Wow – Actually quite a busy week. A good week too. I was working a lot, and I’m bloody knackered cos of it – I also seem to have gotten in the habit of spending loadsof money on crap(amazing) food which isn’t so cool.
Monday – This is the first day I’ve been able to wake up whenever I want, and do nothing for the whole day. Absolute bliss. I was off the phone job because it was Easter Monday. That’s the good thing about working an ‘office’ job. Got up at like 1. Churned out a couple hours of my blog. Takes fucking ages to write. I then went down to the meadows to chill for a bit. Sent a couple texts on my way.. see if anyone else was about. Roisin promptly replied, so I met her and her friend Rachael, and her boyfriend who I think was called Steven. We went and sat in the meadows, it was really nice. Roisin had her alternative easter egg(a bag of dried fruit). It got cold pretty quick.. Well cold considering I was wearing shorts. Camp came down with a bottle of Captain Morgan’s, which tempted me slightly considering I had agreed to not drink for two weeks. I didn’t drink any of it though. Poor Rachael, she couldn’t handle Campbell’s intense measures. We went to find a toilet, forgetting it was a bank holiday. Public toilets were shut so we went to Doctors. It was so warm in there! Took a nice toilet break... Got back to the group and Jason, Liam and some of Twam’s friends had joined us. They had been drinking all day and as such were fairly smashed. We quickly decided to go back to Jasons flat. Sat there and watched father ted. Speaking to some Irish guy, he seemed pretty sound and he offered me a beer.. I said no thanks. He was like ‘you can’t refuse an Irishman when he offers you a beer.. that’s the worst thing you can do’...aaah I don’t wanna drink. I had that can in the end. The guy(Mike) told me a very funny(and very harsh story) about why he had a shit phone. He had smashed his old phone off the bouncer at opium’s head... He did this because he had been absolutely cunted, off the rails sort of mood(as happens) going up and shouting abuse at girls, and throwing drinks over them. He seen this really fat girl and was like ‘1 drink isn’t gonna do’ so he bought 3 pints, went up to the girl and threw them over her. As I said.. harsh, but funny. Jason and Liam were playing some game that was a cartoon and I dunno how it was a game.. Basically a cartoon. A gay Japanese cartoon.. looked cool though. Rachael had a surprisingly big measure of the captain, and it was quite funny to watch.. within two minutes she was pished, rolling about and shouting for someone to put on I Don’t wanna miss a thing. 10 minutes later she was sober again haha. Roisin’s friends left cos one of their party was too drunk, and I think he was wanting to fight me cos i was being a bit smart with him. We decided to depart for the Royal Oak. I was still absolutely freezing in my shorts. Got to the Oak, it’s a really cool place – basically a small room with lots of ugly people and some guy playing guitar. A very cool intimate atmosphere. I had 1 pint. The worst bit was when some boy cracked out a set of bagpipes. The room was so small.. I was like na.. see you later. Went and stood outside. Tried to have some chat with the guy who was running the night.. but he was a twat. Went out later with Rachael and he was sound. Seems all you need is a pretty face. Roisins friends came back, minus the drunk guy who they had apparently just met.. I told the Irish guy I was gonna go home soon because I needed some food.. He went to the shop and bought me a Samosa. Legend.. but I’m still going home! We said our long goodbyes then I went home and slept.
Tuesday – Thank god for the bliss of Monday. I actually got up this morning at 9 and went for a run(a fairly short run as I was totally fucked considering I’ve not ran in weeks), and then went for an essential shop(i just bought crap). Also in this time me and nick got craig some Ipod speakers for his birthday. Back at my phone job 12-6, my email was packed out since I hadn’t checked it since the Wednesday before. I don’t think I could do this full time. But 3 days a week is cool. Hopefully I’l make a half decent wage out of it! I spent a lot of time phoning the same database from the week before.. NO,no,no,no,maybe,no,yes,no,no,no. Great fun. Finished that at 6, had a shave and ran to Biddy’s. The Liverpool game was absolutely crazy. Madness. The guy who plays on Tuesday is seriously average at best.. He plays the tunes..But he doesn’t play them very well. I can’t remember what i did after the shift, I don’t think I went straight home.. But that makes the most sense. Maybe I got a Kebab. Yes.. I think I did. Working so close to Cappadoccia is gonna be the death of me. If I make decent tips, get a kebab. If i don’t make decent tips.. Get a kebab. Aaaah.
Wednesday – I struggled to get up this morning.. No run today. 12-3 phone job.. Not bad. Quick kip, then into Biddys for 5. Not a bad shift.. too many staff on probably. Craig, Nick and Kev came in about 1045. They were all(especially Nick and Kev) smashed. Covered in cider and stuff. It was craigs birthday too. I finished just before 11. Got myself a nice wee snakebite. I’ve not drunk one of them since the days of the holyrood tavern. One sip and my head immediately feels a bit strange. Annie, Roisin, Katy, Marc, Kim, Lois and Mhairi came too – I didn’t realise they were coming! Kim bought us all a Jagerbomb.. Which btw..how much money has she got? That must have been close to £30.. For some reason Marc screamed in my ear, I came pretty close to smacking him, I was raging. Kev was standing there, and he dropped his pint which smashed everywhere. He went up to the bar(presumably to ask for a brush) and came back with another pint. I cleaned it up.. Kim helped. Kev went to the toilet, he came out and Ralph was like ‘is this your mate? He was pissing everywhere’ I was like kev mate.. come on. Kev told me that Ralph was lying, and that he was a wanker. We were just leaving, So i told Ralph sorry, and that we were just going. Kev tried to tell me he was a wanker.. I was like whatever man, let’s go. We left and headed to opium. Me and Nick did our Fifa celebrations to each other.(mine being running around him swinging my arm..I punched him like 3 times). Matt joined the group. He was telling me He’d never seen Nick this pished before.. I was lke bloody hell.. are you nicks mate?? To be fair, he was pretty pished. Kev sang some Man City songs, and we went to opium. Suprised we all got in..to be fair, it is opium. Got a booth(and some vodka).Oh btw, I think i forgot to mention(or maybe I didn’t need to).. but my no drinking thing fell down the toilet. It’s Craig’s birthday!! I think Marc thought I was absolutely raging with him, So he was trying to buy me drinks and be really nice etc.. I wasn’t absolutely raging.. just momentarily angry with him for shouting in my ear.. We got the whole of opium to sing happy birthday to craig.. but it didn’t really work.. some guys came over and tried to shag Roisin.. they were pretty cool but Kev gave them some abuse. He realised Kev was pished and so didn’t fight him. I think he was in the army or something. We called time and went to Liquid faith. Queing for Liquid faith and some girl comes bounding up to me with a smile on her face and shout’s ‘Phil!’ ‘oh sorry i thought you were my manager’.. I can be your manager.. let’s go! So we went in. Managed to blag myself in for £1. This girl had loads of balloons. I went in with her and was like ‘3 questions’ 1. Where’s the toilet? 2. Where’s the bar? 3. Why have you got so many balloons? Met the twins in the toilet. I couldn’t find that girl(who worked at the standing order btw). Bumped into Mick, said hello, then danced with some girl he was with. I was in a generous mood(i dunno why, I’m fucking skint!) so I bought her a drink. It was going on my card, and minimum was £5.. So I got 3.. 1 for me.. 1 for her.. and a communal drink(which she knocked onto the ground) Craig pulled me away to tell me that he’d decked Nicks wee brother.. I was like ‘good one.. now i’m a bit busy’ He kept telling me and I was just like, It’s a funny joke.. but not while I’m trying to get with this girl... I went back to dancing with the girl, some ginger cunt came along and after that she ignored me.. Strange.. Last time I buy anyone a drink ever. Some girl who I think I went to college with(she was fucking fit, spoke to her maybe twice the whole two years I was at college!!!) came over and was like ‘what’s happenin?’ I was still trying to pull that ginger lover and so ignored the ridiculously hot girl. Poor show. Danced with Mick, Kim, Annie, Roisin etc for a bit – Some other ridiculously hot girl came up and was like ‘can I dance with you so it looks like I have friends?’...Yup! Did the nice thing and bought her a drink(going for the 1 for me, 1 for you, 1 to sure approach -) But my card got declined.. Ginger Lover!! She bought me a drink instead which was nice. We were standing outside after the club had closed and I am sure I saw a certain crazy engaged woman who has sent me multiple death threats in the past. I put my hood up and faced the other way. This next bit seriously felt like something out of one of these Jail movies.(or more specifically that episode of Smallville where there’s a jailbreak) You know the scene where there’s a riot going on in the middle of the canteen, and the two rivals are standing at opposite ends, with the big ‘evil’ rival advancing through the crowds towards the good guy, who is probably handcuffed. (I think in Smallville(which is amazing, yet amazingly bad)The evil guy was a red kryptonite infused Clark, and the good guy was Lionel Luthor(who btw, i think is similar to morrisey – in that their both old men, but could kick your cunt in). Anyway, Me and this girl were standing talking, the street was full of revellers who had just left the club The 2 guys to the left of me started fighting, rolling about the floor etc. It started with them, and spread right the way across the street. At this point I was like ‘bird, let’s go’ and we just walked through it all, stepping over bodies on the ground, people getting thrown past us etc. In hindsight, we were probably very lucky to not get hurt. Apparently Mecaniuk got Hospitalised for nothing.. Bastards.
Walked that girl home, bumped into Ian from Biddy’s who was fucked.. Didn’t stay to chat, just kept on walking. On the walk home I noticed that while she had a relatively pretty face, and a smoking hot body, she had a well big nose. Oh well.. Dropped her off, then went up to the ’24 hour’ costcutter. It was fucking shut. I only had like £1 anyway. Met some guy and he was like(in an English accent) ‘Mate, where can I get some food?’ I was like well the all night bakery’s just down there, it might be shut though. I took him down, it was open. To show his gratitude for me showing it to him, He bought me a Sausage roll, Scotch Pie, Doughnut and a Pastry. Absolute legend. I fucking love him. Some guy came in while we were there and asked if he could use his card. The boy was like no. He kept asking every couple of seconds, and the guy who bought me the pie’s and various other stuff was like shut the fuck up mate or I’ll kick your cunt in you jambo fuck(he was wearing a maroon top). I gave Craig a phone to see if they were still up. He was, and was continuing with this ‘Joke’ about him hitting nick’s bro. Turns out it wasn’t a joke. Sounds like he deserved it though.. but that basically put’s a rift between my flatmates.. I’m staying out of it..
Thursday – I did something.. I’m sure of it. I’m just not sure what. Maybe I spent most of the day watching Southpark and Smallville(It’s fucking amazing..both of them! Do you like fishsticks?) The worst thing is that E4 is now showing the advert for the new smallville, which basically shows what I’m just about to watch. Ended up going to my folks for some tea and a bath, I think I stayed up there. Ah yeah.. I was considering going out to see DMH but I was so tired, and after much debate, I fell asleep. Good
Friday – Got up bright and early, The Marvels were meeting with ‘Unscein Records’. The other lads were fucked because they had both gone to see DMH, and had lost many drinking games to Mike and John. Apparently now whenever we play, we have to introduce ourselves as ‘Hi, we’re the Marvels. Dirty Modern Hero are better than us.’ That was for starters, Mick had gotten us the wrong address for the meeting. We got the right address and jumped on a bus down there. Only 20 minutes or so late. The girl on reception... My god.. Her breasts... Basically, they were cool. Very cool. But in general, she was fucking stunning. Went through and met the guy. He seemed to talk a slight amount of nonsense.. His idea was that basically, We give him exclusivity for all Edinburgh gigs in the next 12 months, and he’l put us on at the ark once a month with 5 other bands who agree to it(not quality controlled). We bring 35 people to each gig at £5 a ticket and give all the money to him. In return, He gives us either time in a recording studio, time in a rehearsal studio, or money – all of which will add up to the amount of money we give him first.. ok... Maybe not. I must say I was tempted just for the chance of more opportunities to see that girl on reception. She could probably do a better job of persuading bands to join. I phoned Mike and Steel for our weekly Pizza Hut expedition. Steel never answered, Mike was like ‘Oh i’m at Chloes, I don’t want to move’. So me and Andy went and got the buffet ourselves. Sat down, and some guy who was next to us was like ‘is my crutch in the way where it is’ we were like no, it’s cool. He then bursts into a spiel about how ‘i’m a chef, so i know that when people eat in a restaurant It’s not just about the food, It’s about the space they have to eat’. He then spoke to us for the next hour. Not quite giving us our all important space... He was sitting directly behind Andy, and I was a bit further away – so he was mainly talking to andy.. especially since they were both cockney’s etc. Because of this, Andy then told me he was going to start dropping me into the conversation. “Chris thinks this about that, Don’t you Chris.” And I’m like uh... The best one, which I couldn’t help laughing out loud at, was “What’s that saying you have about spoon’s Chris?” and the guy looks at me, waiting for me to tell him my expression about spoons. Eventually we asked for the bill, and the guy rolls into this ‘joke’ about why haven’t they invented robots for kitchens yet, but he stands up and starts waving his arms at the waitress. Eventually He leaves, and the waitress is like ‘Was he with you?’ We’re like nope.. and then we told her all that he’d been saying to his. She was pretty sound, so we tipped her. Pizza hut.. always an Experience.
