earplugs when working on the back bar – because it’s so fucking loud! Worked a treat, and I could still hear what people wanted to drink! I was fucking knackered/and a bit wet. Straight to bed!!!!
Monday – Struggled to get out of bed after work the night before, Supposed to be doing the reception job 12-6, but my internet wasn’t working so I spent the first 2/3 hours trying to fix my internet. Funny thing being that the phone was working, but the internet wasn’t – they both use the same connection to work. It didn’t make any sense, but it was a real pain in the ass. The thing about it is, if I can’t get on the internet then I can’t work, and because I get paid by the amount of work I do, I make less money.. Even though I’m still putting time and effort into getting my connection working. As well as this, It’s a pain for my employers because if I can’t get on the Internet then I can’t work, and that put’s a strain on them which they don’t want, that’s why the employed me. Ha, that last few sentences was just a jumble of rambling. At some point the internet started working again(completely randomly-theres no actual solution) and I worked for a while. Finished at 6, made myself some tea – Pasta I believe(how exciting). Gig with Arcane Corps – I ran down to henrys after my pasta, listening to some tunes on my ipod(which I really need to update – I’ve not put any new music on it since like November or something stupid like that. As awesome as my music taste was back then, I’m getting bored. I needed a poo poo on my way, I got there and we were soundchecking right at that moment. Mysteriously, I didn’t need a poo poo anymore. Maybe some scientist people can do some experiments to discover the difference between what we actually “need” and what we want. Infact, I was meaning to speak to John about this for some reason.. I cant remember why. I’m starting to believe that some people are actually Superman, and when I say ‘someone’ I actually mean everyone in the world. If we “need” to do something, be it suppressing a poo for that vital soundcheck; outrunning someone who’s trying to kick your cunt in; or lifting a fat bastard out of a burning building... then we can actually do it. I realise that I kind shifted my angle a bit there, and I’m not really sure why I went into that..but there you go.
After soundcheck we went to Footlights to get some food for the guys(I had already eaten and I am on a budget so I got some crisps), they got burgers and steak pie and shit. The food looked alright. The place was absolutely dead, Like we were the only folk in there. The bar girl was pretty hot and had a bit of banter(i.e. ‘we’ve only got salt and vinegar crisps’). Back to Henrys where the first band was just starting. Oh my god. I cannot remember when I have been less impressed by a band. It literally slowed my heartrate down. I don’t even know how to describe it. Very very slow metal(i think its called doom) They don’t change chords, the singer does nothing but growl very slowly in a very deep voice(almost like the wind, but very boring and absolutely shit). They played 3 songs in a 45 minute set. Each of them sounded exactly the same. I’m a fan of metal, but I just can’t see how people can like that. We were on next – I must admit, I have been really bad – I’ve been working so much and I’ve not really made the effort to get down to the studio to contribute to the recordings. We had a practise earlier in the day – but I was working so I didn’t make it down. As such, my performance was fairly sloppy(sorry dave!) It didn’t help that they had changed parts of the songs without telling me!(my fault really I guess). The biggest shock of the set was when Chris announced “Down On My Knees!”. We haven’t played that since November..literally. I spent the first few bars thinking frantically ‘how does this go???’ I got it tho!(except for the parts they had changed) After the gig me and andy went up to meet mick at chanter where he was doing the pub quiz on his own. We were going on the radio in the morning and so wanted to have a little team talk to see what we would talk about. I bought my 1 pint of the week. It went down fucking well, I was so tempted for another, but i resisted. By the way, does anyone wanna assemble a team for the chanter pub quiz? The few questions I stayed in for were a piece of piss. I went back to watch the last band(because they were from Greece and had no friends). It was absolutely pissing it down by this stage. I caught the end of the band after ours set. Just as fucking awful to me. Two twin brothers, dressed up like the devil playing speed metal..nothing but drums and guitars. Sounds pretty cool? Not for 45 minutes. Am I too harsh on bands? Call me old fashioned, but I like my bands to play songs with singing...not just a guitar riff/solo for 45 minutes. Stupid. I’m even gonna spell that stoopid. I watched a bit of the greek band, who were pretty cool. Their bass player looked like he was doing a lot of mental stuff(tapping etc) but you couldn’t really hear it.. Again.....I am very harsh on bands.. these guys were fucking awesome at what they were doing...It was really cool! But I was like whatever..boring. Nothing interesting there. I’m such a dick. I left halfway through there set(oh btw, their bassist was a fucking geek. A greek geek haha). Walked home in the pouring rain, got home, had some supernoodles and went to bed.
Tuesday – Woke up early to go and be on the radio, Although while I lay in bed, I realised that I didn’t have enough time to go to Leith, be on the radio, come back and start work all before 12 o clock. I stupidly decided not to go. Anyway, I think 3 people doing the same radio interview is a bit much. It just gets a bit crowded. Still.. It would have been cool to be on the radio. Turns out I would have had enough time anyway. I listened in to the guys – it was pretty cool – although for whatever reason they just lied loads! “we’ve got our CD in ripping records””we did a massive charity gig last month” “we are actually Coldplay, we just put on wigs”. Went to start work and guess what.... the internet wasn’t working again! This time the net was working fine.. the phone would not work! I spent a good hour on a help line, and as nice as the woman was.. she did not help me! Eventually.. After 2 and a half hours.. It started working(again..no explanation whatsoever). So again, this is cutting quite severely into my earnings you know! A load of gash. I ran out of energy after this. I was gonna go to Lina’s to watch the football.. I was also gonna go and meet up with Twamcamallidomcot and go to the hive. In the end I was so tired I decided to watch the football in the flat. This means carrying through my tv from the bedroom to the living room. I spent the first half of the game summoning up the energy(while lying in my bed) to do this. Watched the last 30 mins.. a bit dull. I then watched a seriously shit/brilliant film on some strange channel(no not porn). A teenager(who looks like Tom Cruise gets transferred to a school at some creek. But all the kids there have been brainwashed and are like ‘hello steven’ and then they kick his cunt in. Theres only 3 people who haven’t been brainwashed – Tom Cruise, hot goth girl(turns out it was Katie holmes..maybe) and token stoner. Also theres the ‘janitor’ who all the kids call him a retard and spit on him, but in the end he manages to get all the kids to jump on his car while he drives them into a waterfall(while shouting “HEY TEACHER, LEAVE THEM KIDS ALONE!”..Great and slightly random reference to Pink Floyd).Thats the end of the film. I went to bed not too long after that.
Wednesday – Got up(struggled slightly). Craig had been out the night before, and I heard a girls voice from his room. Hello. Turns out it was just Roisin. phone job 12-3 – The first time this week my internet was working without a hitch! Fucking amazing. Finished the shift, I then spent a fair amount of time playing a league in FIFA. Italian League, I was Juventus – I swear to god I lost every game 1-0. Fucking shit, yet so addictive. Eventually(a lot later than I had been planning) I went up to my folks. I was kindof banking on being offered a Chinese, so when I got there and my mum was like ‘you can have pizza or pasta or a chicken burger’ I kindof ignored the question for a while. I was just getting ready to concede and have some pasta when my dad came in and was like ‘I can get a Chinese if you want?’ Score. Felicity phoned it, she phoned some crap place and it was a very average Chinese! Still a Chinese nonetheless. I watched some Simpsons then had a bath. I was going to watch the football but at 7.30 I realised my parents don’t have sky sports, so I watched some crap programme about kids going to Jamiaca to have their cunt kicked in by a strict mum. After coming down from my bath I was gonna watch some TV, but felicity was watching Desperate Housewifes(even though she has a TV in her room) so I had some food and went to bed. Asleep by 1030, barry as fuck.
Thursday – Woke up having had an epic sleep. My dad did me a fry up which was pretty good. I then walked up to tesco’s, did a bit of a shop. I bought nothing but rubbish really. Doesn’t matter. Went and did some teaching. Came back and played a bit too much fifa. Went to bed, read like a page of my book then fell asleep.
Friday – Covered a shift at the office job during the day. Well, until 3. Around this time I discovered I couldn’t find my phone charger. Where is it? I phoned my dad to see if I had left it there. “No definitely not, without a doubt it’s not here”..ok.. where the fuck is it then!! I went to Biddys for 7. John gave me my watch back! Wahey. Got my break about 845. Just as I was about to sit down and start eating, Andy tells me I’m going to the links and my taxis outside. Cool.. but I’m eating my food first! Had my Bacon and Cheese burger. It was pretty good. Damn good. Went out and the taxi driver moaned about everything the whole way. Basically it was my fault. Everything was my fault. He moaned about the fact he had been waiting there for 20 mins. Not my fault. He moaned that people didn’t realise cars could drive down the cobbles in the grass market. Not My fault. He moaned that I didn’t have a slip. Not my fault. He was just a moany fucking bastard. Went into the Links expecting it to be heaving. Fairly quiet actually. I think they were just short staffed. The links has some crazy assed taps for Caledonian – It was like having a shower. There was karaoke going on. If Aidan fails to be a doctor, he can always run karaoke nights. Sounds like fun. These two guys did ‘Don’t let the sun go down on me’(Elton John, George Michael).. A fucking good version of it! Harmonies and everything.. They had obviously practised. Back to Biddys about 1130. Around this time my phone died.. Just after getting a text from Roisin saying they were in opium. Mike came in to visit me in Biddys, He ordered a pint of Guiness.. in all the years I’ve known him, I have never known him to drink Guiness. He was pretty fucked to be fair. Some bird gave me £5 for being cute. Good girl. It’s kindof hit or miss with the tips really.. either make about £10 or 30p. Good night though. It was broken up quite nicely considering I was moving about every 2 hours. Although because of this, I did hear alot of songs twice. I decided to spend my tips at Opium. Hayden and Kenny were there, Hayden showed me that he had a girls stockings on his arm. Mike and Steel and Lad were there too. According to Steel it was ‘Hoaching with fanny’ upstairs.. It was alright.. although I wouldn’t say hoaching. Dave T was there, and he spent about 30 minutes trying to get served. Funny. Rachael now works on the bar! Roisin, Laura, Kim, Max, Liam, Henderson were there too. So was Leanne Rimes and her friend who likes Frightened Rabbit. So, considering it’s opium.. There was a fair crew there. Quite impressed by it actually. Hazel showed up at some stage too! I spent all my tips on vodka, we then went for a bit of a dance. Danced to a bruce springsteen song. Or maybe it was a guy who is very similar to him... I can’t remember what the song was. It’s a tune tho. Kindof like dancing on the ceiling(except not by lionel Ritchie). It looks like the barman I don’t like very much has been turned into a superstar dj. Congratulations. Sincerely. We decided there was a party happening at Polwarth. Whether it be my place or steels, so we headed that way. I gave Leanne a very fast lift through the grassmarket. Full speed ahead. We lost Dave T, and the girls on the way across. Mike went home cos he was totally fucked. Leanne and her friend decided to go home. Steel was cheesing cos he ‘beat’ mike, held that girls hand and kissed her on the cheek. Me and steel lost everyone and started walking back to his. We met two people who were mates of his, and we walked back to steels. We did take a fair amount of time, and my phone was dead. We got back to steels, went into the kitchen – sitting in a nice line was Dave, Roisin, Laura and Kim and Liam. How the fuck did you get here! Turns out ben had let them in. Mike gave them directions(they thought he was there already) They rang the buzzer, thinking it was mike. They asked ‘can we come in?’ Ben was like yeah sound, no problem. Me and steel pissed ourselves at that. One of his mates shared round some beer. And everyone smoked some weed. I didn’t. We danced about till 7am, then went back to mine. My bed was full. Liam went off to get some crazy train to Aberdeen.
Saturday - Seriously didn’t get that much sleep. We went to the meadows at like 11! Got a Wrap from the Wrap shop. It was damn good. I walked back to the flat for about 1230 to watch the football. Celtic fairly hammered Aberdeen. Totally addicted to FIFA, I played a couple of games then went to work for 5. The Rugby was on. Leinster vs Munster. I couldn’t give a shit. There was a lot of people who could however, and thus the place was fucking heaving. One of the teams fucking humped the other one. After that alot of people left. The DJ started right after the game(probably about 7 oclock as apposed to the usual 10 o clock. Because of this, throughout the night Poker Face and La Roux were probably played about 6 or 7 times haha. To be honest, if I was a DJ i would probably to this too. Except there would be a lot of Sinead o Connor mixed in there aswell. I discovered that Delirium is a tune. HEY! You’re messing with My Delirium! It was an alright night. I had a breakfast for my tea. STRANGE. The place was pretty dead(not actually dead..but considering it was a Saturday night...)I went to the toilet(disabled one was engaged so i went to the boys). It looked as if 2 guys in there were maybe fighting. I kept my eye on it. Thing is, I think one of them was just being a dick. He was dressed in a suit, and after the other boy left he just stood looking into the mirror, flicking bits of water into his hair and muttering ‘you look amazing’. I watched him with disgust, then walked out. I told john about it. He made me laugh, but I can’t utter why because John will probably lose his job. It was so fucking funny though. Good lad. The night finished, and we got away pretty quick. I went straight to my bed.(I may have played fifa first)
Sunday – I slept during the day – Fucking great!! Got up, went to farmfoods with craig(bought a lot of crap) I then watched the second half of the huns. Fucking huns. I think I started work at 6 or something. It was pretty quiet. Or should I say totally dead. No worry. Me and Ralph cleaned up the keg room. After I had done the outside furniture, I came back in and it became fucking heaving. Like properly heaving. At least as busy as Saturday – except we had half the staff on. I basically spent the whole shift washing glasses. It was fucking great. I decided to start wearing earplugs when working on the back bar – because it’s so fucking loud! Worked a treat, and I could still hear what people wanted to drink! I was fucking knackered/and a bit wet. Straight to bed!!!!
Friday, 1 May 2009
I love college..But I love Drinking..
A good start to the week – Just got pretty messed up, Thursday I started my budget period – which will last until the 5th of June. Hopefully by then I will have saved up enough cash to fund my trip to spain.
