Hive On Tour: Monkey Loving Fun

Day 4 – Monday – Got up, it was pretty cracking to have an en-suite bathroom and no queue for a shower. Just like being at home(almost). Dumped our stuff with the man downstairs and headed in search for some food. The heat was mental, almost unbearable. We found a café in a square… they told us all they could make was ham and cheese sandwiches, or French omelette's. Strange. It turned out to be fucking expensive too. We were off to Gibraltar today. I’m not sure how much anyone knows about Gibraltar, so I shall briefly explain(wrongly). It was in the hands of the Arabs until 1314 When 1000 Spaniards led by a shepherd attacked and claimed it. At some stage, it was awarded to Britain in some form of treaty. It is currently British.

We went through passport control, walked for a minute or so then came across a sign saying ‘Danger, Live Runway. Please Cross Quickly’. There is a set of traffic lights, and a barrier. Just after we had crossed, the barrier came down and a plane landed. Its pretty mental like. Not the best place to be an amber gambler. We found a petrol station and it sold Irn Bru!! Fucking awesome because we had been craving it. (oh I forgot to mention, we had been trying to describe Irn Bru to the Australians a couple days before…It’s impossible.. Anyone have a good word? Phenomenal) Got into the town, and it is essentially like Disneyland, if Disneyland had a Britain themed area. It feels like were in Spain..but theres english pubs, Marks and Spencers, The money is Pounds. Its so weird. There is also no tax, so you can get like a litre bottle of vodka for like £5. Pretty cool. It’s a twisted place tho. It has a very strange feel to it. The main reason we were going was for the rock. You get a cable car up. There was a few people offering us Bus tours for like 20 euros. They would drive us up and show us all the sights. They told us the cable car was 20 euros in itself. Fuck it, we wanna get a cable car. Turns out they had been trying to scam us, the cable car was only about 6 euros. Or sorry. £6. I forgot they use pounds. It wasn’t that high up, no higher than the pentland hills(which I cant actually see as I look out the window right now..its so misty! Why am I not in spain), but it was a lot steeper. Like very steep. And it just sits on its own. Aidan and Craig shat themselves in the cable car. It was awesome. As soon as the car reached the top there was a monkey hanging off the edge. Absolutely mental, I have never seen a monkey before. They are awesome.
A primatologist gave us some information about the monkeys - They are not tame, they tolerate humans. Do not touch. They were so cool! We set off for a walk. We walked past the bus tour -the guide of which was asking everyone if they wanted a photo with the monkey sitting on them(obviously not a primatologist). We just about got killed by the monkeys when we walked past. A couple of them had baby monkeys hanging round their necks(they were about the size of a wii remote). Brilliant.
We climbed up some steps to what we thought was the highest point(not quite, but it was still pretty high), from there we could see Africa. There were lions and elephants and stuff roaming about the shores. We found a wall, directly over the wall was a sheer drop down to the beach. Apparently a Spanish shepherd led 500 Soldiers up it to attack the Arabs. Mental. It's hard to describe, but it was pretty close to being a vertical wall. There was this huge black guy walking about with a baby house on his back. In that heat it was ridiculous. We asked them where the caves were or something. The daughter was not in a good mood.

We found the Caves, but to get to them we had to run past a wasps nest. Not easy.
The caves were breathtaking. 7ooft deep apparently. Absolutely brilliant. They have a stage for gigs and stuff. We are gonna do a gig there one day. It will be billed as 'The Hardest Gig to get to ever!'. People having to get a cable car up haha. It would be epic though. We got some lunch in the cave cafe. I think I had like pasta salad or something. We headed back along and I cant remember what else we did. Time wasnt on our side, so we got the cable car down. Aidans ticket blew away in the wind. Fuck. I convinced the guy to let us on. Just as the cable car pulled up, a monkey pushed his friend in front of the cable car. Slightly risky. Its only a joke if both people are laughing. Cheeky monkeys! Trying to kill their friends. Monkeys are fucking awesome!

We headed back across the runway. Back to La Linea de la Conception. We did look into getting a ferry to Africa, but it was just going to complicate things so we decided against it.
Craig and Aidan got it stuck in their head that they had to do some Laundry. So we spent ages walking about looking for a Laundrette. Got some bread, Ham and Cheese for our tea. Like fucking hundreds of it. Made them, and ate them in the Hotel. We attempted to play cards, but realised we didn't know how to play any card games. We played a very strange version of shithead. We had half of the rules, but we just didn't play it right. Went to bed pretty shortly after that. I switched the fan off, i think at some stage Craig switched it on again(to be fair it was fucking hot). I couldn't sleep cos of the noise of the fan, so after a while I was like fuck it and switched it off. So fucking hot though. at some stage throughout the night some guy was in the street screaming 'YO! YO MAN!' for fucking ages. It was funny though. My one regret of the day...We didn't swim with any dolphins.

Tomorrow - Up early doors for a bus to Sevilla. Day in Sevilla - We have no idea what there is to do in Sevilla! Game on.