I got back to the flat, had a shower, had a shave, went to work! Now that we actually have enough glass collectors working with us – It makes the weekend shift a fair amount easier than during the week.. It’s still tough, and absolutely rammed all the time – But now we can focus on purely serving drinks. On the front bar, If you need a keg changed it’s just a radio call away. You don’t have to leave the bar! Also, having loads of staff on, means that clean up at the end takes no time at all. Which is great. We stayed behind for a pint or 2 after.. A slow pint.. Got home at like 430 or something. I was gonna go up to Maisies, but I assumed they had fallen asleep!(apparently they hadn’t.. gutted). Got home, watched some Smallville.(They start each episode with ‘previously on smallville’ and then show a bunch of clips that have no bearing on what happened in the episode before, it’s just a bunch of stuff that happened before, and it’s not in any context whatsoever.. so you have no idea what’s going on if you miss an episode. Went to bed.
Saturday – Got up pretty late, watched some Smallville and some Southpark or that. Headed to work, It was all good – I was on the back bar meaning I was on keg duties – running up and down the stairs every 20 minutes. I missed pokerface. But luckily the girl played it 3 times.. including 1 minute of it at the end..It’s a good song, but whatever. Hopefully these DJ’s will realise the brilliance of Calvin Harris’ new tune soon enough. Was an alright night.. fairly uneventful(as i remember it.. loadsa shit could’ve gone down). Just got a taxi home after. Got home.. take a guess..watched Smallville!
Sunday – Woke up, stupidly watched an episode of Smallville which I definitely did not have time for! Checked the bus timetables to wherever the fuck I was going(Paintballing in the country!) and realised the only one that wouldn’t make me late was coming to Haymarket in 13 minutes. I got dressed and ran down. Just caught the bus. The bus driver was a dick, made me get off at the wrong stop(it cost £2.40!!) and told me to walk a mile back the way. I realised at about 12.45(we were meeting at 1!) that I had walked a mile in the wrong direction, so I now had 2 miles to walk in 15 minutes. Fuck it, I’m a fast runner, started running. Chow phoned me and said they’d come and pick me up. Thankyou! Paintballing’s pretty good fun. As in.. It’s fairly awesome. I was fairly shite.. To quote Danny, “There’s no rhyme or reason as to where it shoot’s”. It was a very still day, but still the pellets fly all over the place. I’m not actually sure if I hit anyone, but I did provide a lot of covering fire(i.e. not shooting at anything in particular, just keeping the opposition in hiding). My one crowning moment was in a game where we had to touch the opponents barrel, which they were defending from they’re base. From the word go, I sprinted and made it to some cover 3 quarters of the way up the field. Just on the other side of that cover was the barrel. I lay there for a minute or so, waiting for my team to push up. They didn’t. Eventually I was like fuck it, sprinted out(being shot at by about 10 folk) firing my gun and dived ontop of the barrel. The barrel went flying, and I got pummelled. We won! The marshall was like “That was a very good run at the start, have you done paintballing before?” I’m like no. He’s then mutters “that was a very good run at the start”. As I said, I was fairly shit for the rest of the day. At the end the guy said that anyone with any ammo left could have a free for all. Turned out it was just me and this 10 year old boy. We both went behind opposite trees and started trying to get each other. He was being boring and hiding behind a tree, I was like fuck it – Started running in a circle around him – You know, the old circle strafing from Goldeneye(It makes you invincible like the matrix..at least it did on the N64) – I got shot to fuck. He just about hit me in the dick. I’ve got a massive bruise just south. I think I got hit more then than I did throughout the whole day. Got a lift to the bus stop, banged my head on the way out. Maria and stuff picked me up again, and drove me to asda. Again, I hit my head on the way out.. I’m not sure how haha. I went into ASDA and got them to make me a pizza(which I assumed they would cook) Chicken, mushroom, sweetcorn and onion..£2.50. They didn’t cook it so I went to McDonalds. Walked home, cooked my pizza. Quick shower then off to Biddy’s. Again.. This place is always fucking busy. The band were so loud. I really need to start bringing my earplugs with me. Although I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to hear people ordering.. but I don’t care, It’s destroying my ears. Not a bad shift. Up to cappadoccia after, a nice Doner. Although.. This was my first Cappadoccia I have ever had which did not include chips. Still pretty good.. but the chips are a big part you know. Got to Polwarth Roundabout and nicks wee brother was standing in the middle of the roundabout pretending to be abducted by aliens. Up to the flat and finished off my pizza from before. Bed.
Next week – Biddy’s staff night out, Sam’s birthday, work, planning, teaching, learning, decisions, remorse, guilt, snake. I love my snake.
Saturday, 25 April 2009
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
It's Been Seven Hours and Fifteen Days
Sleep is for the weak. It’s true. At first I was moaning about the fact I didn’t have any time to sleep, but now I realise that’s a good thing. The past week has been the busiest I’ve been in a long while, literally did next to no relaxing. Fucking love it! Absolute madness. Bear in mind when reading this, if you read the previous weeks blog.. I haven’t actually had a day of nothing since the Thursday before!
Monday – Woke up feeling alot more hungover than I had been planning(seeing as i hadn’t planned on drinking the night before! Doing the phone job 12-6, it was pretty quiet.. but tbh probably a good thing considering I was fucked. Finished that and was ready to go to bed about 7. Steel was like ‘can i have my leads back please’ I couldn’t get in touch with Andy(his leads were there) so i played some fifa. Finally got in touch with Andy and went to get the leads. It was a very tough walk. Took me fucking ages. Got the leads to Steel then hit the hay! Thus passes the only day of the week where I didn’t drink......
Tuesday – Phone job 12-6. I had to phone through a database asking people if they wanted to attend a finance seminar. A lot of the numbers were churches and stuff. I felt kindof bad cos a priest was like ‘we are a monastery.. this is Holy Week.. A very quiet time for us.. We don’t want to attend a finance seminar.’ I apologized and he said ‘God Bless’ Does that count as confession? Finished at 6. Started at Biddy’s at 7. Pretty good night. This American couple of couples gave me loads of tips. There was an acoustic guy doing a covers set.. Good tunes, but very average. The worst was when he tried to do long notes or falsetto.. cringeworthy. I was planning on going straight home after. Maybe getting a kebab. The 2 Seans convinced me to go to dropkicks... i need some sleep haha. But I went, and it was cool. Just had a couple pints.. and a jager. And a vodka. Hayden was absolutely fucked by the time we got there. Good lad, doing some pretty funny dancing. We spent ages talking about tattoos. As I went up candlemaker row, the others went down. I shook Haydens hand, and as he turned he fell and rolled down the hill. Such a funny sight. Looked funny as fuck though!
Wednesday – Phone job 12-3. Felt a little tender, but not too bad. Craig sat in with me for a bit.. and thought it was funny that I essentially just lie to people on the phone. Can’t remember what I did that afternoon. Met Lima to watch the football. We were gonna go to the Cuckoos nest. I swear to god last time I was there, there was football on. Apparently not. Fuck what do we do. Spent the next 40 minutes trying to find a pub to watch the football. Ended up in Bierex where Jonesy was there. Liverpool played pretty rubbish in the second half. Our plan to not drink fell down the pan. Didn’t have that much.. but still. Went to Drouthy Neebors for a bit too, I seen Ritchie and Rod in there. Lima was convinced I had arranged to have my friends bump into me to try and impress her. Yeah and I deliberately had us meet at a pub which doesn’t show football. Her flatmate came in too. Went back to her flat to play some Ludo and listen to some Swedish music. Stayed there because it was raining.. bad move.. I had to get up at 6am cos she had work..
Thursday – Got back to the flat about 7. Nowhere was open to give me breakfast. I bought some orange juice in a newsagent. I thought I was gonna have to teach, but turns out that cos it’s easter holidays I’m off teaching for a couple weeks! Pretty good cos it gave me a chance to rest! Even for a little bit. Started at biddy’s 7. John had organised a big night out, and I actually quite fancied going to meet them for a power hour. (the hour of power). Pretty average night at Biddys. It was fairly busy. I was on the back bar myself for most of the night. There was a band in who were cool. Got away about 145, made it to the hive for 2. Everyone was smashed. Started on the double Soco and coke. The barman was a legend, after buying the first drink he was just like ‘the usual?’. John came up to him and was like ‘i’m getting served next’ the boy told him to fuck off. Good lad. John.. don’t be a dick. I hammered through the drinks. Went for a dance. Checkout number 7 and 3 were there. I had put my hood on my head and danced like a beast. Mikes mate mani was there. I said something to him and he was like ‘mate your a fucking genius’(or something.. it was a good moment). For some reason(bearing in mind, i’m not as drunk as everyone else at this point) we all took our tops off and danced on the stage. We even had like 5 randoms join us. Pretty funny. Bumped into Jamesy, he was with some bird.. so I danced with her mate. Some good dancing I must admit. It was ideal, because she had a bag i could put my jumper in. There was an afterparty at johns, but me and Jamesy got these girls on a bus. I then pissed in a letterbox and we got a taxi. We beat Aidan and Mike to johns. John was playing Piano(drunkenly). There was a puppy there called Eddy(effie) and some pretty nice pizza. For what ever reason, John threw Me, Mike and Aidan down the stairs. And then threw an armchair, and a pine chair(i’m not sure why i keep calling it a pine chair.. i have no idea what kind of wood it was) down the stairs at us. That was so dangerous haha! Could have ended up in disaster. John somehow cut his gun, it deflated. Oh i almost forgot about the milkshake.. Mike was drinking a milkshake out of the cup of destiny(a tin cup which hasn’t been washed for over 80 years). I seen the funniest tea pot.. and next to it was an even funnier tea pot. Mike spilled the milkshake over the floor, and used johns clean trousers to mop it up. John chased us with Numchuks. John seriously, that’s not a joke.. you will kill someone with them(he just missed mikes head, and made a massive dent in the door). Eventually went to bed, James had stolen Finlays bed, and i had to sleep underneath that.. With no real covers. Gutted.