Monday – Got up about 1130. Had some breakfast(no milk so not a very good breakfast..more like a banana or spaghetti or something). Phone job 12-6. All good, starting to get the hang of it I reckon..I just hope it gives me some money for doing it. Finished at 6, quick shower and off to the Biddy’s staff night out. On leaving the flat, I realised that I couldn’t walk because I was so stiff from Paintballing the day before! I bought a packet of Mcoy’s and a Milky bar kid bar for my tea. Probably not the best idea. San Miguel and Vodka mixer’s were free while we were at Biddy’s. Got there pretty much bang on 7, I figured just drink San Miguel(albeit quickly) while we were there. By 7.40.. everyone was drinking double vodka kick’s(cheap red bull). Ah fuck it! I think that may be the earliest I have ever drunk vodka in that quantity. Must have had about 3 doubles by the time we left. We were doing some sort of treasure hunt or something.. for starters we had to make a poster with our team name on it. I cant remember what it was, but our poster was fucking ace! It had boobs! We had Me, Sean(girl), Shaun(Boy), Kate and Jenni on our team. Next step was to swap clothes with a member of the opposite sex in our team. Thus I spent most of the night wearing a girls blouse. Our team was shit. We took ages to go anywhere or decide on anything! Still we had fun. Singing ‘I’m a little Tea Pot short and stout, Here is my handle here is my spout’ How does the rest of the song go? I was convinced it was “Incey Wincey spider dad a dad a dada.” Apparently not though. I’ve still to really see photos from the night.. but a LOT were taken. We went into Oz bar and had to get a kiss off a girl.. unfortunately the girl I picked had already been asked by the 8 other teams! All the teams ended up in three sisters and this is where things get pretty hazy! Swapped back clothes with Kate and then just drank loadsof vodka. Me and Kim(apparently) thought that they would give us the doubles in wee tiny glasses(like in the hive), so we bought 2 at a time and they came in big massive things. This is what I’m told.. I’m not too sure what was going on. There was some kind of awards ceremony in the courtyard, then I vaguely remember getting in a taxi, but that’s about it.
Tuesday – Woke up properly fucked, covered in so many bruises that I could barely walk. Like I had a limp for 3 days. I had a massive bruise on my hip, bruise’s on both my elbows and bruises on the palms of my hands. What the hell happened. I got a text from Sean later being like ‘You got carried out of Lulu, you are my hero’. I was in Lulu?? Apparently we all went to Lulu, and one after the other we all got chucked out. I don’t remember any of this, but it’s all good. I just wish I knew where these bruises came from! Went over to Santans and bought a Haggis Pizza, Chocolate Buttons yoghurt and a bottle of orange juice(even though i had orange juice in the flat already). Cooked my pizza and started working at the phones. Quite hungover.. I went down to Pizza Corner, John met me there. I got a doner, he got a chicken. Pretty tasty stuff. Went up to the flat and played a bit of guitar hero. We were planning to be at sam’s by about 730. We left the flat at maybe 830/840. John somehow convinced me to go to Chloes. John managed to doorknob me a fucker. The bad thing is that he went easy on me.. in my crippled state I was in no condition to push past him to a doorknow(which btw, chloe has none of). Stayed there for half an hour then made a move to Sam’s. Stopped off at Scotmid for a couple tins of Tyskie and a bottle of wine. Got to Sam’s door and there was some girl there. We were like ‘you going to Sam’s?’ she said yeah. John introduced himself and she was like ‘I’m amy’. But she completely ignored me, so I went ‘Yeah, and I’m Crusher’. She was like “yeah.. I know you”. Where from? When from? “Well, for one thing.. You got chucked out of Luluz last night! And the other, I went out with John McGee 4 years ago.” Turns out she had been working on the cash desk in Lulu. Apparently I hadn’t been carried out. She saw me just kindof standing there in a daze, not really moving, and then the bouncer just kindof guided me out. It still doesn’t explain the bruising! So we went up and got to Sam’s door. She was like ‘this isn’t where Sam lives’..yes it is.. ‘no..’ yes.. wait, is Sam a boy or a girl ‘a girl!’ oh.. different Sam!. So she went upstairs, and we went in to the real Sam’s flat. We were greeted by Jo singing me my drunken song “I went to the doctors guess what he told me? He said ‘girl you gotta try and have fun no matter what you do’.. He’s a fool!” Went into Stalk’s room and the whole of the 1f1 boys were KO’d on his bed, Liam was getting in his dressing gown just about to go to sleep. Went through to the kitchen and there was this fucking weird boy sitting on a stool playing guitar, singing in falsetto... damn did he love college. Noone knew who he was or spoke to him. Oh, did I mention it was Sam’s birthday – everyone had been in the meadows drinking/smoking since 1030am.. hence was absolutely cunted. Amy and the girl Sam came down after a couple of minutes.. turns out they were Sam’s hot neighbours. Steel was absolutely baked, so I talked with him about bass for like 40 minutes. What do I think of him as a player, what does he think of me, what do we think of other people, what other people do we hate, isn’t bass the best instrument, having so many jobs stops me from progressing with me instrument. Etcetc. We’ve had this conversation a million times. I love drinking..and i love girls.. but damn do we love college. John had worked his way through the second bottle of wine, and thus started putting people in headlocks. I had only brought 2 cans with me, and so I ran out pretty quick. John took an absolute stinker of a shite which meant no one could go in to the toilet. I waited a few minutes then went in brandishing an incense candle which cancelled out the poo. Everyone in the flat sang Sinead ‘O’ connor for a while, before moving onto the fact that we all love college, drinking and girls. Daisy arrived at some stage. We planned to go to the hive, and we did. Everyone was wanting to walk.. It would have literally taken me an hour to walk to the hive, so i jumped in a taxi with the girls. Caitlin forgot everything, so girl Sam lent her money. Got into the hive, some guy started chanting at me in the toilet.. weird. Went round and had a jagerbomb with the girls. There goes me taking it easy right out of the window. The rest of the walking crew arrived. More jager. Ramage was there, spoke with him for a bit. The legend of a barman was there, so I drinking ‘the usual’. Pretty good. Loadsof other people came, Fraser, Cav, Fergus, others.. I got drunk after a while.. I think Barry was there too! Fraser tells me he has become a semi-professional poker player since I last seen him. He apparently won £2000 in a week. Bloody dick. I found out that one of the barstaff at the hive lives next door to me! Waay. John was trying to get me to go to Mulan Rouge..na. It was carries birthday, i wanted to go to stereo with them.. but I had already spent all of my money. And stereo ain’t free. I did a jager bomb(or more than one), then things get hazy again. I remember seeing Robbie, and I’m sure I spent a lot of time dancing with him and some girls.. They were familiar but I can’t think where from(probably the hive..since I’m there all the time!).
Wednesday – I woke up.. I don’t know how I got home, but I did! I was meant to be doing the phone job, but my internet was being a dick so I couldn’t. I spent over an hour fucking about with connections etc but still no luck. Did anyone else in Polwarth experience this? Bloody bastards. Went up to my parents – It took me an hour and a half to walk because of my limp!! What the hell. I bumped into Sam and Caitlin who were eating sushi in a church(surely that’s some kind of sin! We had some chat about the night before, then I went on my way. I had some tea(Felicity made Carbonara) I slept a fair amount, and I had a bath. Which felt great considering all my bruises. Eventually I got out of bed and jumped on a bus down to Leith for a Music Foundry meeting. We discussed ways to get myself more business, and ideas for a summer school we are hoping to run. It was good to meet with the other tutor(guitar – he’s stealing all the students). We had quite a good chat, some promising ideas – It actually gave me a lot more hope for my future with this company – that they are actually trying to get me business, rather than just ignoring me! I was hungry on the way home, I considered buying a naan bread or something. In the end I settled with a nice Donner from Pizza Corner – Laura – What have you done! You’ve left me and now I cant stop eating kebabs!! Damn you. I am going to try and make a sustained effort to eat better and budget from this day forth.
Thursday – Finally, I am no longer hungover. YES! That’s how it works. I went to teach Ben – I really need to properly organise my teaching stuff, get some CD’s and backing tracks made etc. Next week! Met Hazel on the bus back, she’s like me – working loadsof days – but she’s at uni too. She refuses to have a pool party because she doesn’t have the key or something! Damn her. Dropped my stuff off, played Craig at a quick game of Fifa(quick 3 games) I beat him of course. We decided to go crap teams – I went Sampdoria and they were alright like. After that I walked up to my folks – It didn’t take and hour and a half this time, more like 40mins, which is a bit more respectable, although still not great. I had a bath and some tea etc. Chili con carne which was actually very nice, although I was still pretty starving after it! I had a bath, watched some family guy then went to bed!
Friday – Got up, quite lazy. Had a total pig out on some food. Cornflakes for breakfast. Followed quickly by loadsof chicken then a pizza(the pizza smelt like vomit unfortunately). I then walked down the road. Went to Tesco for a shop. I bought a load of crap. It’s so hard. Can a nutritionist please accompany me next time I go. Got home, watched some Smallville then went to work. Apparently I had been fucked on Monday – but you know how the rumour mill spreads, and apparently I not only got thrown out of Luluz.. but I passed out and had to be carried out by the bouncers. This did not happen. I have had the benefit of speaking with the only sober girl of the night(amy-who works at luluz), and she said I was on my feet. Apparently there was no scandal, just a lot of drunkenness. I had some scampi for my tea! The shift was shit. The dj had the music on SOO loud, I could not hear a thing and my ears got absolutely pummelled. I was also stressing out and coming close to punching people who decided that while standing next to the speaker, the best way for me to hear what they wanted was by whispering. Fucking twats. Especially this Irish stag party.. I almost never served one of them cos he was pissing me off so much. The night just dragged and dragged. Veitch came in to visit me, although I didn’t get to chat to him much because the place was so damned busy. He has had a lot more tattoos done on his arm – looked pretty cool! Joanna also came into visit me. I think that’s the first time I’ve seen her when she’s not jumped on me and then ignored me a few minutes later.. I served some dick(mini hulk Hogan) and he walked off before I gave him his change. 5 minutes later he came back and started screaming at me for his change. I was like mate. Fuck off, I’l get to you in a minute. You can’t have access to your change whenever the fuck you want, you get it when you buy the drinks or you get it later. Fucking dick. I was glad to get home. I think I probably watched an episode of Smallville when I got in too. Reaching the end of the series, serious..I don’t even know why I watch it, its not that good.
Saturday – Spent the whole day in bed, - pretty bad, considering it looked gorgeous outside! On the other hand, I did get myself completely up to date with Smallville. That had better not be the end of the series cos it was a shit ending. I actually had tickets to go and see Frightened Rabbit tonight in Sneaky Petes. I had been planning all week to pull a sicky and go to it. But this morning my conscience(and the fact that Sneaky Pete’s is right next to biddys and i would almost definitely get seen by someone) got the better of me, and I didn’t go. I’ve seen them before, and I’ll see them again. But still...... Gutting. I sold one of my tickets to Andy’s friend. Gutting. Went into work, and I was in a surprisingly good mood. I had a nice juicy burger with bacon and cheese on it for my tea, and quite a good night – The dj wasn’t playing too loud Not long after she started I was gonna ask her to play Calvin harris at some stage. She played it twice! Legend. She also played the Subways! Legend. She was getting a bit ridiculous with Poker Face though.. 4 times throughout the night!! There was a couple of random power surges throughout the night – A legendary moment was during journey. The power cut out but everyone kept singing. Fucking great. I was chatting to this girl, she used the phrase ‘my friend thinks your barry’ while her friend was standing next to her blushing. Haha, amazing. What a phrase. Also a group of (hot) Irish girls declared me as the best thing to happen in their night(because I told them they could get student discount..they were students). This really hot girl though.. I know her from somewhere, I just cant think where. Kindof strange since she lives in Ireland. Oh infact, it might just be that she looks like that bird on Something for the weekend. At the end, John had chucked some Italian builders out(who had actually been staying at the Hotel for over a year!) because he thought they stole a bottle of corona. Radek was helping me bring the furniture down from upstairs, and these (6) Italians came bursting through the door, wanting to speak to security. I was like na guys were shut, yet they came through. Fair enough.. I want to get home.. I don’t want to get my head kicked in by some Italian builders. Someone else can deal with it. Came down the lift and all I could hear was lots of shouting(bastardo, Mario etc). Shaun(who wasn’t even working) was stuck in the middle the Italians trying to calm them down. Next time I came down, they were all shouting at John and he was speaking in Italian, telling them to fuck off cos he was Scottish or something. That’s what all good pastry chefs do. Next time I came down they were all apologising to each other. Crisis averted. Had a quick pint and home.
Sunday – Got out of bed about 145, I had a quick shower. Aidan and Dom came up. Time to book Spain holiday. We managed to get a flight to Malaga for £50 no problem. Aidan was incharge of the computer. We then were looking for a homeward bound flight. Aidan spent ages and had no luck. He then went to the toilet. Within 30 seconds of him going, I had found us a flight from Alicante for free! Once tax and stuff got included it was £40.. but still! We’re going to spain! Me, Craig, Aid and Dom. Gonna be fucking brilliant. We also used this opportunity to plan out the whole of June. 5th,6th,7th – Take the campervan away somewhere with Kara’s campervan(but she’s turning into a frog and so isn’t coming)- Still hopefully do that. 10th June – Flat party to celebrate my birthday(Biannual Polwarth Garden’s party too). 11th June – Some sort of food with my folks, then probably go see DMH at Cab vol. Since they are my best mates and if I don’t go with them then I wont have any friends for my birthday. 12th June – We fly to Malaga. 24th June – We Fly home from Alicante. 25th June – The Marvels, DMH and Boycotts at Sneaky Petes. A bit of rest, then T in the park. An issue with all of this is money. I then went back to bed, got up and went to work. My teeth have been hurting a little bit.. not that sore, but its a bit of an annoyance! I had a steak sandwich for tea. It was alright likes. Hurt my teeth a wee bit. Not a bad shift, that Irish band were playing.. They were ok. I was on the front bar for most of the night, So I didn’t need any earplugs. That group of Irish Girls were in. Good girls. It was dead for most of the night, but then at 12 a load of people came in. Got finished up.. I was considering(strongly) going to cappadoccia, but I managed to resist and I got a taxi home. Super noodles – then bed.
Next week – Work, work, work. I’m not spending any money until june. I can’t afford to. Gig on the Monday, radio on the Tuesday, work work work.
Monday – Got up about 1130. Had some breakfast(no milk so not a very good breakfast..more like a banana or spaghetti or something). Phone job 12-6. All good, starting to get the hang of it I reckon..I just hope it gives me some money for doing it. Finished at 6, quick shower and off to the Biddy’s staff night out. On leaving the flat, I realised that I couldn’t walk because I was so stiff from Paintballing the day before! I bought a packet of Mcoy’s and a Milky bar kid bar for my tea. Probably not the best idea. San Miguel and Vodka mixer’s were free while we were at Biddy’s. Got there pretty much bang on 7, I figured just drink San Miguel(albeit quickly) while we were there. By 7.40.. everyone was drinking double vodka kick’s(cheap red bull). Ah fuck it! I think that may be the earliest I have ever drunk vodka in that quantity. Must have had about 3 doubles by the time we left. We were doing some sort of treasure hunt or something.. for starters we had to make a poster with our team name on it. I cant remember what it was, but our poster was fucking ace! It had boobs! We had Me, Sean(girl), Shaun(Boy), Kate and Jenni on our team. Next step was to swap clothes with a member of the opposite sex in our team. Thus I spent most of the night wearing a girls blouse. Our team was shit. We took ages to go anywhere or decide on anything! Still we had fun. Singing ‘I’m a little Tea Pot short and stout, Here is my handle here is my spout’ How does the rest of the song go? I was convinced it was “Incey Wincey spider dad a dad a dada.” Apparently not though. I’ve still to really see photos from the night.. but a LOT were taken. We went into Oz bar and had to get a kiss off a girl.. unfortunately the girl I picked had already been asked by the 8 other teams! All the teams ended up in three sisters and this is where things get pretty hazy! Swapped back clothes with Kate and then just drank loadsof vodka. Me and Kim(apparently) thought that they would give us the doubles in wee tiny glasses(like in the hive), so we bought 2 at a time and they came in big massive things. This is what I’m told.. I’m not too sure what was going on. There was some kind of awards ceremony in the courtyard, then I vaguely remember getting in a taxi, but that’s about it.