Friday – Felt pretty rough when I got up around 9. Considering I went to bed at like 6 – no suprise. Chilled about in the morning, John did a lot of tidying.. I did a bit(well i made my bed). We took Eddy for a walk. I got him to chase me. Went up to mikes eventually and had a bacon sandwich. Made plans to go for the pizza hut buffet. Got the bus up to Polwarth and tried to get in touch with steel. He wasn’t having it so we rang his bell.. his flatmate Ben answered, steel was in the shower. He was listening to quite a cool band, can’t remember who. I could have used this time to shower.. but noooo. So we went down to pizza hut. Walking past santans, this old homeless guy goes to us(in an American accent) ‘You gotta get your shit together’ I looked at him.. unsure what to say.. Steel just goes ‘for sure brother’ and the guys like ‘right on’. Steel speaks the language. Brilliant. We got to Pizza hut and the girls like ‘the buffets not on because it’s a bank holiday, but there is this happy hour menu’ we were just like ‘Lets do it!’ and she was like ‘yeah let’s do it!’ Let’s do it! It was £14 for 4 people(you get a pizza, garlic bread and a drink each) but there was only 3 of us. We asked if we could still order for 4. She was like yeah. We didn’t know what to order for the invisible man though. It was pretty good though, we got a big jug of coke, more garlic bread and an extra pizza. Pretty good. I wasn’t even that hungry though, so tired. Still eat lots of food. We had a good chat about stuff. Mainly just utter shite. There was a family next to us and we just heard the mum shouting at the kid ‘shut it you’. It reminded Steel of a time when he heard a mum telling their kid ‘shut your face or i’l kick your cunt in’.. fucking mental. I think we agreed Pizza hut should be a weekly thing. We were unsure on etiquette at the end.. do we leave the money on the table or give it to someone. We left it on the table, and hoped the family of delinquents didn’t pick it up! Went up to mine and played Fifa. I beat steel 5-0. He was rubbish.. but it was an amazing game. Every goal i scored was fucking amazing. The first one I took it round the keeper and walked it into the net. The next one was an overhead kick. The 3rd one I passed the ball across the box and backheeled it into the net. The next I chipped the keeper. I think the 5th may have been a belter from 30 yards. This was all in the first half.. I never got a goal into him in the 2nd half! Jumped in the shower, listened to some Gaga. Played some more fifa. Andy called me at 630.. apparently i was meant to start at 6.. I had been convinced 100% it was a 7 start. Ran in. Decent shift.. it wasn’t actually that busy for a Friday night. It looked busy mobbed from where i was at the back bar, but as soon as you went past the toilets it was dead. Because of this we were able to have everything that we could possibly have done by 1 oclock done. Got away pretty much on 130. I had been planning on going to the hive myself to meet up with Aij, Mike, and all the girls. Everyone from Biddys was up for coming, so we had a proper crew with us. I went in to faith to say hi to john.. he was wrestling some guy on the ground who was shouting ‘why are you hurting me’. Apparently he was a racist or something. Headed on up to the hive. I was completely ready for catch up time. Or so I thought.
Got into the hive, immediately met Becca and Lois. Went to the bar, got ahold of our regular Jager-pourer – who is pretty sound actually, I like her – I ordered.. 2 jager bombs, and 4 double whisky and cokes. I asked her for a pint glass, and she was like ‘whats it for..? because i only have 4 and i need them for beer’. I said i was planning on pouring all my drinks into it, just so it’s easier to carry, but if she couldn’t spare it then it didn’t matter. She was like ‘na i’l give you it’. I also asked for a straw. I then took a sip of the drink, and my god.. I think all the whisky had gone to the top.. it was absolutely horrid. Ugh. But nonetheless, i had just spent £17 on drinks..and i was gonna drink it. Went to find people.. found all the folk from biddys, who it looked like they weren’t up for the crazy binge i was doing. No wonder.. why was i doing it! Btw.. there was a funny situation happening at this point.. but i shan’t utter it hear, if anyone wants to know then ask. I found it hilarious tho. Found Annie and Roisin and Lois and Shona and danced with them, Annie announced her undying love for me and said she would kill me if i didn’t go to her party. I told her i was going over and over again.. i actually need to find a way to make it to this party. I still hadn’t found mike or aij. I was quite intent on finding them. I Dispatched a search party. A crap search party, but a search party nonetheless. Laura said she had found them, i told her to bring them to me. She didn’t. Fair enough i guess. I got another drink in.. only 2 double whiskys this time.. bad chat haha. Laura asked if i was just drinking a pint of coke, i said yes. Gave her a taste and her reaction was so funny. I think i spoke to Katy for a while aswell.. or maybe i spoke to laura about katy. Unsure. Found them. Well i found Aidan who was with Paramore(I can now see why this is insulting to her.. Paramore isn’t actually that hot, i now realise she’s ganting. Lucy, you are much better looking than Hayley Williams, just learn how to sing like her and you are absolutely minted for life). They directed me to mike, in the cocktail bar. I convinced some guy to walk up to mike with me hiding behind him(kindof like a Trojan horse) and i jumped out on him and Ahmed. Went for a dance with Lucy, and i bust her nose open. I felt so bad, but it was so funny cos she didn’t really notice it was bleeding. Oops... That’l teach her to dance with me. Met the Biddy’s crew, Mike was like ‘man..why are all these people wearing the same T shirt as you. And why are they so hot?’ haha. We went for a dance, and by now it must’ve been like 2.55. Things get a bit hazy here.. I was trying to get people back to the flat, to drink my 3 cans of tenants and craigs bottle of vodka.. probably a good idea that no one came ha. Me, Laura and Lois went back to Ahmeds. I was really drunk by this point, Ahmed wouldn’t let anyone pay for the taxi.. good lad. I apparently spent some time outside throwing up, before going up and throwing up some more.. Ahmed called a taxi and gave me money for it. What a legend haha. I owe him a drink or 8 haha. Got home, got a bowl for my bed and went to sleep.
Saturday – Woke up feeling pretty goosed. The good thing being i hadn’t thrown up in my bowl, i only spat in it once. I went on spotify and listened to all the different versions of Nothing Compares To You. And i have no idea why. Our shower had been blocked by hair(apparently mine, but I don’t accept that) and was turning into a bath the more showers we had. So me and Craig did an extensive clean of the bathroom, it was epic. And quite effective. We made gloves out of plastic bags. I attempted to throw our bag of rubbish onto the street, but i didn’t. Craig went in the shower, i started watching the football. 25 seconds and JVoH had scored.. it was a shit goal, but fucking great! The rest of the game was pretty crap, ended 1-1. Went down to daves for a practise. He was late again. That is game over. I went mental at him again. I was like ‘ I could’ve had an extra 10 minutes in bed!’ haha. Practised, Drove up to Studios, Soundchecked, Me and Dave went looking for some food. Dave made me drink beer. It wasn’t fair(but thanks for buying them) I could not handle it though. The deal had been for him to buy me a McDonalds.. instead, he bought me Smoked Salmon and Fajitas. Not your typical hangover food, but pretty fucking good nonetheless! Spent a good while talking about his house, and living conditions etcetc. He needs to be a hard assed landlord otherwise it will fall to pieces! We lost track of time and got back to studios for about 7.20. We were meant to be on at 8. Got some drinks in. Craig on bar duties. Beer was not going down well. Not well atall. We made full use of the dressing room, hanging up coats etc. These crazy young cats(your typical neddy young kid band who think they’re the bees knees) were sitting with us. Pretty funny, I was so fucked from the night before so i was just talking pish to them. Cormac was talking to them too, but he didn’t really know what was going on. Went and played our set. It was pretty cool.. although i wish the guy from emergenza would stop trying to set my bass up for me.. Just leave it alone. Pretty good set..considering it was the first time the 5 of us had played together in over a month. Andy taylor was there after, had a good chat with him. Promised I’d take him out to get pished with us. That neddy band did a cover of supersonic which i thought was pretty ace(also totally lame.. i mean come on). I moved onto the double vodka and red bull because I just couldn’t handle the beer. After the bands had finished we went up for a chat with our legend of a promoter(i actually love him), all the bands were getting told about the next gig and asking questions and stuff. It was so funny, everyone was so serious. I was just asking stupid questions that didn’t even make sense. Basically to stall so that I didn’t have to leave. I chummed Craig up to get change for the bar, and we went everywhere but could not get any change! Eventually got some at the Slug and Lettuce. The manager was pretty sound, and me and craig made gestures behind her back which were funny. We went back to tell the bouncers from walkabout that we had got some change.. why.. I’m not sure, but craig said it was nice to be nice. Some girl had been chatting craig up during the gig apparently, We went out and craig was like ‘what’s happenin’ and her boyfriend glared angrily.. so funny. Or sorry, it was fuckin brilliant. Got back to studios and I remembered that people always say to me ‘when your ready’ when they try and get served, but be polite. So i was like to craig ‘when your ready...’ i don’t know if he got it tho haha! I then went on a search to find my bandmates.. i couldn’t find anyone. I was like fuck. Tried phoning them, nothing. Eventually got in touch with Dave who said they were in the Black bull because they were having to pay to get into studios. So basically.. I was on my norman. I spoke to mate in the cloakroom for a while, but A bit too much cos my drunken chat was annoying him ha. Cameron came down, and I spoke with him for a while. He said he didn’t like just standing talking, so I danced with him too, and he twirled me a round which was a bit strange. Drunk some more.. sent drunken texts.. Changed contacts in my phone to reflect peoples ages.. just wanted to pretend like i had friends haha. After what seemed like an eternity.. Kara, Gillian, Harry and Rory came! Managed to add them all to Craig’s guest list which was really cool. Went in, introduced them to craig and we started drinking. I was pretty drunk by this stage.. We danced and sang ‘Take Me Down To the Paradise City’ aswell as various other songs. It was brilliant. We decided Studios is the new hive. If only other people we knew went there.. Kieron and Dunc and stuff were there too. Kara, Gee, Haz and Roz left at some stage. I remember Craig saying to me ‘good effort man, you’ve had loads of vodka’, then apparently he found me wandering about on my own.. i went upstairs to ‘help’ him clear the bands room, although I just watched. Then went down, he gave me a shot of Sambuca and I left. Now this is where I don’t know what happened. I remember walking through the meadows with Jo.. and we walked to Liam’s party. However, I don’t know where I met her.. because I’m pretty sure she wasn’t at Studios.. which would lead me to believe I maybe went to the hive. Hmmmmm.
(update!) having spoken with Jo, apparently i did meet her in the hive.. although i have no idea why i was in the hive!
Got to the party, Don’t know what happened, or who was there, but loads of people were there, and they all left! I was gonna go sleep in the box room, but for some reason I played basketball in hashy’s room for ages... good lad. Thus began a night of the utmost shite being talked. It was fucking ridiculous the amount of nonsense that was being talked and covered. It was me, Harry Potter, that guy from JLS and one of the twins from big brother – there may have been more people there at some stage, but i’m not really sure. There was so much stuff we were talking about and doing, I cannot for the life of me remember half of it – but it was one of these situations(as the twin pointed out in the morning) that anything we said, we laughed at.. even if it wasn’t funny atall. It was funny though. I went through all the versions of Nothing Compares to you again, amazing. We watched this guy called Chi City..basically a black gangster style guy who has been given a parking ticket and sets out to kill the ticket.. ‘hit it with a freezepop’ ‘hit it with a whole gang of freeze pops’ ‘soap to ya dome bitch’. Its fucking funny, check it out on youtube. We then started trying to see who everyone’s lookalike was. Harry potter kept singing snow patrol at me, so I re-enacted the video from chasing cars. The twin was trying to show us how Sam looks like the kid with the drum in Glosiola by Sigur Ros.. but she paused it at this bit, and there was just like rocks and stuff. The sound was muted too. When she unpaused it, a fox appeared. I swear to god i have never laughed so much in the past 5 minutes. I promised them that I would make Nick dress up in a Thunderbirds costume. Also, how gutted would you be if you were Thunderbird 5? The other guys get to fly all over the place and attack people and save the world.. Thunderbird 5 just sits in his space station not eating any solids. Fuck all happens up there. We spent ages trying to find stuff on spotify.. stuff like Mass Dynamo Syncopation etc. It eventually became morning, and JLS man turned into a sheep, and the twin fell asleep. Me and Harry Potter were the hardcore ones who just didn’t go to bed. I managed to convert Harry to the Christian faith.. even though we couldn’t figure out what exactly happened at easter.. Jesus got pashed and fell into a cave.. woke up two days later. Some slightly Blasphemus stuff. He quite liked the idea that no matter what you did, how bad it was, you can just go to a priest and he’l be like ‘bless you my child’ and your back into heaven! It’s barry.