Tuesday – Woke up properly fucked, covered in so many bruises that I could barely walk. Like I had a limp for 3 days. I had a massive bruise on my hip, bruise’s on both my elbows and bruises on the palms of my hands. What the hell happened. I got a text from Sean later being like ‘You got carried out of Lulu, you are my hero’. I was in Lulu?? Apparently we all went to Lulu, and one after the other we all got chucked out. I don’t remember any of this, but it’s all good. I just wish I knew where these bruises came from! Went over to Santans and bought a Haggis Pizza, Chocolate Buttons yoghurt and a bottle of orange juice(even though i had orange juice in the flat already). Cooked my pizza and started working at the phones. Quite hungover.. I went down to Pizza Corner, John met me there. I got a doner, he got a chicken. Pretty tasty stuff. Went up to the flat and played a bit of guitar hero. We were planning to be at sam’s by about 730. We left the flat at maybe 830/840. John somehow convinced me to go to Chloes. John managed to doorknob me a fucker. The bad thing is that he went easy on me.. in my crippled state I was in no condition to push past him to a doorknow(which btw, chloe has none of). Stayed there for half an hour then made a move to Sam’s. Stopped off at Scotmid for a couple tins of Tyskie and a bottle of wine. Got to Sam’s door and there was some girl there. We were like ‘you going to Sam’s?’ she said yeah. John introduced himself and she was like ‘I’m amy’. But she completely ignored me, so I went ‘Yeah, and I’m Crusher’. She was like “yeah.. I know you”. Where from? When from? “Well, for one thing.. You got chucked out of Luluz last night! And the other, I went out with John McGee 4 years ago.” Turns out she had been working on the cash desk in Lulu. Apparently I hadn’t been carried out. She saw me just kindof standing there in a daze, not really moving, and then the bouncer just kindof guided me out. It still doesn’t explain the bruising! So we went up and got to Sam’s door. She was like ‘this isn’t where Sam lives’..yes it is.. ‘no..’ yes.. wait, is Sam a boy or a girl ‘a girl!’ oh.. different Sam!. So she went upstairs, and we went in to the real Sam’s flat. We were greeted by Jo singing me my drunken song “I went to the doctors guess what he told me? He said ‘girl you gotta try and have fun no matter what you do’.. He’s a fool!” Went into Stalk’s room and the whole of the 1f1 boys were KO’d on his bed, Liam was getting in his dressing gown just about to go to sleep. Went through to the kitchen and there was this fucking weird boy sitting on a stool playing guitar, singing in falsetto... damn did he love college. Noone knew who he was or spoke to him. Oh, did I mention it was Sam’s birthday – everyone had been in the meadows drinking/smoking since 1030am.. hence was absolutely cunted. Amy and the girl Sam came down after a couple of minutes.. turns out they were Sam’s hot neighbours. Steel was absolutely baked, so I talked with him about bass for like 40 minutes. What do I think of him as a player, what does he think of me, what do we think of other people, what other people do we hate, isn’t bass the best instrument, having so many jobs stops me from progressing with me instrument. Etcetc. We’ve had this conversation a million times. I love drinking..and i love girls.. but damn do we love college. John had worked his way through the second bottle of wine, and thus started putting people in headlocks. I had only brought 2 cans with me, and so I ran out pretty quick. John took an absolute stinker of a shite which meant no one could go in to the toilet. I waited a few minutes then went in brandishing an incense candle which cancelled out the poo. Everyone in the flat sang Sinead ‘O’ connor for a while, before moving onto the fact that we all love college, drinking and girls. Daisy arrived at some stage. We planned to go to the hive, and we did. Everyone was wanting to walk.. It would have literally taken me an hour to walk to the hive, so i jumped in a taxi with the girls. Caitlin forgot everything, so girl Sam lent her money. Got into the hive, some guy started chanting at me in the toilet.. weird. Went round and had a jagerbomb with the girls. There goes me taking it easy right out of the window. The rest of the walking crew arrived. More jager. Ramage was there, spoke with him for a bit. The legend of a barman was there, so I drinking ‘the usual’. Pretty good. Loadsof other people came, Fraser, Cav, Fergus, others.. I got drunk after a while.. I think Barry was there too! Fraser tells me he has become a semi-professional poker player since I last seen him. He apparently won £2000 in a week. Bloody dick. I found out that one of the barstaff at the hive lives next door to me! Waay. John was trying to get me to go to Mulan Rouge..na. It was carries birthday, i wanted to go to stereo with them.. but I had already spent all of my money. And stereo ain’t free. I did a jager bomb(or more than one), then things get hazy again. I remember seeing Robbie, and I’m sure I spent a lot of time dancing with him and some girls.. They were familiar but I can’t think where from(probably the hive..since I’m there all the time!).
Wednesday – I woke up.. I don’t know how I got home, but I did! I was meant to be doing the phone job, but my internet was being a dick so I couldn’t. I spent over an hour fucking about with connections etc but still no luck. Did anyone else in Polwarth experience this? Bloody bastards. Went up to my parents – It took me an hour and a half to walk because of my limp!! What the hell. I bumped into Sam and Caitlin who were eating sushi in a church(surely that’s some kind of sin! We had some chat about the night before, then I went on my way. I had some tea(Felicity made Carbonara) I slept a fair amount, and I had a bath. Which felt great considering all my bruises. Eventually I got out of bed and jumped on a bus down to Leith for a Music Foundry meeting. We discussed ways to get myself more business, and ideas for a summer school we are hoping to run. It was good to meet with the other tutor(guitar – he’s stealing all the students). We had quite a good chat, some promising ideas – It actually gave me a lot more hope for my future with this company – that they are actually trying to get me business, rather than just ignoring me! I was hungry on the way home, I considered buying a naan bread or something. In the end I settled with a nice Donner from Pizza Corner – Laura – What have you done! You’ve left me and now I cant stop eating kebabs!! Damn you. I am going to try and make a sustained effort to eat better and budget from this day forth.
Thursday – Finally, I am no longer hungover. YES! That’s how it works. I went to teach Ben – I really need to properly organise my teaching stuff, get some CD’s and backing tracks made etc. Next week! Met Hazel on the bus back, she’s like me – working loadsof days – but she’s at uni too. She refuses to have a pool party because she doesn’t have the key or something! Damn her. Dropped my stuff off, played Craig at a quick game of Fifa(quick 3 games) I beat him of course. We decided to go crap teams – I went Sampdoria and they were alright like. After that I walked up to my folks – It didn’t take and hour and a half this time, more like 40mins, which is a bit more respectable, although still not great. I had a bath and some tea etc. Chili con carne which was actually very nice, although I was still pretty starving after it! I had a bath, watched some family guy then went to bed!
Friday – Got up, quite lazy. Had a total pig out on some food. Cornflakes for breakfast. Followed quickly by loadsof chicken then a pizza(the pizza smelt like vomit unfortunately). I then walked down the road. Went to Tesco for a shop. I bought a load of crap. It’s so hard. Can a nutritionist please accompany me next time I go. Got home, watched some Smallville then went to work. Apparently I had been fucked on Monday – but you know how the rumour mill spreads, and apparently I not only got thrown out of Luluz.. but I passed out and had to be carried out by the bouncers. This did not happen. I have had the benefit of speaking with the only sober girl of the night(amy-who works at luluz), and she said I was on my feet. Apparently there was no scandal, just a lot of drunkenness. I had some scampi for my tea! The shift was shit. The dj had the music on SOO loud, I could not hear a thing and my ears got absolutely pummelled. I was also stressing out and coming close to punching people who decided that while standing next to the speaker, the best way for me to hear what they wanted was by whispering. Fucking twats. Especially this Irish stag party.. I almost never served one of them cos he was pissing me off so much. The night just dragged and dragged. Veitch came in to visit me, although I didn’t get to chat to him much because the place was so damned busy. He has had a lot more tattoos done on his arm – looked pretty cool! Joanna also came into visit me. I think that’s the first time I’ve seen her when she’s not jumped on me and then ignored me a few minutes later.. I served some dick(mini hulk Hogan) and he walked off before I gave him his change. 5 minutes later he came back and started screaming at me for his change. I was like mate. Fuck off, I’l get to you in a minute. You can’t have access to your change whenever the fuck you want, you get it when you buy the drinks or you get it later. Fucking dick. I was glad to get home. I think I probably watched an episode of Smallville when I got in too. Reaching the end of the series, serious..I don’t even know why I watch it, its not that good.
Saturday – Spent the whole day in bed, - pretty bad, considering it looked gorgeous outside! On the other hand, I did get myself completely up to date with Smallville. That had better not be the end of the series cos it was a shit ending. I actually had tickets to go and see Frightened Rabbit tonight in Sneaky Petes. I had been planning all week to pull a sicky and go to it. But this morning my conscience(and the fact that Sneaky Pete’s is right next to biddys and i would almost definitely get seen by someone) got the better of me, and I didn’t go. I’ve seen them before, and I’ll see them again. But still...... Gutting. I sold one of my tickets to Andy’s friend. Gutting. Went into work, and I was in a surprisingly good mood. I had a nice juicy burger with bacon and cheese on it for my tea, and quite a good night – The dj wasn’t playing too loud Not long after she started I was gonna ask her to play Calvin harris at some stage. She played it twice! Legend. She also played the Subways! Legend. She was getting a bit ridiculous with Poker Face though.. 4 times throughout the night!! There was a couple of random power surges throughout the night – A legendary moment was during journey. The power cut out but everyone kept singing. Fucking great. I was chatting to this girl, she used the phrase ‘my friend thinks your barry’ while her friend was standing next to her blushing. Haha, amazing. What a phrase. Also a group of (hot) Irish girls declared me as the best thing to happen in their night(because I told them they could get student discount..they were students). This really hot girl though.. I know her from somewhere, I just cant think where. Kindof strange since she lives in Ireland. Oh infact, it might just be that she looks like that bird on Something for the weekend. At the end, John had chucked some Italian builders out(who had actually been staying at the Hotel for over a year!) because he thought they stole a bottle of corona. Radek was helping me bring the furniture down from upstairs, and these (6) Italians came bursting through the door, wanting to speak to security. I was like na guys were shut, yet they came through. Fair enough.. I want to get home.. I don’t want to get my head kicked in by some Italian builders. Someone else can deal with it. Came down the lift and all I could hear was lots of shouting(bastardo, Mario etc). Shaun(who wasn’t even working) was stuck in the middle the Italians trying to calm them down. Next time I came down, they were all shouting at John and he was speaking in Italian, telling them to fuck off cos he was Scottish or something. That’s what all good pastry chefs do. Next time I came down they were all apologising to each other. Crisis averted. Had a quick pint and home.
Sunday – Got out of bed about 145, I had a quick shower. Aidan and Dom came up. Time to book Spain holiday. We managed to get a flight to Malaga for £50 no problem. Aidan was incharge of the computer. We then were looking for a homeward bound flight. Aidan spent ages and had no luck. He then went to the toilet. Within 30 seconds of him going, I had found us a flight from Alicante for free! Once tax and stuff got included it was £40.. but still! We’re going to spain! Me, Craig, Aid and Dom. Gonna be fucking brilliant. We also used this opportunity to plan out the whole of June. 5th,6th,7th – Take the campervan away somewhere with Kara’s campervan(but she’s turning into a frog and so isn’t coming)- Still hopefully do that. 10th June – Flat party to celebrate my birthday(Biannual Polwarth Garden’s party too). 11th June – Some sort of food with my folks, then probably go see DMH at Cab vol. Since they are my best mates and if I don’t go with them then I wont have any friends for my birthday. 12th June – We fly to Malaga. 24th June – We Fly home from Alicante. 25th June – The Marvels, DMH and Boycotts at Sneaky Petes. A bit of rest, then T in the park. An issue with all of this is money. I then went back to bed, got up and went to work. My teeth have been hurting a little bit.. not that sore, but its a bit of an annoyance! I had a steak sandwich for tea. It was alright likes. Hurt my teeth a wee bit. Not a bad shift, that Irish band were playing.. They were ok. I was on the front bar for most of the night, So I didn’t need any earplugs. That group of Irish Girls were in. Good girls. It was dead for most of the night, but then at 12 a load of people came in. Got finished up.. I was considering(strongly) going to cappadoccia, but I managed to resist and I got a taxi home. Super noodles – then bed.
Next week – Work, work, work. I’m not spending any money until june. I can’t afford to. Gig on the Monday, radio on the Tuesday, work work work.
Saturday, 25 April 2009
If We Can't Break The Silence
Wow – Actually quite a busy week. A good week too. I was working a lot, and I’m bloody knackered cos of it – I also seem to have gotten in the habit of spending loadsof money on crap(amazing) food which isn’t so cool.
Monday – This is the first day I’ve been able to wake up whenever I want, and do nothing for the whole day. Absolute bliss. I was off the phone job because it was Easter Monday. That’s the good thing about working an ‘office’ job. Got up at like 1. Churned out a couple hours of my blog. Takes fucking ages to write. I then went down to the meadows to chill for a bit. Sent a couple texts on my way.. see if anyone else was about. Roisin promptly replied, so I met her and her friend Rachael, and her boyfriend who I think was called Steven. We went and sat in the meadows, it was really nice. Roisin had her alternative easter egg(a bag of dried fruit). It got cold pretty quick.. Well cold considering I was wearing shorts. Camp came down with a bottle of Captain Morgan’s, which tempted me slightly considering I had agreed to not drink for two weeks. I didn’t drink any of it though. Poor Rachael, she couldn’t handle Campbell’s intense measures. We went to find a toilet, forgetting it was a bank holiday. Public toilets were shut so we went to Doctors. It was so warm in there! Took a nice toilet break... Got back to the group and Jason, Liam and some of Twam’s friends had joined us. They had been drinking all day and as such were fairly smashed. We quickly decided to go back to Jasons flat. Sat there and watched father ted. Speaking to some Irish guy, he seemed pretty sound and he offered me a beer.. I said no thanks. He was like ‘you can’t refuse an Irishman when he offers you a beer.. that’s the worst thing you can do’...aaah I don’t wanna drink. I had that can in the end. The guy(Mike) told me a very funny(and very harsh story) about why he had a shit phone. He had smashed his old phone off the bouncer at opium’s head... He did this because he had been absolutely cunted, off the rails sort of mood(as happens) going up and shouting abuse at girls, and throwing drinks over them. He seen this really fat girl and was like ‘1 drink isn’t gonna do’ so he bought 3 pints, went up to the girl and threw them over her. As I said.. harsh, but funny. Jason and Liam were playing some game that was a cartoon and I dunno how it was a game.. Basically a cartoon. A gay Japanese cartoon.. looked cool though. Rachael had a surprisingly big measure of the captain, and it was quite funny to watch.. within two minutes she was pished, rolling about and shouting for someone to put on I Don’t wanna miss a thing. 10 minutes later she was sober again haha. Roisin’s friends left cos one of their party was too drunk, and I think he was wanting to fight me cos i was being a bit smart with him. We decided to depart for the Royal Oak. I was still absolutely freezing in my shorts. Got to the Oak, it’s a really cool place – basically a small room with lots of ugly people and some guy playing guitar. A very cool intimate atmosphere. I had 1 pint. The worst bit was when some boy cracked out a set of bagpipes. The room was so small.. I was like na.. see you later. Went and stood outside. Tried to have some chat with the guy who was running the night.. but he was a twat. Went out later with Rachael and he was sound. Seems all you need is a pretty face. Roisins friends came back, minus the drunk guy who they had apparently just met.. I told the Irish guy I was gonna go home soon because I needed some food.. He went to the shop and bought me a Samosa. Legend.. but I’m still going home! We said our long goodbyes then I went home and slept.