It’s kindof hard to decide where Saturday ends and Sunday begins, but We’ll go with here!
Sunday - The sheep woke up and was like ‘shit.. Some guy was meant to phone me at 9 to sell my car.. He doesn’t have my number, but he has my postcode’. Uhh.. how do you think people phone you? Via your postcode..duuuh. At this point i was trying to leave, but I couldn’t find my shoes. Literally spent like 3 hours looking for them. I was pretty convinced I arrived with shoes. Hashy wouldn’t loan me any shoes even though he had about 300 pairs...Great lad. Stalker got up and we looked at all the photos from the night.. I wasn’t in any of them, so we took one and added that to the collection. Eventually I discovered that some girl was sleeping on top of my shoes, what a cow! I then left and walked up to my folks. Totally fucked, spoke to Kara on the phone and her voice was so distant to me. It was crazy. I was totally fucked. She googled easter and gave me the goods on what happened exactly. Got up to my folks and was fucked.. I think they must’ve been like what the hell is going on. It felt like I’d just got back from T in the Park. Got my mum to cut me out of my shoes then I went to bed. Crashed out for ages then woke up thinking I’d slept in for work. Actually I hadn’t, but it was a slight panic. Had some pasta and a bath, then I went back to the flat for like 15 minutes, then off to work. Work was an absolute struggle. I was so fucked. Also.. I thought Easter was a time for family etc, why the fuck do so many people go out drinking on Easter Sunday?? Dicks. There was a big brawl at 3 Sisters so it got closed and loads of folk from there came to Biddys. Great. Even busier. I just wasn’t functioning properly. It was so busy, and there wasn’t enough staff on, so things got pretty messy. A fair amount of broken glass about the place, no one able to clean it up.. aaah. I finally finished and went to Capadoccia for a nice juicy kebab. I met John in there who was absolutely cunted. It sounded like he’d been out on the pish, then called to go and help at the 3 sisters, then went back on the pish.. He gave me a present of a lighter, which was just the most thoughtful gift ever. I lit it on his face. Walking down the road, this girl was like ‘are you Kevin?’ I was like no, but do you want a chip? She declared me the nicest boy she’d ever met..that night. Oh thanks! I was like why did you think I was Kevin? Apparently she had been meeting this guy called Kevin.. oh fuck.. actually, yes I am Kevin!! I forgot. Got back to the flat, had a pint of milk and watched south park. It felt actually amazing to get to sleep. Actually amazing. Great sleep.
Next week – working more, drinking less trying to sleep more but it’s tough. Annie’s party on Saturday – I am seriously trying everything in my power to make it along. How far is it to cycle? If anyones up for giving me a lift, I shall pay you(not that much but some). Also trying to get insured on my dads new campervan..btw..its pretty cool. I don’t know what to do! I really need to make it to this party or Annie will kill me. Going Paintballing for the Chow’s birthday on Sunday. That’l be barry likes. I’m gonna try and not drink. But It’s Craig’s birthday tonight aswell. Hope this blog takes you as long to read as it took me to write!
Monday – Woke up feeling alot more hungover than I had been planning(seeing as i hadn’t planned on drinking the night before! Doing the phone job 12-6, it was pretty quiet.. but tbh probably a good thing considering I was fucked. Finished that and was ready to go to bed about 7. Steel was like ‘can i have my leads back please’ I couldn’t get in touch with Andy(his leads were there) so i played some fifa. Finally got in touch with Andy and went to get the leads. It was a very tough walk. Took me fucking ages. Got the leads to Steel then hit the hay! Thus passes the only day of the week where I didn’t drink......
Tuesday – Phone job 12-6. I had to phone through a database asking people if they wanted to attend a finance seminar. A lot of the numbers were churches and stuff. I felt kindof bad cos a priest was like ‘we are a monastery.. this is Holy Week.. A very quiet time for us.. We don’t want to attend a finance seminar.’ I apologized and he said ‘God Bless’ Does that count as confession? Finished at 6. Started at Biddy’s at 7. Pretty good night. This American couple of couples gave me loads of tips. There was an acoustic guy doing a covers set.. Good tunes, but very average. The worst was when he tried to do long notes or falsetto.. cringeworthy. I was planning on going straight home after. Maybe getting a kebab. The 2 Seans convinced me to go to dropkicks... i need some sleep haha. But I went, and it was cool. Just had a couple pints.. and a jager. And a vodka. Hayden was absolutely fucked by the time we got there. Good lad, doing some pretty funny dancing. We spent ages talking about tattoos. As I went up candlemaker row, the others went down. I shook Haydens hand, and as he turned he fell and rolled down the hill. Such a funny sight. Looked funny as fuck though!
Wednesday – Phone job 12-3. Felt a little tender, but not too bad. Craig sat in with me for a bit.. and thought it was funny that I essentially just lie to people on the phone. Can’t remember what I did that afternoon. Met Lima to watch the football. We were gonna go to the Cuckoos nest. I swear to god last time I was there, there was football on. Apparently not. Fuck what do we do. Spent the next 40 minutes trying to find a pub to watch the football. Ended up in Bierex where Jonesy was there. Liverpool played pretty rubbish in the second half. Our plan to not drink fell down the pan. Didn’t have that much.. but still. Went to Drouthy Neebors for a bit too, I seen Ritchie and Rod in there. Lima was convinced I had arranged to have my friends bump into me to try and impress her. Yeah and I deliberately had us meet at a pub which doesn’t show football. Her flatmate came in too. Went back to her flat to play some Ludo and listen to some Swedish music. Stayed there because it was raining.. bad move.. I had to get up at 6am cos she had work..
Thursday – Got back to the flat about 7. Nowhere was open to give me breakfast. I bought some orange juice in a newsagent. I thought I was gonna have to teach, but turns out that cos it’s easter holidays I’m off teaching for a couple weeks! Pretty good cos it gave me a chance to rest! Even for a little bit. Started at biddy’s 7. John had organised a big night out, and I actually quite fancied going to meet them for a power hour. (the hour of power). Pretty average night at Biddys. It was fairly busy. I was on the back bar myself for most of the night. There was a band in who were cool. Got away about 145, made it to the hive for 2. Everyone was smashed. Started on the double Soco and coke. The barman was a legend, after buying the first drink he was just like ‘the usual?’. John came up to him and was like ‘i’m getting served next’ the boy told him to fuck off. Good lad. John.. don’t be a dick. I hammered through the drinks. Went for a dance. Checkout number 7 and 3 were there. I had put my hood on my head and danced like a beast. Mikes mate mani was there. I said something to him and he was like ‘mate your a fucking genius’(or something.. it was a good moment). For some reason(bearing in mind, i’m not as drunk as everyone else at this point) we all took our tops off and danced on the stage. We even had like 5 randoms join us. Pretty funny. Bumped into Jamesy, he was with some bird.. so I danced with her mate. Some good dancing I must admit. It was ideal, because she had a bag i could put my jumper in. There was an afterparty at johns, but me and Jamesy got these girls on a bus. I then pissed in a letterbox and we got a taxi. We beat Aidan and Mike to johns. John was playing Piano(drunkenly). There was a puppy there called Eddy(effie) and some pretty nice pizza. For what ever reason, John threw Me, Mike and Aidan down the stairs. And then threw an armchair, and a pine chair(i’m not sure why i keep calling it a pine chair.. i have no idea what kind of wood it was) down the stairs at us. That was so dangerous haha! Could have ended up in disaster. John somehow cut his gun, it deflated. Oh i almost forgot about the milkshake.. Mike was drinking a milkshake out of the cup of destiny(a tin cup which hasn’t been washed for over 80 years). I seen the funniest tea pot.. and next to it was an even funnier tea pot. Mike spilled the milkshake over the floor, and used johns clean trousers to mop it up. John chased us with Numchuks. John seriously, that’s not a joke.. you will kill someone with them(he just missed mikes head, and made a massive dent in the door). Eventually went to bed, James had stolen Finlays bed, and i had to sleep underneath that.. With no real covers. Gutted.
Friday – Felt pretty rough when I got up around 9. Considering I went to bed at like 6 – no suprise. Chilled about in the morning, John did a lot of tidying.. I did a bit(well i made my bed). We took Eddy for a walk. I got him to chase me. Went up to mikes eventually and had a bacon sandwich. Made plans to go for the pizza hut buffet. Got the bus up to Polwarth and tried to get in touch with steel. He wasn’t having it so we rang his bell.. his flatmate Ben answered, steel was in the shower. He was listening to quite a cool band, can’t remember who. I could have used this time to shower.. but noooo. So we went down to pizza hut. Walking past santans, this old homeless guy goes to us(in an American accent) ‘You gotta get your shit together’ I looked at him.. unsure what to say.. Steel just goes ‘for sure brother’ and the guys like ‘right on’. Steel speaks the language. Brilliant. We got to Pizza hut and the girls like ‘the buffets not on because it’s a bank holiday, but there is this happy hour menu’ we were just like ‘Lets do it!’ and she was like ‘yeah let’s do it!’ Let’s do it! It was £14 for 4 people(you get a pizza, garlic bread and a drink each) but there was only 3 of us. We asked if we could still order for 4. She was like yeah. We didn’t know what to order for the invisible man though. It was pretty good though, we got a big jug of coke, more garlic bread and an extra pizza. Pretty good. I wasn’t even that hungry though, so tired. Still eat lots of food. We had a good chat about stuff. Mainly just utter shite. There was a family next to us and we just heard the mum shouting at the kid ‘shut it you’. It reminded Steel of a time when he heard a mum telling their kid ‘shut your face or i’l kick your cunt in’.. fucking mental. I think we agreed Pizza hut should be a weekly thing. We were unsure on etiquette at the end.. do we leave the money on the table or give it to someone. We left it on the table, and hoped the family of delinquents didn’t pick it up! Went up to mine and played Fifa. I beat steel 5-0. He was rubbish.. but it was an amazing game. Every goal i scored was fucking amazing. The first one I took it round the keeper and walked it into the net. The next one was an overhead kick. The 3rd one I passed the ball across the box and backheeled it into the net. The next I chipped the keeper. I think the 5th may have been a belter from 30 yards. This was all in the first half.. I never got a goal into him in the 2nd half! Jumped in the shower, listened to some Gaga. Played some more fifa. Andy called me at 630.. apparently i was meant to start at 6.. I had been convinced 100% it was a 7 start. Ran in. Decent shift.. it wasn’t actually that busy for a Friday night. It looked busy mobbed from where i was at the back bar, but as soon as you went past the toilets it was dead. Because of this we were able to have everything that we could possibly have done by 1 oclock done. Got away pretty much on 130. I had been planning on going to the hive myself to meet up with Aij, Mike, and all the girls. Everyone from Biddys was up for coming, so we had a proper crew with us. I went in to faith to say hi to john.. he was wrestling some guy on the ground who was shouting ‘why are you hurting me’. Apparently he was a racist or something. Headed on up to the hive. I was completely ready for catch up time. Or so I thought.
Got into the hive, immediately met Becca and Lois. Went to the bar, got ahold of our regular Jager-pourer – who is pretty sound actually, I like her – I ordered.. 2 jager bombs, and 4 double whisky and cokes. I asked her for a pint glass, and she was like ‘whats it for..? because i only have 4 and i need them for beer’. I said i was planning on pouring all my drinks into it, just so it’s easier to carry, but if she couldn’t spare it then it didn’t matter. She was like ‘na i’l give you it’. I also asked for a straw. I then took a sip of the drink, and my god.. I think all the whisky had gone to the top.. it was absolutely horrid. Ugh. But nonetheless, i had just spent £17 on drinks..and i was gonna drink it. Went to find people.. found all the folk from biddys, who it looked like they weren’t up for the crazy binge i was doing. No wonder.. why was i doing it! Btw.. there was a funny situation happening at this point.. but i shan’t utter it hear, if anyone wants to know then ask. I found it hilarious tho. Found Annie and Roisin and Lois and Shona and danced with them, Annie announced her undying love for me and said she would kill me if i didn’t go to her party. I told her i was going over and over again.. i actually need to find a way to make it to this party. I still hadn’t found mike or aij. I was quite intent on finding them. I Dispatched a search party. A crap search party, but a search party nonetheless. Laura said she had found them, i told her to bring them to me. She didn’t. Fair enough i guess. I got another drink in.. only 2 double whiskys this time.. bad chat haha. Laura asked if i was just drinking a pint of coke, i said yes. Gave her a taste and her reaction was so funny. I think i spoke to Katy for a while aswell.. or maybe i spoke to laura about katy. Unsure. Found them. Well i found Aidan who was with Paramore(I can now see why this is insulting to her.. Paramore isn’t actually that hot, i now realise she’s ganting. Lucy, you are much better looking than Hayley Williams, just learn how to sing like her and you are absolutely minted for life). They directed me to mike, in the cocktail bar. I convinced some guy to walk up to mike with me hiding behind him(kindof like a Trojan horse) and i jumped out on him and Ahmed. Went for a dance with Lucy, and i bust her nose open. I felt so bad, but it was so funny cos she didn’t really notice it was bleeding. Oops... That’l teach her to dance with me. Met the Biddy’s crew, Mike was like ‘man..why are all these people wearing the same T shirt as you. And why are they so hot?’ haha. We went for a dance, and by now it must’ve been like 2.55. Things get a bit hazy here.. I was trying to get people back to the flat, to drink my 3 cans of tenants and craigs bottle of vodka.. probably a good idea that no one came ha. Me, Laura and Lois went back to Ahmeds. I was really drunk by this point, Ahmed wouldn’t let anyone pay for the taxi.. good lad. I apparently spent some time outside throwing up, before going up and throwing up some more.. Ahmed called a taxi and gave me money for it. What a legend haha. I owe him a drink or 8 haha. Got home, got a bowl for my bed and went to sleep.
Saturday – Woke up feeling pretty goosed. The good thing being i hadn’t thrown up in my bowl, i only spat in it once. I went on spotify and listened to all the different versions of Nothing Compares To You. And i have no idea why. Our shower had been blocked by hair(apparently mine, but I don’t accept that) and was turning into a bath the more showers we had. So me and Craig did an extensive clean of the bathroom, it was epic. And quite effective. We made gloves out of plastic bags. I attempted to throw our bag of rubbish onto the street, but i didn’t. Craig went in the shower, i started watching the football. 25 seconds and JVoH had scored.. it was a shit goal, but fucking great! The rest of the game was pretty crap, ended 1-1. Went down to daves for a practise. He was late again. That is game over. I went mental at him again. I was like ‘ I could’ve had an extra 10 minutes in bed!’ haha. Practised, Drove up to Studios, Soundchecked, Me and Dave went looking for some food. Dave made me drink beer. It wasn’t fair(but thanks for buying them) I could not handle it though. The deal had been for him to buy me a McDonalds.. instead, he bought me Smoked Salmon and Fajitas. Not your typical hangover food, but pretty fucking good nonetheless! Spent a good while talking about his house, and living conditions etcetc. He needs to be a hard assed landlord otherwise it will fall to pieces! We lost track of time and got back to studios for about 7.20. We were meant to be on at 8. Got some drinks in. Craig on bar duties. Beer was not going down well. Not well atall. We made full use of the dressing room, hanging up coats etc. These crazy young cats(your typical neddy young kid band who think they’re the bees knees) were sitting with us. Pretty funny, I was so fucked from the night before so i was just talking pish to them. Cormac was talking to them too, but he didn’t really know what was going on. Went and played our set. It was pretty cool.. although i wish the guy from emergenza would stop trying to set my bass up for me.. Just leave it alone. Pretty good set..considering it was the first time the 5 of us had played together in over a month. Andy taylor was there after, had a good chat with him. Promised I’d take him out to get pished with us. That neddy band did a cover of supersonic which i thought was pretty ace(also totally lame.. i mean come on). I moved onto the double vodka and red bull because I just couldn’t handle the beer. After the bands had finished we went up for a chat with our legend of a promoter(i actually love him), all the bands were getting told about the next gig and asking questions and stuff. It was so funny, everyone was so serious. I was just asking stupid questions that didn’t even make sense. Basically to stall so that I didn’t have to leave. I chummed Craig up to get change for the bar, and we went everywhere but could not get any change! Eventually got some at the Slug and Lettuce. The manager was pretty sound, and me and craig made gestures behind her back which were funny. We went back to tell the bouncers from walkabout that we had got some change.. why.. I’m not sure, but craig said it was nice to be nice. Some girl had been chatting craig up during the gig apparently, We went out and craig was like ‘what’s happenin’ and her boyfriend glared angrily.. so funny. Or sorry, it was fuckin brilliant. Got back to studios and I remembered that people always say to me ‘when your ready’ when they try and get served, but be polite. So i was like to craig ‘when your ready...’ i don’t know if he got it tho haha! I then went on a search to find my bandmates.. i couldn’t find anyone. I was like fuck. Tried phoning them, nothing. Eventually got in touch with Dave who said they were in the Black bull because they were having to pay to get into studios. So basically.. I was on my norman. I spoke to mate in the cloakroom for a while, but A bit too much cos my drunken chat was annoying him ha. Cameron came down, and I spoke with him for a while. He said he didn’t like just standing talking, so I danced with him too, and he twirled me a round which was a bit strange. Drunk some more.. sent drunken texts.. Changed contacts in my phone to reflect peoples ages.. just wanted to pretend like i had friends haha. After what seemed like an eternity.. Kara, Gillian, Harry and Rory came! Managed to add them all to Craig’s guest list which was really cool. Went in, introduced them to craig and we started drinking. I was pretty drunk by this stage.. We danced and sang ‘Take Me Down To the Paradise City’ aswell as various other songs. It was brilliant. We decided Studios is the new hive. If only other people we knew went there.. Kieron and Dunc and stuff were there too. Kara, Gee, Haz and Roz left at some stage. I remember Craig saying to me ‘good effort man, you’ve had loads of vodka’, then apparently he found me wandering about on my own.. i went upstairs to ‘help’ him clear the bands room, although I just watched. Then went down, he gave me a shot of Sambuca and I left. Now this is where I don’t know what happened. I remember walking through the meadows with Jo.. and we walked to Liam’s party. However, I don’t know where I met her.. because I’m pretty sure she wasn’t at Studios.. which would lead me to believe I maybe went to the hive. Hmmmmm.
(update!) having spoken with Jo, apparently i did meet her in the hive.. although i have no idea why i was in the hive!
Got to the party, Don’t know what happened, or who was there, but loads of people were there, and they all left! I was gonna go sleep in the box room, but for some reason I played basketball in hashy’s room for ages... good lad. Thus began a night of the utmost shite being talked. It was fucking ridiculous the amount of nonsense that was being talked and covered. It was me, Harry Potter, that guy from JLS and one of the twins from big brother – there may have been more people there at some stage, but i’m not really sure. There was so much stuff we were talking about and doing, I cannot for the life of me remember half of it – but it was one of these situations(as the twin pointed out in the morning) that anything we said, we laughed at.. even if it wasn’t funny atall. It was funny though. I went through all the versions of Nothing Compares to you again, amazing. We watched this guy called Chi City..basically a black gangster style guy who has been given a parking ticket and sets out to kill the ticket.. ‘hit it with a freezepop’ ‘hit it with a whole gang of freeze pops’ ‘soap to ya dome bitch’. Its fucking funny, check it out on youtube. We then started trying to see who everyone’s lookalike was. Harry potter kept singing snow patrol at me, so I re-enacted the video from chasing cars. The twin was trying to show us how Sam looks like the kid with the drum in Glosiola by Sigur Ros.. but she paused it at this bit, and there was just like rocks and stuff. The sound was muted too. When she unpaused it, a fox appeared. I swear to god i have never laughed so much in the past 5 minutes. I promised them that I would make Nick dress up in a Thunderbirds costume. Also, how gutted would you be if you were Thunderbird 5? The other guys get to fly all over the place and attack people and save the world.. Thunderbird 5 just sits in his space station not eating any solids. Fuck all happens up there. We spent ages trying to find stuff on spotify.. stuff like Mass Dynamo Syncopation etc. It eventually became morning, and JLS man turned into a sheep, and the twin fell asleep. Me and Harry Potter were the hardcore ones who just didn’t go to bed. I managed to convert Harry to the Christian faith.. even though we couldn’t figure out what exactly happened at easter.. Jesus got pashed and fell into a cave.. woke up two days later. Some slightly Blasphemus stuff. He quite liked the idea that no matter what you did, how bad it was, you can just go to a priest and he’l be like ‘bless you my child’ and your back into heaven! It’s barry.
It’s kindof hard to decide where Saturday ends and Sunday begins, but We’ll go with here!
Sunday - The sheep woke up and was like ‘shit.. Some guy was meant to phone me at 9 to sell my car.. He doesn’t have my number, but he has my postcode’. Uhh.. how do you think people phone you? Via your postcode..duuuh. At this point i was trying to leave, but I couldn’t find my shoes. Literally spent like 3 hours looking for them. I was pretty convinced I arrived with shoes. Hashy wouldn’t loan me any shoes even though he had about 300 pairs...Great lad. Stalker got up and we looked at all the photos from the night.. I wasn’t in any of them, so we took one and added that to the collection. Eventually I discovered that some girl was sleeping on top of my shoes, what a cow! I then left and walked up to my folks. Totally fucked, spoke to Kara on the phone and her voice was so distant to me. It was crazy. I was totally fucked. She googled easter and gave me the goods on what happened exactly. Got up to my folks and was fucked.. I think they must’ve been like what the hell is going on. It felt like I’d just got back from T in the Park. Got my mum to cut me out of my shoes then I went to bed. Crashed out for ages then woke up thinking I’d slept in for work. Actually I hadn’t, but it was a slight panic. Had some pasta and a bath, then I went back to the flat for like 15 minutes, then off to work. Work was an absolute struggle. I was so fucked. Also.. I thought Easter was a time for family etc, why the fuck do so many people go out drinking on Easter Sunday?? Dicks. There was a big brawl at 3 Sisters so it got closed and loads of folk from there came to Biddys. Great. Even busier. I just wasn’t functioning properly. It was so busy, and there wasn’t enough staff on, so things got pretty messy. A fair amount of broken glass about the place, no one able to clean it up.. aaah. I finally finished and went to Capadoccia for a nice juicy kebab. I met John in there who was absolutely cunted. It sounded like he’d been out on the pish, then called to go and help at the 3 sisters, then went back on the pish.. He gave me a present of a lighter, which was just the most thoughtful gift ever. I lit it on his face. Walking down the road, this girl was like ‘are you Kevin?’ I was like no, but do you want a chip? She declared me the nicest boy she’d ever met..that night. Oh thanks! I was like why did you think I was Kevin? Apparently she had been meeting this guy called Kevin.. oh fuck.. actually, yes I am Kevin!! I forgot. Got back to the flat, had a pint of milk and watched south park. It felt actually amazing to get to sleep. Actually amazing. Great sleep.
Next week – working more, drinking less trying to sleep more but it’s tough. Annie’s party on Saturday – I am seriously trying everything in my power to make it along. How far is it to cycle? If anyones up for giving me a lift, I shall pay you(not that much but some). Also trying to get insured on my dads new campervan..btw..its pretty cool. I don’t know what to do! I really need to make it to this party or Annie will kill me. Going Paintballing for the Chow’s birthday on Sunday. That’l be barry likes. I’m gonna try and not drink. But It’s Craig’s birthday tonight aswell. Hope this blog takes you as long to read as it took me to write!