Tuesday – Thank god for the bliss of Monday. I actually got up this morning at 9 and went for a run(a fairly short run as I was totally fucked considering I’ve not ran in weeks), and then went for an essential shop(i just bought crap). Also in this time me and nick got craig some Ipod speakers for his birthday. Back at my phone job 12-6, my email was packed out since I hadn’t checked it since the Wednesday before. I don’t think I could do this full time. But 3 days a week is cool. Hopefully I’l make a half decent wage out of it! I spent a lot of time phoning the same database from the week before.. NO,no,no,no,maybe,no,yes,no,no,no. Great fun. Finished that at 6, had a shave and ran to Biddy’s. The Liverpool game was absolutely crazy. Madness. The guy who plays on Tuesday is seriously average at best.. He plays the tunes..But he doesn’t play them very well. I can’t remember what i did after the shift, I don’t think I went straight home.. But that makes the most sense. Maybe I got a Kebab. Yes.. I think I did. Working so close to Cappadoccia is gonna be the death of me. If I make decent tips, get a kebab. If i don’t make decent tips.. Get a kebab. Aaaah.
Wednesday – I struggled to get up this morning.. No run today. 12-3 phone job.. Not bad. Quick kip, then into Biddys for 5. Not a bad shift.. too many staff on probably. Craig, Nick and Kev came in about 1045. They were all(especially Nick and Kev) smashed. Covered in cider and stuff. It was craigs birthday too. I finished just before 11. Got myself a nice wee snakebite. I’ve not drunk one of them since the days of the holyrood tavern. One sip and my head immediately feels a bit strange. Annie, Roisin, Katy, Marc, Kim, Lois and Mhairi came too – I didn’t realise they were coming! Kim bought us all a Jagerbomb.. Which btw..how much money has she got? That must have been close to £30.. For some reason Marc screamed in my ear, I came pretty close to smacking him, I was raging. Kev was standing there, and he dropped his pint which smashed everywhere. He went up to the bar(presumably to ask for a brush) and came back with another pint. I cleaned it up.. Kim helped. Kev went to the toilet, he came out and Ralph was like ‘is this your mate? He was pissing everywhere’ I was like kev mate.. come on. Kev told me that Ralph was lying, and that he was a wanker. We were just leaving, So i told Ralph sorry, and that we were just going. Kev tried to tell me he was a wanker.. I was like whatever man, let’s go. We left and headed to opium. Me and Nick did our Fifa celebrations to each other.(mine being running around him swinging my arm..I punched him like 3 times). Matt joined the group. He was telling me He’d never seen Nick this pished before.. I was lke bloody hell.. are you nicks mate?? To be fair, he was pretty pished. Kev sang some Man City songs, and we went to opium. Suprised we all got in..to be fair, it is opium. Got a booth(and some vodka).Oh btw, I think i forgot to mention(or maybe I didn’t need to).. but my no drinking thing fell down the toilet. It’s Craig’s birthday!! I think Marc thought I was absolutely raging with him, So he was trying to buy me drinks and be really nice etc.. I wasn’t absolutely raging.. just momentarily angry with him for shouting in my ear.. We got the whole of opium to sing happy birthday to craig.. but it didn’t really work.. some guys came over and tried to shag Roisin.. they were pretty cool but Kev gave them some abuse. He realised Kev was pished and so didn’t fight him. I think he was in the army or something. We called time and went to Liquid faith. Queing for Liquid faith and some girl comes bounding up to me with a smile on her face and shout’s ‘Phil!’ ‘oh sorry i thought you were my manager’.. I can be your manager.. let’s go! So we went in. Managed to blag myself in for £1. This girl had loads of balloons. I went in with her and was like ‘3 questions’ 1. Where’s the toilet? 2. Where’s the bar? 3. Why have you got so many balloons? Met the twins in the toilet. I couldn’t find that girl(who worked at the standing order btw). Bumped into Mick, said hello, then danced with some girl he was with. I was in a generous mood(i dunno why, I’m fucking skint!) so I bought her a drink. It was going on my card, and minimum was £5.. So I got 3.. 1 for me.. 1 for her.. and a communal drink(which she knocked onto the ground) Craig pulled me away to tell me that he’d decked Nicks wee brother.. I was like ‘good one.. now i’m a bit busy’ He kept telling me and I was just like, It’s a funny joke.. but not while I’m trying to get with this girl... I went back to dancing with the girl, some ginger cunt came along and after that she ignored me.. Strange.. Last time I buy anyone a drink ever. Some girl who I think I went to college with(she was fucking fit, spoke to her maybe twice the whole two years I was at college!!!) came over and was like ‘what’s happenin?’ I was still trying to pull that ginger lover and so ignored the ridiculously hot girl. Poor show. Danced with Mick, Kim, Annie, Roisin etc for a bit – Some other ridiculously hot girl came up and was like ‘can I dance with you so it looks like I have friends?’...Yup! Did the nice thing and bought her a drink(going for the 1 for me, 1 for you, 1 to sure approach -) But my card got declined.. Ginger Lover!! She bought me a drink instead which was nice. We were standing outside after the club had closed and I am sure I saw a certain crazy engaged woman who has sent me multiple death threats in the past. I put my hood up and faced the other way. This next bit seriously felt like something out of one of these Jail movies.(or more specifically that episode of Smallville where there’s a jailbreak) You know the scene where there’s a riot going on in the middle of the canteen, and the two rivals are standing at opposite ends, with the big ‘evil’ rival advancing through the crowds towards the good guy, who is probably handcuffed. (I think in Smallville(which is amazing, yet amazingly bad)The evil guy was a red kryptonite infused Clark, and the good guy was Lionel Luthor(who btw, i think is similar to morrisey – in that their both old men, but could kick your cunt in). Anyway, Me and this girl were standing talking, the street was full of revellers who had just left the club The 2 guys to the left of me started fighting, rolling about the floor etc. It started with them, and spread right the way across the street. At this point I was like ‘bird, let’s go’ and we just walked through it all, stepping over bodies on the ground, people getting thrown past us etc. In hindsight, we were probably very lucky to not get hurt. Apparently Mecaniuk got Hospitalised for nothing.. Bastards.
Walked that girl home, bumped into Ian from Biddy’s who was fucked.. Didn’t stay to chat, just kept on walking. On the walk home I noticed that while she had a relatively pretty face, and a smoking hot body, she had a well big nose. Oh well.. Dropped her off, then went up to the ’24 hour’ costcutter. It was fucking shut. I only had like £1 anyway. Met some guy and he was like(in an English accent) ‘Mate, where can I get some food?’ I was like well the all night bakery’s just down there, it might be shut though. I took him down, it was open. To show his gratitude for me showing it to him, He bought me a Sausage roll, Scotch Pie, Doughnut and a Pastry. Absolute legend. I fucking love him. Some guy came in while we were there and asked if he could use his card. The boy was like no. He kept asking every couple of seconds, and the guy who bought me the pie’s and various other stuff was like shut the fuck up mate or I’ll kick your cunt in you jambo fuck(he was wearing a maroon top). I gave Craig a phone to see if they were still up. He was, and was continuing with this ‘Joke’ about him hitting nick’s bro. Turns out it wasn’t a joke. Sounds like he deserved it though.. but that basically put’s a rift between my flatmates.. I’m staying out of it..
Thursday – I did something.. I’m sure of it. I’m just not sure what. Maybe I spent most of the day watching Southpark and Smallville(It’s fucking amazing..both of them! Do you like fishsticks?) The worst thing is that E4 is now showing the advert for the new smallville, which basically shows what I’m just about to watch. Ended up going to my folks for some tea and a bath, I think I stayed up there. Ah yeah.. I was considering going out to see DMH but I was so tired, and after much debate, I fell asleep. Good
Friday – Got up bright and early, The Marvels were meeting with ‘Unscein Records’. The other lads were fucked because they had both gone to see DMH, and had lost many drinking games to Mike and John. Apparently now whenever we play, we have to introduce ourselves as ‘Hi, we’re the Marvels. Dirty Modern Hero are better than us.’ That was for starters, Mick had gotten us the wrong address for the meeting. We got the right address and jumped on a bus down there. Only 20 minutes or so late. The girl on reception... My god.. Her breasts... Basically, they were cool. Very cool. But in general, she was fucking stunning. Went through and met the guy. He seemed to talk a slight amount of nonsense.. His idea was that basically, We give him exclusivity for all Edinburgh gigs in the next 12 months, and he’l put us on at the ark once a month with 5 other bands who agree to it(not quality controlled). We bring 35 people to each gig at £5 a ticket and give all the money to him. In return, He gives us either time in a recording studio, time in a rehearsal studio, or money – all of which will add up to the amount of money we give him first.. ok... Maybe not. I must say I was tempted just for the chance of more opportunities to see that girl on reception. She could probably do a better job of persuading bands to join. I phoned Mike and Steel for our weekly Pizza Hut expedition. Steel never answered, Mike was like ‘Oh i’m at Chloes, I don’t want to move’. So me and Andy went and got the buffet ourselves. Sat down, and some guy who was next to us was like ‘is my crutch in the way where it is’ we were like no, it’s cool. He then bursts into a spiel about how ‘i’m a chef, so i know that when people eat in a restaurant It’s not just about the food, It’s about the space they have to eat’. He then spoke to us for the next hour. Not quite giving us our all important space... He was sitting directly behind Andy, and I was a bit further away – so he was mainly talking to andy.. especially since they were both cockney’s etc. Because of this, Andy then told me he was going to start dropping me into the conversation. “Chris thinks this about that, Don’t you Chris.” And I’m like uh... The best one, which I couldn’t help laughing out loud at, was “What’s that saying you have about spoon’s Chris?” and the guy looks at me, waiting for me to tell him my expression about spoons. Eventually we asked for the bill, and the guy rolls into this ‘joke’ about why haven’t they invented robots for kitchens yet, but he stands up and starts waving his arms at the waitress. Eventually He leaves, and the waitress is like ‘Was he with you?’ We’re like nope.. and then we told her all that he’d been saying to his. She was pretty sound, so we tipped her. Pizza hut.. always an Experience.
I got back to the flat, had a shower, had a shave, went to work! Now that we actually have enough glass collectors working with us – It makes the weekend shift a fair amount easier than during the week.. It’s still tough, and absolutely rammed all the time – But now we can focus on purely serving drinks. On the front bar, If you need a keg changed it’s just a radio call away. You don’t have to leave the bar! Also, having loads of staff on, means that clean up at the end takes no time at all. Which is great. We stayed behind for a pint or 2 after.. A slow pint.. Got home at like 430 or something. I was gonna go up to Maisies, but I assumed they had fallen asleep!(apparently they hadn’t.. gutted). Got home, watched some Smallville.(They start each episode with ‘previously on smallville’ and then show a bunch of clips that have no bearing on what happened in the episode before, it’s just a bunch of stuff that happened before, and it’s not in any context whatsoever.. so you have no idea what’s going on if you miss an episode. Went to bed.
Saturday – Got up pretty late, watched some Smallville and some Southpark or that. Headed to work, It was all good – I was on the back bar meaning I was on keg duties – running up and down the stairs every 20 minutes. I missed pokerface. But luckily the girl played it 3 times.. including 1 minute of it at the end..It’s a good song, but whatever. Hopefully these DJ’s will realise the brilliance of Calvin Harris’ new tune soon enough. Was an alright night.. fairly uneventful(as i remember it.. loadsa shit could’ve gone down). Just got a taxi home after. Got home.. take a guess..watched Smallville!
Sunday – Woke up, stupidly watched an episode of Smallville which I definitely did not have time for! Checked the bus timetables to wherever the fuck I was going(Paintballing in the country!) and realised the only one that wouldn’t make me late was coming to Haymarket in 13 minutes. I got dressed and ran down. Just caught the bus. The bus driver was a dick, made me get off at the wrong stop(it cost £2.40!!) and told me to walk a mile back the way. I realised at about 12.45(we were meeting at 1!) that I had walked a mile in the wrong direction, so I now had 2 miles to walk in 15 minutes. Fuck it, I’m a fast runner, started running. Chow phoned me and said they’d come and pick me up. Thankyou! Paintballing’s pretty good fun. As in.. It’s fairly awesome. I was fairly shite.. To quote Danny, “There’s no rhyme or reason as to where it shoot’s”. It was a very still day, but still the pellets fly all over the place. I’m not actually sure if I hit anyone, but I did provide a lot of covering fire(i.e. not shooting at anything in particular, just keeping the opposition in hiding). My one crowning moment was in a game where we had to touch the opponents barrel, which they were defending from they’re base. From the word go, I sprinted and made it to some cover 3 quarters of the way up the field. Just on the other side of that cover was the barrel. I lay there for a minute or so, waiting for my team to push up. They didn’t. Eventually I was like fuck it, sprinted out(being shot at by about 10 folk) firing my gun and dived ontop of the barrel. The barrel went flying, and I got pummelled. We won! The marshall was like “That was a very good run at the start, have you done paintballing before?” I’m like no. He’s then mutters “that was a very good run at the start”. As I said, I was fairly shit for the rest of the day. At the end the guy said that anyone with any ammo left could have a free for all. Turned out it was just me and this 10 year old boy. We both went behind opposite trees and started trying to get each other. He was being boring and hiding behind a tree, I was like fuck it – Started running in a circle around him – You know, the old circle strafing from Goldeneye(It makes you invincible like the matrix..at least it did on the N64) – I got shot to fuck. He just about hit me in the dick. I’ve got a massive bruise just south. I think I got hit more then than I did throughout the whole day. Got a lift to the bus stop, banged my head on the way out. Maria and stuff picked me up again, and drove me to asda. Again, I hit my head on the way out.. I’m not sure how haha. I went into ASDA and got them to make me a pizza(which I assumed they would cook) Chicken, mushroom, sweetcorn and onion..£2.50. They didn’t cook it so I went to McDonalds. Walked home, cooked my pizza. Quick shower then off to Biddy’s. Again.. This place is always fucking busy. The band were so loud. I really need to start bringing my earplugs with me. Although I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to hear people ordering.. but I don’t care, It’s destroying my ears. Not a bad shift. Up to cappadoccia after, a nice Doner. Although.. This was my first Cappadoccia I have ever had which did not include chips. Still pretty good.. but the chips are a big part you know. Got to Polwarth Roundabout and nicks wee brother was standing in the middle of the roundabout pretending to be abducted by aliens. Up to the flat and finished off my pizza from before. Bed.