Tuesday, 7 April 2009
Poker, Poker, Poker Fucking Face!
Okay... A busy busy week! A LOT of working, and a little too much vodka. I seem to be falling off the bandwagon in spectacular style. I spent the whole week looking forward to Friday, and when it happened it was amazing!
Monday – Started at Biddys at midday. Left from my parents, and did not give myself nearly enough time to walk up. Made it to the top of morningside before jumping on a bus. Barely made it in on time. The place was mobbed when i came in, died down about 2ish and was pretty dead for the rest of the day. Apparently we did like 60 breakfasts! Which is loads. Finished at 10 and I had been expecting to go home and transcribe a set that Ben had sent me for Tuesday, but he text me saying the guitarist had pulled out so we weren’t playing. Got home, played some fifa and went to bed.
Tuesday – A woman came round to my flat to give me a phone for my new job, and she did some training etc with me.. but my internet didn’t work properly so it was a bit of a waste... I’ve started a new job where I essentially answer phone calls in my flat(its not a sex line!) and patch them through to various clients. The money i earn is dependent on the amount of calls i answer so I’m gonna see how it goes – but it seems pretty cool. I don’t have to wear any clothes which is a bonus. I bought a massive Ethernet cable which goes from my room to the back of the living room. I love that thing(i’m not really sure why, it’s just cool).
Wednesday – Started my ‘job’(it is a real job actually, but i say it in inverted commas because to get to my ‘job’ i have to open my bedroom door, then open the living room door , and i’m at work. Finished that at 3 then went to Biddy’s for 5. 5 -11. Watched the Scotland game while working. Good result. There was a few folk from biddys in drinking, so when i finished i was like.. I’l have one. I then started absolutely hammering double vodkas. Went to Faith with Mark and Shauno and Did a Strawpedo – aswell as more vodka. It’s not like Liquid Rooms... drinks are more expensive, and i don’t know anyone that goes there. The only people i saw that i knew were Jakil(fucking great to see them tho!). I don’t remember leaving.
Thursday – I woke up in a polo shirt and some shorts. Fair enough, nothing out of the ordinary. I look round, and in my bed next to me is another polo shirt. Strange. I then see a pile of clothes on the floor(not even clothes I had been wearing) and they are wet. Not soaking wet, but like a half pint of water had been thrown on them. I went into the hall, and another polo shirt is lying there. I have no explanation for any of this. Strange. Went to do some teaching.. feeling slightly hungover which i don’t like doing.. It was an absolutely gorgeous day. Nick and Matt came over and we played far too much fifa. I signed up for twitter.. which i don’t really get to be honest.. i guess it’s since i don’t have a mobile device so it makes it kindof hard to keep updating it. Went to bed far to late(well about 11).
Friday – Started work at Biddys at 6.45. I assumed it was for the delivery, but actually it was just for breakfast. I was pretty tired. Not a bad day, i cut up a load of limes and stuff. The craziest thing happened. I went to get a pint glass from up above, but it was wet and it slipped out my hand, just missed some guy who was leaning over the bar, bounced off the ground and miraculously it didn’t smash! I had visions of this guy covered in blood. Crisis averted.
The best night of our lives..I spent to whole day anticipating it! Unfortunately i forgot to really invite everyone, because I had spent too much time playing fifa the night before. I Finished at 5 and immediately got a pint. It has never tasted so good. Spoke with Roddy for a while, he bought me another pint – so I owe him one and then i left. Made it back to the flat about 645, with people coming round for 7. I assumed people wouldn’t arrive on time, so i could get like 30 mins kip or whatever. Nope. Everyone showed up on time. Worked our way through 2 crates of tenants, and Costa and Matt had a keg. I can’t actually remember what nick was drinking, but it was probably Bulmers. Played fifa, ordered a Chinese – Demolished a Chinese. It was fucking gorgeous. (I’m actually quite tempted to get another one as i write this) Looked and laughed at some old school photos in Karas facebook page, and mike showed us Jaqueline number 7’s photos of our night out.. which she never tagged us in.. Maynard and Devon came round, and i swear to god Maynard is so funny. He brought his collapsible(not convinced thats the right spelling, but spell check says it is) wheelbarrow to the hive so that he could drag some bitch home in it. I beat him at tennis on the wii, but his shit chat is so funny. He called my partner a whore. Naomi I think she was called. We got taxis up to the hive at 1030. The driver was sound, he let me drink. Although he didn’t let Maynard smoke, because it was not a big fat dubbie of Marijuana. Haha. Me and Dom went in first cos aidan was scared about Dom using his ID. We went in and fired some vodka down us. The vodka is actually the worst thing i have ever tasted. It was so rank. And i like glens. They aren’t doing buy one get one free on spirits.. It’s now ‘Buy one.. Get another one a little bit cheaper!’ However, they were doing buy one get one free on Jager. Craig was like ‘can i get 6, no 10, no 14, no 300!’ just shouting constant abuse at the girl. He even offered to buy her one, she said she wasn’t allowed to drink. Yet she came back later and asked for one. It was sophies birthday, so everyone was pretty much out. It was good banter, very good banter. We all ran through and danced to lady gaga, then went back to the bar. The whole bar sang happy birthday, and we were banging and banging. We also sang about Henrik Larsson. Billy Liar was there.. he apparently walked into the bar, seen me, turned and walked right out haha. Tough times. Craig and Aidan pulled..now this is where it gets confusing... A Swede who lives in Denmark and a German.. and got there numbers. The Swede was called Lima. I played Ludo at a Swedish girl with an irish accent’s flat later, and she was called Lima, but it was a different girl.. We think.. they have different phone numbers so it surely can’t be. I don’t really remember anything about the hive after the first hour(this seems to be the norm with the hive). Next thing I know, I’m in a flat which i have no idea where it is, and I’m playing Ludo with an Irish girl who says she’s Swedish, listening to The Libertines. I was so drunk I didn’t have a clue what was going on. The Ludo board was like a roller coaster aswell. Craig phoned me up and i let her speak, she was like a found this phone and i quite like it. Craig was like ‘give me my crusher back’. I then phoned craig from her phone, and was like i lost my phone, but i found this one! Kara apparently phoned me too and i told her i was in my flat and wasn’t sleeping haha. I was pretty close to falling asleep, but she kept making me tell her stories.. i don’t know any stories. I don’t really remember a lot of stuff that happened.. but apparently I told her a story about 3 men and a river. One of them crossed the river and the others stayed on the river bank.... How did i think of that haha? I started to tell her the complete works of harry potter, but she got bored and wanted a story about drugs.. so i told her about harry potter in skins. I also found Sinead O Connors greatest hits.. I’m not sure why it’s called greatest hits... the vast majority of her stuff is absolute garbage. At some stage i think i fell asleep... i honestly was so drunk.
Saturday – Woke up and felt totally fucked. Headed up to the flat around midday. Turned out i had been at the meadows. I had a band practise at 2. Dave was late again. I tried to get some food but failed miserably. I was raging with dave, just giving him one word answers and not really speaking to him. Then he was like ‘il go to mcdonalds for you’.. That made me instantly forgive him. He brought the McDonalds, and it was good. The practise was a struggle. I kept making strange faces and noises. Still sounded alright. Afterwards I was planning to go home for a 20 minute sleep, but we won two free sundaes from McDonalds, so me and Dave went for them. He promised me he would be in the studio between 3 and 5 the next day so i could pick up my bass. The sundaes were ok.. but by this point i was seriously falling asleep. Got home, changed my clothes and went to work. Started at 6, and It was properly busy from 6 until close. I got some soup and a sandwich which went down surprisingly well. Working at biddys on a Saturday night is just like being at Cav.. on a Saturday.. but the tunes are good. I’ve not been to Cav in a while, but i imagine Lady Gaga would be prominent on the set list. Poker Face is such a tune. I was totally running on empty. It was my job to keep the front bar stocked.. so i had to push through a full pub of dancing drunks with 3 crates of magners at a time. That was tough. For the last hour i was on the floor, having to do the same, but with a try of hot glasses. Got away about 2. I got a beast of a kebab. Very nice. Walked home.. bumped into Max and Ross at the same bus stop..they don’t know each other.. Got home, read half a page of my book and KO’d.
Sunday - Woke up a little too early. Went back to bed, then got up again about 1130. Went into town with nick(i wore shorts cos it was nice..however it was very cold) and got myself a hoodie. I was pretty much planning to spend the day chilling, and then going along to the chanter about 9ish for my gig. How wrong I was. Went round to pick up Sam’s drumkit.. hashy let us in.. good lad! Taxi to Andy’s. Then Mick told us there was already a drumkit there. Grr. Then he told me to bring a bass amp. Grr a little notice please. Got my dad to pick me up and took it there. Not much of an issue but a pain. He picked me up in the campervan.. which is actually quite cool, but it’s very cringeworthy. Went into the chanter.. the girl was nice but didn’t really know what they had etc. While this was happening.. Dave(who said he would definitely be at the studio) was telling me he was too tird. “I’m too knackered man.. Actually.. I’m not knackered.. I’m just really high.” To open up his studio and so there was no way i could have my bass for tonight. I mean what the fuck, that’s totally gay. Fair enough he didn’t know the band would cancel, but i need my fucking bass. He also told us(when we thought we needed a drumkit) that there was no way he would hire us his drumkit because he was too stoned. Does he want his business to succeed or what.. I’m sick of trusting him with stuff.. he’s too much of a liability. It’s not just my bass I didn’t have access to.. It’s my whole set up, my leads my tuner, everything that ensures i have what I need to do a good show. Fucking raging. After phoning various people, i ended up using my stagg bass(worth about £50 and it shows) Steel legend lent me his cables, and craig gave me his wee shitty tuner. I felt so fucking amateur. Got down to Chanter for about 830. Mick tells me there’s no mike stands, but he’s just ordered some Scampi so he’l ask some pubs for some after his scampi. I was like, no.. go and find a fucking mike stand. While he went away, I started setting up the PA.. in the cupboard is like 5 mic stands.. When they said there was no mic stands did anyone actually check?? Trying to sort out the PA, so many duff cables etc etc... the microphone wasn’t working.. blab la.. totally stressed.. finally got it all sorted, and i got myself a nice cold pint. Chanter is good.. £1.50 for any drink. Cannot be beaten. Played the set.. it went cool. Afterwards I said I liked the Sugababes better than Girls Aloud, so Andy made me sit on my own and drink a bottle of wine. I wasn’t allowed to rejoin the group til i finished the bottle. That bottle probably convinced me to go out. Stayed at the Chanter till close, then went to the hive. Andy kept buying me tequila. I threw it up. I am no longer drinking vodka in the hive, it is fucking repulsive. I can’t put that shit in my body any more. Apparently some crazy shit was going down. Piggy back fighting on the dance floor, forward rolls during the final countdown; Some old gay guy in a suit andy kept buying drinks for; andy shoving my(used) earplugs up his nose and trying to spit them across the street. It took fucking ages to get home, apparently me and mick had a forward roll competition down niddry street. Andy took his trousers off and declared chamber street “Law Territory”. I went to the All night bakery. The guy was there, but he told me it was shut.. i was like ‘but there’s a pie right there’ “we’re shut” ‘but i can see the pie....’ I got home and made supernoodles and i didn’t set the kitchen on fire! Fucking brilliant.
Next week – I’m basically working all the time. Gigging with Arcane Corps at Studio 24 on Saturday – We’re celebrating craigs birthday. I haven’t played with them for a good month or so, and Remembering the songs may be tricky.. ach well. Get pished. I’m not drinking till Saturday. I need to recover my strength. Have a good week you bunch of cool folk!
Monday – Started at Biddys at midday. Left from my parents, and did not give myself nearly enough time to walk up. Made it to the top of morningside before jumping on a bus. Barely made it in on time. The place was mobbed when i came in, died down about 2ish and was pretty dead for the rest of the day. Apparently we did like 60 breakfasts! Which is loads. Finished at 10 and I had been expecting to go home and transcribe a set that Ben had sent me for Tuesday, but he text me saying the guitarist had pulled out so we weren’t playing. Got home, played some fifa and went to bed.
Tuesday – A woman came round to my flat to give me a phone for my new job, and she did some training etc with me.. but my internet didn’t work properly so it was a bit of a waste... I’ve started a new job where I essentially answer phone calls in my flat(its not a sex line!) and patch them through to various clients. The money i earn is dependent on the amount of calls i answer so I’m gonna see how it goes – but it seems pretty cool. I don’t have to wear any clothes which is a bonus. I bought a massive Ethernet cable which goes from my room to the back of the living room. I love that thing(i’m not really sure why, it’s just cool).
Wednesday – Started my ‘job’(it is a real job actually, but i say it in inverted commas because to get to my ‘job’ i have to open my bedroom door, then open the living room door , and i’m at work. Finished that at 3 then went to Biddy’s for 5. 5 -11. Watched the Scotland game while working. Good result. There was a few folk from biddys in drinking, so when i finished i was like.. I’l have one. I then started absolutely hammering double vodkas. Went to Faith with Mark and Shauno and Did a Strawpedo – aswell as more vodka. It’s not like Liquid Rooms... drinks are more expensive, and i don’t know anyone that goes there. The only people i saw that i knew were Jakil(fucking great to see them tho!). I don’t remember leaving.
Thursday – I woke up in a polo shirt and some shorts. Fair enough, nothing out of the ordinary. I look round, and in my bed next to me is another polo shirt. Strange. I then see a pile of clothes on the floor(not even clothes I had been wearing) and they are wet. Not soaking wet, but like a half pint of water had been thrown on them. I went into the hall, and another polo shirt is lying there. I have no explanation for any of this. Strange. Went to do some teaching.. feeling slightly hungover which i don’t like doing.. It was an absolutely gorgeous day. Nick and Matt came over and we played far too much fifa. I signed up for twitter.. which i don’t really get to be honest.. i guess it’s since i don’t have a mobile device so it makes it kindof hard to keep updating it. Went to bed far to late(well about 11).
Friday – Started work at Biddys at 6.45. I assumed it was for the delivery, but actually it was just for breakfast. I was pretty tired. Not a bad day, i cut up a load of limes and stuff. The craziest thing happened. I went to get a pint glass from up above, but it was wet and it slipped out my hand, just missed some guy who was leaning over the bar, bounced off the ground and miraculously it didn’t smash! I had visions of this guy covered in blood. Crisis averted.
The best night of our lives..I spent to whole day anticipating it! Unfortunately i forgot to really invite everyone, because I had spent too much time playing fifa the night before. I Finished at 5 and immediately got a pint. It has never tasted so good. Spoke with Roddy for a while, he bought me another pint – so I owe him one and then i left. Made it back to the flat about 645, with people coming round for 7. I assumed people wouldn’t arrive on time, so i could get like 30 mins kip or whatever. Nope. Everyone showed up on time. Worked our way through 2 crates of tenants, and Costa and Matt had a keg. I can’t actually remember what nick was drinking, but it was probably Bulmers. Played fifa, ordered a Chinese – Demolished a Chinese. It was fucking gorgeous. (I’m actually quite tempted to get another one as i write this) Looked and laughed at some old school photos in Karas facebook page, and mike showed us Jaqueline number 7’s photos of our night out.. which she never tagged us in.. Maynard and Devon came round, and i swear to god Maynard is so funny. He brought his collapsible(not convinced thats the right spelling, but spell check says it is) wheelbarrow to the hive so that he could drag some bitch home in it. I beat him at tennis on the wii, but his shit chat is so funny. He called my partner a whore. Naomi I think she was called. We got taxis up to the hive at 1030. The driver was sound, he let me drink. Although he didn’t let Maynard smoke, because it was not a big fat dubbie of Marijuana. Haha. Me and Dom went in first cos aidan was scared about Dom using his ID. We went in and fired some vodka down us. The vodka is actually the worst thing i have ever tasted. It was so rank. And i like glens. They aren’t doing buy one get one free on spirits.. It’s now ‘Buy one.. Get another one a little bit cheaper!’ However, they were doing buy one get one free on Jager. Craig was like ‘can i get 6, no 10, no 14, no 300!’ just shouting constant abuse at the girl. He even offered to buy her one, she said she wasn’t allowed to drink. Yet she came back later and asked for one. It was sophies birthday, so everyone was pretty much out. It was good banter, very good banter. We all ran through and danced to lady gaga, then went back to the bar. The whole bar sang happy birthday, and we were banging and banging. We also sang about Henrik Larsson. Billy Liar was there.. he apparently walked into the bar, seen me, turned and walked right out haha. Tough times. Craig and Aidan pulled..now this is where it gets confusing... A Swede who lives in Denmark and a German.. and got there numbers. The Swede was called Lima. I played Ludo at a Swedish girl with an irish accent’s flat later, and she was called Lima, but it was a different girl.. We think.. they have different phone numbers so it surely can’t be. I don’t really remember anything about the hive after the first hour(this seems to be the norm with the hive). Next thing I know, I’m in a flat which i have no idea where it is, and I’m playing Ludo with an Irish girl who says she’s Swedish, listening to The Libertines. I was so drunk I didn’t have a clue what was going on. The Ludo board was like a roller coaster aswell. Craig phoned me up and i let her speak, she was like a found this phone and i quite like it. Craig was like ‘give me my crusher back’. I then phoned craig from her phone, and was like i lost my phone, but i found this one! Kara apparently phoned me too and i told her i was in my flat and wasn’t sleeping haha. I was pretty close to falling asleep, but she kept making me tell her stories.. i don’t know any stories. I don’t really remember a lot of stuff that happened.. but apparently I told her a story about 3 men and a river. One of them crossed the river and the others stayed on the river bank.... How did i think of that haha? I started to tell her the complete works of harry potter, but she got bored and wanted a story about drugs.. so i told her about harry potter in skins. I also found Sinead O Connors greatest hits.. I’m not sure why it’s called greatest hits... the vast majority of her stuff is absolute garbage. At some stage i think i fell asleep... i honestly was so drunk.
Saturday – Woke up and felt totally fucked. Headed up to the flat around midday. Turned out i had been at the meadows. I had a band practise at 2. Dave was late again. I tried to get some food but failed miserably. I was raging with dave, just giving him one word answers and not really speaking to him. Then he was like ‘il go to mcdonalds for you’.. That made me instantly forgive him. He brought the McDonalds, and it was good. The practise was a struggle. I kept making strange faces and noises. Still sounded alright. Afterwards I was planning to go home for a 20 minute sleep, but we won two free sundaes from McDonalds, so me and Dave went for them. He promised me he would be in the studio between 3 and 5 the next day so i could pick up my bass. The sundaes were ok.. but by this point i was seriously falling asleep. Got home, changed my clothes and went to work. Started at 6, and It was properly busy from 6 until close. I got some soup and a sandwich which went down surprisingly well. Working at biddys on a Saturday night is just like being at Cav.. on a Saturday.. but the tunes are good. I’ve not been to Cav in a while, but i imagine Lady Gaga would be prominent on the set list. Poker Face is such a tune. I was totally running on empty. It was my job to keep the front bar stocked.. so i had to push through a full pub of dancing drunks with 3 crates of magners at a time. That was tough. For the last hour i was on the floor, having to do the same, but with a try of hot glasses. Got away about 2. I got a beast of a kebab. Very nice. Walked home.. bumped into Max and Ross at the same bus stop..they don’t know each other.. Got home, read half a page of my book and KO’d.
Sunday - Woke up a little too early. Went back to bed, then got up again about 1130. Went into town with nick(i wore shorts cos it was nice..however it was very cold) and got myself a hoodie. I was pretty much planning to spend the day chilling, and then going along to the chanter about 9ish for my gig. How wrong I was. Went round to pick up Sam’s drumkit.. hashy let us in.. good lad! Taxi to Andy’s. Then Mick told us there was already a drumkit there. Grr. Then he told me to bring a bass amp. Grr a little notice please. Got my dad to pick me up and took it there. Not much of an issue but a pain. He picked me up in the campervan.. which is actually quite cool, but it’s very cringeworthy. Went into the chanter.. the girl was nice but didn’t really know what they had etc. While this was happening.. Dave(who said he would definitely be at the studio) was telling me he was too tird. “I’m too knackered man.. Actually.. I’m not knackered.. I’m just really high.” To open up his studio and so there was no way i could have my bass for tonight. I mean what the fuck, that’s totally gay. Fair enough he didn’t know the band would cancel, but i need my fucking bass. He also told us(when we thought we needed a drumkit) that there was no way he would hire us his drumkit because he was too stoned. Does he want his business to succeed or what.. I’m sick of trusting him with stuff.. he’s too much of a liability. It’s not just my bass I didn’t have access to.. It’s my whole set up, my leads my tuner, everything that ensures i have what I need to do a good show. Fucking raging. After phoning various people, i ended up using my stagg bass(worth about £50 and it shows) Steel legend lent me his cables, and craig gave me his wee shitty tuner. I felt so fucking amateur. Got down to Chanter for about 830. Mick tells me there’s no mike stands, but he’s just ordered some Scampi so he’l ask some pubs for some after his scampi. I was like, no.. go and find a fucking mike stand. While he went away, I started setting up the PA.. in the cupboard is like 5 mic stands.. When they said there was no mic stands did anyone actually check?? Trying to sort out the PA, so many duff cables etc etc... the microphone wasn’t working.. blab la.. totally stressed.. finally got it all sorted, and i got myself a nice cold pint. Chanter is good.. £1.50 for any drink. Cannot be beaten. Played the set.. it went cool. Afterwards I said I liked the Sugababes better than Girls Aloud, so Andy made me sit on my own and drink a bottle of wine. I wasn’t allowed to rejoin the group til i finished the bottle. That bottle probably convinced me to go out. Stayed at the Chanter till close, then went to the hive. Andy kept buying me tequila. I threw it up. I am no longer drinking vodka in the hive, it is fucking repulsive. I can’t put that shit in my body any more. Apparently some crazy shit was going down. Piggy back fighting on the dance floor, forward rolls during the final countdown; Some old gay guy in a suit andy kept buying drinks for; andy shoving my(used) earplugs up his nose and trying to spit them across the street. It took fucking ages to get home, apparently me and mick had a forward roll competition down niddry street. Andy took his trousers off and declared chamber street “Law Territory”. I went to the All night bakery. The guy was there, but he told me it was shut.. i was like ‘but there’s a pie right there’ “we’re shut” ‘but i can see the pie....’ I got home and made supernoodles and i didn’t set the kitchen on fire! Fucking brilliant.
Next week – I’m basically working all the time. Gigging with Arcane Corps at Studio 24 on Saturday – We’re celebrating craigs birthday. I haven’t played with them for a good month or so, and Remembering the songs may be tricky.. ach well. Get pished. I’m not drinking till Saturday. I need to recover my strength. Have a good week you bunch of cool folk!
Monday, 6 April 2009
How Long Will I Slide? Separate My Side
Hmm this is the latest my blog has been since it’s reincarnation! All I can do is apologise! I’ve kindof taken to being a recluse since i started working again.. I’m such a pussy. I don’t know what’s going on! It shall change soon. On with the week..
Monday – My first day off all weekend! I spent the whole day vegetating, watching The Simpsons, family guy, and i discovered that Peepshow is actually pretty funny.. in a strange sort of way. I was expecting a courier to come with a delivery, but it didn’t. Went for biggest shop i’ve done in a long time with nick in the flower mobile. Asda. Spent £30 on absolute shite. I bought some of Sams 10p noodles, which i shall experiment with, and if their not too bad, i’l buy £10 worth(100 packs of noodles!) Didn’t do much at night, I’m sure i crashed out very early!