Next week – Biddy’s staff night out, Sam’s birthday, work, planning, teaching, learning, decisions, remorse, guilt, snake. I love my snake.
Monday – This is the first day I’ve been able to wake up whenever I want, and do nothing for the whole day. Absolute bliss. I was off the phone job because it was Easter Monday. That’s the good thing about working an ‘office’ job. Got up at like 1. Churned out a couple hours of my blog. Takes fucking ages to write. I then went down to the meadows to chill for a bit. Sent a couple texts on my way.. see if anyone else was about. Roisin promptly replied, so I met her and her friend Rachael, and her boyfriend who I think was called Steven. We went and sat in the meadows, it was really nice. Roisin had her alternative easter egg(a bag of dried fruit). It got cold pretty quick.. Well cold considering I was wearing shorts. Camp came down with a bottle of Captain Morgan’s, which tempted me slightly considering I had agreed to not drink for two weeks. I didn’t drink any of it though. Poor Rachael, she couldn’t handle Campbell’s intense measures. We went to find a toilet, forgetting it was a bank holiday. Public toilets were shut so we went to Doctors. It was so warm in there! Took a nice toilet break... Got back to the group and Jason, Liam and some of Twam’s friends had joined us. They had been drinking all day and as such were fairly smashed. We quickly decided to go back to Jasons flat. Sat there and watched father ted. Speaking to some Irish guy, he seemed pretty sound and he offered me a beer.. I said no thanks. He was like ‘you can’t refuse an Irishman when he offers you a beer.. that’s the worst thing you can do’...aaah I don’t wanna drink. I had that can in the end. The guy(Mike) told me a very funny(and very harsh story) about why he had a shit phone. He had smashed his old phone off the bouncer at opium’s head... He did this because he had been absolutely cunted, off the rails sort of mood(as happens) going up and shouting abuse at girls, and throwing drinks over them. He seen this really fat girl and was like ‘1 drink isn’t gonna do’ so he bought 3 pints, went up to the girl and threw them over her. As I said.. harsh, but funny. Jason and Liam were playing some game that was a cartoon and I dunno how it was a game.. Basically a cartoon. A gay Japanese cartoon.. looked cool though. Rachael had a surprisingly big measure of the captain, and it was quite funny to watch.. within two minutes she was pished, rolling about and shouting for someone to put on I Don’t wanna miss a thing. 10 minutes later she was sober again haha. Roisin’s friends left cos one of their party was too drunk, and I think he was wanting to fight me cos i was being a bit smart with him. We decided to depart for the Royal Oak. I was still absolutely freezing in my shorts. Got to the Oak, it’s a really cool place – basically a small room with lots of ugly people and some guy playing guitar. A very cool intimate atmosphere. I had 1 pint. The worst bit was when some boy cracked out a set of bagpipes. The room was so small.. I was like na.. see you later. Went and stood outside. Tried to have some chat with the guy who was running the night.. but he was a twat. Went out later with Rachael and he was sound. Seems all you need is a pretty face. Roisins friends came back, minus the drunk guy who they had apparently just met.. I told the Irish guy I was gonna go home soon because I needed some food.. He went to the shop and bought me a Samosa. Legend.. but I’m still going home! We said our long goodbyes then I went home and slept.
Tuesday – Thank god for the bliss of Monday. I actually got up this morning at 9 and went for a run(a fairly short run as I was totally fucked considering I’ve not ran in weeks), and then went for an essential shop(i just bought crap). Also in this time me and nick got craig some Ipod speakers for his birthday. Back at my phone job 12-6, my email was packed out since I hadn’t checked it since the Wednesday before. I don’t think I could do this full time. But 3 days a week is cool. Hopefully I’l make a half decent wage out of it! I spent a lot of time phoning the same database from the week before.. NO,no,no,no,maybe,no,yes,no,no,no. Great fun. Finished that at 6, had a shave and ran to Biddy’s. The Liverpool game was absolutely crazy. Madness. The guy who plays on Tuesday is seriously average at best.. He plays the tunes..But he doesn’t play them very well. I can’t remember what i did after the shift, I don’t think I went straight home.. But that makes the most sense. Maybe I got a Kebab. Yes.. I think I did. Working so close to Cappadoccia is gonna be the death of me. If I make decent tips, get a kebab. If i don’t make decent tips.. Get a kebab. Aaaah.
Wednesday – I struggled to get up this morning.. No run today. 12-3 phone job.. Not bad. Quick kip, then into Biddys for 5. Not a bad shift.. too many staff on probably. Craig, Nick and Kev came in about 1045. They were all(especially Nick and Kev) smashed. Covered in cider and stuff. It was craigs birthday too. I finished just before 11. Got myself a nice wee snakebite. I’ve not drunk one of them since the days of the holyrood tavern. One sip and my head immediately feels a bit strange. Annie, Roisin, Katy, Marc, Kim, Lois and Mhairi came too – I didn’t realise they were coming! Kim bought us all a Jagerbomb.. Which btw..how much money has she got? That must have been close to £30.. For some reason Marc screamed in my ear, I came pretty close to smacking him, I was raging. Kev was standing there, and he dropped his pint which smashed everywhere. He went up to the bar(presumably to ask for a brush) and came back with another pint. I cleaned it up.. Kim helped. Kev went to the toilet, he came out and Ralph was like ‘is this your mate? He was pissing everywhere’ I was like kev mate.. come on. Kev told me that Ralph was lying, and that he was a wanker. We were just leaving, So i told Ralph sorry, and that we were just going. Kev tried to tell me he was a wanker.. I was like whatever man, let’s go. We left and headed to opium. Me and Nick did our Fifa celebrations to each other.(mine being running around him swinging my arm..I punched him like 3 times). Matt joined the group. He was telling me He’d never seen Nick this pished before.. I was lke bloody hell.. are you nicks mate?? To be fair, he was pretty pished. Kev sang some Man City songs, and we went to opium. Suprised we all got in..to be fair, it is opium. Got a booth(and some vodka).Oh btw, I think i forgot to mention(or maybe I didn’t need to).. but my no drinking thing fell down the toilet. It’s Craig’s birthday!! I think Marc thought I was absolutely raging with him, So he was trying to buy me drinks and be really nice etc.. I wasn’t absolutely raging.. just momentarily angry with him for shouting in my ear.. We got the whole of opium to sing happy birthday to craig.. but it didn’t really work.. some guys came over and tried to shag Roisin.. they were pretty cool but Kev gave them some abuse. He realised Kev was pished and so didn’t fight him. I think he was in the army or something. We called time and went to Liquid faith. Queing for Liquid faith and some girl comes bounding up to me with a smile on her face and shout’s ‘Phil!’ ‘oh sorry i thought you were my manager’.. I can be your manager.. let’s go! So we went in. Managed to blag myself in for £1. This girl had loads of balloons. I went in with her and was like ‘3 questions’ 1. Where’s the toilet? 2. Where’s the bar? 3. Why have you got so many balloons? Met the twins in the toilet. I couldn’t find that girl(who worked at the standing order btw). Bumped into Mick, said hello, then danced with some girl he was with. I was in a generous mood(i dunno why, I’m fucking skint!) so I bought her a drink. It was going on my card, and minimum was £5.. So I got 3.. 1 for me.. 1 for her.. and a communal drink(which she knocked onto the ground) Craig pulled me away to tell me that he’d decked Nicks wee brother.. I was like ‘good one.. now i’m a bit busy’ He kept telling me and I was just like, It’s a funny joke.. but not while I’m trying to get with this girl... I went back to dancing with the girl, some ginger cunt came along and after that she ignored me.. Strange.. Last time I buy anyone a drink ever. Some girl who I think I went to college with(she was fucking fit, spoke to her maybe twice the whole two years I was at college!!!) came over and was like ‘what’s happenin?’ I was still trying to pull that ginger lover and so ignored the ridiculously hot girl. Poor show. Danced with Mick, Kim, Annie, Roisin etc for a bit – Some other ridiculously hot girl came up and was like ‘can I dance with you so it looks like I have friends?’...Yup! Did the nice thing and bought her a drink(going for the 1 for me, 1 for you, 1 to sure approach -) But my card got declined.. Ginger Lover!! She bought me a drink instead which was nice. We were standing outside after the club had closed and I am sure I saw a certain crazy engaged woman who has sent me multiple death threats in the past. I put my hood up and faced the other way. This next bit seriously felt like something out of one of these Jail movies.(or more specifically that episode of Smallville where there’s a jailbreak) You know the scene where there’s a riot going on in the middle of the canteen, and the two rivals are standing at opposite ends, with the big ‘evil’ rival advancing through the crowds towards the good guy, who is probably handcuffed. (I think in Smallville(which is amazing, yet amazingly bad)The evil guy was a red kryptonite infused Clark, and the good guy was Lionel Luthor(who btw, i think is similar to morrisey – in that their both old men, but could kick your cunt in). Anyway, Me and this girl were standing talking, the street was full of revellers who had just left the club The 2 guys to the left of me started fighting, rolling about the floor etc. It started with them, and spread right the way across the street. At this point I was like ‘bird, let’s go’ and we just walked through it all, stepping over bodies on the ground, people getting thrown past us etc. In hindsight, we were probably very lucky to not get hurt. Apparently Mecaniuk got Hospitalised for nothing.. Bastards.
Walked that girl home, bumped into Ian from Biddy’s who was fucked.. Didn’t stay to chat, just kept on walking. On the walk home I noticed that while she had a relatively pretty face, and a smoking hot body, she had a well big nose. Oh well.. Dropped her off, then went up to the ’24 hour’ costcutter. It was fucking shut. I only had like £1 anyway. Met some guy and he was like(in an English accent) ‘Mate, where can I get some food?’ I was like well the all night bakery’s just down there, it might be shut though. I took him down, it was open. To show his gratitude for me showing it to him, He bought me a Sausage roll, Scotch Pie, Doughnut and a Pastry. Absolute legend. I fucking love him. Some guy came in while we were there and asked if he could use his card. The boy was like no. He kept asking every couple of seconds, and the guy who bought me the pie’s and various other stuff was like shut the fuck up mate or I’ll kick your cunt in you jambo fuck(he was wearing a maroon top). I gave Craig a phone to see if they were still up. He was, and was continuing with this ‘Joke’ about him hitting nick’s bro. Turns out it wasn’t a joke. Sounds like he deserved it though.. but that basically put’s a rift between my flatmates.. I’m staying out of it..
Thursday – I did something.. I’m sure of it. I’m just not sure what. Maybe I spent most of the day watching Southpark and Smallville(It’s fucking amazing..both of them! Do you like fishsticks?) The worst thing is that E4 is now showing the advert for the new smallville, which basically shows what I’m just about to watch. Ended up going to my folks for some tea and a bath, I think I stayed up there. Ah yeah.. I was considering going out to see DMH but I was so tired, and after much debate, I fell asleep. Good
Friday – Got up bright and early, The Marvels were meeting with ‘Unscein Records’. The other lads were fucked because they had both gone to see DMH, and had lost many drinking games to Mike and John. Apparently now whenever we play, we have to introduce ourselves as ‘Hi, we’re the Marvels. Dirty Modern Hero are better than us.’ That was for starters, Mick had gotten us the wrong address for the meeting. We got the right address and jumped on a bus down there. Only 20 minutes or so late. The girl on reception... My god.. Her breasts... Basically, they were cool. Very cool. But in general, she was fucking stunning. Went through and met the guy. He seemed to talk a slight amount of nonsense.. His idea was that basically, We give him exclusivity for all Edinburgh gigs in the next 12 months, and he’l put us on at the ark once a month with 5 other bands who agree to it(not quality controlled). We bring 35 people to each gig at £5 a ticket and give all the money to him. In return, He gives us either time in a recording studio, time in a rehearsal studio, or money – all of which will add up to the amount of money we give him first.. ok... Maybe not. I must say I was tempted just for the chance of more opportunities to see that girl on reception. She could probably do a better job of persuading bands to join. I phoned Mike and Steel for our weekly Pizza Hut expedition. Steel never answered, Mike was like ‘Oh i’m at Chloes, I don’t want to move’. So me and Andy went and got the buffet ourselves. Sat down, and some guy who was next to us was like ‘is my crutch in the way where it is’ we were like no, it’s cool. He then bursts into a spiel about how ‘i’m a chef, so i know that when people eat in a restaurant It’s not just about the food, It’s about the space they have to eat’. He then spoke to us for the next hour. Not quite giving us our all important space... He was sitting directly behind Andy, and I was a bit further away – so he was mainly talking to andy.. especially since they were both cockney’s etc. Because of this, Andy then told me he was going to start dropping me into the conversation. “Chris thinks this about that, Don’t you Chris.” And I’m like uh... The best one, which I couldn’t help laughing out loud at, was “What’s that saying you have about spoon’s Chris?” and the guy looks at me, waiting for me to tell him my expression about spoons. Eventually we asked for the bill, and the guy rolls into this ‘joke’ about why haven’t they invented robots for kitchens yet, but he stands up and starts waving his arms at the waitress. Eventually He leaves, and the waitress is like ‘Was he with you?’ We’re like nope.. and then we told her all that he’d been saying to his. She was pretty sound, so we tipped her. Pizza hut.. always an Experience.
I got back to the flat, had a shower, had a shave, went to work! Now that we actually have enough glass collectors working with us – It makes the weekend shift a fair amount easier than during the week.. It’s still tough, and absolutely rammed all the time – But now we can focus on purely serving drinks. On the front bar, If you need a keg changed it’s just a radio call away. You don’t have to leave the bar! Also, having loads of staff on, means that clean up at the end takes no time at all. Which is great. We stayed behind for a pint or 2 after.. A slow pint.. Got home at like 430 or something. I was gonna go up to Maisies, but I assumed they had fallen asleep!(apparently they hadn’t.. gutted). Got home, watched some Smallville.(They start each episode with ‘previously on smallville’ and then show a bunch of clips that have no bearing on what happened in the episode before, it’s just a bunch of stuff that happened before, and it’s not in any context whatsoever.. so you have no idea what’s going on if you miss an episode. Went to bed.
Saturday – Got up pretty late, watched some Smallville and some Southpark or that. Headed to work, It was all good – I was on the back bar meaning I was on keg duties – running up and down the stairs every 20 minutes. I missed pokerface. But luckily the girl played it 3 times.. including 1 minute of it at the end..It’s a good song, but whatever. Hopefully these DJ’s will realise the brilliance of Calvin Harris’ new tune soon enough. Was an alright night.. fairly uneventful(as i remember it.. loadsa shit could’ve gone down). Just got a taxi home after. Got home.. take a guess..watched Smallville!