Tuesday – Working 12 – 8 at biddys. It wasn’t very busy which was nice. I went to pick up some posters from a copy shop just past the Cowgate, however for varying reasons i had to make three trips back and forth! Bit of a pain, but it meant I had done a fair amount of walking. Got to listen to some biffy on my pod too. I had geared myself up to finish at 8.. and then i found out i was on till 10.. Those last two hours dragged like a mother fucker. An absolute mother fucker. Got home, had some food and went to bed.
Wednesday – Woke up and i could feel a cold coming on.. great. Ben picked me up and we went to his to work on his set for the following week.. A slow start, but by the end we were cooking on gas. We hit 90 on the way back, and just thinking about it – I don’t think I’ve gone that fast for months, I almost never go on the motorway or anything! It felt really weird haha. Got back and went to bed.
Thursday – Up early for some fun at the EICC! I woke up and felt absolutely disgusting. Stocked up on Lemsips and headed in. Piss easy day, nothing going on. Probably a good thing as my head was away with the fairies. Got some good duck stir fry for lunch, then got home and put on my teaching hat. My laptop is missing drivers for burning CDs.. So i need to find that. I was planning on going straight to bed once i got home, however, John phoned me and so came round and we played Guitar Hero for a couple of hours. Just before that, I discovered that we have a lot more channels than i thought. I spent like 30mins watching a programme about Cars on a factory line, and then i watched something about body armour. Pretty interesting.. but i have no idea why i was watching it!
Friday – Thus starts my weekend of work.. 8-5 Friday, 8-5 Saturday and 8-5 Sunday. Brilliant.
Friday started off cool.. Found out the reason I was starting at 8(Breakfast for the hotel next door), and also found out I’m gonna have a 6.45am start the following Friday! In a pub! How is that possible! Was a fairly average day, that pub is never dead, it was fairly busy from about 10. Nick and Kara Brown Hair came to visit me. Just before i went for my lunch(like my lunch was sitting there ready) I had to do an order of like 12 pints. Nightmare. Ate my burger. Gillian came in aswell! I miss her. She had some sticky toffee pudding, which i am determined to have one day! The good thing i guess, about finishing at 5, is that you get to leave just as it starts to get really busy. All the staff are coming in for the late shift, and your just like ‘byeee.’ Got home and was ready for a snooze. Although after being in for 3 mins Kev rings the bell. Oh well, play some fifa, have some pizza. I was considering having a couple drinks but then i had to give Nick £5 from craig(oh i still owe craig about £8.. forgot about that) which i was gonna use to buy my cans. Loads of nicks friends came round, and were tempting me to go out.. but i resisted..! I did have a couple cans which KBH and Claire McGrath, an arm for a leg and a leg for a bath gave me. Turns out Claires preferred humour is Math. She kept cracking off these bad jokes about algebra and stuff. A couple of Nicks friends from Canada were there, they were pretty funny – i could never tell whether they were being serious or taking the piss. About 10ish they all headed out to see sash. I watched southpark then went to bed. I got next to no sleep, due to Nick and Co singing/ringing bells and whatever! Not bothered tho, cos I’ve done it to him in the past!
Saturday – Early into work, It’s such a struggle getting in after such little sleep! I managed to get some cheerios down me before i left though. It was a fairly typical day. There was a stag party in from 930, so funny – they were just shouting ‘1,2,3,4,5’ then collapsing with laughter. They were making funny whistle noises too(not sure how to make it into an onomatopoeia but i’l try) ‘whooooop.. whooooo’ So funny. Another Irish stag party came in and basically spent the whole weekend in the pub. They went Go Karting. Irish people use funny words(yoke for example) – One of them asked me if there was a quier pub(not queer – i gave them a funny look and he was like i’m not a poof haha) I have no idea what quier means. I then started using Scottish words to confuse them – like Braw, Ken, and Ya Filthy mother fucker, wheres my money? I think i had soup and a sandwich for lunch. Pretty good. Mike from the tron came in and was like ‘aha, the tables have turned’.. turns out he’s a tour guide now. Same script – It get’s properly busy just as i finish, great. Said hi to john then left. Back to the flat via Farmfoods where i got some haribo for movie night. I can’t remember what i had for tea. (btw, I am taking ages to write this blog! This is me just coming back to finish it a week after it was due(due for who?))
Aidan and Mike came round and we watched Scotland get humped.. Perfectly good goal chopped off, but we still weren’t gonna win. Had a couple beers, i was doing(for the first time ever..) spacers. i.e. the thing that the health board tells you to do when your drinking.. beer, then a glass of water, beer, then a glass of water etc etc. Steel came round after the football and we watched casino royale.. totally don’t haven’t clue what that films about. The funniest thing ever though, is the Richard Branson cameo. Watch the film and in the bit at the Airport, when James Bond, James Bond, goes through the security scanners, Richard Branson is just standing there with his hands up, looking at the camera. I swear to god i have never laughed so much. Apparently, he actually appears 4 times in the film.. as an easter egg if you know what i mean. We could only spot him the once though. We spoke about johns latest career choice – instead of joining the police, he has now decided to use his (massive) muscles in the pastry chef industry(a booming industry that it is). Good for him.
Sunday – 8-5 aaaagainn.. Pretty quiet day, a lot of hungover irish folk getting breakfast! I can’t really remember what happened tbh, standard day. Went up to my folks after work and had a bath some tea, and a sleep! Fucking great.
Next week – (bear in mind it has already happened).. Working absolute shitloads, Friday night will be the best night of our lives(with alchohol) Gig at the chanter(which turned out to be an absolute fucking stress) It’s all good though, but can someone please become me so i can have some sleep? Cheers
Monday – My first day off all weekend! I spent the whole day vegetating, watching The Simpsons, family guy, and i discovered that Peepshow is actually pretty funny.. in a strange sort of way. I was expecting a courier to come with a delivery, but it didn’t. Went for biggest shop i’ve done in a long time with nick in the flower mobile. Asda. Spent £30 on absolute shite. I bought some of Sams 10p noodles, which i shall experiment with, and if their not too bad, i’l buy £10 worth(100 packs of noodles!) Didn’t do much at night, I’m sure i crashed out very early!
Tuesday – Working 12 – 8 at biddys. It wasn’t very busy which was nice. I went to pick up some posters from a copy shop just past the Cowgate, however for varying reasons i had to make three trips back and forth! Bit of a pain, but it meant I had done a fair amount of walking. Got to listen to some biffy on my pod too. I had geared myself up to finish at 8.. and then i found out i was on till 10.. Those last two hours dragged like a mother fucker. An absolute mother fucker. Got home, had some food and went to bed.
Wednesday – Woke up and i could feel a cold coming on.. great. Ben picked me up and we went to his to work on his set for the following week.. A slow start, but by the end we were cooking on gas. We hit 90 on the way back, and just thinking about it – I don’t think I’ve gone that fast for months, I almost never go on the motorway or anything! It felt really weird haha. Got back and went to bed.
Thursday – Up early for some fun at the EICC! I woke up and felt absolutely disgusting. Stocked up on Lemsips and headed in. Piss easy day, nothing going on. Probably a good thing as my head was away with the fairies. Got some good duck stir fry for lunch, then got home and put on my teaching hat. My laptop is missing drivers for burning CDs.. So i need to find that. I was planning on going straight to bed once i got home, however, John phoned me and so came round and we played Guitar Hero for a couple of hours. Just before that, I discovered that we have a lot more channels than i thought. I spent like 30mins watching a programme about Cars on a factory line, and then i watched something about body armour. Pretty interesting.. but i have no idea why i was watching it!
Friday – Thus starts my weekend of work.. 8-5 Friday, 8-5 Saturday and 8-5 Sunday. Brilliant.
Friday started off cool.. Found out the reason I was starting at 8(Breakfast for the hotel next door), and also found out I’m gonna have a 6.45am start the following Friday! In a pub! How is that possible! Was a fairly average day, that pub is never dead, it was fairly busy from about 10. Nick and Kara Brown Hair came to visit me. Just before i went for my lunch(like my lunch was sitting there ready) I had to do an order of like 12 pints. Nightmare. Ate my burger. Gillian came in aswell! I miss her. She had some sticky toffee pudding, which i am determined to have one day! The good thing i guess, about finishing at 5, is that you get to leave just as it starts to get really busy. All the staff are coming in for the late shift, and your just like ‘byeee.’ Got home and was ready for a snooze. Although after being in for 3 mins Kev rings the bell. Oh well, play some fifa, have some pizza. I was considering having a couple drinks but then i had to give Nick £5 from craig(oh i still owe craig about £8.. forgot about that) which i was gonna use to buy my cans. Loads of nicks friends came round, and were tempting me to go out.. but i resisted..! I did have a couple cans which KBH and Claire McGrath, an arm for a leg and a leg for a bath gave me. Turns out Claires preferred humour is Math. She kept cracking off these bad jokes about algebra and stuff. A couple of Nicks friends from Canada were there, they were pretty funny – i could never tell whether they were being serious or taking the piss. About 10ish they all headed out to see sash. I watched southpark then went to bed. I got next to no sleep, due to Nick and Co singing/ringing bells and whatever! Not bothered tho, cos I’ve done it to him in the past!
Saturday – Early into work, It’s such a struggle getting in after such little sleep! I managed to get some cheerios down me before i left though. It was a fairly typical day. There was a stag party in from 930, so funny – they were just shouting ‘1,2,3,4,5’ then collapsing with laughter. They were making funny whistle noises too(not sure how to make it into an onomatopoeia but i’l try) ‘whooooop.. whooooo’ So funny. Another Irish stag party came in and basically spent the whole weekend in the pub. They went Go Karting. Irish people use funny words(yoke for example) – One of them asked me if there was a quier pub(not queer – i gave them a funny look and he was like i’m not a poof haha) I have no idea what quier means. I then started using Scottish words to confuse them – like Braw, Ken, and Ya Filthy mother fucker, wheres my money? I think i had soup and a sandwich for lunch. Pretty good. Mike from the tron came in and was like ‘aha, the tables have turned’.. turns out he’s a tour guide now. Same script – It get’s properly busy just as i finish, great. Said hi to john then left. Back to the flat via Farmfoods where i got some haribo for movie night. I can’t remember what i had for tea. (btw, I am taking ages to write this blog! This is me just coming back to finish it a week after it was due(due for who?))
Aidan and Mike came round and we watched Scotland get humped.. Perfectly good goal chopped off, but we still weren’t gonna win. Had a couple beers, i was doing(for the first time ever..) spacers. i.e. the thing that the health board tells you to do when your drinking.. beer, then a glass of water, beer, then a glass of water etc etc. Steel came round after the football and we watched casino royale.. totally don’t haven’t clue what that films about. The funniest thing ever though, is the Richard Branson cameo. Watch the film and in the bit at the Airport, when James Bond, James Bond, goes through the security scanners, Richard Branson is just standing there with his hands up, looking at the camera. I swear to god i have never laughed so much. Apparently, he actually appears 4 times in the film.. as an easter egg if you know what i mean. We could only spot him the once though. We spoke about johns latest career choice – instead of joining the police, he has now decided to use his (massive) muscles in the pastry chef industry(a booming industry that it is). Good for him.
Sunday – 8-5 aaaagainn.. Pretty quiet day, a lot of hungover irish folk getting breakfast! I can’t really remember what happened tbh, standard day. Went up to my folks after work and had a bath some tea, and a sleep! Fucking great.
Next week – (bear in mind it has already happened).. Working absolute shitloads, Friday night will be the best night of our lives(with alchohol) Gig at the chanter(which turned out to be an absolute fucking stress) It’s all good though, but can someone please become me so i can have some sleep? Cheers
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