Sunday – Woke up, stupidly watched an episode of Smallville which I definitely did not have time for! Checked the bus timetables to wherever the fuck I was going(Paintballing in the country!) and realised the only one that wouldn’t make me late was coming to Haymarket in 13 minutes. I got dressed and ran down. Just caught the bus. The bus driver was a dick, made me get off at the wrong stop(it cost £2.40!!) and told me to walk a mile back the way. I realised at about 12.45(we were meeting at 1!) that I had walked a mile in the wrong direction, so I now had 2 miles to walk in 15 minutes. Fuck it, I’m a fast runner, started running. Chow phoned me and said they’d come and pick me up. Thankyou! Paintballing’s pretty good fun. As in.. It’s fairly awesome. I was fairly shite.. To quote Danny, “There’s no rhyme or reason as to where it shoot’s”. It was a very still day, but still the pellets fly all over the place. I’m not actually sure if I hit anyone, but I did provide a lot of covering fire(i.e. not shooting at anything in particular, just keeping the opposition in hiding). My one crowning moment was in a game where we had to touch the opponents barrel, which they were defending from they’re base. From the word go, I sprinted and made it to some cover 3 quarters of the way up the field. Just on the other side of that cover was the barrel. I lay there for a minute or so, waiting for my team to push up. They didn’t. Eventually I was like fuck it, sprinted out(being shot at by about 10 folk) firing my gun and dived ontop of the barrel. The barrel went flying, and I got pummelled. We won! The marshall was like “That was a very good run at the start, have you done paintballing before?” I’m like no. He’s then mutters “that was a very good run at the start”. As I said, I was fairly shit for the rest of the day. At the end the guy said that anyone with any ammo left could have a free for all. Turned out it was just me and this 10 year old boy. We both went behind opposite trees and started trying to get each other. He was being boring and hiding behind a tree, I was like fuck it – Started running in a circle around him – You know, the old circle strafing from Goldeneye(It makes you invincible like the matrix..at least it did on the N64) – I got shot to fuck. He just about hit me in the dick. I’ve got a massive bruise just south. I think I got hit more then than I did throughout the whole day. Got a lift to the bus stop, banged my head on the way out. Maria and stuff picked me up again, and drove me to asda. Again, I hit my head on the way out.. I’m not sure how haha. I went into ASDA and got them to make me a pizza(which I assumed they would cook) Chicken, mushroom, sweetcorn and onion..£2.50. They didn’t cook it so I went to McDonalds. Walked home, cooked my pizza. Quick shower then off to Biddy’s. Again.. This place is always fucking busy. The band were so loud. I really need to start bringing my earplugs with me. Although I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to hear people ordering.. but I don’t care, It’s destroying my ears. Not a bad shift. Up to cappadoccia after, a nice Doner. Although.. This was my first Cappadoccia I have ever had which did not include chips. Still pretty good.. but the chips are a big part you know. Got to Polwarth Roundabout and nicks wee brother was standing in the middle of the roundabout pretending to be abducted by aliens. Up to the flat and finished off my pizza from before. Bed.
Next week – Biddy’s staff night out, Sam’s birthday, work, planning, teaching, learning, decisions, remorse, guilt, snake. I love my snake.
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
It's Been Seven Hours and Fifteen Days
Sleep is for the weak. It’s true. At first I was moaning about the fact I didn’t have any time to sleep, but now I realise that’s a good thing. The past week has been the busiest I’ve been in a long while, literally did next to no relaxing. Fucking love it! Absolute madness. Bear in mind when reading this, if you read the previous weeks blog.. I haven’t actually had a day of nothing since the Thursday before!
Monday – Woke up feeling alot more hungover than I had been planning(seeing as i hadn’t planned on drinking the night before! Doing the phone job 12-6, it was pretty quiet.. but tbh probably a good thing considering I was fucked. Finished that and was ready to go to bed about 7. Steel was like ‘can i have my leads back please’ I couldn’t get in touch with Andy(his leads were there) so i played some fifa. Finally got in touch with Andy and went to get the leads. It was a very tough walk. Took me fucking ages. Got the leads to Steel then hit the hay! Thus passes the only day of the week where I didn’t drink......
Tuesday – Phone job 12-6. I had to phone through a database asking people if they wanted to attend a finance seminar. A lot of the numbers were churches and stuff. I felt kindof bad cos a priest was like ‘we are a monastery.. this is Holy Week.. A very quiet time for us.. We don’t want to attend a finance seminar.’ I apologized and he said ‘God Bless’ Does that count as confession? Finished at 6. Started at Biddy’s at 7. Pretty good night. This American couple of couples gave me loads of tips. There was an acoustic guy doing a covers set.. Good tunes, but very average. The worst was when he tried to do long notes or falsetto.. cringeworthy. I was planning on going straight home after. Maybe getting a kebab. The 2 Seans convinced me to go to dropkicks... i need some sleep haha. But I went, and it was cool. Just had a couple pints.. and a jager. And a vodka. Hayden was absolutely fucked by the time we got there. Good lad, doing some pretty funny dancing. We spent ages talking about tattoos. As I went up candlemaker row, the others went down. I shook Haydens hand, and as he turned he fell and rolled down the hill. Such a funny sight. Looked funny as fuck though!
Wednesday – Phone job 12-3. Felt a little tender, but not too bad. Craig sat in with me for a bit.. and thought it was funny that I essentially just lie to people on the phone. Can’t remember what I did that afternoon. Met Lima to watch the football. We were gonna go to the Cuckoos nest. I swear to god last time I was there, there was football on. Apparently not. Fuck what do we do. Spent the next 40 minutes trying to find a pub to watch the football. Ended up in Bierex where Jonesy was there. Liverpool played pretty rubbish in the second half. Our plan to not drink fell down the pan. Didn’t have that much.. but still. Went to Drouthy Neebors for a bit too, I seen Ritchie and Rod in there. Lima was convinced I had arranged to have my friends bump into me to try and impress her. Yeah and I deliberately had us meet at a pub which doesn’t show football. Her flatmate came in too. Went back to her flat to play some Ludo and listen to some Swedish music. Stayed there because it was raining.. bad move.. I had to get up at 6am cos she had work..
Thursday – Got back to the flat about 7. Nowhere was open to give me breakfast. I bought some orange juice in a newsagent. I thought I was gonna have to teach, but turns out that cos it’s easter holidays I’m off teaching for a couple weeks! Pretty good cos it gave me a chance to rest! Even for a little bit. Started at biddy’s 7. John had organised a big night out, and I actually quite fancied going to meet them for a power hour. (the hour of power). Pretty average night at Biddys. It was fairly busy. I was on the back bar myself for most of the night. There was a band in who were cool. Got away about 145, made it to the hive for 2. Everyone was smashed. Started on the double Soco and coke. The barman was a legend, after buying the first drink he was just like ‘the usual?’. John came up to him and was like ‘i’m getting served next’ the boy told him to fuck off. Good lad. John.. don’t be a dick. I hammered through the drinks. Went for a dance. Checkout number 7 and 3 were there. I had put my hood on my head and danced like a beast. Mikes mate mani was there. I said something to him and he was like ‘mate your a fucking genius’(or something.. it was a good moment). For some reason(bearing in mind, i’m not as drunk as everyone else at this point) we all took our tops off and danced on the stage. We even had like 5 randoms join us. Pretty funny. Bumped into Jamesy, he was with some bird.. so I danced with her mate. Some good dancing I must admit. It was ideal, because she had a bag i could put my jumper in. There was an afterparty at johns, but me and Jamesy got these girls on a bus. I then pissed in a letterbox and we got a taxi. We beat Aidan and Mike to johns. John was playing Piano(drunkenly). There was a puppy there called Eddy(effie) and some pretty nice pizza. For what ever reason, John threw Me, Mike and Aidan down the stairs. And then threw an armchair, and a pine chair(i’m not sure why i keep calling it a pine chair.. i have no idea what kind of wood it was) down the stairs at us. That was so dangerous haha! Could have ended up in disaster. John somehow cut his gun, it deflated. Oh i almost forgot about the milkshake.. Mike was drinking a milkshake out of the cup of destiny(a tin cup which hasn’t been washed for over 80 years). I seen the funniest tea pot.. and next to it was an even funnier tea pot. Mike spilled the milkshake over the floor, and used johns clean trousers to mop it up. John chased us with Numchuks. John seriously, that’s not a joke.. you will kill someone with them(he just missed mikes head, and made a massive dent in the door). Eventually went to bed, James had stolen Finlays bed, and i had to sleep underneath that.. With no real covers. Gutted.
Friday – Felt pretty rough when I got up around 9. Considering I went to bed at like 6 – no suprise. Chilled about in the morning, John did a lot of tidying.. I did a bit(well i made my bed). We took Eddy for a walk. I got him to chase me. Went up to mikes eventually and had a bacon sandwich. Made plans to go for the pizza hut buffet. Got the bus up to Polwarth and tried to get in touch with steel. He wasn’t having it so we rang his bell.. his flatmate Ben answered, steel was in the shower. He was listening to quite a cool band, can’t remember who. I could have used this time to shower.. but noooo. So we went down to pizza hut. Walking past santans, this old homeless guy goes to us(in an American accent) ‘You gotta get your shit together’ I looked at him.. unsure what to say.. Steel just goes ‘for sure brother’ and the guys like ‘right on’. Steel speaks the language. Brilliant. We got to Pizza hut and the girls like ‘the buffets not on because it’s a bank holiday, but there is this happy hour menu’ we were just like ‘Lets do it!’ and she was like ‘yeah let’s do it!’ Let’s do it! It was £14 for 4 people(you get a pizza, garlic bread and a drink each) but there was only 3 of us. We asked if we could still order for 4. She was like yeah. We didn’t know what to order for the invisible man though. It was pretty good though, we got a big jug of coke, more garlic bread and an extra pizza. Pretty good. I wasn’t even that hungry though, so tired. Still eat lots of food. We had a good chat about stuff. Mainly just utter shite. There was a family next to us and we just heard the mum shouting at the kid ‘shut it you’. It reminded Steel of a time when he heard a mum telling their kid ‘shut your face or i’l kick your cunt in’.. fucking mental. I think we agreed Pizza hut should be a weekly thing. We were unsure on etiquette at the end.. do we leave the money on the table or give it to someone. We left it on the table, and hoped the family of delinquents didn’t pick it up! Went up to mine and played Fifa. I beat steel 5-0. He was rubbish.. but it was an amazing game. Every goal i scored was fucking amazing. The first one I took it round the keeper and walked it into the net. The next one was an overhead kick. The 3rd one I passed the ball across the box and backheeled it into the net. The next I chipped the keeper. I think the 5th may have been a belter from 30 yards. This was all in the first half.. I never got a goal into him in the 2nd half! Jumped in the shower, listened to some Gaga. Played some more fifa. Andy called me at 630.. apparently i was meant to start at 6.. I had been convinced 100% it was a 7 start. Ran in. Decent shift.. it wasn’t actually that busy for a Friday night. It looked busy mobbed from where i was at the back bar, but as soon as you went past the toilets it was dead. Because of this we were able to have everything that we could possibly have done by 1 oclock done. Got away pretty much on 130. I had been planning on going to the hive myself to meet up with Aij, Mike, and all the girls. Everyone from Biddys was up for coming, so we had a proper crew with us. I went in to faith to say hi to john.. he was wrestling some guy on the ground who was shouting ‘why are you hurting me’. Apparently he was a racist or something. Headed on up to the hive. I was completely ready for catch up time. Or so I thought.
Got into the hive, immediately met Becca and Lois. Went to the bar, got ahold of our regular Jager-pourer – who is pretty sound actually, I like her – I ordered.. 2 jager bombs, and 4 double whisky and cokes. I asked her for a pint glass, and she was like ‘whats it for..? because i only have 4 and i need them for beer’. I said i was planning on pouring all my drinks into it, just so it’s easier to carry, but if she couldn’t spare it then it didn’t matter. She was like ‘na i’l give you it’. I also asked for a straw. I then took a sip of the drink, and my god.. I think all the whisky had gone to the top.. it was absolutely horrid. Ugh. But nonetheless, i had just spent £17 on drinks..and i was gonna drink it. Went to find people.. found all the folk from biddys, who it looked like they weren’t up for the crazy binge i was doing. No wonder.. why was i doing it! Btw.. there was a funny situation happening at this point.. but i shan’t utter it hear, if anyone wants to know then ask. I found it hilarious tho. Found Annie and Roisin and Lois and Shona and danced with them, Annie announced her undying love for me and said she would kill me if i didn’t go to her party. I told her i was going over and over again.. i actually need to find a way to make it to this party. I still hadn’t found mike or aij. I was quite intent on finding them. I Dispatched a search party. A crap search party, but a search party nonetheless. Laura said she had found them, i told her to bring them to me. She didn’t. Fair enough i guess. I got another drink in.. only 2 double whiskys this time.. bad chat haha. Laura asked if i was just drinking a pint of coke, i said yes. Gave her a taste and her reaction was so funny. I think i spoke to Katy for a while aswell.. or maybe i spoke to laura about katy. Unsure. Found them. Well i found Aidan who was with Paramore(I can now see why this is insulting to her.. Paramore isn’t actually that hot, i now realise she’s ganting. Lucy, you are much better looking than Hayley Williams, just learn how to sing like her and you are absolutely minted for life). They directed me to mike, in the cocktail bar. I convinced some guy to walk up to mike with me hiding behind him(kindof like a Trojan horse) and i jumped out on him and Ahmed. Went for a dance with Lucy, and i bust her nose open. I felt so bad, but it was so funny cos she didn’t really notice it was bleeding. Oops... That’l teach her to dance with me. Met the Biddy’s crew, Mike was like ‘man..why are all these people wearing the same T shirt as you. And why are they so hot?’ haha. We went for a dance, and by now it must’ve been like 2.55. Things get a bit hazy here.. I was trying to get people back to the flat, to drink my 3 cans of tenants and craigs bottle of vodka.. probably a good idea that no one came ha. Me, Laura and Lois went back to Ahmeds. I was really drunk by this point, Ahmed wouldn’t let anyone pay for the taxi.. good lad. I apparently spent some time outside throwing up, before going up and throwing up some more.. Ahmed called a taxi and gave me money for it. What a legend haha. I owe him a drink or 8 haha. Got home, got a bowl for my bed and went to sleep.
Saturday – Woke up feeling pretty goosed. The good thing being i hadn’t thrown up in my bowl, i only spat in it once. I went on spotify and listened to all the different versions of Nothing Compares To You. And i have no idea why. Our shower had been blocked by hair(apparently mine, but I don’t accept that) and was turning into a bath the more showers we had. So me and Craig did an extensive clean of the bathroom, it was epic. And quite effective. We made gloves out of plastic bags. I attempted to throw our bag of rubbish onto the street, but i didn’t. Craig went in the shower, i started watching the football. 25 seconds and JVoH had scored.. it was a shit goal, but fucking great! The rest of the game was pretty crap, ended 1-1. Went down to daves for a practise. He was late again. That is game over. I went mental at him again. I was like ‘ I could’ve had an extra 10 minutes in bed!’ haha. Practised, Drove up to Studios, Soundchecked, Me and Dave went looking for some food. Dave made me drink beer. It wasn’t fair(but thanks for buying them) I could not handle it though. The deal had been for him to buy me a McDonalds.. instead, he bought me Smoked Salmon and Fajitas. Not your typical hangover food, but pretty fucking good nonetheless! Spent a good while talking about his house, and living conditions etcetc. He needs to be a hard assed landlord otherwise it will fall to pieces! We lost track of time and got back to studios for about 7.20. We were meant to be on at 8. Got some drinks in. Craig on bar duties. Beer was not going down well. Not well atall. We made full use of the dressing room, hanging up coats etc. These crazy young cats(your typical neddy young kid band who think they’re the bees knees) were sitting with us. Pretty funny, I was so fucked from the night before so i was just talking pish to them. Cormac was talking to them too, but he didn’t really know what was going on. Went and played our set. It was pretty cool.. although i wish the guy from emergenza would stop trying to set my bass up for me.. Just leave it alone. Pretty good set..considering it was the first time the 5 of us had played together in over a month. Andy taylor was there after, had a good chat with him. Promised I’d take him out to get pished with us. That neddy band did a cover of supersonic which i thought was pretty ace(also totally lame.. i mean come on). I moved onto the double vodka and red bull because I just couldn’t handle the beer. After the bands had finished we went up for a chat with our legend of a promoter(i actually love him), all the bands were getting told about the next gig and asking questions and stuff. It was so funny, everyone was so serious. I was just asking stupid questions that didn’t even make sense. Basically to stall so that I didn’t have to leave. I chummed Craig up to get change for the bar, and we went everywhere but could not get any change! Eventually got some at the Slug and Lettuce. The manager was pretty sound, and me and craig made gestures behind her back which were funny. We went back to tell the bouncers from walkabout that we had got some change.. why.. I’m not sure, but craig said it was nice to be nice. Some girl had been chatting craig up during the gig apparently, We went out and craig was like ‘what’s happenin’ and her boyfriend glared angrily.. so funny. Or sorry, it was fuckin brilliant. Got back to studios and I remembered that people always say to me ‘when your ready’ when they try and get served, but be polite. So i was like to craig ‘when your ready...’ i don’t know if he got it tho haha! I then went on a search to find my bandmates.. i couldn’t find anyone. I was like fuck. Tried phoning them, nothing. Eventually got in touch with Dave who said they were in the Black bull because they were having to pay to get into studios. So basically.. I was on my norman. I spoke to mate in the cloakroom for a while, but A bit too much cos my drunken chat was annoying him ha. Cameron came down, and I spoke with him for a while. He said he didn’t like just standing talking, so I danced with him too, and he twirled me a round which was a bit strange. Drunk some more.. sent drunken texts.. Changed contacts in my phone to reflect peoples ages.. just wanted to pretend like i had friends haha. After what seemed like an eternity.. Kara, Gillian, Harry and Rory came! Managed to add them all to Craig’s guest list which was really cool. Went in, introduced them to craig and we started drinking. I was pretty drunk by this stage.. We danced and sang ‘Take Me Down To the Paradise City’ aswell as various other songs. It was brilliant. We decided Studios is the new hive. If only other people we knew went there.. Kieron and Dunc and stuff were there too. Kara, Gee, Haz and Roz left at some stage. I remember Craig saying to me ‘good effort man, you’ve had loads of vodka’, then apparently he found me wandering about on my own.. i went upstairs to ‘help’ him clear the bands room, although I just watched. Then went down, he gave me a shot of Sambuca and I left. Now this is where I don’t know what happened. I remember walking through the meadows with Jo.. and we walked to Liam’s party. However, I don’t know where I met her.. because I’m pretty sure she wasn’t at Studios.. which would lead me to believe I maybe went to the hive. Hmmmmm.
(update!) having spoken with Jo, apparently i did meet her in the hive.. although i have no idea why i was in the hive!
Got to the party, Don’t know what happened, or who was there, but loads of people were there, and they all left! I was gonna go sleep in the box room, but for some reason I played basketball in hashy’s room for ages... good lad. Thus began a night of the utmost shite being talked. It was fucking ridiculous the amount of nonsense that was being talked and covered. It was me, Harry Potter, that guy from JLS and one of the twins from big brother – there may have been more people there at some stage, but i’m not really sure. There was so much stuff we were talking about and doing, I cannot for the life of me remember half of it – but it was one of these situations(as the twin pointed out in the morning) that anything we said, we laughed at.. even if it wasn’t funny atall. It was funny though. I went through all the versions of Nothing Compares to you again, amazing. We watched this guy called Chi City..basically a black gangster style guy who has been given a parking ticket and sets out to kill the ticket.. ‘hit it with a freezepop’ ‘hit it with a whole gang of freeze pops’ ‘soap to ya dome bitch’. Its fucking funny, check it out on youtube. We then started trying to see who everyone’s lookalike was. Harry potter kept singing snow patrol at me, so I re-enacted the video from chasing cars. The twin was trying to show us how Sam looks like the kid with the drum in Glosiola by Sigur Ros.. but she paused it at this bit, and there was just like rocks and stuff. The sound was muted too. When she unpaused it, a fox appeared. I swear to god i have never laughed so much in the past 5 minutes. I promised them that I would make Nick dress up in a Thunderbirds costume. Also, how gutted would you be if you were Thunderbird 5? The other guys get to fly all over the place and attack people and save the world.. Thunderbird 5 just sits in his space station not eating any solids. Fuck all happens up there. We spent ages trying to find stuff on spotify.. stuff like Mass Dynamo Syncopation etc. It eventually became morning, and JLS man turned into a sheep, and the twin fell asleep. Me and Harry Potter were the hardcore ones who just didn’t go to bed. I managed to convert Harry to the Christian faith.. even though we couldn’t figure out what exactly happened at easter.. Jesus got pashed and fell into a cave.. woke up two days later. Some slightly Blasphemus stuff. He quite liked the idea that no matter what you did, how bad it was, you can just go to a priest and he’l be like ‘bless you my child’ and your back into heaven! It’s barry.
It’s kindof hard to decide where Saturday ends and Sunday begins, but We’ll go with here!
Sunday - The sheep woke up and was like ‘shit.. Some guy was meant to phone me at 9 to sell my car.. He doesn’t have my number, but he has my postcode’. Uhh.. how do you think people phone you? Via your postcode..duuuh. At this point i was trying to leave, but I couldn’t find my shoes. Literally spent like 3 hours looking for them. I was pretty convinced I arrived with shoes. Hashy wouldn’t loan me any shoes even though he had about 300 pairs...Great lad. Stalker got up and we looked at all the photos from the night.. I wasn’t in any of them, so we took one and added that to the collection. Eventually I discovered that some girl was sleeping on top of my shoes, what a cow! I then left and walked up to my folks. Totally fucked, spoke to Kara on the phone and her voice was so distant to me. It was crazy. I was totally fucked. She googled easter and gave me the goods on what happened exactly. Got up to my folks and was fucked.. I think they must’ve been like what the hell is going on. It felt like I’d just got back from T in the Park. Got my mum to cut me out of my shoes then I went to bed. Crashed out for ages then woke up thinking I’d slept in for work. Actually I hadn’t, but it was a slight panic. Had some pasta and a bath, then I went back to the flat for like 15 minutes, then off to work. Work was an absolute struggle. I was so fucked. Also.. I thought Easter was a time for family etc, why the fuck do so many people go out drinking on Easter Sunday?? Dicks. There was a big brawl at 3 Sisters so it got closed and loads of folk from there came to Biddys. Great. Even busier. I just wasn’t functioning properly. It was so busy, and there wasn’t enough staff on, so things got pretty messy. A fair amount of broken glass about the place, no one able to clean it up.. aaah. I finally finished and went to Capadoccia for a nice juicy kebab. I met John in there who was absolutely cunted. It sounded like he’d been out on the pish, then called to go and help at the 3 sisters, then went back on the pish.. He gave me a present of a lighter, which was just the most thoughtful gift ever. I lit it on his face. Walking down the road, this girl was like ‘are you Kevin?’ I was like no, but do you want a chip? She declared me the nicest boy she’d ever met..that night. Oh thanks! I was like why did you think I was Kevin? Apparently she had been meeting this guy called Kevin.. oh fuck.. actually, yes I am Kevin!! I forgot. Got back to the flat, had a pint of milk and watched south park. It felt actually amazing to get to sleep. Actually amazing. Great sleep.
Next week – working more, drinking less trying to sleep more but it’s tough. Annie’s party on Saturday – I am seriously trying everything in my power to make it along. How far is it to cycle? If anyones up for giving me a lift, I shall pay you(not that much but some). Also trying to get insured on my dads new campervan..btw..its pretty cool. I don’t know what to do! I really need to make it to this party or Annie will kill me. Going Paintballing for the Chow’s birthday on Sunday. That’l be barry likes. I’m gonna try and not drink. But It’s Craig’s birthday tonight aswell. Hope this blog takes you as long to read as it took me to write!
Monday – Woke up feeling alot more hungover than I had been planning(seeing as i hadn’t planned on drinking the night before! Doing the phone job 12-6, it was pretty quiet.. but tbh probably a good thing considering I was fucked. Finished that and was ready to go to bed about 7. Steel was like ‘can i have my leads back please’ I couldn’t get in touch with Andy(his leads were there) so i played some fifa. Finally got in touch with Andy and went to get the leads. It was a very tough walk. Took me fucking ages. Got the leads to Steel then hit the hay! Thus passes the only day of the week where I didn’t drink......
Tuesday – Phone job 12-6. I had to phone through a database asking people if they wanted to attend a finance seminar. A lot of the numbers were churches and stuff. I felt kindof bad cos a priest was like ‘we are a monastery.. this is Holy Week.. A very quiet time for us.. We don’t want to attend a finance seminar.’ I apologized and he said ‘God Bless’ Does that count as confession? Finished at 6. Started at Biddy’s at 7. Pretty good night. This American couple of couples gave me loads of tips. There was an acoustic guy doing a covers set.. Good tunes, but very average. The worst was when he tried to do long notes or falsetto.. cringeworthy. I was planning on going straight home after. Maybe getting a kebab. The 2 Seans convinced me to go to dropkicks... i need some sleep haha. But I went, and it was cool. Just had a couple pints.. and a jager. And a vodka. Hayden was absolutely fucked by the time we got there. Good lad, doing some pretty funny dancing. We spent ages talking about tattoos. As I went up candlemaker row, the others went down. I shook Haydens hand, and as he turned he fell and rolled down the hill. Such a funny sight. Looked funny as fuck though!
Wednesday – Phone job 12-3. Felt a little tender, but not too bad. Craig sat in with me for a bit.. and thought it was funny that I essentially just lie to people on the phone. Can’t remember what I did that afternoon. Met Lima to watch the football. We were gonna go to the Cuckoos nest. I swear to god last time I was there, there was football on. Apparently not. Fuck what do we do. Spent the next 40 minutes trying to find a pub to watch the football. Ended up in Bierex where Jonesy was there. Liverpool played pretty rubbish in the second half. Our plan to not drink fell down the pan. Didn’t have that much.. but still. Went to Drouthy Neebors for a bit too, I seen Ritchie and Rod in there. Lima was convinced I had arranged to have my friends bump into me to try and impress her. Yeah and I deliberately had us meet at a pub which doesn’t show football. Her flatmate came in too. Went back to her flat to play some Ludo and listen to some Swedish music. Stayed there because it was raining.. bad move.. I had to get up at 6am cos she had work..
Thursday – Got back to the flat about 7. Nowhere was open to give me breakfast. I bought some orange juice in a newsagent. I thought I was gonna have to teach, but turns out that cos it’s easter holidays I’m off teaching for a couple weeks! Pretty good cos it gave me a chance to rest! Even for a little bit. Started at biddy’s 7. John had organised a big night out, and I actually quite fancied going to meet them for a power hour. (the hour of power). Pretty average night at Biddys. It was fairly busy. I was on the back bar myself for most of the night. There was a band in who were cool. Got away about 145, made it to the hive for 2. Everyone was smashed. Started on the double Soco and coke. The barman was a legend, after buying the first drink he was just like ‘the usual?’. John came up to him and was like ‘i’m getting served next’ the boy told him to fuck off. Good lad. John.. don’t be a dick. I hammered through the drinks. Went for a dance. Checkout number 7 and 3 were there. I had put my hood on my head and danced like a beast. Mikes mate mani was there. I said something to him and he was like ‘mate your a fucking genius’(or something.. it was a good moment). For some reason(bearing in mind, i’m not as drunk as everyone else at this point) we all took our tops off and danced on the stage. We even had like 5 randoms join us. Pretty funny. Bumped into Jamesy, he was with some bird.. so I danced with her mate. Some good dancing I must admit. It was ideal, because she had a bag i could put my jumper in. There was an afterparty at johns, but me and Jamesy got these girls on a bus. I then pissed in a letterbox and we got a taxi. We beat Aidan and Mike to johns. John was playing Piano(drunkenly). There was a puppy there called Eddy(effie) and some pretty nice pizza. For what ever reason, John threw Me, Mike and Aidan down the stairs. And then threw an armchair, and a pine chair(i’m not sure why i keep calling it a pine chair.. i have no idea what kind of wood it was) down the stairs at us. That was so dangerous haha! Could have ended up in disaster. John somehow cut his gun, it deflated. Oh i almost forgot about the milkshake.. Mike was drinking a milkshake out of the cup of destiny(a tin cup which hasn’t been washed for over 80 years). I seen the funniest tea pot.. and next to it was an even funnier tea pot. Mike spilled the milkshake over the floor, and used johns clean trousers to mop it up. John chased us with Numchuks. John seriously, that’s not a joke.. you will kill someone with them(he just missed mikes head, and made a massive dent in the door). Eventually went to bed, James had stolen Finlays bed, and i had to sleep underneath that.. With no real covers. Gutted.
Friday – Felt pretty rough when I got up around 9. Considering I went to bed at like 6 – no suprise. Chilled about in the morning, John did a lot of tidying.. I did a bit(well i made my bed). We took Eddy for a walk. I got him to chase me. Went up to mikes eventually and had a bacon sandwich. Made plans to go for the pizza hut buffet. Got the bus up to Polwarth and tried to get in touch with steel. He wasn’t having it so we rang his bell.. his flatmate Ben answered, steel was in the shower. He was listening to quite a cool band, can’t remember who. I could have used this time to shower.. but noooo. So we went down to pizza hut. Walking past santans, this old homeless guy goes to us(in an American accent) ‘You gotta get your shit together’ I looked at him.. unsure what to say.. Steel just goes ‘for sure brother’ and the guys like ‘right on’. Steel speaks the language. Brilliant. We got to Pizza hut and the girls like ‘the buffets not on because it’s a bank holiday, but there is this happy hour menu’ we were just like ‘Lets do it!’ and she was like ‘yeah let’s do it!’ Let’s do it! It was £14 for 4 people(you get a pizza, garlic bread and a drink each) but there was only 3 of us. We asked if we could still order for 4. She was like yeah. We didn’t know what to order for the invisible man though. It was pretty good though, we got a big jug of coke, more garlic bread and an extra pizza. Pretty good. I wasn’t even that hungry though, so tired. Still eat lots of food. We had a good chat about stuff. Mainly just utter shite. There was a family next to us and we just heard the mum shouting at the kid ‘shut it you’. It reminded Steel of a time when he heard a mum telling their kid ‘shut your face or i’l kick your cunt in’.. fucking mental. I think we agreed Pizza hut should be a weekly thing. We were unsure on etiquette at the end.. do we leave the money on the table or give it to someone. We left it on the table, and hoped the family of delinquents didn’t pick it up! Went up to mine and played Fifa. I beat steel 5-0. He was rubbish.. but it was an amazing game. Every goal i scored was fucking amazing. The first one I took it round the keeper and walked it into the net. The next one was an overhead kick. The 3rd one I passed the ball across the box and backheeled it into the net. The next I chipped the keeper. I think the 5th may have been a belter from 30 yards. This was all in the first half.. I never got a goal into him in the 2nd half! Jumped in the shower, listened to some Gaga. Played some more fifa. Andy called me at 630.. apparently i was meant to start at 6.. I had been convinced 100% it was a 7 start. Ran in. Decent shift.. it wasn’t actually that busy for a Friday night. It looked busy mobbed from where i was at the back bar, but as soon as you went past the toilets it was dead. Because of this we were able to have everything that we could possibly have done by 1 oclock done. Got away pretty much on 130. I had been planning on going to the hive myself to meet up with Aij, Mike, and all the girls. Everyone from Biddys was up for coming, so we had a proper crew with us. I went in to faith to say hi to john.. he was wrestling some guy on the ground who was shouting ‘why are you hurting me’. Apparently he was a racist or something. Headed on up to the hive. I was completely ready for catch up time. Or so I thought.
Got into the hive, immediately met Becca and Lois. Went to the bar, got ahold of our regular Jager-pourer – who is pretty sound actually, I like her – I ordered.. 2 jager bombs, and 4 double whisky and cokes. I asked her for a pint glass, and she was like ‘whats it for..? because i only have 4 and i need them for beer’. I said i was planning on pouring all my drinks into it, just so it’s easier to carry, but if she couldn’t spare it then it didn’t matter. She was like ‘na i’l give you it’. I also asked for a straw. I then took a sip of the drink, and my god.. I think all the whisky had gone to the top.. it was absolutely horrid. Ugh. But nonetheless, i had just spent £17 on drinks..and i was gonna drink it. Went to find people.. found all the folk from biddys, who it looked like they weren’t up for the crazy binge i was doing. No wonder.. why was i doing it! Btw.. there was a funny situation happening at this point.. but i shan’t utter it hear, if anyone wants to know then ask. I found it hilarious tho. Found Annie and Roisin and Lois and Shona and danced with them, Annie announced her undying love for me and said she would kill me if i didn’t go to her party. I told her i was going over and over again.. i actually need to find a way to make it to this party. I still hadn’t found mike or aij. I was quite intent on finding them. I Dispatched a search party. A crap search party, but a search party nonetheless. Laura said she had found them, i told her to bring them to me. She didn’t. Fair enough i guess. I got another drink in.. only 2 double whiskys this time.. bad chat haha. Laura asked if i was just drinking a pint of coke, i said yes. Gave her a taste and her reaction was so funny. I think i spoke to Katy for a while aswell.. or maybe i spoke to laura about katy. Unsure. Found them. Well i found Aidan who was with Paramore(I can now see why this is insulting to her.. Paramore isn’t actually that hot, i now realise she’s ganting. Lucy, you are much better looking than Hayley Williams, just learn how to sing like her and you are absolutely minted for life). They directed me to mike, in the cocktail bar. I convinced some guy to walk up to mike with me hiding behind him(kindof like a Trojan horse) and i jumped out on him and Ahmed. Went for a dance with Lucy, and i bust her nose open. I felt so bad, but it was so funny cos she didn’t really notice it was bleeding. Oops... That’l teach her to dance with me. Met the Biddy’s crew, Mike was like ‘man..why are all these people wearing the same T shirt as you. And why are they so hot?’ haha. We went for a dance, and by now it must’ve been like 2.55. Things get a bit hazy here.. I was trying to get people back to the flat, to drink my 3 cans of tenants and craigs bottle of vodka.. probably a good idea that no one came ha. Me, Laura and Lois went back to Ahmeds. I was really drunk by this point, Ahmed wouldn’t let anyone pay for the taxi.. good lad. I apparently spent some time outside throwing up, before going up and throwing up some more.. Ahmed called a taxi and gave me money for it. What a legend haha. I owe him a drink or 8 haha. Got home, got a bowl for my bed and went to sleep.
Saturday – Woke up feeling pretty goosed. The good thing being i hadn’t thrown up in my bowl, i only spat in it once. I went on spotify and listened to all the different versions of Nothing Compares To You. And i have no idea why. Our shower had been blocked by hair(apparently mine, but I don’t accept that) and was turning into a bath the more showers we had. So me and Craig did an extensive clean of the bathroom, it was epic. And quite effective. We made gloves out of plastic bags. I attempted to throw our bag of rubbish onto the street, but i didn’t. Craig went in the shower, i started watching the football. 25 seconds and JVoH had scored.. it was a shit goal, but fucking great! The rest of the game was pretty crap, ended 1-1. Went down to daves for a practise. He was late again. That is game over. I went mental at him again. I was like ‘ I could’ve had an extra 10 minutes in bed!’ haha. Practised, Drove up to Studios, Soundchecked, Me and Dave went looking for some food. Dave made me drink beer. It wasn’t fair(but thanks for buying them) I could not handle it though. The deal had been for him to buy me a McDonalds.. instead, he bought me Smoked Salmon and Fajitas. Not your typical hangover food, but pretty fucking good nonetheless! Spent a good while talking about his house, and living conditions etcetc. He needs to be a hard assed landlord otherwise it will fall to pieces! We lost track of time and got back to studios for about 7.20. We were meant to be on at 8. Got some drinks in. Craig on bar duties. Beer was not going down well. Not well atall. We made full use of the dressing room, hanging up coats etc. These crazy young cats(your typical neddy young kid band who think they’re the bees knees) were sitting with us. Pretty funny, I was so fucked from the night before so i was just talking pish to them. Cormac was talking to them too, but he didn’t really know what was going on. Went and played our set. It was pretty cool.. although i wish the guy from emergenza would stop trying to set my bass up for me.. Just leave it alone. Pretty good set..considering it was the first time the 5 of us had played together in over a month. Andy taylor was there after, had a good chat with him. Promised I’d take him out to get pished with us. That neddy band did a cover of supersonic which i thought was pretty ace(also totally lame.. i mean come on). I moved onto the double vodka and red bull because I just couldn’t handle the beer. After the bands had finished we went up for a chat with our legend of a promoter(i actually love him), all the bands were getting told about the next gig and asking questions and stuff. It was so funny, everyone was so serious. I was just asking stupid questions that didn’t even make sense. Basically to stall so that I didn’t have to leave. I chummed Craig up to get change for the bar, and we went everywhere but could not get any change! Eventually got some at the Slug and Lettuce. The manager was pretty sound, and me and craig made gestures behind her back which were funny. We went back to tell the bouncers from walkabout that we had got some change.. why.. I’m not sure, but craig said it was nice to be nice. Some girl had been chatting craig up during the gig apparently, We went out and craig was like ‘what’s happenin’ and her boyfriend glared angrily.. so funny. Or sorry, it was fuckin brilliant. Got back to studios and I remembered that people always say to me ‘when your ready’ when they try and get served, but be polite. So i was like to craig ‘when your ready...’ i don’t know if he got it tho haha! I then went on a search to find my bandmates.. i couldn’t find anyone. I was like fuck. Tried phoning them, nothing. Eventually got in touch with Dave who said they were in the Black bull because they were having to pay to get into studios. So basically.. I was on my norman. I spoke to mate in the cloakroom for a while, but A bit too much cos my drunken chat was annoying him ha. Cameron came down, and I spoke with him for a while. He said he didn’t like just standing talking, so I danced with him too, and he twirled me a round which was a bit strange. Drunk some more.. sent drunken texts.. Changed contacts in my phone to reflect peoples ages.. just wanted to pretend like i had friends haha. After what seemed like an eternity.. Kara, Gillian, Harry and Rory came! Managed to add them all to Craig’s guest list which was really cool. Went in, introduced them to craig and we started drinking. I was pretty drunk by this stage.. We danced and sang ‘Take Me Down To the Paradise City’ aswell as various other songs. It was brilliant. We decided Studios is the new hive. If only other people we knew went there.. Kieron and Dunc and stuff were there too. Kara, Gee, Haz and Roz left at some stage. I remember Craig saying to me ‘good effort man, you’ve had loads of vodka’, then apparently he found me wandering about on my own.. i went upstairs to ‘help’ him clear the bands room, although I just watched. Then went down, he gave me a shot of Sambuca and I left. Now this is where I don’t know what happened. I remember walking through the meadows with Jo.. and we walked to Liam’s party. However, I don’t know where I met her.. because I’m pretty sure she wasn’t at Studios.. which would lead me to believe I maybe went to the hive. Hmmmmm.
(update!) having spoken with Jo, apparently i did meet her in the hive.. although i have no idea why i was in the hive!
Got to the party, Don’t know what happened, or who was there, but loads of people were there, and they all left! I was gonna go sleep in the box room, but for some reason I played basketball in hashy’s room for ages... good lad. Thus began a night of the utmost shite being talked. It was fucking ridiculous the amount of nonsense that was being talked and covered. It was me, Harry Potter, that guy from JLS and one of the twins from big brother – there may have been more people there at some stage, but i’m not really sure. There was so much stuff we were talking about and doing, I cannot for the life of me remember half of it – but it was one of these situations(as the twin pointed out in the morning) that anything we said, we laughed at.. even if it wasn’t funny atall. It was funny though. I went through all the versions of Nothing Compares to you again, amazing. We watched this guy called Chi City..basically a black gangster style guy who has been given a parking ticket and sets out to kill the ticket.. ‘hit it with a freezepop’ ‘hit it with a whole gang of freeze pops’ ‘soap to ya dome bitch’. Its fucking funny, check it out on youtube. We then started trying to see who everyone’s lookalike was. Harry potter kept singing snow patrol at me, so I re-enacted the video from chasing cars. The twin was trying to show us how Sam looks like the kid with the drum in Glosiola by Sigur Ros.. but she paused it at this bit, and there was just like rocks and stuff. The sound was muted too. When she unpaused it, a fox appeared. I swear to god i have never laughed so much in the past 5 minutes. I promised them that I would make Nick dress up in a Thunderbirds costume. Also, how gutted would you be if you were Thunderbird 5? The other guys get to fly all over the place and attack people and save the world.. Thunderbird 5 just sits in his space station not eating any solids. Fuck all happens up there. We spent ages trying to find stuff on spotify.. stuff like Mass Dynamo Syncopation etc. It eventually became morning, and JLS man turned into a sheep, and the twin fell asleep. Me and Harry Potter were the hardcore ones who just didn’t go to bed. I managed to convert Harry to the Christian faith.. even though we couldn’t figure out what exactly happened at easter.. Jesus got pashed and fell into a cave.. woke up two days later. Some slightly Blasphemus stuff. He quite liked the idea that no matter what you did, how bad it was, you can just go to a priest and he’l be like ‘bless you my child’ and your back into heaven! It’s barry.
It’s kindof hard to decide where Saturday ends and Sunday begins, but We’ll go with here!
Sunday - The sheep woke up and was like ‘shit.. Some guy was meant to phone me at 9 to sell my car.. He doesn’t have my number, but he has my postcode’. Uhh.. how do you think people phone you? Via your postcode..duuuh. At this point i was trying to leave, but I couldn’t find my shoes. Literally spent like 3 hours looking for them. I was pretty convinced I arrived with shoes. Hashy wouldn’t loan me any shoes even though he had about 300 pairs...Great lad. Stalker got up and we looked at all the photos from the night.. I wasn’t in any of them, so we took one and added that to the collection. Eventually I discovered that some girl was sleeping on top of my shoes, what a cow! I then left and walked up to my folks. Totally fucked, spoke to Kara on the phone and her voice was so distant to me. It was crazy. I was totally fucked. She googled easter and gave me the goods on what happened exactly. Got up to my folks and was fucked.. I think they must’ve been like what the hell is going on. It felt like I’d just got back from T in the Park. Got my mum to cut me out of my shoes then I went to bed. Crashed out for ages then woke up thinking I’d slept in for work. Actually I hadn’t, but it was a slight panic. Had some pasta and a bath, then I went back to the flat for like 15 minutes, then off to work. Work was an absolute struggle. I was so fucked. Also.. I thought Easter was a time for family etc, why the fuck do so many people go out drinking on Easter Sunday?? Dicks. There was a big brawl at 3 Sisters so it got closed and loads of folk from there came to Biddys. Great. Even busier. I just wasn’t functioning properly. It was so busy, and there wasn’t enough staff on, so things got pretty messy. A fair amount of broken glass about the place, no one able to clean it up.. aaah. I finally finished and went to Capadoccia for a nice juicy kebab. I met John in there who was absolutely cunted. It sounded like he’d been out on the pish, then called to go and help at the 3 sisters, then went back on the pish.. He gave me a present of a lighter, which was just the most thoughtful gift ever. I lit it on his face. Walking down the road, this girl was like ‘are you Kevin?’ I was like no, but do you want a chip? She declared me the nicest boy she’d ever met..that night. Oh thanks! I was like why did you think I was Kevin? Apparently she had been meeting this guy called Kevin.. oh fuck.. actually, yes I am Kevin!! I forgot. Got back to the flat, had a pint of milk and watched south park. It felt actually amazing to get to sleep. Actually amazing. Great sleep.
Next week – working more, drinking less trying to sleep more but it’s tough. Annie’s party on Saturday – I am seriously trying everything in my power to make it along. How far is it to cycle? If anyones up for giving me a lift, I shall pay you(not that much but some). Also trying to get insured on my dads new campervan..btw..its pretty cool. I don’t know what to do! I really need to make it to this party or Annie will kill me. Going Paintballing for the Chow’s birthday on Sunday. That’l be barry likes. I’m gonna try and not drink. But It’s Craig’s birthday tonight aswell. Hope this blog takes you as long to read as it took me to write!
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